Posts Tagged ‘life’

Then Someone Hands You A Baby

Friday, November 18th, 2016

A lot of people told me that once you have three kids, adding any more is basically no big deal. You’re already outnumbered and have been practicing zone defense for a while. You probably already drive a minivan. You’re used to multi-tasking while being perpetually tired. The bigger ones can help with the smaller ones.

Although all of those circumstances are true for me, going from 3 to 4 has not been easy. At all. I’m getting my ass kicked a little bit. There’s a Jim Gaffigan bit where he talks about having five kids: “Imagine you’re drowning. Then someone hands you a baby.” I feel like four kids might be the point where I’m still treading water but seriously wondering why the shore is so, so far away.

When I went from one to two, Evan was still a toddler with no commitments. If everyone was tired and wanted to sleep in, we all slept in. When he napped, she napped, and then I could nap. He ate basically nothing but goldfish crackers and cups of milk. We owned 243% fewer toys that could be spread out over the entire house. It was still hard, because taking care of kids is hard, but it wasn’t daunting. By the time I went from two to three, both Evan and Caroline were in school, so although I had to get them up and out the door every day once that was done I just had one newborn to keep alive which I could do entirely from the couch. Linc and I could handle errands or chores or work thanks to babywearing and an infant who started sleeping 8+ hours a night around 6 weeks.

Now I have both big kids who have to be dressed and fed and packed and put on the bus; a toddler who wakes up too early, is trying to give up his nap, needs to be fed a constant stream of pb&j sandwiches; and then I also have a helpless baby who isn’t much of a fan of sleeping.

Being a stay at home mom has always been a weird mix of always having way too much to do and long, boring periods of nothing. There is always something or someone who needs to be cleaned, so my work is never really done. There is so much laundry it feels almost comical – how can we own so many things that constantly need to be washed?! It’s so much mindless work. I can’t trust Linc alone with Finn for very long, so I’m not taking as many showers as I probably should be. (I don’t think he’d hurt him on purpose, but sometimes he gets the urge to just SQUEEZE HIS HEAD BECAUSE HE’S SOOOOO CUTE and doesn’t know that’s not a good idea.) I am currently serving as a 24 hour buffet for the baby, so having to feed everyone else too seems ridiculous. Can’t they all just feed themselves with food that magically appears in our kitchen? I used to love cooking, now it’s tedious. The level of being touched-out has reached new heights – Finn is a very cuddly baby, especially at 2 am, but Linc is also a very cuddly toddler. There are So. Many. Diapers.

I know in my head that this is all super temporary. We missed a lot of our favorite October stuff this year because I was too tired to wrangle everyone out of the house, but there will be 18 more Octobers where I have at least one child at home to do fun fall things with me. Right now I need to choose the less stressful option, maybe let myself be more lazy than I’m usually comfortable with, perhaps do just a little less for the holidays so I don’t end up freaking out completely. I’m hoping my friends and family can grant me some grace for not being as thoughtful and timely with their gifts and thank you notes and baked goods and holiday cards.

One day, in a future I can’t quite imagine yet, having four children will be totally normal for me. It won’t take me 30 minutes to get everyone settled just so I can go do laundry for 5 minutes. I won’t constantly run out of food because I forget how much 6 people eat. I will sleep more than 3 hours in a row and it might even be in my bed instead of on the couch. There’s even a chance I will go to Target and won’t lose ANY of my kids. For now, I will keep my head above water however I can and not pretend I’m doing it very well.

I can, however, occasionally force them into photos.

siblings-october-5

siblings-october-10

siblings-october-16

siblings-october-21

siblings-october-29

siblings-october-32

siblings-october-35

siblings-october-39

Related posts:

Get Those Photos Out Of Your Computer With Shutterfly Photo Story {Giveaway!}
Sponsored Post: Annedroids on Amazon
Just A Mommy

My Week(258) in iPhone Photos

Sunday, October 11th, 2015

Once again, I love fall. I also love staying home and not doing things for several hours a day while the big kids are at school. It’s a good balance.

Sunday:

sunday1

Pirates at the cider mill

sunday2

Pirates at the paddleboard rental place

sunday3

Tiny pirate at the ice cream stand sandbox

Monday:

monday1

I suspect the farmer actually paints these himself

monday2

Linc is very helpful while I’m editing #not

monday3

Wait. No. Stop. Come back.

Tuesday:

tuesday1

Applauding for The Price is Right because he’s a GOOD BABY

tuesday2

This corner of my house = a snapshot of our life

tuesday3

Yo ho ho and a bottle of milk

Wednesday:

wednesday1

Shopping cuddles

wednesday2

Brutus likes the new rug

wednesday3

This is not what I mean by babycakes, babycakes.

Thursday:

thursday1

Wait for new IDs is way more relaxing when someone else can walk the baby up and down the halls

thursday2

My bloggy thing at Boscovs was fun and delicious

thursday3

Linc loves headbands

Friday:

friday1

Yay SPORTS

friday2

Fridays, man.

friday3

FRIDAYS, MAN.

Saturday:

saturday1

Peewee soccer is adorable

saturday2

My assistants waving goodbye to a mini session

saturday3

Saturday mini session success, even with a nursing break in the middle.

So E was gone on an underway this month that ended up being twice as long as it should have been because of the hurricane. To apologize for the unnecessary sea time, work gave him a few days off, which means not only has he been home to help/enjoy all weekend, he gets Monday off too! That means a whole extra day of FALL FUN to do FALL FUN THINGS.

Related posts:

Life Lessons And Other Skills I Do Not Have
My Week(200!!) in iPhone Photos
My Week(290) in iPhone Photos

Finding New Roads – Meet Tiffany Joyce Photography {Sponsored by #ChevySalutes}

Tuesday, May 19th, 2015

Friends, meet Tiffany. She’s cool. She’s a photographer. She’s also a Navy wife who just arrived in beautiful Connecticut. Well, actually, she arrived just in time for the Endless Winter Of Snow And Despair, but somehow managed to stick it out until things improved and is now enjoying the absolutely PERFECT weather we New Englanders like to pretend we get 90% of the time. We’re very good at lying to ourselves.

#chevysalutes milspouse

(more…)

Related posts:

My Week(131) in iPhone Photos
My Week(211) in iPhone Photos
My Week(258) in iPhone Photos

Several Truths And One Big Lie About Mother’s Day

Tuesday, May 12th, 2015

I did not have an excellent Mother’s Day. I’m not saying that to make my family feel bad or shame anyone. I’m saying that because there’s a pretty good chance YOU didn’t have an excellent Mother’s Day either and I want you to know you’re not alone. Those perfect, smiling, happy families on Instagram and Twitter probably didn’t have flawless Mother’s Days either. They might have had a very nice day. A spectacular day. But it was not perfect – perfect is the lie. Kids – even kids big enough to understand the concept of Mother’s Day – don’t stop being kids just because it’s the second Sunday in May. Not once has saying “But it’s Mother’s Day!!” to a tantruming child solved the problem. They do not suddenly stop being tired or hungry or frustrated and pull a bouquet of flowers out from behind their back and say “Oh dear mother, I had simply forgotten! Shall I fetch you a coffee or a glass of wine?” If that is your life, Mother’s Day or not, I hate you.

The problem as I see it is that Mother’s Day is supposed to be Special and things that are supposed to be Special just lead to disappointment. That is why women become bridezillas about their One Special  Wedding Day and freak out that every single second doesn’t go according to plan. The pressure of that ONE DAY is just too much. Mother’s Day is the ONE DAY a year we are supposed to be indulged and pampered and appreciated above ALL the other days. Sleeping in and breakfast in bed and champagne brunch and a family picnic and a manicure and a relaxing nap and a romantic dinner date and a thoughtful gift and a homemade card and flowers and a bottle of wine. If you family really loves you, they will do all of that. Except no, they won’t. And even if you don’t really need them to…even if you try really really hard to keep your expectations super low…even if you say “I will be happy if all I get is a card the kids made at school”…it’s hard to stare into the face of social expectations and be OK with not having a perfect day.

I actually would have had a pretty good Sunday if it had just been a Sunday. I got to lie in bed for an extra hour. My husband picked up lunch for all of us. I got to buy and plant flowers with the kids. And we finished the day by having s’mores for dinner on the newly cleaned patio. But I also did laundry and dishes and changed diapers and made decisions (ugh, DECISIONS) and dealt with tantrums and took the kids with me to run errands and bought paper towels. I really didn’t want to have to buy paper towels on Mother’s Day.

Let me tell you what I really want for Mother’s Day. I want to be a dad on a regular Sunday. I’m making generalizations here for the sake of simplicity, but in my social circle moms are almost always the default parent; the one the kids go to first for everything no matter who is closer/more available at that moment. On Mother’s Day, I want to be the dad. The fun parent. I want to say “Everyone jump in the car, we’re getting ice cream!” and not worry about if it’s too close to dinner or if we need to stop at the grocery store later to pick up stuff for school lunch the next day. The fun parent pees alone. The fun parent has time to read a book or a magazine or the back of a cereal box without being interrupted. The fun parent doesn’t always have one ear open for children’s whines or screams or cries or problems or squabbles 24 hours a day. The fun parent says “We’re out of mustard” into the fridge and, magically, mustard appears 24 hours later.

And then MAYBE on Mother’s Day all of us default parents will get a card and a bouquet and a nap not because it’s our One Special Day but because the fun parent wants to do something to acknowledge being a mom is kind of a tough job.

But since I am not a monster, I did in fact enjoy many parts of my Mother’s Day. The big kids – Caroline especially – remembered it was Mother’s Day and reminded me constantly I was supposed to be having The Best Mother’s Day Ever. There were s’mores. And now whenever we sit on the front steps for the bus we can admire the flowers we planted, together.

mother's day resize

mother's day resize-3

mother's day resize-4

mother's day resize-5

mother's day resize-6

She said the plants needed love to grow.

mother's day resize-7

mother's day resize-9

mother's day resize-12

mother's day resize-13

mother's day resize-16

mother's day resize-18

mother's day resize-20

mother's day resize-23

mother's day resize-26

mother's day resize-28

mother's day resize-30

mother's day resize-31

mother's day resize-32

mother's day resize-33

mother's day resize-34

mother's day resize-35

Related posts:

Why Buy The Cow When You Can Get The Boobs For Free
Connecticut - As Much Fun As You Can Fit In One Weekend
Week(101) in iPhone Photos

My Week(225) in iPhone Photos

Sunday, February 22nd, 2015

The kids had Monday and Tuesday off school, which DIRECTLY coincided with E’s trip out of town. I did not enjoy that. It was also ridiculously cold. February is not my favorite.

Sunday:

sunday1

She said I was her sous chef because she was Top Chef

sunday2

He’s so helpful, trying to curl Caroline’s hair with a screwdriver.

sunday3

Lap nap baby

Monday:

monday1

OMG GIANT SNAKE…oh wait, it’s still fake

monday2

Hello whales!

monday3

Literally bouncing off the walls

Tuesday:

tuesday1

Hot mess babywearing

tuesday2

Helping with selfies

tuesday3

I put my baby down inside that Boppy. HOW DID HE GET OVER THERE?

Wednesday:

wednesday1

Fake it til you make it

wednesday2

Aparently today she is a Southern Belle

wednesday3

This is becoming a bit of a habit

Thursday:

thursday1

MIRACLES

thursday2

Unimpressed with his cute new hat OR his fancy Tula…because it was 2 degrees out

thursday3

My husband is good at appologizing

thursday4

I’m going back to Gymboree and buying that onesie in ever size

Friday:

friday1

Back nap! The BEST part of babywearing!

friday2

Princess crime scene

friday3

Gingerrrrrrrrs

Saturday:

saturday1

Big girl fancy soda

saturday2

Hashtag third child

saturday3

Oh you thought I was sleeping???? SURPRISE!

It was 41 degrees today. The kids and I all left the house without coats. But it’s going to be -11 tomorrow. At least there are no major snow storms in this week’s forecast? Maybe we’ll actually have a full week of school!! But knowing my luck, the second that happens will be the second Lincoln learns to crawl and I will never get a quiet moment again.

Related posts:

At Last
Michelob ULTRA Light Cider Review
My Week(312) in iPhone Photos
Get Adobe Flash player