Posts Tagged ‘E’

My Week(191) in iPhone Photos

Sunday, June 29th, 2014

I was going to say we did “nothing” this week, but apparently I am incorrect. We did nothing besides go to the beach and the aquarium and the grocery store and got ready for/attended Caroline’s dance recital. That was more than enough.

Sunday:

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Be quite! I am working on my puter!

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Traitor cat prefers my husband and doesn’t care if that hurts my feelings.

sunday3

Footie jams in summer: sighting #1

Monday:

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Outside swim lessons are exciting

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Our collection of Wendy’s kid meal clicky things is now very impressive

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Adorable sleeping hands

Tuesday:

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Beluga watching

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Obsessed with Friendly’s, like all good New England children

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Aunt Amy sent Caroline some costume jewelry. Caroline likes ALL of it.

Wednesday:

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He told me he was sailing to New York City

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There is so. much. sand. in my car.

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Dance recital finale practice is more fun for her than me

Thursday:

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Grocery shopping is cause for fancy dress

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Two of a kind

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Dress rehearsal (The routine was to Deep In The Heart of Texas, which starts “The stars at night, are big and bright…”)

Friday:

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8:30 am, lazy baby. (Footie jams #2)

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You’d think she’s never seen grapes before.

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Falling asleep on the couch is one of the best parts of summer (Footie jams #3)

Saturday:

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Baby prep day! Now we can spy on the children without missing The World Cup…

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We have one extra place to set the baby down (beside the borrowed rock’n’play and the free basket)…

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And I have drunk so much red raspberry tea I might actually turn pink. COME ON BEBEH!

This was one of those weeks where I really love living in Connecticut. The weather was gorgeous, we enjoyed the aquarium and the beach, and I was struck by how small/friendly/nice our community is. We ran into people we knew everywhere, which is a pleasant thing to happen when I’m always thinking “What would happen right now if my water broke?” Not that I would just abandon my children at the park with a friend, but the fact that there are friends AROUND would make going into labor at Target less mortifying.

Two more weeks (and 3 days BUT WHO’S COUNTING) until my due date and if my What To Expect app asks me one more time “Have you had the baby yet?” I’m going to set it on fire.

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My Week(190) in iPhone Photos

Sunday, June 22nd, 2014

Schooooooools out for summer! Good thing schools not out forever, or I would already be going insane. For now I’m planning to enjoy as much sleeping as possible.

Sunday:

sunday1

E is baffled why ANYONE would lie in the horrible, horrible sand, let alone someone who shares his DNA

sunday2

The weirdo that made him a father, celebrating Father’s Day at Chili’s.

sunday3

Wizards in training

Monday:

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Bed head

monday2

She insisted Baby Jesus needed to come to the post office with us

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The princess demanded a strawberry coolata. Princesses run on Dunkin.

Tuesday:

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Snacks in her chair are her new favorite.

tuesday2

Next year they will BOTH be getting on buses to go to school.

tuesday3

Monsters at the grocery store. MONSTERS.

Wednesday:

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Both kids wanted to give the afternoon driver a present. They’re going to miss her.

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Water slide party at Stay & Play!

wednesday3

Creepy baby watches you in the bath.

Thursday:

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Morning puppet shows

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Afternoon weridos in boxes

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Evening photo assistants

Friday:

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Stroller Strides in our AWESOME Cocoon X2. They love it.

friday2

Free Fanta Orange samples at BJ’s. You can see the crazy sugar high in her eyes.

friday3

MOAR MAGIC SPARKLERS

Saturday:

saturday1

I went to a (sad) estate sale where everything left in the house was for sale. I wish there was a way to go back in after the new owners fix it up, it’s going to be GORGEOUS.

saturday2

I bought a stool at the estate sale. They are insisting it is a table.

saturday3

Chugging her lemonade while refusing her dinner.

Tomorrow we start summer (outside!) swim lessons with the kids in two separate classes. Evan will be with bigger kids who I hope will challenge him. He’s the kind of kid who sees someone doing something cool and immediately wants to know how soon he can do it too.

Tomorrow I also start putting the nursery together FOR REAL because I cannot have a baby when I have NOWHERE to put it. And I would really like to have a baby ASAP. ¬†An outside baby would mean no more heartburn, which at this point is so bad I spend half the night staring at my bottle of Tums thinking “Oh, those kidney stones aren’t SO bad”. Plus after the actual getting-out part my pelvis wouldn’t hurt so much. You KNOW this is why nature makes the end of pregnancy so miserable – because it has to be BAD before you start hoping to push a watermelon out of your lady parts. I am ready for the watermelon.

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No One Puts Plus Size Maternity Photos On Pinterest

Monday, June 9th, 2014

While I was at Mom 2.0 at the beginning of May, I ended up in a bunch of photos. And since this is 2014, some of those photos ended up on Facebook. And because it’s Facebook, I ended up tagged, which meant all my friends – from my 4th grade classmates to the girl who lived on my floor in college to my mother’s second cousin who lives in Sweden – saw them.

I did not like it. They were not flattering. They were candid, and that is what I look like in candid photos, but they made me sad.

**insert literally 1000 words I wrote then deleted about how being fat sucks here**

You know what’s a huge waste of my time? Being sad about being fat while pregnant. I feel a compulsive need to mention my doctor is unconcerned – I don’t have high blood pressure or gestational diabetes or any other weight-related complications – so all my sadness is purely vanity-related right now.

I do a lot of maternity photo sessions and my clients are always GORGEOUS. Because that’s who wants maternity photos – people who look adorable even at 8 months pregnant. People who look like me spend 5 minutes on Pinterest and realize no lacy dress and oversized sun hat will ever change the size of their arms or shape of their face. But this is what I look like. This is what I look like right now while growing baby #3 and walking around in the world and there is nothing wrong with wanting photos of myself OR with showing those photos to other people.

It’s like that meme about how to get a bikini ready body: Buy a bikini, put it on your body. Done.

Here’s how to take plus size maternity photos. Be pregnant in front of a camera, get someone to press the shutter button. Done.

Plus-Size Maternity Photos

Plus-Size Maternity Photos

Plus-Size Maternity Photos

Plus-Size Maternity Photos

Plus-Size Maternity Photos

Plus-Size Maternity Photos

Plus Size Maternity Photos

Plus Size Maternity Photos

Plus-Size Maternity Photos

Plus-Size Maternity Photos

Plus-Size Maternity Photos

Plus Size Maternity Photos

Plus-Size Maternity Photos

I owe my husband a huge thanks for helping with these. He very patiently posed for all my pictures so I could adjust the manual camera settings and then I had to explain exactly what I wanted – “The sun should be shining behind us to make haze but not TOO much haze and don’t get the sun actually in the picture and try to get the focus point right on the kids and tell me if my bra is showing [it was ALWAYS showing] and does my arm look OK like this or should I hold it differently?” – and he did all of it standing in the buggy, snakey orchard without complaining. He doesn’t really understand WHY I wanted 400 photos of myself standing in an orchard, but he knew it was important so he helped. He’s a good guy.

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Wordless Wednesday: NYC Photo Edition

Wednesday, May 28th, 2014

Amy revived her Wordless Wednesday linky and I have all these pictures I never posted so it just seemed logical.

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My Week(186) in iPhone Photos

Sunday, May 25th, 2014

I’ve been doing these weekly posts since I was pregnant with Caroline. She’s now a fully functional human (well, unless you try to stop pushing her on the swings, then she is a hideous raging monster beast) and I’m only a few weeks away from another baby. If the entire internet self destructed tomorrow, these posts the things I’d be the saddest to lose.

Sunday:

sunday1

This was pretty much the only awesome stroller we DIDN’T take home from New York. It’s really awesome.

sunday2

Caroline made herself right at home.

sunday3

It was so great to have E with us in NYC for the first time.

Monday:

monday1

Reading Spiderman books to Doggy. Obviously.

monday2

Bubble machines are priceless. PRICELESS.

monday3

Someone is still exhausted from New York.

Tuesday:

tuesday1

She thinks the a/c vent is tiny stairs for tiny people.

tuesday2

Another Tuesday, another non-stress test

tuesday3

They can find their way around the hospital without me now.

Wednesday:

wednesday1

OFFICIALLY SUMMER

wednesday2

Weirdoes

wednesday3

Swam all the way to the deep end by herself

Thursday:

thursday1

How one child gets so many scrapes and bruises (and almost never mentions them) is beyond me

thursday2

Cute kid. Trashed house.

thursday3

Performing at the spring Science Fair. He knew all the words.

Friday:

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Enjoying her tiny rain-proof house at Stroller Strides

friday2

God bless iPads. Seriously. SERIOUSLY.

friday3

Well earned cheeseburgers after our appointment.

Saturday:

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I dunno, it’s a wall. I liked it.

saturday2

The best food in the world.

saturday3

Motherhood: when your nice relaxing bubble bath is ruined by this thing staring up at you.

I have too many things to do and not enough time to do them all, so I am mostly doing nothing. Besides editing pictures. That is both fun and able to be done while I sit on the couch and watch this Star Trek movie. Again. There’s a tribble! I love tribbles! Tomorrow I am making a pie, which should count as more than enough things for one pregnant lady to do in a weekend. Maybe I will make two pies, just to be sure someone besides me gets to eat some.

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