Abnormal, maybe

Today I present a list of stuff that makes me anxious:

1. Wondering if I do every day things the “normal” way. Brushing my teeth, putting on mascara, folding laundry, sweeping, taking off my socks…do other people have better ways of doing these things?

2. Thinking about whether or not houses in commercials are ACTUAL HOUSES or just SETS MADE TO LOOK AT HOUSES. I think it’s probably about a 50/50 split but which ones are which??

3. The part of tv or radio interviews right at the end when the interviewer is wrapping it up and transitioning to the next part of the show. I always worry on behalf of both parties that something awkward will happen and they’ll end up talking over each other or the interviewee won’t get a chance to say “thanks for having me” in a gracious way. I actually SIGH WITH RELIEF when interviews end smoothly.

4. Parking. I have been a licensed driver for almost 13 years and yet I still get nervous EVERY TIME I have to park anywhere near another car. Also, I would rather park two miles away than turn right into a parking spot.

5. Wearing shorts. No explanation needed.

6. Watching movies/tv shows where all the characters (usually involving lots of men) look the same or reading books where all the names start with the same letter (Example movie: Lord of the Rings). Instead of just NOT WATCHING/READING them I get all sweaty palmed and confused and asking people around me “wait, who is that person related to? didn’t he just kill that other guy? or was that whats-his-name?”

7. Coming up with three more things for this list so I can have an even 10 because who does a “Top 7” list? That’s not even a thing! How can I publish a list with ONLY SEVEN THINGS?  But thinking about the first six items is giving me heart palpitations so I’m quitting now.

TUESDAY MORNING EDIT: I thought of more stuff! Because why read a nice book at 11 pm when you can instead anxiously make lists of more things that make you anxious and then worry so much you will forget them in the morning you can’t sleep?

8. Anything involving a telephone (answering calls, ordering food, calling the doctor’s office, making appointments, even calling my friends), but ESPECIALLY checking my voicemail. I get sort of nervous as soon as the phone starts to ring but the thought of letting the person calling leave a message that I then have to CHECK and maybe even RETURN THE CALL is just ridiculous. I would prefer all interaction take place over the internet.

9. Remembering specific incidents I handled badly at the time but later thought of just the thing I SHOULD have done/said. These are not usually recent incidents, but instead stuff that happened years ago, maybe in college or in high school. Something reminds me of that moment in my past and I spend ALL DAY replaying it in my head and worrying about whether or not the entire course of my life would be different if I had just said the RIGHT THING.

 

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18 Responses to “Abnormal, maybe”

  1. Krista says:

    #4 all the way. and parallel parking? Forget it.

  2. Rebecca says:

    I loved this! So funny, and so true! #1 and #2 are definitely my favorites, and I can completely relate!

  3. Sarah says:

    I am the same way with the phone – people who just call to chat baffle me! Email is the best invention ever. And I will only turn right into parking spaces, never left if I can possibly avoid it. Clearly, this is why we always park on opposite sides of the parking lot at the mall!

  4. Kelsey says:

    I FREQUENTLY change the channel when T.V. gets awkward, even if it’s on a show that I love. For the last few seasons of “Friends,” I frantically flipped back and forth so I could keep up with the story line but relieve myself of the Ross awkardness. Very stressful. (Remember the one where he gets stuck in leather pants in his girlfriend’s bathroom and tries to use baby powder and lotion to get out?)

  5. I think we are friends because we are the same kind of crazy. Except #7, I would think that was funny. And the house vs set thing I never thought about and will now drive me bonkers.

    The one other thing that I worry about constantly is when something bad happens or I snap at Spencer I always think Oh No! What if this is his first memory. Mine is of my mom yelling at me, so I am obsessed with what his first memory will be. Obsessed.

  6. Linny says:

    #4 is so completely me! I’ve never told anyone about my fear of turning right into a parking space before, and it makes me feel better to know that at least others have this same phobia. I think about #1 a lot, too.

    (Also, hi! This is my first comment though I’ve been reading for a while. I think you’re awesome!)

    • bebehblog says:

      Hi! Thanks for reading! And can you believe all these people who LIKE turning right? Crazy, all of them.

  7. molly says:

    It is SO not a coincidence that we are going to be roomies at blogher. God knew what he was doing when we “met.”

    OOOOH, #8 & #9, how I could have written those myself.

  8. elle says:

    NUMBER 8! OMG YES.

  9. Lisa says:

    I definitely relate to number 9. I still get anxious over memories from years ago where I did something embarassing or handled the situation poorly. I used to have trouble getting rid of these thoughts. The only thing which keeps me from dwelling too much on this stuff is to think of the scene in Harry Potter where Dumbledore pulls a memory from his brain like it is made of fiber. I imagine the memory is pulled from my mind or that it is a bubble and it floats out of my head and pops. After I visualize this, I can move on.

  10. Audrey says:

    I hate telephone interaction. Hate it. It’s only useful in making necessary appointments, otherwise it is something I could do without. I don’t want to chat for an hour or two with someone about their day/week on the phone. Write me an email, we could keep in contact more regularly that way and I don’t have to listen to you talk about your dentist appointment for 60 minutes of my life. We have an answering machine because seeing the blinking number and hearing an annoying beep beep beep is the only thing that reminds us to check for messages. And most of the time I won’t even pick up the phone until the message starts, because 98% of all incoming phone calls to our house are a wrong number or rather a right number but not the right number for the person they are taking to collections.

    And seriously..yesterday a police officer came to my house for the third or fourth time since we moved here asking if I was okay and everything is all right. Because there are bratty kids around here that use the pay phone across the road to make prank 911 calls and the address listed is MY house for some reason.

    I hate phones. Hate them.

    • bebehblog says:

      We finally gave up our house phone because all we got were telemarketing calls, but it means now when something REQUIRES my phone number I have to use my cell. It means every time my phone rings AT ALL I get all panicked and anxious that it is someone I don’t want to talk to (almost everyone) and not one of the 5 people I DO want to talk to – and even if it’s someone I WANT to talk to I worry they will need to talk for a long time and maybe I will have to interrupt them and they will get their feelings hurt and stop being my friend and OMG I HATE PHONES.

  11. Michelle says:

    #8 & #9 are so my life. I hate making phone calls, even for appointments. I’ve already forgone a mani/pedi so far because I just can’t do it. (you don’t want to see my toes!) Even going into conference calls for work gives me sweaty palms, and that’s when I’m at home and don’t have to talk much on the call! If I don’t recognize the # on the caller ID, then I don’t even answer it. Headed off a number of telemarketers that way, but I still end up talking to people that I actually give a damn about. The phone just makes me break out into a cold sweat and really, do I need multiple showers in a day?

    #9, well, random embarrassing things will pop into my head, completely unrelated to what I’m doing at the time. They’re usually related to high school or something, but it drives me nuts. Why can’t I just let it go, already? Why do I even need to remember that one little incident at the very beginning of freshman year of high school that no one (and I do mean NO ONE) else will even remember?! Sheesh… And people wonder why I’m so paranoid & neurotic all the time :)

    Just give me e-mail and IMs where I can think about what I’m saying and use the trusty “backspace” and “delete” buttons or just cancel it altogether if I really feel like I sound like I’m whining or an idiot. While “geek” is easily understood, sarcasm doesn’t exactly translate well enough.

  12. Miranda says:

    ditto the parking thing, except I do not want to turn left. Ever. Never ever ever. Unless the parking space is slanted, in which case, left isn’t so bad.

    And 9? Yes. I do that. I get all “wonder if I can just close my eyes and think really really hard and then butterfly effect myself backwards in time like Ashton Kutcher did except he ended up with nosebleeds and that one ending was WAY BAD and so maybe I don’t want to do that afterall.”

    Glad I’m not the only weirdo.

    • bebehblog says:

      HOW do you people turn right into parking spaces?!? That’s the side farthest away from the driver and it’s so hard to judge whether or not you’re going to clip the car next to you! Seriously, I can’t even imagine how you do it.

  13. Sarah-Anne says:

    ha. haha. haha! HAHA!! this is too fuuny. mostly because i’m in the same boat, haha!

  14. Kimberly says:

    8! 8! 8! And Hubby makes it worse because he’s awesome at the phone. He’s one of those people who calls random people to catch up every time he’s in the car. When my phone rings, my first thought is always, “why couldn’t they just text me?” I almost ALWAYS let it go to voice mail and text back if I can get away with it. There are literally three people I will call all on my own without them calling me first. And I never answer the home phone or check the answering machine. Never.

  15. Kendra says:

    Oh my gosh… 3, 6 and 8, I am SO with you!! Glad I’m not the only one!

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