Posts Tagged ‘fashion’

My Week(244) in iPhone Photos

Sunday, July 5th, 2015

Hello. It is summer.

Sunday:

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Morning lap naps because we have no where to be

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Sports!

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She’s very good at selfies

Monday:

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Our Mystic day started at the aquarium

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Then I tied my baby to a chair to eat grilled cheese…

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Then Caroline decorated a whale at the seaport

Tuesday:

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I’M A BIG KID

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LOOK AT ME BEING BIG

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Being a big kid is exhausting

Wednesday:

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That whale is definitely trying to eat her

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Caroline thinks sitting is boring

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LINC THINKS SITTING IS VERY EXCITING

Thursday:

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Bed stealer

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Perfect

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One Caroline to push 3 babies. She’s got it.

Friday:

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So grown

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Evan is doing is presentation about Seaport Camp and explaining his picture looks like that because he “only works in black and sometimes very very dark gray”.

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Babies do not have good table manners

Saturday (Happy Fourth!!):

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The Mayflower!! Linc is unimpressed because he knows it’s a replica.

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Matching dresses are awesome

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We stayed up waaaaaaay too late

And on that note, I am going to bed. The weekend was fun but exhausting and NO ONE has taken a real nap in more than a week. I need at least 6 hours of sleep in a row if I have any chance of functioning this week. Good night!

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Let’s Talk About Inner Thigh Rub

Wednesday, May 27th, 2015

My thighs rub together. Even when I was thin and did 10 hours of pilates a week and could wear crop tops with confidence my thighs still touched when I walked. My thighs will always touch because my skeleton is held together with muscles and tendons in such a way that my thighs do not have a gap between them. I’m absolutely fine with that.

LINC THIGHS

All-caps THIGHS run in our family, but Linc’s make a way cuter photo than mine do

But no matter how at peace I am with my thighs, the truth is when they rub together it hurts. If you don’t have that problem, it’s hard to explain just how painful and unpleasant inner thigh rub can be. SO unpleasant. Inner thigh rub is why you see women wearing jeans even when it’s 100 degrees outside. It’s why women wear ugly, unflattering shorts instead of cute skirts. It’s why I have to know BEFORE getting dressed if we’re going to be doing a lot of walking. Unplanned 5-mile stroll in inappropriate shoes? Meh. Unplanned 5-mile stroll in a dress with nothing underneath? AGONY.

You would think that because this is a fairly common problem it would be super easy to find a solution. There should be something foolproof, easy to buy,  and cheap that is sold right next to dresses and skirts at the store. I assume that isn’t the case because thigh rub is a “fat” person problem and just like plus sized clothes are harder to find, anyone whose thighs touch should similarly have to be inconvenienced to deal with it. Or maybe I just shop at the wrong stores. But I am here to SOLVE everyone’s inner thigh rub problems with a multitude of options.

In a loose order of least to most effective, I present Thigh Rub Solutions:

1. BodyGlide – This is the original stuff, the kind actual runners use for chafing. It’s…ok. But in my experience it rubs off long before I am done walking. It does work great on bras or sundress straps or other smaller body parts.

2. Monistat Soothing Care Chafing Relief Powder Gel – This is essentially BodyGlide for non-runners. It works medium well, but I still feel like I have to toss it in my purse and bring it with me in case it rubs off. It actually makes me feel thinner – I’m so carefree! My thighs don’t hurt at all! Look at me float! – so that’s a plus.

3. Assets (Fake Spanx) – These are the Target brand of official Spanx and they work about half as well as real Spanx when it comes to sucking everything in. They work well at stopping thigh rub, but since they do MORE than that they are not my favorite. They’re pretty hot and don’t have the access that Spanx do. (If you have never seen real Spanx, I will decode that for you: access = hole for peeing.) That means you have to peel them on then peel them off then peel them on again, which is unpleasant when you’re hot. ALSO, I had a pair that got a hole right in the thigh-rubbing area which meant one tiny section of my chubby thigh poked through and rubbed extra hard and it was 1000% worse than just regular thigh rub. Also, they’re the second most expensive option, right behind…

4. Spanx – If you want to look thinner, smoother and fancy, Spanx are the right choice. Spanx will suck you in and smooth you out and if you buy the long version they will stop thigh rub so well your thighs might actually stop touching all together.  If it’s 90 degrees out and you just want to wear a skirt to stay cool they are NOT the best choice. You cannot relax in Spanx. I can barely sit down in Spanx. Spanx are not breathable (despite the pee hole) and there is a pretty good chance wearing Spanx for several days in a row will give you a UTI. Save your Spanx for wedding receptions and high school reunions and don’t suffer all summer.

5. Jockey Skimmies Slipshorts – I actually have two different versions of these, the regular and the wicking. The wicking version doesn’t have seams right on the inner thigh, so they couldn’t split/cause irritation there, but I didn’t notice the seams on the regular pair either. They are the BEST solution I’ve found for thigh-rub. I wore a skirt to NYC for the New York Baby Show. We walked ALL day. It was warm. I wore Linc almost the entire time. But these were super comfortable, prevented any rubbing and didn’t give me a UTI. I only had to adjust a couple of times – mostly after going from sitting for a long time to standing – and they didn’t stretch out. They don’t suck anything in but they do smooth and make jersey fabric fall much more flatteringly (WordPress says that’s a word). I bought mine at JC Penny’s in person during a sale, so they were about $15 each, which seems like the right price point for something I’m going to wear ALL summer.

Alternative solution: Wear cute pants instead – I know this is not a real suggestion to solve the thigh rub problem in a skirt, but I really really want to tell you about these pants. The other day Evan’s young female bus driver told me I was “always dressed so nice”. Since I often get Evan off the bus in my slippers, I was a little baffled until I realized I had been wearing my new Old Navy pants almost every day. I am still not convinced they are not ridiculous looking and all my friends are lying to me, but they are wicked comfortable and nice and cool and dry quickly even if you walk into a lake to fetch your baby. I have them in black print and blue print and I’m going to buy them in plain black as well.

I assume everyone who wears skirts has their own solution to this problem; they just don’t really TALK about it. So feel free to share your miracle solutions in the comments so I can try them. In the meantime, I will be wearing my Skimmies, my possibly ridiculous pants and hanging out in the lake, where thigh rub doesn’t exist. Welcome Summer!

Non-disclosure disclosure: None of these are affiliate links, feel free to click through and buy or not buy whatever you want freely. I’m really just too lazy to bother.

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A Highly Scientific Classification Of Yoga Pants

Tuesday, February 10th, 2015

This classification system the result of many years of expert study. I have a Masters Degree in Yoga Pants.

Tier One: Fancy

These yoga pants are real pants. You can wear them to school pick up and Target without hesitation and may briefly consider wearing them to work/church/date night too. They are still black and have no holes or bleach stains. They fit without giving you a terrible muffin top and are not see through. When you wear these pants you are saying: “I appreciate both comfort and fashion. I may be a busy moden woman but I still make time to take care of myself!”

Tier Two: Acceptable

Your Tier Two yoga pants are probably from Old Navy. They still fit but might have fuzzies from where your thighs rub together or a small hole in the cuff. These are the pants you are mostly likely to wear if you were to actually do yoga. You wear them for running errands but only after thinking “Maybe I should put on some jeans” (you do not put on jeans). When you wear these pants you are saying: “I was just running in to this store for a second on my way to spin class because we were all out the organic mac and cheese cups.”

Tier Three: Poor

These yoga pants are reserved for at home days. They might technically be pajamas but no one can prove that. They are the pants you wore yesterday and are still wearing today. You only wear them with long shirts because they fall down a lot – not because you lost weight from all that yoga but because the elastic is all stretched out. They aren’t really black anymore. When you wear these pants you are saying: “I totally forgot we had ballet class this morning.  I was just going to clean the bathroom.”

Tier Four: Cannot Even

All your other pants are in the actual wash. Not the laundry – you pulled these out of the laundry – but soaking wet in the washing machine. Yes, you do know there’s a hole in the crotch and spaghetti sauce on the leg and they’re dragging on the ground. THANKS for point that out. But your kid told you ten minutes ago that tomorrow is 100 day at school so you have to go find 100 f**king beads or something because otherwise he’s going to insist on bringing 100 Legos and God knows those things aren’t cheap and no way are you letting him lose that one little grey piece he absolutely CANNOT finnish Batman’s spaceship without because then you will NEVER hear the END OF IT so how about you just let me worry about my pants until I can get home and open a bottle of wine??? When you wear these pants you are saying: “I HAVE GIVEN UP ON EVERYTHING DON’T TALK TO ME.”

Other Guidelines: Pants can be demoted but not promoted, although you can mend holes on seams to give Tier Two pants a fighting chance.

There is a subclass for maternity yoga pants, which begin at Tier One but are automatically moved to Tier Three at 2 weeks post partum.

You cannot own too many pairs of yoga pants.

 

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My Week(167) in iPhone Photos

Sunday, January 12th, 2014

A whole real week back at school with no delays and no snow days…and we’re all incredibly exhausted. Vacation spoiled me. Although I did manage to find the energy for some incredibly low impact shuffling at the gym. I’m paying for it today by not being able to sit/stand/walk correctly. This pregnancy is kind of kicking my ass already.

Sunday:

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Christmas boots she wears basically every day

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Father-son hockey game date

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Not sad she got left and home for Mommy cuddles

Monday:

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Crazy ass weather

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Singing to herself while I sign her up for ballet

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Princess Tiana/Winter Elf

Tuesday:

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I knit these out of buffalo fur. They’re insanely warm.

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I’m pretending we left that pumpkin on the steps FOR the squirrels, and it’s not still there because I can’t deal with shoveling it up and throwing it in the garden.

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Can’t sleep alone

Wednesday:

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No one else signed up, so we get private swim lessons #WINNING

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Fugitive Icee drinkers at Starbucks

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Their new favorite bedtime book

Thursday:

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He wanted me to take a picture of him standing on the “snow mountain” i.e. tiny lump of snow that didn’t melt in the rain

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I took my very attractive children to see Frozen, again.

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Sleeping with Elsa

Friday:

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Let it go, let it go!

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They dressed themselves, arranged this display and then requested I take a lot of pictures

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Also how I feel.

Saturday:

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Why did the one-legged wild turkey cross the road?

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The appropriate way to watch My Little Pony

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I was supposed to have these done last week but there are SO MANY good ones it’s taking me forever. Such gorgeous children.

I have two photo sessions to work on on Monday and one to shoot on Thursday. It’s definitely not as crazy as it was in the fall but I’m pretty thrilled to have clients even in the winter. I also realized I hardly ever take personal pictures anymore, so using my camera on my OWN kids is a goal for 2014.  And also to blog more, which I say every week but I’m failing. The difference between pregnant at 26 and pregnant at 31 is about 3 naps a day.

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Wordless Wednesday: Tiny Fashionista Edition

Wednesday, April 24th, 2013

Girl knows how to accessorize.

tiny fashion blogger

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tiny fashion blogger-4

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