Posts Tagged ‘funny’

Are Cats From The Devil?

Friday, August 31st, 2012

My friend Natalie did a funny post this week about what search terms people are using to find her blog. I thought I would check mine, but was disappointed that most of them are perfectly reasonable and not at all insane. I think that’s a sign that I’m getting boring in my old age – luckily there are still a few good ones to share.

why people like gin and lemon zest sorbet so be – So be…what? Finish your thought! But to answer your question, because gin is delicious, then end.

free boobes iamges cow – I’m not exactly sure what you were looking for, but shame on you anyways.

why do trees have pine cones – To make super cool crafts with, duh.

tramp stamp tattoos – I RUE THE DAY I ever typed the word “tramp stamp” on this blog. It is rued.

zombie party foods – Brains, obviously. You probably shouldn’t be planning a party for zombies when you don’t know very much about them.

naked carpet – I have no idea how this landed someone on my blog, unless it’s how they found my laser hair removal post in which case I’ve officially died of embarrassment.

are cats from the devil – Yes.

h&m black men’s jeans 2011 – You must be really, really lost.

troll baby – Amazing Halloween costume idea, dude. Go for it.

Not Rich Kids Of Instagram #nrkoi

Friday, August 24th, 2012

Have you seen Rich Kids of Instagram?
It’s a good way to feel pretty bad about your life pretty fast.

As a remedy for all that excess and consumption on this lovely Friday, I present:
Not Rich Kids Of Instagram.

Not Rich Kids of Instagram

Drinking the good stuff til we pass out #organicwholemilk #naps #nrkoi

Not Rich Kids of Instagram

Private helipad #NDB #helicopter #nrkoi

Not Rich Kids of Instagram

Just chillin’ at my crib #private #exclusive #newengland #rkoi

Not Rich Kids of Instagram

The ride #dodge #seatsseven #privatechauffer #nrkoi

Not Rich Kids of Instagram

Big spender! Check out my reusable bag discount, y’all. #hardcore #green #stopandshop #nrkoi

I didn’t actually upload these to Instagram but if you want to follow along on our Not Rich Kid adventures I plan to post more on our super exclusive and fancy ferry boat private yacht trip to Long Island The Hamptons and our brush with Elmo famous celebrities this weekend. I’m “bebehblog” on Instagram or you can see my photos on webstagram or Flickr!

Face It: #BlogHer12

Friday, July 27th, 2012

I did a post last year right before BlogHer with pictures of my face. I wanted people to recognize me and say “Hi” if they saw me, since I can be insanely awkward about approaching people. I always assume I’m going to annoy them, so I tend to just slink around in the background, being lurky and weird which just annoys people MORE. Combine that with the fact that I rarely post pictures of my own face without a filter or some photoshopping or from reeeeeally far away and I worry I will walk right past every single person I want to meet without speaking to them. So here’s a guide to my face, and the faces I will be making at BlogHer:

This is what I like to THINK I will look like at BlogHer. Happy, brushed hair, a little bit of make-up, pulled together, uneven eyebrows (DRIVES ME CRAZY).

This is what I will probably actually look like at BlogHer, when I get REALLYCLOSE to read your name tag and realize I love you and that I’ve been looking forward to meeting you for ages. Last year we called this my baby-snatcher face, but I assure you I gave back ALL the babies. I’M SO EXCITED! I’M SO EXCITED! I’M SO…SCARED.

This is me saying “HAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIII!” which is something I actually say in real life. Don’t be scared.

This is my listening face, which looks like my bitch face. It makes my wonky eyebrow look extra wonky and I get a frowny line between my eyebrows but I swear I really am listening intently and not judging anything you’re saying.

This is my nervous quiet face. I am literally chewing a hole in the side of my face because I am worried I am going to say something stupid. I usually gnaw on my cheek until it really really hurts and then disinfect it with alcohol. Speaking of which…

This is my classy cocktail drinking face. I like to order really fancy things that involve chocolate and/or sugared rims.

This is a much more accurate drinking face. My flask will probably be full of something extra classy like peppermint schnapps or Kahlua.

This is my OMG THEY’RE PLAYING USHERRRRRRRR LET’S DANCE! face. I apologize in advance for hitting you with my hair while I’m tossing it around. I will probably also run up on the stage to dance near the DJ because inside I am still 22 and cool enough to do things like that.

This is my drunk face, also known as my “Do you think I should get bangs?!” face, my “Let’s go get a TATTOO!” face and my “Where did my shoes go?” face. This face needs a bottle of water and a possibly a bucket. You are most likely to see this face at Sparklecorn.

But I’ll leave you with my hair in a pony tail, kind of shiny, smiley face, because it is the one I HOPE gets to meet you next week. SO EXCITED.

This year, a bunch of us decided we would all do faces posts and link up. It’s not too late for you to join in!

Toddler Talk

Friday, April 20th, 2012

Evan: “Mommy, are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

……………………………..

Evan: “I feel sad” *pouty face*

Me: “I’m sorry honey, why are you sad?”

Evan: “Because I can’t put my finger in my butt.”

……………………………..

Me: “Evan, don’t hit your sister.”

Evan: “No, YOU don’t hit sister!”

Me: “Don’t talk back to me please.”

Evan: “No, YOU don’t talk back!”

Me: “EVAN. Stop sassing or you’re going to get a time out!”

Evan: “No, YOU get time out!”

Me: *pressing my face into a pillow* AAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!

Evan: *sweetly* “What’s wrong Mommy?”

……………………………..

Me and E: “Good night Evan, we love you.”

Evan: “Good night guys. Love you too guys. Now get out my room!”

……………………………..

Evan: “What’s that?”

Me: “Brussels sprouts, I’m making them for dinner.”

Evan: “Oh, is it your birthday?”

……………………………..

Me: “Good morning baby!”

Evan: “No, not baby. Just Evan.”

 

Wordless Wednesday: Faces and Captions

Tuesday, April 17th, 2012

Zombie baby sez: Your brains are next

Fashion baby sez: I hate what you're wearing

Grumpy baby sez: Get off my lawn!

Kissy face baby sez: KISSES

Skeptical baby sez: Bish, please.

14 year old baby sez: I'm too busy texting my boyfriend to talk to you.

DEAR GOD please save me from my teenage toddler.