Today is another installment on my recent theme: parenting gets easier and you’re a good mom. YES your kid will eventually eat a vegetable. YES he will survive even on Goldfish and cheese slices. YES your kid will probably be fine even if he hates bottles and you can’t ever leave him for more than 2 hours at a time and you feel like you’ll be breastfeeding until he’s 12.

Evan had his four year well-child visit on Tuesday. The visit itself was kind of awful, with two children sobbing about their shots (despite the fact that only one child even GOT shots) but the information from the visit was great. Evan is 40.5 pounds and 41 inches tall, which puts him just below the 75th percentile and right on the curve he’s been on since his 2-year check up. They also calculated his BMI at 16, which a) does a 4 year old really need to know their BMI? and b) obviously doesn’t mean the same thing for a kid, since 16 falls in the “significantly underweight” category for adults and my kid is clearly not underweight. He’s as healthy as can be and impressed the pediatrician by saying his favorite food was apples. SO MANY APPLES.

It was a good check-up. As the doctor asked her questions I felt an overwhelming sense of “I got this. ” Despite the fact that it’s been almost three years since Evan fell of the growth curve I used to still get nervous when they pulled out the charts. Finally I feel like I can own our choices and our mistakes – when the doctor asked if I thought Evan’s speech was a little unclear I said it was probably because we relied on a sippy cup for too long but we had already switched to straws and I wasn’t worried. Then the doctor started asking ME for advice, since she has a 2 year old she’s struggling to get off sippy cups because he has been so reluctant to give up bottles and they finally found a sippy he liked and she doesn’t want him to stop drinking milk and she wasn’t sure what to do and did I like the take’n'toss cups as an alternative? (Yes.)

There’s nothing like seeing your pediatrician as just another mom struggling against the whim and will of a toddler to make you realize we’re all just doing the best we can as parents and things will be OK.  Of course, telling you things will be OK is not going to make you believe they will be OK, but try to  hold that knowledge deep inside. If you think there is something wrong, there might be something wrong and getting it checked out is the right choice. Always. But don’t feel guilty over every less-than-ideal-nutrition bite that crosses your kid’s lips. I wish I could go back and hug my previous self who thought she was doing everything wrong when it came to feeding my kid and show her 4 year old, 75th percentile Evan. He’s doing great, which means I am too.

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Yesterday I woke up at 8 am, alone in my room, because the sun was shining in my face. It’s been a long time since I had an “oh no why didn’t the baby wake me?” moment of panic, since one of the kids usually comes upstairs to wake me around 6:30. But we took the baby gate down this week; I don’t have any babies anymore. I hopped out of bed shouting “Evan? Caroline?” and immediately heard two sets of feet running up the stairs. The kids ran into the room holding graham crackers and grinning. “Hi Mom!” said Evan, “I took Caroline downstairs. We’re having graham crackers and playing iPad and I fed Brutus!”

I don’t want to jinx anything but I’m fairly sure four is my favorite. He’s understood directions for while but now he understand emotions. He can read me like a book (better than a book, since he can’t actually read) and will call me out when I’m not at my best. Nothing cuts quite like having a four year old ask “Are you having a bad day, Mom? Do you need a hug?” Gut-punch, every time. It’s even more amazing when he does it with Caroline – I scolded her for running away at the grocery store and he took her hand and said “It’s OK, baby baby, you’re my best friend.” If you ever wanted to see a grown woman cry in a grocery store, that would have been a good moment. Standing between the bread and the lightbulbs I realized my oldest baby was a whole kid.

There’s no going back with this growing up thing. I few weeks ago the thought of sending him to real school on a bus was ridiculous. Today it seems inevitable. Of course he’s going to get on a bus. He’s going to get on a bus this September for pre-K and next September for Kindergarten and a few more Septembers for high school and then he’ll be taking a bus to some tropical location for a week-long Spring Break trip where the only thing keeping him alive is my voice in his head saying “WISE CHOICES!” That’s what I think about when my sweet-faced ginger boy says “Mommy, I want to sit on you” when I’m “too busy” for sitting. My kid still wants to hang out with me. I’ve got to enjoy that while I still can.

Evan gets himself out of bed, he picks out clothes from socks to shirt, gets himself dressed, chooses his breakfast, helps decide the days activities, puts on his own shoes, feeds the dog, is a great helper when we grocery shop, tells me the numbers and letters on the signs, goes to the bathroom alone (and ditched the nighttime pull-ups a few weeks ago!), helps cook and clean, can walk alone on a sidewalk, holds his sister’s hand, shares his stuff, plays well with others, eats (pretty) well, talks about his feelings, sits in time out willingly when he’s naughty, wants to see the pictures I take in the camera, can go on long walks, tells me when he’s tired and wants to go to bed, sleeps in any bed with just a kiss goodnight and an “I love you”, and sleeps 10-11 hours straight. He’s a whole kid. I feel super lucky, since hopefully I’ll get at least 4 good years of this independent-but-loving-person before the worst of the tweenage stuff hits. I’d take 40 years of this, as long as “this” was just like this week.

“Go stand under that tree and I’ll take your picture!” I said on the way home from our evening walk. “No Mom, take a picture of me doing this! It’s a good picture!” said my big kid. And he was right.

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This will forever be know as Caroline’s Hat Period. She calls it her Easter Hat, even though her actual Easter Hat was a cheap purple plastic thing from the Target dollar section and this is a very nice classy well-made hat from a boutique in Mystic.

EASTER HAT.

This will also be known as the I Should Really Cut Her Bangs But I Can’t Bring Myself To Do It Because I Love Her Hair And Anyway She Doesn’t Want Me To period. And if nothing else, this girl knows what she wants. She wants SPARKLY SHOES. She wants to wear SOCKS. She wants a DRESS today and PANTS tomorrow. She wants YOGURT NOW NOW NOW. She wants to sit on me, pretty much all the time. She wants to swing and if she DOESN’T get to swing she wants to throw herself out of the stroller onto her head and then cry for two hours. She’s just SO VERY TWO.

When Caroline misses something or someone she says she’s “worry bout” them. She says “I worry bout Daddy, I worry bout Brutus, I worry bout you Mommy! You were away from me! I worry bout you!” I keep reassuring her she doesn’t have to worry about anything, but now I’M worried she’s going to be a natural worrier. Is she actually worrying? Or is it just an expression she picked up (probably from me)? She’s a baby, I don’t want her to actually worry about things for a long, long time.

Despite the…challenges of being two, Caroline is such an adorable, well-spoken child she is a delightful person to spend time with. Even when she’s running away from me in the mall she says “Hi! Bye! Scuse me!” to all the people she tries to plow over. That hat doesn’t hurt either – she’s like a tiny celebrity at this point, with people pointing and awwwwwww-ing at her in restaurants and stores. If you take her to the grocery store you will get no less than FIVE free pieces of cheese. I think the cuteness is to help make up for the absolutely bat-crap insane fits she throws.

She tried to go home with another family at gymnastics last week because they had a daughter and she says she NEEDS a sister. I tried to explain even if she had one, it would be a baby but she said babies aren’t as fun as sisters. Now you know.

Favorites include HAT, shoes, running, jumping, shouting, singing, Mickey Mouse, Veggie Tales, swinging, books, her brother, pets, Target, the aquarium, boats, messes, puddles, food, ice cream, the beach, throwing stuff, juice, iPads, building towers, horses, princess things, pictures of herself and flowers.

Dislikes include not getting her way, not swinging, the word “no”, getting yelled at and when anyone besides Mommy does stuff for her.

28 Month Milestones (OMG BabyCenter changed their milestone chart so it’s just a list! 28 is actually the same as 27, but from now on I’ll have to use Evan’s old milestone posts to see specific months)

Jumps with both feet – Yes, although she mostly does a funny half-skip
Opens doors – Yes, finally. Now nothing in the house is safe.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
Understands descriptions (e.g., big, soft) – She describes most things as “Caroline’s!” but I’m sure she understands lots of adjectives too.
Draws a vertical line – She really, really, really likes drawing circles.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
Starts to recognize ABCs – Ehhhhhhhhh. She’s pretty good at numbers?
Balances on one foot – She can even “pop” on one foot, if she says “Pop pop pop”.

Bonus 28 months video!

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I have a little person who lives in my house named Evan. He’s not a baby. He’s not a toddler. He’s not even very little. He’s a kid, and he’s kind of awesome. He picked out birthday cupcakes and helped bake and decorate them for his school friends today. He’s helping my dad set up the electric train set for his birthday on Saturday and being a very good listener when it comes to the teeny tiny screws and wheels and pieces. He also had a total meltdown at the aquarium yesterday because he was super tired and just wanted to go home and lie down for a little while. It was understandable, since that was hat I really wanted to do too. You’d think after four years I’d remember my kid was a little person more often, but I think I must have fallen into some sort of accelerated time warp since I’m pretty sure I actually gave birth yesterday.

Evan loves books and reading and going to the library to pick out MORE books. He loves trains and cars and trucks and diggers and every other boy-thing you can think of. Bugs! Dirt! Loud noises! He loves swimming and is really excited about going to the beach and the lake this summer. When we’re in the car he requests “rock and rolling music” most of the time, but his favorite CD is Beethoven’s Wig. Every time he does something funny or cute he yells “TAKE MY PICTURE MOMMY! CHEEEEESE!” He can work the iPad better than I can and always knows where my phone is, even if I lose it. Last week he finally earned his special reward (some sort of outer space blaster that shoot glow in the dark balls) for ditching his night time pull ups. As of today, he doesn’t use his much-loved sippy cups anymore because he is a big kid. He is so kind and generous and helpful and sensitive and I am so so lucky to be his mom.

I spent a large part of my week filling out paperwork and touring various preschool programs for next year.The only certainty at this point is he will probably be taking the bus. Which…whoa. My kid is almost old enough to ride a bus. Although he’s not quite old enough to answer these questions without looking around the room and choosing things he can actually see. Abstract concepts are hard when you’re only four.

All about Evan, Age Four

1. What is your favorite color? Blue
2. What is your favorite toy? Pirate Ships
3. Who is your best friend? You! and Caroline. She always jumps and flies.
4. What is your favorite TV show? RescueBots!
5. What is your favorite food? Pizza!
6. What is your favorite drink? Milk.
7. What is your favorite game? I like watching TV. *Me: That’s not a game* I like Sneaky Snacky Squirel. THAT’S my favorite game.
8. What is your favorite snack? Watermelon.
9. What is your favorite animal? Brutus!
10. What is your favorite song? I sing my own song BUH BUH BUH BOP! Like that!
11. What is your favorite book? Mike Mulligan. It broke.
12. What is your favorite dessert? Cupcakes!
13. What is a big boy thing you can do now? I don’t get any more baby cups!
14. Where do you go to school? I go to school with my best friends!
15. Where is your favorite place to go? Staying home with you! The aquarium! The seaport! The yarn store!
16. What would you like to do for your birthday? A choo choo train birthday party!
17. What do you love about yourself? Being four!
18. What is Daddy’s job? Go to work a lot.
19. What do you like to sleep with? My milk cup and my blankies.
20. What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to be Evan.

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Caroline is a delightful child, although she’s also what most polite people would call “strong willed”. I mostly call her “kind of a nightmare when she doesn’t get her way” but rarely to her face. She can go from lovely and smiling and laughing to screaming her head off in a matter of seconds. It’s pretty impressive, actually. She will ask so politely for a cup of juice and in the time it takes me to say “Of course honey!” and walk to the fridge she’ll start crying and thrashing and yelling “NO JUICE NO JUICE NOOOOOO JUICE!!!!!” Because obviously I’m trying to poison her. Of course as soon as I put the juice away she goes back to needing a cup of juice RIGHT THIS SECOND or she’s going to die of thirst. I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if her head spun fully around one of these days – I’ve got a young priest and an old priest on speed dial, just in case.

But hey, she’s 2 and a quarter. This is not unexpected. And truthfully, she’s easier to reason with than Evan was at this age, just because she’s so very verbal and understands so much. When she does something naughty she KNOWS it was naughty. Of course, sometimes she doesn’t care (ain’t nobody got time for that when you have a whole aisle of cereal to throw on the floor!) but she does sit nicely in time out without a fight. Actually, that might be because she doesn’t truly understand time outs, but we’re working on it.

Mostly she’s wonderful. Super cute, so very very smart, and up for almost anything. The fact that she doesn’t nap anymore is actually nice, since it means we can run errands in the afternoons instead of fighting over going to sleep. She’s going through a cuddly phase and isn’t very discriminating about who gets the cuddles – she’ll sit in anyone’s lap who holds still long enough. Caroline still don’t great at school and we’ve had exactly zero tears at drop off. I love it. She loves it. Best decision I’ve ever made.

Likes include snow, mud puddles, boots, splashing, books, funny faces, drawing, ponies, unicorns, Legos, singing, dancing, Bubble Guppies, Mickey Mouse, mermaids, sliding, climbing, gymnastics, eating, drinking Mommy’s water, talking, screaming, shouting, stomping, kitties, dogs, fish, pirates, money, cookies, and making any sort of mess at any time.

Dislikes include wearing coats, looking at the camera when I say “look at the camera!” and everything on the “likes” list depending on which way the wind is blowing.

27 Month Milestones (from BabyCenter, as usual)

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
Jumps with both feet – The better to stomp as LOUDLY AS POSSIBLE.
Opens doors – HA HA! Something she mostly can’t do! But only because she’s too short!

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
Understands descriptions (e.g., big, soft) – Sparkly, pink, rainbow, look a pony! Yes.
Draws a vertical line – Beautifully, but only on my walls.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
Starts to recognize ABCs – It’s hard to tell? She might just be a really good guesser and get lucky sometimes. But she will sing you the ABCs as long as you don’t mind the verse of Rock A Bye Baby in the middle.
Balances on one foot – She moved up to the off-the-ground balance beam all on her “own self” at gymnastics!

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