Last year, Evan really wanted to do Harry Potter costumes for Halloween, but he was outvoted by everyone else who wanted to do The Greatest Showman. I have no regrets about that because those costumes were amazing. I let him do a mini photoshoot in our neighborhood, but didn’t throw myself into it the way I did with our real costumes.

This year, everyone was all in on Harry Potter, although after we made a list of character options, no one actually wanted to be Harry Potter himself. Evan and Caroline wanted to be Weasleys (Ron and Ginny), Lincoln chose Malfoy because he wanted to be mean to his siblings in character, and Finnegan was convinced to be Dobby. I decided I wasn’t dying my hair red again this year, so Mrs. Weasley was off the table, but Professor McGonagall would be perfect. We even convinced E that he should participate in our pictures although he wouldn’t be here for trick or treating. He refused the following costumes: Snape, Prof Quirrell, Hagrid, Dumbledore, Mr. Weasley and anything that required makeup. He settled on being a Death Eater, although now I might be questioning whether or not he’s a good person. Just a little bit.

Because I am nothing if not extra, I decided that not only would we each be an HP character, we were also going to make as many props as possible so we could turn our minivan into Hogwarts for the town Trunk or Treat.

I’ll have details on Hogwarts later, but the rundown on our costumes is at the bottom of the page. I won’t make you read all that before you get to the pictures.

Finnegan (Dobby) – I made the ears and tea towel outfit from fabric store supplies. It took two tries to get the hat right, but it wasn’t that bad.

Lincoln (Draco Malfoy) – Robe is this year’s Target robe, white shirt is H&M, sweater was already in his closet, black dress pants are Walmart, shoes are from last year’s costume.

Caroline (Ginny Weasley) – robe is borrowed from a friend but the label says it’s Rubies Costumes *I don’t think it’s the same as the one currently on Amazon, based on the reviews*, shirt was from Goodwill, sweater from Old Navy, skirt is French Toast from Amazon, socks are from Amazon, shoes were already in her closet.

Evan (Ron Weasley) – Robe is last year’s from Target, white shirt is from last year’s costume, sweater was already in his closet, black pants are from Walmart, shoes were already in his closet.

All the ties came from Amazon, but they were adult-sized so I shortened and hemmed them.

E (Death Eater) – Robe is from Amazon, plain white mask was purchased on Amazon but I decorated it with hot glue and paint, everything else he already owned. Tattoo is fake and also from Amazon.

Suzanne (Prof McGonagall) – I made the robe with cheap fabric from the fabric store and lined the sleeves with Deathly Hallows fabric. Hat is from Amazon, decorated with fabric store feathers and a button I had in my button box. The brooch, shirt, skirt, and boots are all from Goodwill.

I made all the wands with chopsticks from Amazon, hot glue, and paint. I got the idea from this tutorial and it was VERY fun to make them.

Props: Scabbers the rat is from Amazon, the spider is part of our Halloween decorations, and we made baby madrakes out of tin foil, homemade clay and craft store supplies. Tom Riddle’s diary is from Amazon and the cauldron is from CVS.

We took the pics at Trinity College in Hartford, CT. Notable alumni include a bunch of governors, CEO of the Boston Red Sock, and the founders of Tom’s of Maine, Momofuku and Shake Shack. Non-notable alumni include lacross stick in a bowtie Tucker Carlson. It’s about 40 minutes from our house, but it was totally worth the drive because it was gorgeous and a pretty good stand-in for Hogwarts.

(exact links coming soon)

There you go, our family Harry Potter Halloween Costumes for 2019! Three years in a row makes this a pretty definitive tradition now, so if anyone has suggestions for next year I’m open to them. I don’t think I have very many years left where Evan will agree to be anything besides a Fortnite character or a scary mask, so I’m going to keep being as extra as possible while I can.

I read an incredibly interesting article the other day that analyzed the photos Melania Trump has posted publicly on her Twitter account.

(No this isn’t a political post. Yes, the article was pretty critical of Melania. Yes, I agreed with it. No, I don’t want to have a political discussion here.)

If you look beyond the actual subject of that post, the idea of learning how someone sees the world from how they capture it is fascinating. Even if you don’t think of yourself as a photographer, any time you stop long enough to take a picture you’re saying “This is how I see things, this is a moment I want to be preserved, this is my reality as I want it to be presented.” In this era of social media, photos are even more performative – you can crop or filter so your friends (or strangers) can see what you want them to see. You are making a lot of choices, whether they are conscious or not, and looking at those choices can be eye-opening.

Because I’ve been doing a 365 photo-a-day project for three years now, I have hundreds of everyday life photos to look at and analyze for patterns. Once I started thinking about my pictures (many of them not more than snapshots) as a body of work versus just individual photos, it became super clear that my photographic eye says a lot about what I value, what I want the world to see, and what I want to remember.

The most obvious fact about my photos is they are almost all of my children. I almost never photograph myself. I could make a list of my excuses for that, or I could look at it more analytically. My appearance in the photographic record isn’t a priority for me. I don’t want to remember what I looked like during these years. My body doesn’t need to take up space in the frame. It’s incredibly important to me that I witness my children’s lives, but not necessarily as a participant in their activities. This feels both sort of uncomfortable for me (I don’t want to be distant or emotionally separate) and accurate (I’m much more free-range than helicopter mom).  Also, from a practical standpoint, my live as a stay-at-home-mom revolves around my children, so obviously my work shows that.

The next pattern I saw right away is my love of capturing a small body in a big frame. I’ve chosen my equipment (mostly a 35mm lens) so I can focus on my subject while also including a lot of their environment.

When I think about how I framed these photos, I intentionally avoided other people in the frame (unless they were also my children) to make my subject stand out. I didn’t try to blur or compress the environment to the point where you couldn’t identify it – WHERE is an important part of the story. I took photos like these in every season, at home and away, with my subject aware of me and not. Children are small and the world is big. I want my kids to be confident and bold when faced with big things, unafraid of the world, so they remain the focus even though the environment could overpower them.

Another fairly obvious trend in my pictures is that I center my subjects.

There they are, right in the middle of the frame. The main focus. There is balance in this composition, and something very calming about a photo that tells you exactly what it’s about. It’s easy. When I think about these photos, I often took them during challenging times, when I didn’t have the energy to devote to seeing something artistic or unusual. Simplicity is something I often value.

Something I was actually surprised to see was my love of taking a photo from behind my subject. I think of my work as being full of faces, so I wasn’t expecting so many of these.

These photos are about seeing what my children see, looking at the world from their point of view. I often crouch down, sit on the floor, get low so I can capture their perspective. I want to learn about what catches their eye, what THEY view as important or noteworthy. I’m following along as they direct the show, ready to be supportive but not interferring. Without the emotion of their face, you have to infer feeling from their body language. When you’re raising kids, this feels true in everyday life as well; they often don’t – or can’t – tell you what they’re feeling, so you’re left to interpret what they need.

Something there is slightly less of but still often featured is taking photos of small pieces of my small people.

Fingers, toes, hair, eyes, hands. I love them. They are soft and unlined, a perfect example of how children are unbothered by the realities of life or age. The same way an elderly person’s hand speak to their lived experience, a child’s hands show innocence. Their eyes are clear and open, unguarded. They also are little pieces of where they come from – Caroline’s red hair comes from her father, Linc’s blue eyes are from me. These photos are more personal than any of the others. I do have to be physically close my children to take them, even if the small bodies are in motion and I have to be quick. They capture something so very fleeting – the split second before those feet grow bigger, run faster, carry the children away.

And finally, my neverending love of taking pictures of my kids while they sleep.

The sleeping photos fall into almost all of the previous categories – sometimes up close, sometimes lots of environment, etc – but I took them because of the sleeping so it deserved its own analysis. Children are loud and busy, capturing them at their most quiet and still is a treasure. While they are vulnerable, I watch over them. They feel safe in their home and with their family, which is why they so often fall asleep in places other than their own beds. Our home is comfortable, even if it’s not always magazine-worthy, with plenty of places to take a nap when you need it.

I really loved this exercise for myself, even if putting my emotions and inner thoughts into words was difficult. I appreciate my photographs more and I’m thrilled this record will exist (as a reminder, print your photos! I have both 2015 and 2016 books as hard copies of many of these, the rest are from 2017 and will go in a book in January).

Are there any trends you can recognize in your own photographic record? Go look at your Instagram feed or Facebook photos and see if there are patterns or constants that emerge. Or you can take some of this analysis and use it to inspire your own pictures. I’m definitely going to make an effort to take at least one self-portrait this spring.

I am so lucky that as part of my photography business here in Connecticut I’ve gotten to meet both lots of wonderful people and lots of wonderful photographers. My favorite might be Tiffany Joyce, who is a fellow Navy wife and crazy talented photographer based in Mystic. She came over for coffee a few weeks ago so we could talk about Making a Murder and I ended up asking her if she was interested in doing some updated family photos for us. She’s normally a wedding and engagement and couples session girl, but was kind enough for make an exception for my crazy family. Caroline LOVES Tiffany, probably because she has long blonde hair like a princess.

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Tiffany is also the best because she agreed to go with my insane photo ideas, even though it was clear from the start they were NOT going to work out like they do on Pinterest. E joked we were definitely going to end up on Pinterest Fails, next to those Cookie Monster cupcakes. Honestly, I have no idea why I even thought it was possible for balloons to float straight up outdoors but she did her best and I love these photos too:

What?

CLOSER.

And their faces when they figured out what the balloons were about:

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That’s as good as it’s gonna get, folks, pack up this circus and go home.

But don’t you dare ask the baby to walk up the hill! I promise he’s as excited as it’s possible for a 19-month-old to be about something he has literally no understanding of. I promise actual details coming soon!

Find Tiffany on Facebook and Instagram and hire her to photograph your wedding. Do it.