The Running of the Reluctant

I recently started running, what with it being so good for me and so many people talking about this great Couch to 5k program and maybe crying a little at that stupid coffee commercial where the mom holds her kindergarten aged daughter’s hand as she runs across the finish line of her first race. KNOCK IT OFF, COFFEE COMMERCIAL. I drink you to just barely make it through my day with 2 kids, not for your magic race-running properties.

It turns out I still feel the same way about running I did when I was 10 – I HATE it. Everything about it. I hate the stupid running sports bras that are supposed to keep me from giving myself 2 black eyes from all the bouncing. I hate the expensive running shoes that the guy at the running store made me buy in a giant clown-shoe size so my feet could “spread”. The whole point of running was to STOP things from spreading anymore than they already have. I hate the way my ankles and knees and legs feel when they hit the pavement. I hate breathing hard. I hate sweating. I hate planning out a route (even more now that the high school track behind my house is closed for renovations and I have to run on the dirty, uneven sidewalk). I hate running while pushing a stroller and stopping every 2 minutes to find out what the toddler is screaming about or try to convince the baby to lie down so she doesn’t flop around like a ragdoll. I hear that’s not so good for babies. If God had wanted humans to run more than absolutely necessary, he would send angry badgers to chase us. Or he wouldn’t have invented cars. Or grocery delivery.

But because so many of my friends – both real and interweb – are runners, I figured I should give it another shot. I downloaded the C25K app. I bought the fancy clown shoes. I strapped my boobs into a bra so tight it was in danger of pushing them through my back. I handed the kids over to my husband and told him I was going stroller-free and would be back in 40 minutes. And I ran. Every time the little bell dinged I took a deep breath and swung my arms and plowed through my discomfort. I didn’t give up. I finished the first day’s workout. And the second. Then a week. Then two weeks. It occurred to me that maybe, possibly, there was something to this running thing after all and maybe, possibly I could be the mom in the coffee commercial who finished a 5k with her proud family looking on.

Then I fell down.

Now I’m on the injured list. My foot hurts when I try to do more than limp my way through the clearance racks at Target (although thank God it feels well enough for that. Priorities, people) so I’ll be on couch-squashing duty for at least another week.

I kind of miss running.

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11 Responses to “The Running of the Reluctant”

  1. Other Erin says:

    I am a runner and even after 2+ years I have to force myself to get ready and go out. I hate getting changed and even when I’m dressed, outside and at my start point getting ready to turn on my watch I think “Gah, I effing hate this.” And when I get to my finish point I feel awesome.

    I don’t know if that helps or not.

  2. molly says:

    Well, look at you? Running and shit! That’s awesome.

    I hate running. LOATHE. My husband runs. He gets up at 4:45 a.m. to make sure he runs. He says he feels better afterward. I have a hard time believing that. When I run it feels like I am dying. Like maybe I’m running to the cemetary where I will be buried. But I can see where it might catch on after getting better at it.

    I’ve thought about the C25k. My sister swears that we could run a marathon if we tried. To that I say, P-sha! My lungs and legs aren’t built for that. I’m a wussypants.

  3. I am also a very reluctant runner! But it sucks less than anything else you have to do to burn that amount of calories!!! :) I run on the levy and luckily Reid really loves going so sometimes the toddler strapping himself into the stroller and screaming “OUTSIDE!!!” helps with the motivation thing :) Although he steals my headphones.

  4. Stephanie says:

    Your hilarious! Seriously, I can’t stop laughing at your prose and colorful description of running.
    I even like the fact that you HATE it. I honestly have been pregnant for 2 years straight, have some big weight to loose and literally did exactly what you have done. Went to the special shoe store and bought running shoes for my Barney Rubble feet, made a plan, avoided said plan, and have only managed to WALK for starters. But your inspiring me. Except, I live in CT and there are HILLS…big scarey, up and down and up again hills. UG ~ I am just a bit skerd to start running. A bit afraid that the girls (who are milk factories at the moment) will bounce so much they will end up making butter, HA ha.

    • bebehblog says:

      We like at the top of a hill. There is NO WAY to get home without going up it. I always time my runs so I’m doing the cooldown on the hill. And I planned out a route that’s as flat as possible, but I really really miss the track.

      • Stephanie says:

        We live at the highest point (literally there is a plaque in our backyard) in our town, and the down hill part is where I get my groove on, and then. . . I wanna quit because it is all uphill to get home. But I never thought of planning it so that cool down was walking and running was downhill. . . hmmm, maybe I could like running after all.

  5. Wait that was supposed to be @molly. I guess it doesn’t tier them anymore.

    • bebehblog says:

      My fault, I tried messing with something my fancy blog designer had already fixed. Hopefully they thread again now.

  6. Go you! I hate running. I hate it so much that I have never tried it unless being chased. I only like exercise that also involves reading a book or watching tv.

  7. cakeburnette says:

    Good for you! After 2 years, I still have trouble motivating myself to actually get out there and run, but I LOVELOVELOVE the way I feel afterwards. I just recently transitioned to running in the evenings, which has made all the difference in the world! I am actually looking forward to my runs…this week, anyway. I don’t personally have any running-bra problems (being that I’m not very busty), but I have friends who run wearing 2 sports bras to keep the girls from bouncing around so much. Which reminds me that I laughed out loud at Stephanie’s comment above!

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