Now that she’s a TINY PERSON instead of just an adorable lump I can dress up like a doll I don’t put Caroline in quite so many delicate vintage dresses – but that doesn’t mean she’s any less fashionable. I can’t even tell you how much more fun dressing a girl is than dressing a boy – especially a toddler boy who thinks dinosaurs and helicopters are the height of fashion. With the HUGE number of hand-me-downs (hmd) we’ve received, Caroline’s wardrobe is a zillion times better than mine. She isn’t the hugest fan of clothes in general – I think they restrict her ability to roundhouse kick me in the face – and by 6 pm she’s usually half naked. But even just for our everyday mall-errands-home activities I try to make sure she’s at least out of her PJ’s. Here’s what Caroline wore this week:

Caroline thinks she’s feeding her baby. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that’s not quite how it works.

A summary of Caroline at 13 months…

What she ate: Mini-waffles, grapes (red and green), Pirate’s Booty, grilled cheese, Goldfish, blueberries, carrots, pretzels, yogurt melts, string cheese, lollipop, watered down juice, boob, and a clementine although she really just sucked the juice out and left gross slimy sections all over the floor.

What she wore: Size 4 diaper, size 4 Mary Janes, white socks, 12 month leggings and dress she ruined by crushing blueberries with her butt, 12-18 month jeggings, shirt and sweater I bought at Old Navy to replace ruined leggings and dress. Adorable smile.

What she did: Went to Stroller Strides, ate from a snack trap, played in the play area, climbed up the stairs and down the slide by herself, made new friends, went to a playdate, stood on a chair, fell on her face several times, learned to climb into a chair correctly, clapped, said “all done” when I asked if she was all done nursing, made me laugh, ran away, gave kisses, tried to eat a lot of inappropriate  items, played peek a boo, watched Toy Story, took a nap in my lap, cried a little bit, hugged her daddy, went to sleep without an argument.

Likes include running, climbing, smiling, clapping, laughing, taking off her shoes, blueberries, her brother, friends, being upside down, tunnels, slides, making important calls on her (my) cell phone, tea parties, trying to kill herself.

Disliked include falling on her head, when people try to help her after she falls on her head, being told not to fall on her head, eating clementines the right way.

I’m out of monthly stickers and Caroline refuses to hold still or pose for pictures so these are…blurry. That’s a nice word.

She takes her sandwiches very seriously

She is SO blogging this playdate

Wassup Red?

Finally sitting in the chair without giving anyone a heart attack

TINY JEGGINGS

Lap nap after a busy day

Dinner of champions

13 Month Milestones (from BabyCenter, as usual)

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
Uses two words skillfully (e.g., “hi” and “bye”) – She can say mama, daddy, kitty, doggie, hi, all done, and sit
Bends over and picks up an object – Yes, especially if it’s food

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
Enjoys gazing at his reflection – She will kiss the baby in the mirror but she loses interest pretty quickly. There are lots of things that need kissing.
Holds out arm or leg to help you dress him – She CAN, although she thinks pulling a shirt over her head is some sort of baby torture. But she can take her clothes off like a…nope, can’t bring myself to make any analogy here.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
Combines words and gestures to make needs known – Does weeping and yanking on my pants while I’m trying to eat my lunch without sharing count? How about weeping and yanking on my pants while I read to her brother? Or weeping and yanking on my pants because it’s only 71 degrees in the play room and she prefers it at 73? SHE HAS A LOT OF NEEDS.
Rolls a ball back and forth – Y……es? I feel like Evan was super into balls at this age but Caroline is too busy climbing on stuff and pushing cars around. I’ll see if she wants to play tomorrow.

I AM GOING TO TALK ABOUT MY BOOBS A LOT NOW SO IF YOU ARE MY MALE SECOND COUSIN BY MARRIAGE MAYBE YOU SHOULD SKIP THIS POST TODAY. THANKS.

Yes, that actually was entirely necessary. Jimmy.

Breastfeeding Caroline has been cake. I learned so much the first time around that even when things were challenging I knew how to ask for what I needed (nipple cream) and how to do what worked for me (crying in the shower while hand expressing milk) and it took days rather than months for us to find our groove. I am so thrilled we made it a full year of exclusive breastfeeding, especially because I struggled so much after BlogHer I thought we might not. For me, breastfeeding is both a wonderful bonding experience and a wonderful chance to sit down several times a day. I am never going to look back on my baby’s babyhood and think “Damn, breastfeeding was such a mistake”.

That being said, I have decided to start weaning Caroline. Yes I know she is only a little more than a year old. Yes I know what the WHO recommends. Yes I know I don’t HAVE to. Yes I know there is no medical reason to wean. And I don’t need anyone to talk me out of trying – although I welcome your opinion – because my reasons are totally selfish and for once I am ALLOWING myself to be selfish. I am a selfish, selfish mama who wants her body to herself for a little while after three and a half years of pregnancy, breastfeeding or BOTH AT THE SAME TIME.

In March, I am going on an honest-to-goodness vacation with my husband to several tropical beaches by way of Princess Cruises. It is a Big Deal for us, our first vacation since having kids, and the only vacation longer than a weekend we’ve taken since our honeymoon. My folks are going to watch the kids and the dog and the house for us (cue panicked cleaning of closets and kitchen drawers because OMG my parents will be in my house without my supervision) and since they’re doing us such a huge favor I’d prefer to leave them with a baby who ISN’T expecting anyone to whip out a boob to help her get to sleep. Also, right now my body is still making enough milk for a baby who nurses 4 times a day (plus 2 or 3 times a night) and that would mean bringing a pump on vacation to keep my chest from exploding. Let me tell you, there is nothing sexier than whipping out my double electric Medela for a good milking before bed. Even just cutting back on the nursing would be better than nothing, although I’m hoping for a mostly weaned baby.

The problem is I have no idea how to go about it.

Weaning Evan was something I thought about constantly for months but when it happened it was sort of anticlimactic. He went from nursing all the time to giving it up completely in just a few weeks, but that was because of a pregnancy-related drop in my supply. I do NOT want to be pregnant on our vacation – it would put quite the damper on my goal of drinking my weight in pina coladas. But is there a natural way to decrease my supply? I suppose I could just do the OPPOSITE of all the things the experts suggest when you’re trying to increase your supply, but not drinking water, not sleeping, not eating extra calories and not taking care of myself seems like a poor choice. I have read sage can decrease milk supply and I happen to have a bunch of it lying around from our summer CSA but that sounds like an old wives tale. I know nursing moms are told not to take antihistamines because they can decrease supply, but do I really want to take a bunch of drugs while I’m still breastfeeding? (Short answer: no)

And then, despite what I said above about letting myself be selfish there’s the guilt I’m going to traumatize my baby if I stop. Caroline has always been a really independent little girl and she rarely nurses for comfort. She is affectionate and cuddly even when we’re not nursing so I’m not worried about losing all our mommy-daughter time. But she still has a midnight feeding (and sometimes a 2 am and a 4 am and a 5 am feeding) and those are HARD to drop. She still cries and tugs on my shirt if we go too long without nursing. Despite the fact that yesterday she had two mini waffles, a donut, an apple, blueberries, a Babybel cheese and half a yogurt for breakfast she still wanted to nurse for a minute before we left the house. Does she NEED it or does she just like the familiar? How can I possibly know? I’ve got 3 months to figure it out.

Truthfully, the period of time in a baby’s life where they are either breast or bottle fed is SO SMALL in the scheme of parenting (unless you are amongst the very most extreme extended breast feeders) that cutting her off a few months short of where she would have weaned naturally isn’t going to keep her from getting into Harvard some day. (I am going to repeat that to myself over and over and over for the next 3 months.) And when I come home from vacation if she wants to start nursing again I would be totally OK with that. I LIKE breastfeeding, as a thing. In general. When it’s not making me sick to my stomach with anxiety about leaving. Again. So right now I need all the weaning advice and anecdotes I can get.

Yesterday I found an old iPod in a drawer and gave it to the baby, hoping it would keep her from trying to snatch my iPhone out of my hand every time she saw it. Caroline wasn’t fooled in the slightest – she knows a useless lump of electronics when she seems one – but Little Evan had enough imagination to see it as his very own iPhone and spent the rest of the afternoon walking around with it pressed to his ear saying “Hello? Oh hi! Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, oh ahh-some! Ok bye!”

He thinks tons of things are “ahh-some” (awesome) these days. Trucks. Trains. Dinosaurs. Stroller Strides. Sitting on the couch.  Apples. Bread. Blueberries. Celery. Yep, my picky little eater was actually BEGGING me for more of my celery and spinach hummus snack yesterday afternoon. I have no idea what is causing this new and improved diet but I am definitely on board.

Honestly, he’s being pretty ahh-some himself these days. When he does something wrong I can give him A Look and he apologizes without argument. He plays nicely with his sister (MOST of the time). He doesn’t run away from me in stores so he can walk if he doesn’t feel like riding in the cart. He understand how bribery works, so getting him to do stuff he doesn’t want to do is as easy as promising a lollipop. He even lets me put eye drops in his eyes and squirt saline up his nose without a fight (poor baby has been battling a cold). I have very little to complain about – besides his sudden ability to escape his room and wander around waking up the baby and smearing lipstick on his face – and I’m totally in love with 33 months.

Favorite things include Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, pirates, making forts, playgrounds, the mall, Target, animals, apples, dancing, basketball, milk, cuddling, Finding Nemo, Toy Story, play dinosaurs, DanActive yogurt shake things, his sister, Daddy, Mommy, trains, his friends, talking my ear off, and The Price is Right.

Dislikes include getting his hair cut, booboos, being told to go back to bed when he wants to wander around, being woken up when he wants to sleep, and being forced to watch mommy’s boring shows.

His ankles are always showing because all his pants are too short

He calls his headphones "mikeyphones"

Crazy new big boy haircut

Bribes

Unedited

SCORE!

Basketball scholarship?

32 Month Milestones (from BabyCenter, as usual)

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
• Names one color – He knows white and orange and purple consistently, but he has trouble with red and blue and green getting mixed up. I’m going to ask the doctor if there’s any way to test for color blindness at his 3 year check-up, but honestly I just think he forgets.
• Names one friend – Names a zillion friends…although they all seem to be girls.
• Carries on a simple conversation – Yes, punctuated by the words “Oh, ahh-some!”

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
• Alternates feet going up and down stairs – Yes, although doing it DOWN the stairs still makes me nervous
• Uses prepositions (e.g., on, in, over) – Yes, although he’s been doing that for a long time so I’m not sure I’m interpreting this correctly. He says stuff like “Baby on the chair?” or “Evan sit in stroller?”
• Speaks clearly most of the time (75 percent can be understood) – I can understand him 90% of the time. Other moms can understand him 75% of the time. Strangers can understand him about 40% of the time.
• Stacks eight blocks – SHOVE YOUR STUPID BLOCKS UP YOUR BUTT, BABYCENTER.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
• Is toilet trained during the day – Yes! In fact he’s been doing so well I’ve gotten lazy and he’s had a couple accidents because I didn’t respond with urgency. But those are totally MY fault, he’s really really good at holding it.
• Wiggles thumb – I…have no idea? I’ll ask him to do it later and get back to you.
• Expresses a wide range of emotions – He is a virtual glass box of emotions.
• Draws a stick figure – Whoa, really? No, we’re still on squiggles but he’s started identifying them as people or things