I don’t know if I’ve ever said this out loud before but we are officially a no-nap household. Neither kid – the 3 and a half year old or the just-turned-2 year old – naps anymore. It a) SUCKS and b) isn’t so bad.

Back in November I took ALL the advice I got on my post about Caroline refusing to sleep if I gave her the iPad, which was the only way to get her upstairs and into nap-time mode without a fight. I tried putting a time limit on it, which was about as effective as just punching myself in the face. I tried just taking it away and letting her cry/play on her own, but she responded by murdering several library books and a stuffed rabbit. I tried lying down with her, which lead to being actually punched in the face.

None of it really helped and fighting about napping is even more exhausting than not napping – so I gave up. I let her win. We went from 3 hour naps to no naps, which also means Evan almost never gets a chance to nap on the couch or floor so there is NO SLEEPING in my house between the hours of 6:30 am and 7:30 pm.

(Well, unless I turn on some Mickey Mouse Club House and leave the snack drawer open and let the kids fend for themselves while I lie on the couch and periodically shout “Stop jumping on your sister! We do not ride Brutus like a small horse! No, markers do not go in your nose!” with my eyes closed. That’s not exactly restful, although it does save me from going totally insane at least once a week.)

Since they’re not napping anymore other than an occasional car nap between errands, bedtime is almost always cake. Delicious, quick, easy cake that involves me sitting on Caroline’s bed playing on my phone for 30 seconds before she passes out. Mornings are also pretty good, unless a certain ginger wakes me up at 5 am by staring at me silently until I jump up mumbling “OMG I’M UP WHO WHAT TACOS”.

I’ll also admit it’s sort of awesome not to schedule our day around naps. Blocking off 3 or 4 hours a day really put a cramp in our activities, especially in the winter when nothing is open until 10 am and it gets dark at 4 pm. OK kids, let’s go have fun for exactly 43 minutes before we have to head home for lunch and Caroline’s nappy nap! I now have the freedom to lounge around in my fleecy pants all morning, take a shower and noon and THEN drag the gingers out to the totally deserted (no seriously, we were the ONLY people there at noon on a Wednesday) Children’s Museum or to run errands or whatever.

On the “SUCKS” side of the no napping is everything else you would expect. Yesterday Evan fell asleep in the car in the 15 minutes between the museum and his super quick second flu shot (NOT EVEN A SHOT just the nose spray) appointment and he turned into a monster. Thrashing, screaming, throwing himself down in the parking lot, trying to kick me, trying to kick the nurse, shouting “I DON’T WANT A POKE!” etc etc someone please bring me a large bottle of wine etc forever. There are meltdowns. Sooooo many meltdowns. Not to mention the amount of TV the kids are watching some days. It’s disgusting. I’m ashamed. But not quite ashamed enough to cancel Disney Junior and declare us a screen-free household. Nope.

To sum up: I love my kids, I love spending time with them, and I am absolutely signing them both up for preschool over the summer.

p.s. New blog header!! I’m going for clean and modern, although I’ll probably go back to copious ginger photos in a few months. I can’t help myself.

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We are having nap problems, part of which is totally my own fault – but that doesn’t make it suck any less. A few weeks ago when Caroline started fighting naps, I let her pick which bed she slept in. Sometimes it was her bed, sometimes it was Evan’s bed, sometimes it was the guest bed, and sometimes it was my bed. One day she was up in my bedroom and found the iPad under the pillow. Since she was born in a world that has never been without iPads (OMG flying cars are totally next) she unlocked it, found her app folder and watched Mickey Mouse until she fell asleep. I heard her over the monitor and thought it was funny – “Ha ha ha what a clever baby, how cute that she’s watching her show! And also that nap was so easy!”

You can probably see where this is going. I let her get away with using the iPad before naps as long as she was going to bed with no complaints. It was just so eeeeeeasy to say “Naptime, Caroline!” and have her run happily upstairs and jump into bed to lie down. She never made a peep and would fall asleep really fast. Since it happened RIGHT at the same time Evan stopped napping altogether I just…didn’t have the energy to fight it. Trust me, letting technology put my kid to sleep is LOW on the scale of “Thing I Feel Guilty About As A Mother.”

So anyways, this system worked fine – GREAT even – for a while. But for the last few days she’s been spending longer and longer messing around with the Disney Junior app and less and less time actually sleeping. She does eventually fall asleep – around 3:30 – but then I have to wake her up after an hour so she’ll go back to sleep at bedtime. I thought maybe she was just getting to an age where she didn’t need a nap anymore but AHAHAHHA NO ABSOLUTELY NOT. We tried it on Wednesday and she was a wreck by 6:30. Giving her a bath was like trying to wash a rabid cat and twice as noisy. It took her a full day to recover from missing just one nap. But on the other hand, if she’s basically just going to watch TV all afternoon I could at least keep her downstairs where I can interact with her (or, you know, we could do puzzles or she and Evan can run in circles and try to ride the dog. Again).

I suppose the first thing I should do is just STOP letting her have the iPad, but I’m dreading the screaming. There is already a LOT of angry child in this house and this is one the few things we DON’T fight about. But the current system isn’t exactly working either and I’d rather work on changing it now then a month from now when it would be even harder to stop. Any suggestions for my totally, completely, ridiculously first world problem?

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Things I Have Tried To Get My Three Year Old To Sleep Later:

Shortened naps

Dropping naps

Feeding him more before bed

Feeding him less before bed

Letting him stay up later

Putting him to bed earlier

Telling him he can’t get up until the sun is up (but the damn sun comes up at 5:30)

Blackout shades

Doing LOTS AND LOTS of walking, playing, and running all day so he can barely keep his eyes open by 5 pm

….and right now as I type this he is totally passed out on the couch. It’s 11:50am. I heard from a couple people on Twitter that melatonin supplements can help with wacky sleep schedules but Dr. Google is split about 50-50 on whether or not that’s a good idea (WebMD votes no, LiveStrong and MayoClinic vote yes with caution). I should talk to the pediatrician before trying it, but I feel like an idiot calling and saying “I’m not disciplined to go to bed before midnight so I’m REALLY TIRED when my kid wakes up at 5 so how about them pills?”

But like any parent will tell you, having a kid who isn’t getting enough sleep is way more than just being a tired parent. He’s grumpy and emotional and irritable and has trouble controlling his impulses and can’t make up his mind so he refuses thing he actually wants and then cries because he doesn’t have them.

I feel sort of like a jerk complaining at all since on the scale of sleep problems this is not actually that bad. Even on his WORST nights he only gets up once or twice to ask for a drink and goes right back to bed. It’s the cumulative effect of not getting enough sleep enough days in a row that’s driving me bonkers.

Here’s my idea: everyone say “IT’S JUST A PHASE”. Because, yeah, but it will make me feel better.

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Attention! I have a very important, possibly life-changing announcement: You can let someone else watch your kids for a few hours and THEY WILL BE OK. Even during dinner time! Even during bed time! I have done some very scientific research in this area* and not only were they FINE, they both slept a full 12 hours and Evan woke up asking for her to come back and play. I am suddenly drunk with the power of babysitters – we could go see a movie in a theater! We could eat dinner at a restaurant without high chairs! We could get fancy dressed up and go to a ball! (No, really, the Navy loves to throw balls)(Insert balls joke here). But mostly I feel one bazillion percent better about leaving the kids with my parents next week.

*Scientific research = one evening out for a charity auction where E and his co-workers attempted to kill their livers.

Sunday:

Rearranging

My new view from the couch

Now I think we need a bigger couch

Monday:

Ok, we moved all the furniture. When does the organization fairy show up to clean up this mess?

Still hates shirts

Hanging a new family gallery

Tuesday:

Wheeeeeere's Evan?

The Bubble Guppies are stalking me

Sunshine

Wednesday:

Excited to be at gymnastics

Sitting like a big girl

Awwwwwwww

Thursday:

Eating her breakfast off the floor like a dog. Typical morning.

Somebody get those kids away from the escalator!

That looks...not comfortable

Friday:

Watching the birds

I love baking, really, but biscuits from a can are the BEST BISCUITS

The family that brushes together, avoids ridiculous dental costs together

Saturday:

Please Mom, I want some more

Checking out couches. E was not impressed.

The intended theme of the silent auction was a luau. The ACTUAL theme was alcoholism.

Today I had a much-needed spa appointment, although not the kind of relaxing appointment you’re probably thinking of. Much-needed because I’m going to be in a bathing suit all next week. So yeah, now that I’ve shared way TMI, I’m going to go watch a movie with my boys and eat hummus.

Did you take any camera phone photos this week? Link up with one or lots using the linky below and grab the code (so it shows on your blog too!) over at Amy’s . It’s really fun!

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Although my week here was fine, I spent a good part of it too wrapped up in being sad about a far-away-friend’s tragedy to focus on anything. Don’t let anyone tell you internet friendships aren’t as real as any other friendships.

Sunday:

Too bad he can't ACTUALLY make any donuts

I wonder where Evan is hiding? I can't fnd him!

Caroline's room makes me happy

Monday:

Hey Mom, he's sleeping. Got a Sharpie?

Practicing her "embarrassed teenager" face

Look Mommy! Baby thirsty!

 Tuesday:

Trying to get a Valentine playgroup photo

Caroline ditched the candy to eat an entire tub of watermelon

Hide & Seek at the yarn store

The train table at the library was trashed, so I, uh, HELPED the kids set up a new track. Or maybe I ignored them and did it all myself.

Wednesday:

New morning routine: let Evan play iPad for half an hour while I relax. It's like a snooze button for my kid.

Playing in the foam pit at gymnastics

OMG THIS BATH IS HOT

Thursday:

Couch nap for the boy who insists he doesn't need naps anymore

He also insists he doesn't need pajamas. Oh toddlers.

Friday:

Window shopping at the toy store

Broccoli? WTF Mom?

Trying to look angelic, right before he splashes half the water out of the tub

Saturday:

PEEK A BOO!

Caroline has decided she has a moral objection to shirts

I escaped to run errands alone and celebrated with the world's largest iced coffee

 Right now it looks like E is getting a 3-day weekend (although it’s the Navy, who the hell knows if that’ll actually happen) so hopefully it will be a good chance to recharge. We’ve got a DVR full of stuff we haven’t seen, tons of laundry to catch up on and a 3rd birthday party to attend. I hope your weekend is fun of family, friends and fun too!

Did you take any camera phone photos this week? Link up with one or lots using the linky below and grab the code (so it shows on your blog too!) over at Amy’s . It’s really fun!

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