Posts Tagged ‘E’

Introducing: Baby Lincoln!

Monday, July 28th, 2014

Lincoln Scott Davis
July 23, 2014
12:52 am
9 lbs, 21.5 inches

annoucement

(Doesn’t that baby look like the baby model that came with the announcement? THAT’S MY ACTUAL BABY.)

Birth story disclaimer: It’s a birth story, read at your own risk. Also looooong.

I made it 6 days past my due date with my “oh you’ll definitely go early” baby, which was the longest 6 days of my life. It was actually more like the longest 3 weeks of my life, since I was thinking I was about to pop ANY SECOND since I hit 38 weeks. Literally every time I left the house I planned in my head what I would do when (not if) my water broke. I had started psyching myself up for having a baby in the car or in my bathroom or at Target because obviously once my water broke the baby would basically fall out, right? I mean, I was huge. There was a ton of water. It was my 3rd baby and things are supposed to go faster.

NOT QUITE. I had an induction scheduled and then canceled because it was “elective” and the maternity floor was too full. Luckily E’s schedule was pushed back a few days (again) so I wasn’t AS panicked but I was still HUGELY PREGNANT. People who are hugely pregnant don’t like to be told they have to remain hugely pregnant indefinitely.

But I did get the one thing I wanted: to experience my water breaking spontaneously, like in a movie. Oh no, my water broke! Must be time to head to the hospital! Look at that adorable little puddle!

LIES! All lies. I don’t recommend it.

On Tuesday morning I woke up to a gush and thought “Oh! So that’s what that feels like!” And then I sat up and water poured out of me like a river and thought “Oh man, this is kind of unpleasant.” And then I shoved the towel I was keeping next to the bed between my legs and tried to waddle to the bathroom, still leaking everywhere but now with contractions on top of it and thought “Nope nope nope nope”. I ended up using every spare towel we had to half-heartedly clean up fluid before taking a shower and just hoping most of it was done draining out. (It wasn’t. I went to the hospital with a hand towel in my pants. I threw it away.) If it had happened in public you wouldn’t be reading this right now because I would have willed the earth to open up and swallow me whole.

Once we got to the hospital nothing happened. I had a non-stress test scheduled for that morning anyway, so they put me on the monitors. I should have stayed home longer so I could eat and walk around and lie on my couch, but again, I was pretty much expecting the baby to FALL OUT so when we got there and I was at 2 cm I was both shocked and disappointed. Since my water was broken (they didn’t even check, the doctor said “Yeah, you had so much water if you said it broke I BELIEVE YOU”) they did want to keep me though. so I tried to get comfortable and just enjoy the last few hours with my inside baby.

birth 1

It was pretty boring. E and I played cribbage, just like we did when I was in labor with Evan. He beat me every time, just like when I was in labor with Evan. By the afternoon I was still mostly just sitting there, contracting but not super painfully, and they asked if I wanted to start pitocin. I told them that was fine but I would need the matching epidural. The very nice anesthesiologist came and stuck me with needles and then the magic epidural made me feel totally drunk and I was MUCH HAPPIER. It was exactly the right amount of numb, where I can move my legs and feet but feel no pain. I think I updated Facebook and made a bunch of jokes. It’s sort of a blur.

birth 2

For a while (OMINOUS DUM-DUM-DUM). Now that baby didn’t have a swimming pool to play in, he started playing with the cord instead and every couple of contractions the monitor would register a deceleration in his heart rate. A few times it dipped really low and I got a rush of nurses in to rearrange me and ask me to roll on one side or another. It was sort of stressful on everyone and I started to get pretty worried I’d end up with an emergency c-section, although when I mentioned that to my nurse she said I wasn’t even allowed to THINK that word.

They eventually found a spot on my right side where the baby’s heart was happy but it meant that my epi started to wear off on the left. A lady from anesthesiology came and hung a new bottle and gave me a bump, but warned us lying on one side meant the other side might always get less medicine. My left side hurt more. And more. And more. AND THEN A LOT REALLY A LOT IT REALLY REALLY HURT. Then the baby’s heart rate deceled again and they made me get up on my knees and hang over the bed and I realized I wasn’t numb AT ALL on the left and it was wearing off on the right and my epidural had officially failed and OMG HOW DO PEOPLE EVEN DO THIS WITHOUT MEDS?!?!?!

No, for real, it sucked. Snaps for anyone who does even 5 minutes of natural/pitocin labor.

E fed me a delicious Italian ice to distract me, but when I started to actually cry during a contraction my nurse decided to page anesthesiology again. The first nice doctor who put the epi in came up to check on it. He ripped all the tape off my back to check the needle and was getting ready to give me another bump when I heard him say “The pump isn’t on.”

YOU GUYS. THEY TURNED OFF MY EPIDURAL. The woman who hung up the new bottle NEVER TURNED IT ON, so I hadn’t had any meds in HOURS. And my pitocin was at a 16 (on a scale of 2 being “meh” and 20 being “WARNING: BABY MAY SHOOT OUT LIKE A CANON BALL”). They turned the pump back on. Literally 5 minutes later I was fine again.

I have no sense of time from when the epidural stopped working until I started thinking “Hey, there’s that pushy-feeling! I should get the nurse!” but it was probably around 11:30 pm when the doctor came in to check me. Unfortunately, my giant baby refused to move down into my pelvis AT ALL, so I was at -1 and only 9cm.  It looked like I was still HOURS away from delivering.

Not that much later I was still feeling REALLY REALLY PUSHY. It also sort of hurt and I could feeling the burning ring-of-fire thing people describe so I told the nurse again I was probably about to have a baby. She called the doctor back to check again…and again I was at -1 and not fully dialated. I was the laboring woman who cried wolf, but no matter WHAT the doctor said I know what pushing feels like. I KNOW. So when I got the pushy feeling I might have pushed a little.

Me to nurse: It still feels like I should push.
Nurse: Don’t push yet.
Me to nurse (totally pushing): Ok, I won’t. But it really feels like I want to.
Nurse: If you’re not fully dialated your cervix can get all swollen and labor can be harder.
Me to nurse: Right, of course, I know. I’m not pushing. (MORE PUSHING)

Literally FIVE MINUTES after the doctor said I was at -1 I grabbed my nurse and said very seriously “LOOK, I’M ABOUT TO HAVE THIS BABY. FOR REAL. CHECK ME.” So she called the doctor back.

Guess who was right? I went from a -1 to a +3 in less than 5 minutes. My secret pushing worked (or, you know, just like my other 2 births when I get to the end babies come flying out of me). Luckily my doctor was aware of my short pushing history and everyone moved fast.

Then everyone tried to tell me how to push and I ignored them because y’all, I got this part. Four pushes later I had a baby. Then E said “IT’S A BOY” and my only response was “…..REALLY?!” Then they gave me my baby boy and I was like “Of course you’re a boy, I knew that. I know you!”

I really love that part at the end when you get a baby.

birth 3

birth 4

And now I’m going to brag a little bit about maybe the weirdest thing anyone has ever bragged about – they took the baby to weigh him and said “Whoa, NINE POUNDS” and then the doctor (assistant doctor? midwife in training? Whatever, the chick that caught my baby under my doctor’s supervision) said “You didn’t tear at all! No stitches!” I’m pretty proud of my no stitches. I got up to pee like 10 minutes after I gave birth and it didn’t hurt.

E went and got the kids and my mom in the morning so they could meet their new brother. They were both excited…for about 2 minutes. Evan got bored because he didn’t do anything and Caroline just wanted to be the center of attention. She did a lot of dancing.

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The next day I entertained myself by taking pictures until we got to go home. For a minute.

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Just like his brother, Baby Linc ended up a little bit jaundiced. I dragged him all over creation trying to get blood work done on Saturday only to end up back in the hospital overnight. I’m not going to lie, that really sucked. I had a bad night staring at my baby under the lights (he loved them) and ended up asking the nursery to watch him so I could get a little sleep. It’s easier to mentally beat myself up for not doing MORE to force my newborn to eat and poop when I’m not quite so tired.

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But his numbers came up fast and now we’re home for good (fingers crossed).

And that is the LONGEST POST I’VE WRITTEN IN YEARS. If you finished it I probably owe you $14 and a drink for the time it took out of your life. Seriously, I can’t even bring myself to read it again for typos. But I had a baby 6 days ago so my brain is fried anyway. TOTALLY worth it.

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My Week(195) in iPhone Photos

Sunday, July 27th, 2014

THERE IS A BABY IN THIS WEEK’S PICTURES!

His name is Lincoln. He mostly sleeps. Real photos & a short, boringish birth story Monday sometime.

Sunday:

sunday1

Free tip: if the water is FULL of oyster shells, taking your shoes off is a poor choice.

sunday2

Skeptical of the lobster rolls. Probably switched at birth.

sunday3

Couch nap twinsies

Monday:

monday1

High jumper

monday2

Don’t tell her that’s not a horse.

monday3

You can almost see the ball under my giant belly (Last belly appearance!!)

Tuesday:

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This is what the sky looked like at 6 am when we went to the hospital because my water broke.

tuesday2

This is what my husband looked like while we waited ALL DAY for my labor to pick up.

tuesday3

This is what I looked like while I was HATING EVERYONE because my epidural stopped working.

Wednesday:

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Father of THREE

wednesday2

Beautiful day

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There are like 300 versions of this exact photo on my phone

Thursday:

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More sleeping

thursday2

She insisted on coming to pick us up

thursday3

Pink bouncy seat, Linc don’t care

Friday:

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Looking a little yellow

friday2

Napping with daddy in his fancy outfit

friday3

LOOK AT ME I’M STILL CUTE TOO WHAT’S ON MY FACE

Saturday:

saturday1

Doing the hokey pokey, because that really is what it’s all about.

saturday2

These are all gone now.

saturday3

He loved the lights. I did not love the hospital, but he loved the lights.

We’re home now and I’m going to bed. Hopefully my baby continues to be a champion sleeper for at least one more night so I can recover from the less-than-great nights.

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My Week(191) in iPhone Photos

Sunday, June 29th, 2014

I was going to say we did “nothing” this week, but apparently I am incorrect. We did nothing besides go to the beach and the aquarium and the grocery store and got ready for/attended Caroline’s dance recital. That was more than enough.

Sunday:

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Be quite! I am working on my puter!

sunday2

Traitor cat prefers my husband and doesn’t care if that hurts my feelings.

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Footie jams in summer: sighting #1

Monday:

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Outside swim lessons are exciting

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Our collection of Wendy’s kid meal clicky things is now very impressive

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Adorable sleeping hands

Tuesday:

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Beluga watching

tuesday2

Obsessed with Friendly’s, like all good New England children

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Aunt Amy sent Caroline some costume jewelry. Caroline likes ALL of it.

Wednesday:

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He told me he was sailing to New York City

wednesday2

There is so. much. sand. in my car.

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Dance recital finale practice is more fun for her than me

Thursday:

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Grocery shopping is cause for fancy dress

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Two of a kind

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Dress rehearsal (The routine was to Deep In The Heart of Texas, which starts “The stars at night, are big and bright…”)

Friday:

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8:30 am, lazy baby. (Footie jams #2)

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You’d think she’s never seen grapes before.

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Falling asleep on the couch is one of the best parts of summer (Footie jams #3)

Saturday:

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Baby prep day! Now we can spy on the children without missing The World Cup…

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We have one extra place to set the baby down (beside the borrowed rock’n’play and the free basket)…

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And I have drunk so much red raspberry tea I might actually turn pink. COME ON BEBEH!

This was one of those weeks where I really love living in Connecticut. The weather was gorgeous, we enjoyed the aquarium and the beach, and I was struck by how small/friendly/nice our community is. We ran into people we knew everywhere, which is a pleasant thing to happen when I’m always thinking “What would happen right now if my water broke?” Not that I would just abandon my children at the park with a friend, but the fact that there are friends AROUND would make going into labor at Target less mortifying.

Two more weeks (and 3 days BUT WHO’S COUNTING) until my due date and if my What To Expect app asks me one more time “Have you had the baby yet?” I’m going to set it on fire.

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My Week(190) in iPhone Photos

Sunday, June 22nd, 2014

Schooooooools out for summer! Good thing schools not out forever, or I would already be going insane. For now I’m planning to enjoy as much sleeping as possible.

Sunday:

sunday1

E is baffled why ANYONE would lie in the horrible, horrible sand, let alone someone who shares his DNA

sunday2

The weirdo that made him a father, celebrating Father’s Day at Chili’s.

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Wizards in training

Monday:

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Bed head

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She insisted Baby Jesus needed to come to the post office with us

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The princess demanded a strawberry coolata. Princesses run on Dunkin.

Tuesday:

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Snacks in her chair are her new favorite.

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Next year they will BOTH be getting on buses to go to school.

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Monsters at the grocery store. MONSTERS.

Wednesday:

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Both kids wanted to give the afternoon driver a present. They’re going to miss her.

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Water slide party at Stay & Play!

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Creepy baby watches you in the bath.

Thursday:

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Morning puppet shows

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Afternoon weridos in boxes

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Evening photo assistants

Friday:

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Stroller Strides in our AWESOME Cocoon X2. They love it.

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Free Fanta Orange samples at BJ’s. You can see the crazy sugar high in her eyes.

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MOAR MAGIC SPARKLERS

Saturday:

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I went to a (sad) estate sale where everything left in the house was for sale. I wish there was a way to go back in after the new owners fix it up, it’s going to be GORGEOUS.

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I bought a stool at the estate sale. They are insisting it is a table.

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Chugging her lemonade while refusing her dinner.

Tomorrow we start summer (outside!) swim lessons with the kids in two separate classes. Evan will be with bigger kids who I hope will challenge him. He’s the kind of kid who sees someone doing something cool and immediately wants to know how soon he can do it too.

Tomorrow I also start putting the nursery together FOR REAL because I cannot have a baby when I have NOWHERE to put it. And I would really like to have a baby ASAP.  An outside baby would mean no more heartburn, which at this point is so bad I spend half the night staring at my bottle of Tums thinking “Oh, those kidney stones aren’t SO bad”. Plus after the actual getting-out part my pelvis wouldn’t hurt so much. You KNOW this is why nature makes the end of pregnancy so miserable – because it has to be BAD before you start hoping to push a watermelon out of your lady parts. I am ready for the watermelon.

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No One Puts Plus Size Maternity Photos On Pinterest

Monday, June 9th, 2014

While I was at Mom 2.0 at the beginning of May, I ended up in a bunch of photos. And since this is 2014, some of those photos ended up on Facebook. And because it’s Facebook, I ended up tagged, which meant all my friends – from my 4th grade classmates to the girl who lived on my floor in college to my mother’s second cousin who lives in Sweden – saw them.

I did not like it. They were not flattering. They were candid, and that is what I look like in candid photos, but they made me sad.

**insert literally 1000 words I wrote then deleted about how being fat sucks here**

You know what’s a huge waste of my time? Being sad about being fat while pregnant. I feel a compulsive need to mention my doctor is unconcerned – I don’t have high blood pressure or gestational diabetes or any other weight-related complications – so all my sadness is purely vanity-related right now.

I do a lot of maternity photo sessions and my clients are always GORGEOUS. Because that’s who wants maternity photos – people who look adorable even at 8 months pregnant. People who look like me spend 5 minutes on Pinterest and realize no lacy dress and oversized sun hat will ever change the size of their arms or shape of their face. But this is what I look like. This is what I look like right now while growing baby #3 and walking around in the world and there is nothing wrong with wanting photos of myself OR with showing those photos to other people.

It’s like that meme about how to get a bikini ready body: Buy a bikini, put it on your body. Done.

Here’s how to take plus size maternity photos. Be pregnant in front of a camera, get someone to press the shutter button. Done.

Plus-Size Maternity Photos

Plus-Size Maternity Photos

Plus-Size Maternity Photos

Plus-Size Maternity Photos

Plus-Size Maternity Photos

Plus-Size Maternity Photos

Plus Size Maternity Photos

Plus Size Maternity Photos

Plus-Size Maternity Photos

Plus-Size Maternity Photos

Plus-Size Maternity Photos

Plus Size Maternity Photos

Plus-Size Maternity Photos

I owe my husband a huge thanks for helping with these. He very patiently posed for all my pictures so I could adjust the manual camera settings and then I had to explain exactly what I wanted – “The sun should be shining behind us to make haze but not TOO much haze and don’t get the sun actually in the picture and try to get the focus point right on the kids and tell me if my bra is showing [it was ALWAYS showing] and does my arm look OK like this or should I hold it differently?” – and he did all of it standing in the buggy, snakey orchard without complaining. He doesn’t really understand WHY I wanted 400 photos of myself standing in an orchard, but he knew it was important so he helped. He’s a good guy.

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