This time last year I was lying on the couch sobbing into a pillow because I was SUPPOSED to be going to Ohio for Thanksgiving but I was too busy throwing up from pain and worrying my husband was going to think I was faking it to get out of seeing his family. I was also 35 weeks pregnant. I ended up in the hospital and spent the actual holiday having surgery to remove a kidney stone.

It was the worst Thanksgiving ever. I never got a single piece of pumpkin pie.

This year, we are with family. This year, I am healthy. This year my kidneys are behaving themselves. This year I have two perfect outside babies. This year I am going to eat a TON of pumpkin pie.

I have three actual blog posts 75% written and was planning to finish at least one up last night but I went to bed at 9 with a horrible pain in my kidney (AGAIN) and woke up with a fever (AGAIN) so I’m going to spend the day popping antibiotics and chugging water in bed. Because I am single parenting Tuesday and Wednesday I NEED to get better by tonight so I don’t lose my mind. (Call me spoiled if you want but the best part of my day is when my husband gets home from work and is actually excited to spend time with the toddler I’m 30 seconds away from selling to gypsies.)

So instead of words today, please enjoy these pictures of the kids.

It's like a game - can you spot two kids in this picture?

They found each other!

She's topless, he's pantsless, together they're almost a fully dressed kid!

This is how we amuse ourselves - playing "how long can we let go of the baby before she falls over?". Don't worry, we catch her.

Love

Apparently Dada is a lot more interesting than I am.

If adorable feet were a cure for illness, I'd be the healthiest person in the world.

Wow, so that lithotripsy kicked my ass. The actual procedure was totally painless, thanks to a wonderful anesthesiologist who looked up every single drug for me and found one that would knock me out but was safe for breastfeeding, but when the doctor said I might be tired for a while he wasn’t joking. I was totally out of it all day yesterday, even without taking any painkillers. I was also nauseous and unable to eat and light headed and running a low-grade fever and generally just extremely miserable. BUT. The good news is I feel much better today and this should officially be the end of my kidney infections. Fingers crossed.

And now for something completely different.

Most of the time, Little Evan is the best most loving big brother ever. He’s so nice and gentle with Caroline it melts my heart every single time. But I think he’s finally realized she might be here to stay and it’s making him a little…upset.

Caroline: No biggie, I'm just sitting in this chair like a big girl.

Evan: Hey, that's my chair. I'm not sure I totally approve of this situation.

OMG MOST TRAGIC THING EVARRRRRR!!!!

Caroline has clearly already mastered the side-eye

P.S. Little Evan’s shirt says “Plays well with others”.

Two big medical things happened so far this week: I finally saw a specialist about my kidney stones (read more about THOSE here or here) and Caroline had her 8 week check-up.

On Monday I finally got my act together and called to make an appointment with the urologist who treated me in the hospital over Thanksgiving. It took until now because a) I needed a referral and getting an appointment at the Navy clinic takes approximately a zillion years and b) the only time I ever feel really sick is after 5 pm and it’s hard to make appointments with a closed office. After all that time I spent procrastinating the nurse was like “OK, can you be here at 3:45?” Unfortunately, the only reason they could see me so soon is because it was just a consult, not an actual make-the-stones-go-away appointment. The doctor ordered a CAT scan to get a better look at the stones (I couldn’t have one when I was pregnant), blood work to determine what was causing the stones and a giant bottle of pee. Yeah. I’m supposed to collect ALL MY PEE for 24 hours and bring it to a lab for testing. I’m pretty sure I have to keep it in the refrigerator while I’m collecting it too. I think I’ll put off buying groceries until I’m done with THAT. The CAT scan is next week and my follow up with the urologist is in a month, but now that I have been officially, uh, referred, I can go in for instant testing to diagnose an infection and get the drugs anytime my fever comes back. Thank God.

In happier news, Caroline is doing beautifully.

Height: 22 inches (50th percentile)
Weight: 11 pounds 15 oz (75th percentile)(damn 1 oz short of 12 pounds!! I should have fed her and weighed her again)
Head circumference: 40.3 cm

I had to bring Little Evan to the appointment and although I was prepared for the worst – complete with candy hidden in the diaper bag OH NO I AM NOT ABOVE BRIBERY – he was an angel. I’m lucky that Caroline is so easy-going because she was happy to lie on the table and just kick her legs while Evan climbed in my lap and we read Big and Little (Today’s Random Fact: There are 5 different books on Amazon with that title and none of them are the one that I own. It must be out of print) because we are working on our opposites. TAKE THAT BABYCENTER.

Even when I had to put him down to hold Caroline for her shots he just stood quietly and waited. Or maybe he was too terrified by her ear-splitting screams to run away. She was red-faced pissed from the second I pulled her leg out of her pajamas until I got her back in the car seat. I swear she knew what was coming. I hoped some milk might make her feel better trying to nurse her while she’s that mad is about as effective as trying to nurse a rabid weasel so I gave up. In other news, my boobs are 2 seconds from actually exploding, thanks to the combination of crying baby and failed latch attempt. I’ll be adding at least 10 oz to my freezer stash while Caroline sleeps off her anger.

We saw the doctor I liked (aka the one I don’t feel like I need to answer “correctly” instead of always honestly) and he made sure to give me lots of time and prompting to ask questions. Since this isn’t my first time at the baby rodeo (are you now picturing a baby rodeo? No? Just me then)(But would the babies be doing the lassoing or would people be lassoing the babies?) I didn’t have anything to ask – but knowing he would take the time to listen if I did is reassuring. The only tiny bit of contention was when he told me I should “keep trying” to give her a pacifier even though her reaction to them is similar to what yours might be if someone tried to shove a dirty sweat sock in your mouth. Thanks Doc, but we’ll pass on the paci’s, even if this week they’re a “do” – because next week they’ll probably be a “don’t”.

Here’s how Tuesday went:

Wake up, panic about oversleeping, realize I did not in fact oversleep. Find clothes that cover my body appropriately (I have given up on “fit” for the foreseeable future), brush teeth, put on mascara. Fetch toddler from crib, change and dress toddler, put toddler on couch with breakfast so I can go fetch baby, bring baby downstairs, feed and change baby. Look out the window. Notice SNOW AND ICE FALLING FROM THE SKY. Realize the day may not go exactly as I had planned. Check email to discover Stroller Strides in canceled, which means I probably can’t drop Little Evan off at the mall with a Stroller Strides friend. Consider dropping him off at the mall with strangers but decide that’s probably a poor choice. Start car because it is completely iced over. Realize I can give up and go back to bed (or at least put my PJ’s back on) if my doctor’s appointment is also canceled. Call medical center. Wait on hold. Wait on hold. Wait on hold. Wait on hold. Learn sorry, we’re still open, but if you’d like to reschedule we can see you a month from now. Decide to brave slippery roads with toddler and baby in tow. Quickly get online and renew AAA membership I’ve been forgetting to renew for the past month. JUST IN CASE. Get toddler into coat and into car. Get diaper bag full of stuff into car. Get baby into car. Slide out onto unplowed streets to drive the 12 miles to base. Drive up big giant hill praying I don’t slide backwards. Pull into parking lot and remember there is NEVER any parking here. Drive in circles for 5 minutes before gunning it down the aisle towards taillights and getting THE VERY FIRST spot, as close to the door as you can possibly get. Cheer loudly for myself. Open baby’s door, grab bucket seat. Open toddler’s door, unbuckle toddler with one hand and help him out of car. Walk towards building. Realize I can’t remember where I put my ID after showing it at the gate. Walk back to car, put bucket on icy sidewalk, tell toddler to not move. Rain and ice fall on toddler and baby while I search car floor for ID. Check wallet. Find ID in wallet. Close door, pick up bucket, pick up toddler, shuffle to building. Check in. Look incredulously at desk guy who wants me to fill out pointless paperwork. Take pointless paperwork. Sit down, get toddler snack, milk and toy. Rock baby with foot while filling out paperwork. 30 seconds later the nurse calls me in. Get up, pack up toddler’s snack, milk and toy, herd toddler towards door while carrying bucket. Give nurse the run-down of why I’m there. Wait for doctor. Give doctor run down of why I’m there. Doctor agrees she has no idea what’s going on with me and I probably should see a specialist as soon as possible. Baby starts SCREAMING. I ask if she mind’s if I nurse and she says no. Pull out boob. Doctor runs from the room, saying my referral will be at the office. Feed baby. Baby poopsplodes. Toddler poops. Change baby’s diaper and clothes. Get baby back in bucket. Change toddler. Herd toddler back to main desk to drop off pointless paperwork. Stop by referral office. Baby begins screaming. Toddler falls down. Nice lady tries to help toddler up. Toddler recognizes nice lady as HORRIBLE VICIOUS CHILD KIDNAPPER and begins screaming. Grab referral and shove it in my bag before looking at it. Drag two screaming children out to car. Put bucket down on icy sidewalk. Toss toddler in car. Snap bucket into seat. Go back around to driver’s side to buckle in toddler. Realize toddler has pooped again. Give up. Drive to McDonald’s. Buy breakfast sandwich and hashbrown. Throw hashbrown at toddler. Drive home. Unload toddler. Unload baby. Go back out for now-cold sandwich. Slip on ice and step in giant puddle. Sit on couch soaking wet to nurse and burp and nurse and rock and nurse screaming baby while toddler throws animal crackers at my face. Baby finally falls asleep. Put baby in bouncy seat. Get toddler more milk. Change toddler. Take toddler upstairs for nap time. Sit on couch. Eat freezing cold breakfast sandwich for lunch. PASS THE HELL OUT.

Aaaaaand that was just the MORNING.

Tomorrow we’re staying home. I’m expecting it to go about the same.

(This evening, when I finally checked my referral paperwork I discovered it is marked “normal” priority rather than “urgent”, which means they have a full month before they have to process it. It also says they’re going to choose the urologist for me, which means probably NOT the guy who’s already familiar with my medical history. I will get a letter in 7-10 days letting me know. Fantastic.)