I’m a week late, but in my defense I have four kids. That’s basically the reason for everything these days. Why does your hair look like that? Why is there a hole in your pants? Why are you eating corn chips for breakfast? Why can’t you remember to mail Christmas gifts? How come your Christmas tree looks like it’s losing a fight?

Four. Kids.

Sunday:

Christmas!!

I did not do this OR take this picture

Brothers

Monday:

Linc is obsessed with Octonauts

He also really likes my nativity

Tuesday:

Watching Octonauts

TBH we BOTH fell asleep face down on the couch

Gross weather

Wednesday:

Sleep smirking

We brush their hair and it STILL looks like that

Raise your hand if you are 3 months old

Thursday:

Pre-coffee tantrums are intolerable

Linc says these are Peso pajamas

I don’t even love them but this is REALLY good

Friday:

Skeptical of his hedgehog shirt

Perhaps rightly so

Piano lesson car selfie (why is it SO DARK at 5 pm??)

Saturday:

Horse drawn carriage ride in Mystic

Prettiest advent calendar I’ve ever had

Demanding more Octonauts

It feels like we – especially Linc – watch a lot of TV these days. But that’s because four kids. If there’s a chance Finn will sleep for an hour or two we are definitely staying home and I need them to not act like wild animals. TV is really the only way that happens. 6 months from now we’ll be at the lake every day again and they’ll forget what TV even looks like.

This was The Bad Week. I’m going to do the most recent week’s post tomorrow so I bump it down the page quickly. I still don’t want to talk about it.

Sunday:

Mini sessions day 2

Photographer life means ALL the throw blankets

I have the best clients. This had Boston cream in it.

Monday:

He was so excited about the fake oranges he needed real oranges

These are not outside shoes

Hates everything

Tuesday:

Nope, don’t want to talk about it

They’re having fun, I promise

Wednesday:

He’s OBSESSED

I “found” Everest, if by “found” you mean spent a crazy amount to replace the lost one

His hair makes me happy

Thursday:

D0N’T JUDGE ME I CAN BUY CHRISTMAS STUFF

More appropriate bus stop shoes

Her response to “Can I take a picture?”

Friday:

Kid Chess has very different rules than real chess

Always so judgy

A bin of baby clothes I haven’t seen in 6 years

Saturday:

Another gorgeous day at the seaport

Outdoor nursing in November

Very focused on stacking

I need at least 3 more weeks of outdoors weather before I’m fully ready to commit to my winter hibernation. Or at a minimum, it needs to not be frigid until after we get the Christmas tree and the lights up. IT’S SOON. SOOOOOOOON.

A lot of people told me that once you have three kids, adding any more is basically no big deal. You’re already outnumbered and have been practicing zone defense for a while. You probably already drive a minivan. You’re used to multi-tasking while being perpetually tired. The bigger ones can help with the smaller ones.

Although all of those circumstances are true for me, going from 3 to 4 has not been easy. At all. I’m getting my ass kicked a little bit. There’s a Jim Gaffigan bit where he talks about having five kids: “Imagine you’re drowning. Then someone hands you a baby.” I feel like four kids might be the point where I’m still treading water but seriously wondering why the shore is so, so far away.

When I went from one to two, Evan was still a toddler with no commitments. If everyone was tired and wanted to sleep in, we all slept in. When he napped, she napped, and then I could nap. He ate basically nothing but goldfish crackers and cups of milk. We owned 243% fewer toys that could be spread out over the entire house. It was still hard, because taking care of kids is hard, but it wasn’t daunting. By the time I went from two to three, both Evan and Caroline were in school, so although I had to get them up and out the door every day once that was done I just had one newborn to keep alive which I could do entirely from the couch. Linc and I could handle errands or chores or work thanks to babywearing and an infant who started sleeping 8+ hours a night around 6 weeks.

Now I have both big kids who have to be dressed and fed and packed and put on the bus; a toddler who wakes up too early, is trying to give up his nap, needs to be fed a constant stream of pb&j sandwiches; and then I also have a helpless baby who isn’t much of a fan of sleeping.

Being a stay at home mom has always been a weird mix of always having way too much to do and long, boring periods of nothing. There is always something or someone who needs to be cleaned, so my work is never really done. There is so much laundry it feels almost comical – how can we own so many things that constantly need to be washed?! It’s so much mindless work. I can’t trust Linc alone with Finn for very long, so I’m not taking as many showers as I probably should be. (I don’t think he’d hurt him on purpose, but sometimes he gets the urge to just SQUEEZE HIS HEAD BECAUSE HE’S SOOOOO CUTE and doesn’t know that’s not a good idea.) I am currently serving as a 24 hour buffet for the baby, so having to feed everyone else too seems ridiculous. Can’t they all just feed themselves with food that magically appears in our kitchen? I used to love cooking, now it’s tedious. The level of being touched-out has reached new heights – Finn is a very cuddly baby, especially at 2 am, but Linc is also a very cuddly toddler. There are So. Many. Diapers.

I know in my head that this is all super temporary. We missed a lot of our favorite October stuff this year because I was too tired to wrangle everyone out of the house, but there will be 18 more Octobers where I have at least one child at home to do fun fall things with me. Right now I need to choose the less stressful option, maybe let myself be more lazy than I’m usually comfortable with, perhaps do just a little less for the holidays so I don’t end up freaking out completely. I’m hoping my friends and family can grant me some grace for not being as thoughtful and timely with their gifts and thank you notes and baked goods and holiday cards.

One day, in a future I can’t quite imagine yet, having four children will be totally normal for me. It won’t take me 30 minutes to get everyone settled just so I can go do laundry for 5 minutes. I won’t constantly run out of food because I forget how much 6 people eat. I will sleep more than 3 hours in a row and it might even be in my bed instead of on the couch. There’s even a chance I will go to Target and won’t lose ANY of my kids. For now, I will keep my head above water however I can and not pretend I’m doing it very well.

I can, however, occasionally force them into photos.

This was two weeks ago. I keep failing at this “post more, in a more timely manner” way. But I finished my photography work this weekend – at least the shooting part, now I just have to edit – so hopefully I can catch up and finish the four posts I have in drafts. Although they’re all about how having 4 kids is hard, so maybe I’ll make it one post.

Sunday:

One of my favorite fall spots

Beautiful evening for a photo shoot

I came home to video games and no pants

Monday:

This is why I hardly blog

They’re obsessed with our Halloween decorations

I’m not crying, you’re crying

Tuesday:

Smirk captured by Lincoln

CHUBS

His hood has fox ears

Wednesday:

Portrait mode – cool, but lousy in low light

He fell asleep on me…

…but didn’t budge when I got up to make dinner

Thursday:

Shenanigans

Lap naps

Edit edit edit edit

Friday:

These are my favorite jammies

Hand me downs are her favorite

Movies in the car during piano lessons = game changer

Saturday:

SNACKS ARE HIS FAVORITE

End of soccer season reward

Pumpkin shopping

Oh look, I’m almost finished and now the baby is awake again. One day I will get a full hour of free time.

Finnegan is 2 months old!

(Lincoln: 2  Months, Caroline: 2 Months)

If tiny babies are good at one thing, it’s making you appreciate how easy tiny babies are when compared to toddlers. But since this isn’t a Lincoln update post, I’ll try to avoid talking just about him. But you guys, the Terrible Twos are in full swing. SO MUCH SWING.

Speaking of swings, Finnegan really loves his swing. He sleeps longer in it (like his sister did) and it calms him down even if he’s fussing. I’m a little afraid we’re going to create a monster who ONLY sleeps in his swing and never flat in a crib, but I also really like sleeping for more than 45 minutes at a time so for now he can swing as much as he wants. I’ve managed to leave the house without him FOUR times in the last week (all for work, because October is crazy for photographers, even photographers who aren’t really trying to work). He’s still so-so about taking a bottle but it’s not really negotiable for me. I need to be able to let someone else do baby-care for a few hours, for my own health and sanity. I’m averaging just under 5 hours of sleep a night, at least half of which is with the baby on me.

Baby Finn is wearing 3-6 month clothes almost all the time now, and I’m not buying anything smaller than 6-9 months. He’s enormous: 14 pounds, 8 oz at his 8 week check up, which puts him in the 90th percentile. I feel like he’s only going to get chubbier too, since the only energy his baby life currently requires is being awake enough to eat and poop and he’s mastered doing both of those in his sleep. He doesn’t hate the car or the store or going places, but he doesn’t seem to really enjoy anything yet. Besides snuggles. He enjoys snuggles. Lots and lots of snuggles.

He also liked sitting in this chair for his 2 month photos, which seems weird to me. Are 2 month olds even allowed to look so big? I don’t think so.

Likes: eating, sleeping, looking at things, his siblings, being warm

Dislikes: gas, pooping, bad dreams, having cold feet

2 Month Milestones 

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
Vocalizes: gurgles and coos – Sometimes, not a ton
Follows objects across field of vision – With a lot of head bobbling
Notices her hands – He started sucking on them, but hasn’t really “mastered” that
Holds head up for short periods – You can even see his neck!

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
Smiles, laughs – Lots of smiles, but nothing I’d call a laugh
Holds head at 45-degree angle – I’ve never understood this question
Makes smoother movements – There’s definitely less startling than as a newborn

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
Holds head steady – No, he’s a bobble head
Can bear weight on legs – Occasionally
Lifts head and shoulders when lying on tummy (mini-pushup) – Hahaha I’d have to put him on the floor to see this and I never put him on the floor. He’d get trampled.