Good thing I can’t violate my own patient privacy

Two big medical things happened so far this week: I finally saw a specialist about my kidney stones (read more about THOSE here or here) and Caroline had her 8 week check-up.

On Monday I finally got my act together and called to make an appointment with the urologist who treated me in the hospital over Thanksgiving. It took until now because a) I needed a referral and getting an appointment at the Navy clinic takes approximately a zillion years and b) the only time I ever feel really sick is after 5 pm and it’s hard to make appointments with a closed office. After all that time I spent procrastinating the nurse was like “OK, can you be here at 3:45?” Unfortunately, the only reason they could see me so soon is because it was just a consult, not an actual make-the-stones-go-away appointment. The doctor ordered a CAT scan to get a better look at the stones (I couldn’t have one when I was pregnant), blood work to determine what was causing the stones and a giant bottle of pee. Yeah. I’m supposed to collect ALL MY PEE for 24 hours and bring it to a lab for testing. I’m pretty sure I have to keep it in the refrigerator while I’m collecting it too. I think I’ll put off buying groceries until I’m done with THAT. The CAT scan is next week and my follow up with the urologist is in a month, but now that I have been officially, uh, referred, I can go in for instant testing to diagnose an infection and get the drugs anytime my fever comes back. Thank God.

In happier news, Caroline is doing beautifully.

Height: 22 inches (50th percentile)
Weight: 11 pounds 15 oz (75th percentile)(damn 1 oz short of 12 pounds!! I should have fed her and weighed her again)
Head circumference: 40.3 cm

I had to bring Little Evan to the appointment and although I was prepared for the worst – complete with candy hidden in the diaper bag OH NO I AM NOT ABOVE BRIBERY – he was an angel. I’m lucky that Caroline is so easy-going because she was happy to lie on the table and just kick her legs while Evan climbed in my lap and we read Big and Little (Today’s Random Fact: There are 5 different books on Amazon with that title and none of them are the one that I own. It must be out of print) because we are working on our opposites. TAKE THAT BABYCENTER.

Even when I had to put him down to hold Caroline for her shots he just stood quietly and waited. Or maybe he was too terrified by her ear-splitting screams to run away. She was red-faced pissed from the second I pulled her leg out of her pajamas until I got her back in the car seat. I swear she knew what was coming. I hoped some milk might make her feel better trying to nurse her while she’s that mad is about as effective as trying to nurse a rabid weasel so I gave up. In other news, my boobs are 2 seconds from actually exploding, thanks to the combination of crying baby and failed latch attempt. I’ll be adding at least 10 oz to my freezer stash while Caroline sleeps off her anger.

We saw the doctor I liked (aka the one I don’t feel like I need to answer “correctly” instead of always honestly) and he made sure to give me lots of time and prompting to ask questions. Since this isn’t my first time at the baby rodeo (are you now picturing a baby rodeo? No? Just me then)(But would the babies be doing the lassoing or would people be lassoing the babies?) I didn’t have anything to ask – but knowing he would take the time to listen if I did is reassuring. The only tiny bit of contention was when he told me I should “keep trying” to give her a pacifier even though her reaction to them is similar to what yours might be if someone tried to shove a dirty sweat sock in your mouth. Thanks Doc, but we’ll pass on the paci’s, even if this week they’re a “do” – because next week they’ll probably be a “don’t”.

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20 Responses to “Good thing I can’t violate my own patient privacy”

  1. Amanda says:

    As a veteran 24-hour pee collector (not a title I flaunt often) I suggest shoving the giant jug in a cooler full of ice and just leaving it in the bathroom to keep from having to keep a giant bottle of pee in the fridge. Also unless you have remarkable peeing in a cup skills I also suggest the giant red party cups to pee in. It could be because every time I have to do it I am pregnant and incapable of not peeing all over my hand or I have really bad aim but the cup helps. You are very welcome for that invaluable information!

    • bebehblog says:

      If anyone ever needed proof of the value of blogging, THIS IS IT RIGHT HERE. Priceless tips, my friend.

    • Anne says:

      That is brilliant. I should bring one of these big cups to my pregnant lady doctor visits. I’d be slightly more likely not to pee ALL OVER MY HANDS in those. Then I can transfer it to the little stupid cup they make you pee in. Priceless, indeed!

  2. Kimberly says:

    Yay! I’m so glad that went well!

  3. MKP says:

    I think the babies would be riding large dogs or very small horses and lassoing guinea pigs. But that’s just my rabid brain.

  4. I immediately pictured a carrot jockey from cakewrecks, who I am sure is the clown at the baby rodeo.

  5. Nicole says:

    Just don’t put it on the same shelf as the juice, because…yeah. And I second the use of a party cup. When I was trying to get pregnant with Ben, I bought the super-cheap pee sticks because I needed a thousand of them, and they have to be dipped rather than peed upon. I am no good with a cup smaller than a party cup. Now the internet knows.

  6. Joni says:

    Yes. What Amanda said. As a RN I testify that the best place to keep you pee jig is in some ice. In the absence of something large enough to hold said pee jug, just fill up the sink with ice cubes.

    I wouldn’t recommend shat

    • Joni says:

      How hilarious of an autocorrect/premature iPhone posting is that?

      What that should say is … I wouldn’t recommend sharing this information with your future houseguests. They don’t usually want to wash there hands where there was a jugfull o pee pee.

  7. Cole says:

    We love Dr. Andy, but occasionally we outright lie to avoid a lecture (as in, shhhh! I still have a bedtime bottle). If she doesn’t want a binky, don’t push the issue – I didn’t want one either and I had to have it because I wasn’t eating correctly (it was part of my baby OT to learn how to hold my mouth correctly) and now? I’m a binky addict. Mommy is not sure I won’t be going to college with them…

  8. Amanda says:

    I’ve now bought 4 different types of pacifiers that come 2 in a pack, plus one of the expensive special rubber kind, so I now have 9 pacifiers that my daughter hates equally. I’ve become convinced that if they don’t want a pacifier, there is nothing on earth that will get them to take one. (Alice acts like I am deliberately trying to choke her if I put one in her mouth, complete with gagging and coughing. I had no idea a 10-week-old could be so dramatic.)

  9. Audrey says:

    Hm. I always offered Ev pacis because I wanted him to have something other than a bottle to sooth himself to sleep with. Never worked and to this day he sucks on an empty bottle as he drifts to sleep (we’ll work on that after the potty training is complete). Delilah loves her bink, though. She needs something to suck on and frankly, I’d rather she suck on her paci than my boob for soothing. They are sore enough from the every 2-3 hour feedings that commence 24/7.

  10. bellegourmande says:

    Ha! Baby rodeo, I love it.

    Why on earth would tell you to get her to take a pacifier? That seems so strange to me. In my experience, some kids like them, some don’t. We tried to get Ellis to take one but he wasn’t interested (or rather, couldn’t keep it in his mouth) unless we held it in his mouth for him. We eventually stopped trying.

    Glad the appointments get well, and good luck with the pee jug!

    • bebehblog says:

      Apparently the AAP has decided that paci’s may help prevent SIDS, because while a baby is sucking they won’t forget to breathe. So instead of being just a comfort item for babies that want them they’re actually recommended as safety devices. It’s a new enough recommendation that it wasn’t in practice when Evan was tiny, which was good because he only took a paci for the first 3 or 4 weeks, and then only when we held it in his mouth until he fell asleep.

  11. Holly says:

    Glad to hear you are sorting out the kidneys, and that you got some good pee storing advice.

    My friends have a 4 month old that won’t take a paci and their Dr. was recommending one and they were like, yeah, no. Ivy only got into hers on her first plane ride at 4 months and now she’s almost 2 and we can;t get rid of it, so I say, paci free is the way to be :)

  12. Tricia says:

    So my little bundle of joy, our second as well, was born on December 20! Crazy, huh? Well, not really, considering how many people in the world give birth on any given day. But whatevs. Oh, and the baby rodeo would consist of babies trying to not fall off one of those bouncy horses, you know, with the springs at each corner of the frame? No? Ugh, now I just sound like an idiot.

  13. Tricia says:

    So my little bundle of joy, our second as well, was born on December 20! Crazy, huh? Well, not really, considering how many people in the world give birth on any given day. But whatevs. Oh, and the baby rodeo would consist of babies trying not to fall off one of those bouncy horses, you know, with the springs at each corner of the frame? No? Ugh, now I just sound like an idiot. I hope that your kidney stones get resolved soon, that sounds like no fun at all.

  14. Julie S. says:

    Ugh, I hate those 24 hour pee things.

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