Posts Tagged ‘siblings’

My Week(345) in iPhone Photos

Saturday, July 22nd, 2017

This is stupid. I’m literally more than a month behind and I should just quit doing this. But it feels unfair to quit before Finnegan turns 1 so I guess I’ll make that my goal even posting iPhone photos from a month ago feels ridiculous.

Sunday:

Linc keeps dumping his bubbles on the floor then wondering why he doesn’t have any more bubbles

We basically live here at this point

Important learning stuff

Monday:

Thrift shoppers

Trolls dance party on repeat

This is 1000% who Finn is as a person

Tuesday:

I was attacked by a baby covered in…I don’t remember what.

Tiny Padawan

Nervous about his audiology exam

Wednesday:

Normal

Waiting on our oil change

Peas in a pod

Thursday:

Not normal

Normal

Taking care of his doggy

Friday:

Last day of school concert

Summer haircut

Hey, remember when my bathroom had walls?

Saturday:

Good bye Connecticut

This is how I know we’re close to my parent’s house – the temple in DC

Water baby

Today is catch-up day. I’m going to doing blog stuff, photography stuff, and lots and lots of house stuff. Tomorrow we do nothing but fun stuff because Lincoln is turning THREE and he gets to pick. I’m guessing it’s lots of Octonauts and ice cream, which I am totally OK with.

 

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It’s Pregnancy Season And I’m Not Pregnant

Wednesday, July 19th, 2017

I’m at Target to pick up diapers and I’m pretty sure every other woman in the store is pregnant. I pass them everywhere: in the grocery aisle, in the baby clothes, wandering home decor. It’s 87 degrees with 95% humidity outside and all the pregnant women are wearing tank tops and pushing toddlers in their carts stocked with goldfish crackers and beach buckets and ice cream. To me, they are all glowing and adorable and lucky to have so much to look forward to. But I know they probably feel enormous and uncomfortable, cursing themselves for a summer pregnancy, crossing their fingers that their toddler will take a nap later (or at least eat their goldfish for lunch while zoned out in front of Disney Jr so mama can lie on the couch under a fan).

My last baby is almost a year old now. I am far enough removed from being a pregnant woman at Target that I silently think “enjoy those moments” but still close enough that I know better than to say it out loud. A woman is not going to suddenly realize being hot and swollen and sore and tired and nauseous are all such blessings just because a stranger says “it goes so fast” or “I miss those days”. I am close enough to being a pregnant woman at Target that I know that is not entirely true. I do not miss those days. I do not miss being hot and swollen and sore and tired and nauseous and wondering how, exactly, I was ever going to manage a newborn when I couldn’t manage to put on pants every day. Not only do I not want to a pregnant woman at Target, don’t actually want to be pregnant at all.

And I’m not. I will most likely never be pregnant again. (I would say NEVER with 100% certainty but I know better than to tempt fate like that.)

What I do miss is being in that season of life. It doesn’t matter if those pregnant women at Target are technically older or younger than I am in years. They’re still at the stage where they will have a newborn. That’s a stage before the one I am in. New life is in their future, the moment when they meet a new little human they created. I don’t long to be pregnant again, but I do feel nostalgic for that particular flavor of joy. It’s not baby fever – I am thoroughly immunized against that particular strain by four children who all insisted on growing up – but it’s like a bruise. You don’t really notice it until you bump into it by accident, in the checkout at Target, and then it’s a dull ache that says “you’re not in this club anymore”.

I suspect these feelings are just biology, but that doesn’t stop me from feeling them. So this is me acknowledging it, writing it down in words, trying to explain it to you so I can explain it to me. Instead of being sad, I will let myself drift further towards the stage of life where I become the person who says “Oh it goes by so fast, treasure these moments” to pregnant women in Target. I will recount stories about my newborns in absolutes: “Oh my baby was such a good sleeper” “oh my baby loved being swaddled “oh my baby hated tummy time”. I will forget how much being pregnant sucks and only think of it fondly. And when gray-haired grandmas at Target look at my four not-babies and say “Enjoy these moments, it goes so fast”, I will smile and nod and say “It sure does.”

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My Week(344) in iPhone Photos

Thursday, June 8th, 2017

Current mood: I’m not at Disney World so I don’t care about anything. This week is cold and stupid.

Sunday:

Cousins checking out the back yard

Cupcakes + lake = perfect

Sand is delicious too I guess

Monday:

This dog thinks it’s a cat

Caroline is going to be the card player in the family

Tuesday:

Baby on my back

Is it a door? Maybe it was?

We walked here. You can see Mohegan Sun casino on the right down the river. We live really close.

Wednesday:

New hair cut

New goggles

I think Evan might be a vampire?

Thursday:

Private lake morning

Family fun night

Good job Linc

Friday:

I feel the same about laundry Linc

Love youuuuuuu Cosmic Kids

Saturday:

Back at the salon

Purple hairs for Disney!

Evening playdate for the kids

Seriously, guys, it was FIFTY DEGREES yesterday. It’s June. I can’t handle this. I realize pretty soon it will be 95 and I’ll be wishing it was cooler again, but never do I want it to be 50 degrees in June. Next week when I’m in Florida and sweating my butt off I won’t even be mad.

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Life on Film

Tuesday, May 16th, 2017

I bought two new cameras recently. One is a new DSLR, the D750 I’ve wanted since the very first time I heard the term “full frame” and imagined maybe some day I would be good enough to justify such a large purchase. The other one was a Nikon N80 film photography body, an SLR camera released in 2000 that uses 35mm. I paid $26 for it on eBay after losing out on half a dozen other Nikon film cameras. The best part is I can use my good lenses on that cheap camera, so I can shoot at 1.4 or 1.8 and my film doesn’t all come out super dark.

I’ve been carrying both cameras around with me since they came. The D750 is everything I’ve ever dreamed of – fast, incredible in low light, super sharp, amazing with my favorite 35mm lens. It’s making me excited to shoot again, trying out how it does with all my lenses and getting used to the slight differences in button set-up from my last Nikon.

But the film camera has my heart. There is just something about that delayed gratification that makes me really treasure my film photos more than my digital. Which is funny, because even though I take the photos on film, when they’re developed and sent back to me they’re digital files. So it has less to do with the tangibility of the product and more to do with thinking of each frame as a valuable commodity – is this moment worth capturing? When I develop this roll will I want this picture on it? Does it go with all the other photos?

I’m making it sound more serious than it is. I’m trying to make sure my shots aren’t a disaster but I’ll still take a pic of the kids making funny faces or toes in the grass or someone twirling even though I’m pretty sure I will never take a twirling photo in focus. There is still SO MUCH I don’t know about film and honestly, I might never learn it all? But that’s ok. You don’t actually have to know everything about something to enjoy it. I like cooking, but I can’t make a turducken. I like knitting but still can’t do short rows. I really like money but who even knows how that stuff works?

My only goal is to be proud of my work, and thus, here is my whole first ever roll of Fuji 400H Pro (the film stock of fancy wedding photographers). I love them all, even the technically bad ones.

If you have an old film camera laying around somewhere, I am happy to answer questions that might help you start using it again!

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Tuesday, April 18th, 2017

I had absolutely no idea I was three weeks behind until I tried to find photos from last week. I guess that means spring is making time go by faster, which is good, because this winter was approximately 746 months long.

Sunday:

I bought GIANT yarn because it would be fast, but I still haven’t finished

Gnocci with garlic bread from one of the boxes

 

Last minute book report finishing

 Monday:

Happy baby

Me: Evan, are you ok with Linc sleeping on you? Evan: Thumbs up.

Hurricane Lincoln

Tuesday:

Letting the toddler get his own food so I can watch Jill’s Tuesday playdate

Sweetheart

Too cool for my filters

Wednesday:

Home Depot Helpers

Doing homework in the sunbeams

Evan was not interested in me today

Thursday:

He was so excited to be “uppa”

Mid-afternoon toddler crash

I don’t know why they’re yelling

Friday:

Linc’s chores include letting the dog in and dumping all his food on the floor

Tired boy

In case she forgets her name

Saturday:

Chubby baby arms

These tiny beads are a pain but they keep the kids super busy

SEIZE THE DAY

I think I lost a week because of spring break. It was a black hole of time, between my parents visiting and E’s work schedule changing and having all four kids to watch full time. It has made it very clear that my goal for the summer should be to make sure at least one kid is signed up for an activity every week. So far we have two Seaport camps, town day camp and VBS. Maybe I should look into farm camp for my horse and chicken obsessed daughter.

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