Surprise! Honestly, I would say I was also surprised to find out I was pregnant again but REALLY?! This is the fourth time – fifth if you count the chemical pregnancy right before Linc. I know how it happens. This is not that surprising.

It is a little bit surprising because I was using the lazy person’s birth control (breastfeeding) and hadn’t gotten my period back at all (sorry any dudes who happen to read this by accident) so it’s not like I was trying to get pregnant. I was just not NOT trying. The plan was always to give Linc a close sibling since it worked out so well for Evan and Caroline, but without a way to actually make that happen we just had our fingers crossed. I’m just very, very lucky. I’m very, very aware of that.

I realized I was pregnant at a game night with friends, when I drank half a glass of wine and immediately felt like throwing up. That is not at all my normal reaction to wine. I took a test that night when we got home and even though it wasn’t ideal testing conditions I got a super faint line. I woke up my (perhaps slightly drunk) husband to wave it in his face, but he swears his has no memory of that. The next day I tossed a digital test that said “PREGNANT” in his lap and that’s when he actually found out. I am not good at Big Gestures To Tell My Spouse. Not when I need him to immediately start handling all smelly house- and child-related issues.

I have what I think of as all the regular pregnacy symptoms – exhaustion, morning and evening sickness, constant peeing, sensitivity to smells, unexplained headaches I can’t take anything good for, pants that don’t fit. My face was breaking out like crazy for the first few weeks but it seems to be slightly better now. I spend every morning throwing up for 20 minutes but then I can usually power through until 3 or 4 pm when I have to start being careful to avoid triggers and then as long as I go to bed before 9 I’m mostly safe. Hopefully I’m almost past the morning sickness stage too and will get some of that good second trimester engergy, now that I’m in my second trimester.

Surprise again! I managed to not announce my pregnancy the second it happened, like I have previously done! I’m actually just slightly more than 14 weeks along, due at the end of August. This is the first time I’ve delayed talking about a pregnancy for so long, which felt a little weird. It started because I just didn’t want to announce at Christmas, then I didn’t want to announce until I had at least seen my OB but because I didn’t even call them until January my appointment wasn’t until the middle of the month. Then my standard screening test came back with some questionable results and I wanted all the information I could get before I opened myself up to every Facebook friend’s questions. Luckily the second, more accurate test came back normal and the ultrasound I had on Tuesday didn’t show anything concerning. I have another ultrasound at 19 weeks to triple check, but I feel reassured that things are as OK as you can ever say they are.Evan is SUPER excited. Caroline is excited about the idea of getting a sister. Linc doesn’t understand yet. Since I don’t want poor Caroline to spend the whole pregnancy thinking she’s getting a sister only to be disappointed at the hospital,

Evan is SUPER excited. Caroline is excited about the idea of getting a sister. Linc doesn’t understand yet. Since I don’t want poor Caroline to spend the whole pregnancy thinking she’s getting a sister only to be disappointed at the hospital, we’re going to find out what we’re having. Team Green was SUPER fun to do with Linc, but since this is mostly likely our last baby, having the next 5 months to purge baby clothes we won’t need is a good use of time. Just like I did a fancy announcement photo shoot, I have plans for a gender reveal photoshoots. It’s my LAST BABY. I want to do ALL the things. Imagine flower crowns and a sunset in my maternity photos.

Our families are very happy. My wonderful, fantastic, very understanding sister might have rearranged her wedding a tiny bit so I could still attend, which is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me. E has been great. Honestly, I think he also realizes this is probably the LAST BABY and has stepped up – doing the dishes, putting the kids to bed, volunteering to hold my hair while I throw up, bringing me the food I’m craving, letting me lie on the couch and wallow while he vacuums. It is making being pregnant while also having three children much easier.

I’ve heard adding a fourth barely matters in the grand scheme of things. We already have a minivan. I’m already staying home with a toddler, staying home with a toddler and a baby only means I’m more tired, not a real change in my schedule. Linc might have just weaned himself (literally yesterday) because my supply has dropped, so I get a little break before I have to nurse a newborn. And then I’ll get a NEW BABY to wear in all my wraps and my baby carriers and snuggle and take pictures of and love undyingly forever and ever. We already scheduled the summer out so we still get to do our beach vacation, lake membership, camp for the kids AND I can spend all of August lying in 18 inches of kiddie pool water in our backyard so I don’t have to wear clothes.

I know myself too well to make any blogging promises, but I have high hopes that now that I’m not keeping my pregnancy a secret I’ll have a lot more stuff to say. I might even do some pregnancy style posts, since this is my LAST BABY and I need very little stuff so I might treat myself to a few cute things that are meant for people actually growing humans instead of just mashing myself into XXL tanks and yoga pants. Although, like I said, I am due in August, and there is no pregnancy style in August. Especially when you don’t have air conditioning.

Isn’t it completely crazy that I started this blog in 2008 when I was newly pregnant with Evan and only a month after I reach the 8 year mark I’ll have my FOURTH baby? That’s a lot of babies and a lot of time to maintain a blog, even if it’s just a personal narrative at this point and not the amazingly popular money-making mommy blogging empire I imagined in the first few years.

And I am INCREDIBLY happy about all of it.

This pregnancy is NOT going to be the same as the first one. I don’t just mean because I can’t sleep all day and spend hours reading surprising facts about first-time motherhood since I’m too busy chasing down the fastest 13 month old on the planet. It’s going to be different because I learned my lesson the first time. I am both older and wiser now.

1) This time, I will NOT put on my maternity jeans until I absolutely cannot fit into my regular pants without cutting off circulation and/or creating a permanent dent in Sandy’s head. And absolutely no cheating and switching to full time yoga pants before the 2nd trimester!

2) I will NOT give up on any and all forms of exercise as soon as I get the least bit tired around week 8. I will keep going to Stroller Strides, participating in play groups, taking the baby for walks and going new places to ensure I don’t end up a flabby lump on the couch. My thighs still haven’t recovered from the last pregnancy and if they rub together any harder the National Park Service is going to raise the threat of wildfire to HIGH every time I walk outside. (Edit: I wrote this post at least 10 days ago. This morning I’ve been hit with full time morning sickness that had me breathing heavily through my mouth through all of SS. I may have to switch to my nice wussy gentle prenatal yoga DVD.)

3) I will NOT suffer through horribly ligament pain or sciatica or whatever the hell it was last time that had me moaning and sleepless. If the doctor tries to brush me off or tell me it’s just part of pregnancy I will kick her in the teeth until she writes a referral to someone who can help. Even if that someone is a voodoo witch doctor who sticks twigs up my nose.

4) I will NOT buy thousands of dollars worth of baby stuff I’m never going to use or need (granted, I didn’t know any better last time). New baby does not equal all new baby crap. My old baby stuff isn’t even old enough to be out of stores. Although if anyone has some baby stuff they’re trying to get rid of (say a double jogger or some newborn size cloth diapers, I am MORE than happy to take hand me downs).

5) I will NOT let the internet or my pediatrician make me feel bad for any of my choices regarding pregnancy, birth, infants, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, etc. Although I might not make the same choices I did the first time I am making them on my own. If you’d like to offer some advice on juggling second babies while wrangling a hyperactive toddler, feel free. If you want to tell me how drinking this Diet Coke is going to cause my fetus to grow gills and a tail then you can suck it.

What did/will you do differently the second time?

Considering my last pregnancy only ended 13 months ago, you’d think I could remember simple stuff like OMG DID YOU KNOW MORNING SICKNESS ISN’T JUST IN THE MORNING?!?!?! and SOMETIMES FOOD YOU USED TO LOVE IS SUDDENLY GROSS! I mean, I know am the first pregnant person ever in the history of the world but how come I forgot these things already?

Some stuff is new this time. Some really, really not fantastic stuff. Like how when the morning sickness does hit first thing in the morning I have to run to the bathroom to empty my always full  bladder (serious baby, how are you kicking me in the bladder when you are smaller than my finger nail????) or I pee myself a little when I throw up. Dry heave, pee. Dry heave, pee. Sneeze, pee a little more, just because it’s so much fun. I bet no one ever you told you THAT joyous bit of second-pregnancy news before. Congrats! You need Depends!

I don’t remember being this tired last time either, although that might be because I slept through my whole first pregnancy. I was like a real-life Disney princess, deep in an endless slumber,only wakened by true love’s kiss. And by true love’s kiss I mean bacon. It may also have something to do with the toddler-sized hell demon I chase after all day and still get up to feed at night. Possibly. I’m hoping I get that second-trimester energy back with a vengeance or nothing is every going to get done around here ever again. Bebeh #2 is going to be sleeping in a drawer for sure.

Also, although my scale says I haven’t gained any weight (although that was before the THREE cheeseburgers yesterday) the button on my jeans is already at Busting Threat Level Red. My “bump” this time is going to be closer to a “giant misshapen abdominal tumor” and I can’t even blame people for asking insipid questions like “Wow, are you STILL pregnant?” or “You’re due WHEN??????” starting around month five. My poor ab muscles have already given up and are on suicide watch. They ask that you please send candy. But not chocolate. Because for some God-forsaken reason, this fetus hates chocolate. Even thinking about the brownie I ate last night makes me want to throw up again. And I really can’t do that. I’m all out of dry underwear.

Scene: E has just come home from work. Baby Evan is napping, I’m on the couch watching TV and interneting.

E: Stares at me really weird, tipping his head and squinting.

Me: What? Do I have something on my face?

E: Yes. Maybe? It looks like you have dirt. On your…face. Above your lip.

Me: Oh that. EFFING MUSTACHE.

E: You have a….mustache?

Me: Don’t you remember? This happened last time I was pregnant too. It’s called melasma.

E: AHAHAHA. You have a mustache. I mean, um, I think it’s sexy. Yes, sexy.

(The good news is I’m pretty sure it faded after a few weeks last time, since I certainly can’t see it in my photos from 4 or 5 months in. But it is definitely time to buckle down with the SPF60. Effing mustache.)

I’m not sure what I did to myself, but it feels like someone has literally stabbed me in the back. The whole left side of my spine hurts in a shooting, pinchy kind of way. It woke me up at 4:30 yesterday morning and has hurt ever since. I can’t figure out how sleeping (my favorite thing in the whole world) can cause a back injury.The chances of this being caused by hard work or exersize are less than zero. The worst part is I can’t isolate the pain. I begged E to rub my back last night but no matter where he pushed it wasn’t where it hurt. I’ve already learned that pregnancy can cause things to feel weird or hurt more than normal, but I thought the back pain was supposed to come later – like month 7 or 8, when I’ll have a watermelon stapled to my stomach. I suppose the strain of my ginormous boobs might have thrown things off balance, but what am I supposed to do about that?

The list of drugs you can take during pregnancy is pretty short. Actually, it’s pretty much just Tylenol. I was planning on calling the doctor if it still hurt this much today, but now I’m not sure who to call. My baby-maker feels fine, so my OB-GYN isn’t really going to care. My regular doctor is impossible to get an appointment with, and I’m fairly sure his response will be “Go lie down. Take some Tylenol.” What I need is a chiropractor but I don’t think the military health care system believes in those. The Navy prescribes foot powder and Motrin for every ailment short of an actual missing limb – even then you’d probably just get the extra-strength Motrin. I think I’m going to just have to suck it up and deal but I’m a huge baby about pain. I really should have thought this pregnancy thing through a little more.