Sunday:

Buying myself a few extra minutes to sleep in on Mother’s Day.

Crazy joy riding kids

Cheesy cheeses

Monday:

There’s a snake (and a ginger) in my bed!

Thinking deep, piratey thoughts.

Brutus would sleep in here all night if I let him.

Tuesday:

And then my uterus started crying

Evan is skeptical of the safety of these extremely sketching swings

Get outta my way, tiny ginger COMING THOUGH!

Wednesday:

I think they do better push-ups than I do.

Oh look, basically my entire childhood on a table.

Reading to dolly

Thursday:

I think she found her summer job

How does your garlic grow? BIG. SO BIG.

Yep, definitely putting her to work on the farm.

Friday:

She just realized her shoes are adorable.

Some days it’s hard to believe this is real life.

They tricked the deli lady into giving them way too much cheese

Saturday:

Emergency response gingers, to the rescue!

Evan was surprisingly good at the hula hoop. Caroline tried really hard.

Best birthday party ever? I THINK SO.

SO MUCH SUNSHINE this past week. I need to buy some more sunscreen immediately. Or maybe I need a super cool hat so I fit in with my kids. Right now I’m hoping I FINALLY managed to tire them out past a 6 am wake-up call, but I’m not holding my breath and plan to go to sleep right now. Soon. Probably. Maybe after to more glasses of wine.

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It was all of 45 degrees yesterday. Spring in Connecticut!

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Despite the fact that it rained – a lot, or at least it felt like a lot – this week, we certainly made it out of the house every day. Which is why I just ate a giant ice cream sundae to celebrate surviving.

Sunday:

Tiny hockey player

I cleaned Caroline's room. It lasted 45 seconds, until Evan found the puzzles.

What, you don't plan your garden while watching Game of Thrones?

Monday:

We borrowed this stroller from a friend and Caroline is in LOVE with it. If anyone knows where I can get one, please let me know.

Playdate lunch - mac'n'cheese and watermelon

WHOA, WHAT IS THIS?? (Answer: soft serve from Sea Swirl)

Tuesday:

A rare moment of peace in a shared cart

He used his magic ginger powers on me. Kid is unstoppable.

Evening self portrait

 Wednesday:

Oh looks, it's raining! Wet!

I've put this damn floor puzzle together every day this week.

Sure. Whatever. Just get out of my house.

Thursday:

POOR CHOICES CAROLINE

Form a line, please! I'm in the front!

Giant bubbles are fun

Friday:

E wore his fancy clothes for a boat thing - I lay in bed.

Beautiful day for Stroller Strides

Caroline learned to say "quack quack". It's the cutest thing ever.

Saturday:

For Mother's Day, I bought myself flowers that will last a lot longer than a bouquet

Caroline was unimpressed by the dinosaur tracks.

It would have been cooler with a voiceover that said "WHEN DINOSAURS RULED THE EARTH!!!"

Despite getting to sleep in Saturday, it was a REALLY long day so as soon as I finish typing this post I’m going to bed. I dragged my very patient husband off to meet my internet friend Kim – who was just as awesome in real life as she’s been online for the past 3 years. The boys had an amazing time running (away) together and Evan cried all the way home because he didn’t want to leave his fwiends. It was adorable. And also exhausting. Sunday is more hockey, more gardening and my first attempt at making artichokes for dinner. Happy Mother’s Day!

Did you take any camera phone photos this week? Link up with one or lots using the linky below and grab the code (so it shows on your blog too!) over at Amy’s . It’s really fun!

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I’m writing this while willfully ignoring my children, who are running in circles throwing raisins at each other and vying for the title of “Loudest Noise Ever Made By Someone Who Weighs Less Than 35 Pounds”.  I am torn between feeling extremely guilty for not being a more active parent at this moment and knowing my sanity cannot take another minute of being used as a human jungle gym.

Evan and Caroline are going through a phase in their relationship – God, I HOPE it’s only a phase – where they are constantly trying to kill each other. Evan sits on Caroline’s head, Caroline shoves Evan off the couch, they both attempt to stand up on the ride-on fire truck. And when I shout at them to KNOCK IT OFF ALREADY they hug and make up…although the hug turns into a squeeze and then into a pushing match and then they’re rolling on the floor squealing again. I don’t think any of it is meant with malice, but damn is it exhausting. I need to record myself saying “Use your words” and “Hands are for hugs and high fives” and “Be gentle” and “Make wise choices!” so I can just play it on an endless loop.

It’s been one of those weeks where being a stay-at-home-mom doesn’t really feel like a privilege anymore. It feels like an endless, hopeless, pointless chore that is destined to drive me over the edge long before these kids become fully self-sufficient. We had an incredibly fun playdate on Monday with one of my very favorite mom friends and we started talking about preschools. We got a little giddy thinking about how next year we could both be child-free a few hours a week if we sent our youngest to under-2 programs, but then she said “I kind of feel bad though. I mean, this is why I stayed home – to be home with them.” And that is SO TRUE – although slightly less true for me (who quit working in a real estate office) than her (who had a really fancy job working to cure cancer). But I am home because I want to spend these years with the kids. Evan is more than half way to kindergarten. Kindergarten is full time school! He will take a bus! I will have hours and hours five days a week without him! And Caroline is only 20 months behind him. I’ll have 13 years of free time during the day to go to Target or unload the dishwasher or weed the garden or eat bonbons and read blogs.

But it’s hard to see beyond the next day of full time momming when my kids are hungry and cranky and sunburned and screaming and my husband calls to say he won’t be home before 9 pm. And it’s hard to stay positive when it rains for four days straight and I go to bed and wake up with a headache. And it’s hard to remember how lucky I am when Caroline smashes me in the face so hard with her head I see stars. And it’s really really hard not to beat myself up when I use my shouty voice practically every time I open my mouth even though I KNOW I’m using my shouty voice and I hate my shouty voice. I bet good moms who really appreciate how privileged they are to be home with their kids don’t even HAVE a shouty voice. I feel even though I recognized I was struggling and did what I was supposed to do and got help and I take my pill like a good 1950′s housewife I still fail, daily, to be the mother my kids deserve.

I know I am not the only mom who feels like this. Probably. I just have to remember that one bad afternoon (or day or week) doesn’t mean tomorrow can’t be better. Or hell, today can be better. After nap time we braved the crazy New England weather – rain! sunshine! wind! heat! cold! all at once! – and worked in the garden. Evan thought planting seeds was the most amazing thing ever and he can’t wait until we have a bean stalk that goes all the way up to the sky. Caroline carried her little pink watering can around like a baby. We talked about how our tomatoes need sun and water and food so they can grow and I forced the metaphor down my own throat so hard I practically choked. But I needed that moment in the dirt to remind me WHY I am so lucky to be here, even if Caroline did just throw a plastic cell phone at her brother’s head while he tried to ride the cat.

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We did some stuff this week. And some other stuff. Honestly, I can’t even remember right now, so it’s a good thing I have a whole bunch of pictures to remind me!

Sunday:

We left Rochester early early to get home and pick up Brutus

Holding hands while watching TV

Giving bedtime the side eye

Monday:

Doing his stretches after Stroller Strides

He thinks putting his socks on his hands is the HEIGHT of entertainment

Uh, someone took my shirt off during nap. I'm not saying who.

Tuesday:

I'm thinking of getting a fish tattoo. This one might be cool.

Watching the sea lion show like Big Kids

Suspicious spy toddler is suspicious of spies

Wednesday:

How YOU doin'?

Oh look, I bought seed to kill

Horrifying dental tools of DOOM (I got a cavity filled)

We had to go do a quality control check on the new Five Guys in town. They passed.

Thursday:

He was mad I wasn't scared when he jumped out of the closet

Doing art while he waits for the dentist

LASERS!!!!!!!!

Friday:

Our attempt at a self portrait was foiled by the super bright flash

Sleepface

May the Fourth be with you!

Saturday:

"Weeding" my garden is more like "cutting down a jungle" in my garden

VERY EXCITED to be going to the dump

VERY EXCITED about goldfish. Also about her adorable romper, because OMG ROMPER.

Luckily, now no one needs to see a doctor or dentist for at least 6 months and we can use our time to do more fun stuff like playdates in Mystic and visiting the Seaport and using our NEW zoo membership at Roger Williams Park Zoo. That is, if it ever stops raining. Although this is perfect nap weather so many I’ll just…close my…eyes…for a…secon……zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Did you take any camera phone photos this week? Link up with one or lots using the linky below and grab the code (so it shows on your blog too!) over at Amy’s . It’s really fun!

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