Dear Internet, please forgive the absolutely dismal quality of photos this week. Caroline was sick Monday and Tuesday, which overlapped with me being sick Tuesday through Saturday. I pretty much let the kids fend for themselves. The only thing we managed to do the second half of the week was swim class, and that’s only because the super warm, humid pool helped with my horrible hacking cough. Thank goodness I’m back to about 90% healthy and the house is back to the regular level of disaster instead of the kind where it looks like it’s been hit by a tornado.

Sunday:

A Lego set that comes with four sharks is an excellent set

FANCY HAIR for our photo shoot

The children barely fit with all those stupid balloons

Monday:

He knows I’m going to take it away

Trying to cheer up his sister

The super creepy turkey vultures are back

Tuesday:

Linc pulled her hair, then lay like this for 15 minutes to apologize

This cat is always judging me.

New earrings from RocksBox are A++

Wednesday:

Sure, do whatever, as long as I can monitor you from the couch

Pathetic

Linc is also judging me

Thursday:

Sharing toys with sick mommy

He went down for nap without nursing for the first time for me.

That drowned rat look is very nice

Friday:

World, please send help, I’m locked in this house with a useless mother

Thank goodness for naps

From the tap is better than from the tub

Saturday:

24 Sharpies is exactly what the baby needs

Caroline made a dreamcatcher at school, Linc decided it’s a hat

Linc also decided HE is a hat.

Hopefully, the last of this awful cough clears up soon and I can get back to just being normal pregnant levels of uncomfortable. That sounds delightful.

Surprise! Honestly, I would say I was also surprised to find out I was pregnant again but REALLY?! This is the fourth time – fifth if you count the chemical pregnancy right before Linc. I know how it happens. This is not that surprising.

It is a little bit surprising because I was using the lazy person’s birth control (breastfeeding) and hadn’t gotten my period back at all (sorry any dudes who happen to read this by accident) so it’s not like I was trying to get pregnant. I was just not NOT trying. The plan was always to give Linc a close sibling since it worked out so well for Evan and Caroline, but without a way to actually make that happen we just had our fingers crossed. I’m just very, very lucky. I’m very, very aware of that.

I realized I was pregnant at a game night with friends, when I drank half a glass of wine and immediately felt like throwing up. That is not at all my normal reaction to wine. I took a test that night when we got home and even though it wasn’t ideal testing conditions I got a super faint line. I woke up my (perhaps slightly drunk) husband to wave it in his face, but he swears his has no memory of that. The next day I tossed a digital test that said “PREGNANT” in his lap and that’s when he actually found out. I am not good at Big Gestures To Tell My Spouse. Not when I need him to immediately start handling all smelly house- and child-related issues.

I have what I think of as all the regular pregnacy symptoms – exhaustion, morning and evening sickness, constant peeing, sensitivity to smells, unexplained headaches I can’t take anything good for, pants that don’t fit. My face was breaking out like crazy for the first few weeks but it seems to be slightly better now. I spend every morning throwing up for 20 minutes but then I can usually power through until 3 or 4 pm when I have to start being careful to avoid triggers and then as long as I go to bed before 9 I’m mostly safe. Hopefully I’m almost past the morning sickness stage too and will get some of that good second trimester engergy, now that I’m in my second trimester.

Surprise again! I managed to not announce my pregnancy the second it happened, like I have previously done! I’m actually just slightly more than 14 weeks along, due at the end of August. This is the first time I’ve delayed talking about a pregnancy for so long, which felt a little weird. It started because I just didn’t want to announce at Christmas, then I didn’t want to announce until I had at least seen my OB but because I didn’t even call them until January my appointment wasn’t until the middle of the month. Then my standard screening test came back with some questionable results and I wanted all the information I could get before I opened myself up to every Facebook friend’s questions. Luckily the second, more accurate test came back normal and the ultrasound I had on Tuesday didn’t show anything concerning. I have another ultrasound at 19 weeks to triple check, but I feel reassured that things are as OK as you can ever say they are.Evan is SUPER excited. Caroline is excited about the idea of getting a sister. Linc doesn’t understand yet. Since I don’t want poor Caroline to spend the whole pregnancy thinking she’s getting a sister only to be disappointed at the hospital,

Evan is SUPER excited. Caroline is excited about the idea of getting a sister. Linc doesn’t understand yet. Since I don’t want poor Caroline to spend the whole pregnancy thinking she’s getting a sister only to be disappointed at the hospital, we’re going to find out what we’re having. Team Green was SUPER fun to do with Linc, but since this is mostly likely our last baby, having the next 5 months to purge baby clothes we won’t need is a good use of time. Just like I did a fancy announcement photo shoot, I have plans for a gender reveal photoshoots. It’s my LAST BABY. I want to do ALL the things. Imagine flower crowns and a sunset in my maternity photos.

Our families are very happy. My wonderful, fantastic, very understanding sister might have rearranged her wedding a tiny bit so I could still attend, which is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me. E has been great. Honestly, I think he also realizes this is probably the LAST BABY and has stepped up – doing the dishes, putting the kids to bed, volunteering to hold my hair while I throw up, bringing me the food I’m craving, letting me lie on the couch and wallow while he vacuums. It is making being pregnant while also having three children much easier.

I’ve heard adding a fourth barely matters in the grand scheme of things. We already have a minivan. I’m already staying home with a toddler, staying home with a toddler and a baby only means I’m more tired, not a real change in my schedule. Linc might have just weaned himself (literally yesterday) because my supply has dropped, so I get a little break before I have to nurse a newborn. And then I’ll get a NEW BABY to wear in all my wraps and my baby carriers and snuggle and take pictures of and love undyingly forever and ever. We already scheduled the summer out so we still get to do our beach vacation, lake membership, camp for the kids AND I can spend all of August lying in 18 inches of kiddie pool water in our backyard so I don’t have to wear clothes.

I know myself too well to make any blogging promises, but I have high hopes that now that I’m not keeping my pregnancy a secret I’ll have a lot more stuff to say. I might even do some pregnancy style posts, since this is my LAST BABY and I need very little stuff so I might treat myself to a few cute things that are meant for people actually growing humans instead of just mashing myself into XXL tanks and yoga pants. Although, like I said, I am due in August, and there is no pregnancy style in August. Especially when you don’t have air conditioning.

Isn’t it completely crazy that I started this blog in 2008 when I was newly pregnant with Evan and only a month after I reach the 8 year mark I’ll have my FOURTH baby? That’s a lot of babies and a lot of time to maintain a blog, even if it’s just a personal narrative at this point and not the amazingly popular money-making mommy blogging empire I imagined in the first few years.

And I am INCREDIBLY happy about all of it.

I am so lucky that as part of my photography business here in Connecticut I’ve gotten to meet both lots of wonderful people and lots of wonderful photographers. My favorite might be Tiffany Joyce, who is a fellow Navy wife and crazy talented photographer based in Mystic. She came over for coffee a few weeks ago so we could talk about Making a Murder and I ended up asking her if she was interested in doing some updated family photos for us. She’s normally a wedding and engagement and couples session girl, but was kind enough for make an exception for my crazy family. Caroline LOVES Tiffany, probably because she has long blonde hair like a princess.

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Tiffany is also the best because she agreed to go with my insane photo ideas, even though it was clear from the start they were NOT going to work out like they do on Pinterest. E joked we were definitely going to end up on Pinterest Fails, next to those Cookie Monster cupcakes. Honestly, I have no idea why I even thought it was possible for balloons to float straight up outdoors but she did her best and I love these photos too:

What?

CLOSER.

And their faces when they figured out what the balloons were about:

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That’s as good as it’s gonna get, folks, pack up this circus and go home.

But don’t you dare ask the baby to walk up the hill! I promise he’s as excited as it’s possible for a 19-month-old to be about something he has literally no understanding of. I promise actual details coming soon!

Find Tiffany on Facebook and Instagram and hire her to photograph your wedding. Do it.

We took the baby gate down this week, because it doesn’t have much use once the baby can climb over it. He’s almost climbed out of his crib the last two mornings and after nap on Monday. He can get things himself with the Get It Yourself stool, which is much more annoying than it is helpful. Caroline was sickly today and asked if I would go upstairs and get her Baby Jesus and I asked Linc if he could do it. He did. He also brought her favorite blanket down, covered her up and gave her a cuddle.

But Linc still doesn’t talk.

He had his 18 month check up last week (at 19 months) and the pediatrician referred us to Birth to 3 to have him evaluated. She said he should have at least a few words at this age, even if his receptive language and comprehension is very good. I’ve read differing opinions on whether or not signs count when it comes to language, but even if I include please (which he signs a lot) and all done (which he signs sometimes), his only other words are Dada and Dog. And even those basically sound the same. He won’t say anything on command and he doesn’t even try to repeat things if you say them to him. He mostly grunts.

Up until now his needs and wants have been simple enough that we’re able to guess them. If he leads you to the kitchen, he’s probably hungry and I can offer a few things until he picks one. If he’s crying, we can suggest a cuddle or ask if he has a booboo and he can communicate with head shakes or pointing. But he’s becoming an actual full human person with feelings that are deeper than hungry or tired, and it’s becoming very frustrating for all of us that he has no words to help. I know explaining his frustration with full sentences (“Mother dear, I am just SO famished and that sandwich you made me is not what I want. May I please have an orange instead?”) is not what ANYONE gets from their 19-month-old, but “Orange!” or “Milk!” or “Blankie!” would be nice. I would settle for “Yes” and “No” said with intent.

Evan was also pretty slow to talk, although he had a lot more signs at this age. Birth to 3 came out and did an evaluation and it was very reassuring, even though they ultimately decided he didn’t qualify for intervention. I’d much rather do that again and have them say “Nah, we think he’ll catch up on his own” or “Let’s not do anything yet but we’ll be back in 3 months to check again” or even “Yes, let’s get him into speech therapy” than do nothing at realize at his 2 year appointment that he STILL isn’t talking at all.

Plus maybe he’ll stop punching me in the face if he can just TELL me he hates me? Because that would honestly be better at this point. Oh, toddlers.

The weather this week was so up and down and up and down that I’m pretty sure it’s given me a horrible head cold. Which is just what I needed to start another busy week.

Sunday:

Friends at the seaport

Practicing her deck swabbing

Stole his sister’s soda and is being super casual about it

Monday:

Warm enough to venture outside

Dress up is his new favorite

This is very helpful while I am cooking

Tuesday:

I’m sure this is an artistic choice, but it looks like this wall is about to collapse

I spent $5 on this but I still don’t understand how it works

Tired baby

Wednesday:

Gross outside, tropical inside swim.

Very foggy day in Rhode Island

Jango Fett does ballet

Thursday:

I think Evan’s face is more accurate

He found where the cat sleeps

I dumped out my purse and this is what was in it.

Friday:

Really pissed I woke him up

I did this.

BABY CUDDLESSSSSSSS

Saturday:

Coolest kids on the block

The aquarium is still our favorite

It’s a literally Shark Tank

I was going to watch the Oscars tonight but it seems like taking something for my headache and going to bed at 9 pm is a better idea. Because it turns out that Monday is still going to happen tomorrow and I have to get these kids up and fed and pack their lunches even if I don’t feel great. It’s total bullshit.

This week I also need to start getting our summer schedule sorted out, since it’s almost March and I’m already getting second reminder registration forms. WHAT KIND OF MOTHER AM I EVEN?! How come I don’t know where my kids will be the first week of August?! What am I planning to do, just let them stay HOME and watch TV??? They’ll never get into college.