Evan through the years: Birth Day (part 1 and part 2), one, two, three, four, five, six, seven (oops, that one doesn’t exist?), eight

Happy birthday to my firstborn, who is somehow nine years old today even though I could have sworn he was born just last week. Now he’s NINE.

For the last nine years I have made an average of 253 mistakes a day, used my angry voice, yelled, threatened, failed to follow through, was incredibly inconsistent, offer the wrong kind of praise, didn’t enforce bedtimes, let him get away with bad behavior, couldn’t figure out how to make him eat most vegetables and pretended I didn’t notice he was playing on his tablet longer than he was supposed to. And yet somehow, Evan is still a wonderful kid. He’s sensitive and deeply empathetic – he cried during both Coco and Guardians of the Gallaxy Vol 2. He can be hesitant to try new things but he isn’t ashamed to be himself. He wants nothing more than to be treated as a responsible, trustworthy child who is allowed to stay home by himself for 30 minutes at a time. He loves small kids and babies and big kids and adults and everyone in between. He still fully believes in Santa, the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny.

There is so much more I am going to do wrong when it comes to raising this child, but let’s hope heaps and heaps of love is enough to balance all those mistakes. This is my first time raising a 9-year-old, it’s pretty scary and wonderful. Happy Birthday Evan!

I wasn’t going to do a birthday video for Lincoln because of his speech delay. He’s very hard to understand – even his siblings and I have trouble with his language on a daily basis and we “speak Lincoln”. He also doesn’t have words for a lot of things he might want to say, and I didn’t want him to get frustrated and have a break down because he couldn’t communicate. I didn’t want to make him cry just so I could have a video of him answering questions.

But Linc has made HUGE progress with his speech, thanks to months of Birth to Three services and our amazing therapist Jill. He’s had his hearing checked (perfect), a physical (nothing wrong), and he’s been accepted into the early pre school program this fall so he can continue getting direct speech services as well as work on some of his sensory stuff and be ready for regular pre school when he’s 4. I know that in the next 12 months he’s going to grow and improve SO MUCH and eventually I’m going to miss the days when every new word was a celebration and hearing him say “happy burse day” makes me jump for joy.

So we made the video. I shortened my list of questions a little, he asked to have Evan sit with him, and I did a lot of translating. You probably won’t understand what he’s saying. But turning three is a big deal and milestone that we won’t let a speech delay stop us from documenting.

Today is another installment on my recent theme: parenting gets easier and you’re a good mom. YES your kid will eventually eat a vegetable. YES he will survive even on Goldfish and cheese slices. YES your kid will probably be fine even if he hates bottles and you can’t ever leave him for more than 2 hours at a time and you feel like you’ll be breastfeeding until he’s 12.

Evan had his four year well-child visit on Tuesday. The visit itself was kind of awful, with two children sobbing about their shots (despite the fact that only one child even GOT shots) but the information from the visit was great. Evan is 40.5 pounds and 41 inches tall, which puts him just below the 75th percentile and right on the curve he’s been on since his 2-year check up. They also calculated his BMI at 16, which a) does a 4 year old really need to know their BMI? and b) obviously doesn’t mean the same thing for a kid, since 16 falls in the “significantly underweight” category for adults and my kid is clearly not underweight. He’s as healthy as can be and impressed the pediatrician by saying his favorite food was apples. SO MANY APPLES.

It was a good check-up. As the doctor asked her questions I felt an overwhelming sense of “I got this. ” Despite the fact that it’s been almost three years since Evan fell of the growth curve I used to still get nervous when they pulled out the charts. Finally I feel like I can own our choices and our mistakes – when the doctor asked if I thought Evan’s speech was a little unclear I said it was probably because we relied on a sippy cup for too long but we had already switched to straws and I wasn’t worried. Then the doctor started asking ME for advice, since she has a 2 year old she’s struggling to get off sippy cups because he has been so reluctant to give up bottles and they finally found a sippy he liked and she doesn’t want him to stop drinking milk and she wasn’t sure what to do and did I like the take’n’toss cups as an alternative? (Yes.)

There’s nothing like seeing your pediatrician as just another mom struggling against the whim and will of a toddler to make you realize we’re all just doing the best we can as parents and things will be OK.  Of course, telling you things will be OK is not going to make you believe they will be OK, but try to  hold that knowledge deep inside. If you think there is something wrong, there might be something wrong and getting it checked out is the right choice. Always. But don’t feel guilty over every less-than-ideal-nutrition bite that crosses your kid’s lips. I wish I could go back and hug my previous self who thought she was doing everything wrong when it came to feeding my kid and show her 4 year old, 75th percentile Evan. He’s doing great, which means I am too.

Thirty-six months. 1,096 days. 13,149 hours. 3,124 diapers. 104 gallons of milk. 12 states. Hundreds of tiny plastic toys lost under the couch. Thousands of tantrums. Millions of hugs and kisses. Today, Evan is 3 years old.

This age, it is awesome. And horrible. Totally horrible. But also so so awesome. Instead of feeling like I’m constantly catering to a helpless baby’s needs, I feel like I have a little friend who hangs out with me all day. He’s cooler than I am, and funnier, and cuter, and has more friends, but he still likes me best and that’s pretty neat. He gives me hugs in public and wants kisses when he has a booboo and wants to be carried sometimes and I’m going to encourage that behavior for as long as possible. Because when he’s not being adorable and cuddly he’s screaming his head off, punching me in the face and refusing to eat a single bite of his dinner. What is WITH the not eating?! He never holds still, how can he not be starving?

Evan is super friendly and will talk to anyone who talks to him. He tells the old ladies in the grocery store about how Captain Hook tried to take Pirate Mommy’s treasure and Pirate Evan came to the rescue! And he says it just like that: “To the RESCUE!” with his hands on his hips like Superman. His trains have crazy adventures with plots more complicated and twisty than a Christopher Nolan movie. How someone who’s only been alive for 36 months has so much imagination is beyond me, but I will do everything in my power to make sure he keeps on using it forever.

Because he LIKES being the center of attention, when he’s not the center of attention he gets a little…loud. Like hey guys, looks at me check this out GUYS I’m SERIOUS look at what I AM DOING RIGHT NOW MOMMY LOOK LOOK LOOK MOMMY LOOK AT MEEEEEEE. I mean, I suppose that isn’t SURPRISING, since on daily basis I spend 13 hours a day with him and only 2 with E, but sometimes I don’t WANT to talk about his boogers. Evan’s boogers, I mean. E normally keeps his boogers to himself.

Speaking of, uh, speaking, Evan says about a zillion adorable things on a daily basis. We’ve started having family dinner at the table every night and he tells us all about his day. He calls Caroline “Baby Sister” and says “Baby Sister gives the best hugs!” and “C’mon Baby Sister!” when he takes her hand and they run around the house together. He tells the dog he’s a “Good boy, Brutus Brutus.” When E gets home Evan says “Daddy, missed you ALL DAY.” He’s been talking non-stop about his birthday party when he’ll see “all my friends”. As much as I’m looking forward to the party on Saturday, I’m also looking forward to Sunday, when I’m sure Evan will have TONS to tell me about how much fun he had. It makes all the work so worth it.

Honestly, no matter how many tantrums and how much attitude he pulls he is such a good kid. I’m not even going to pretend I’m super sad about him not being a baby anymore because you know what is better than a baby? A kid who craps in the toilet.

Evan’s likes include running, kicking things, his tricycle, gymnastics (finally!), Baby Sister, dogs, kitty, helping me around the house, friends, Daddy, bathtime, sleeping, milk, coloring, talking, singing, chocolate, strawberries, dinosaurs, cheeseburgers, lemonade, books, pirates, The Disney Channel, his cousins, counting, pillows, and elevators.

Dislikes include being tired, band-aids, falling down, being ignored, spiders, and being forced to pose for pictures.

And now for some totally unbelievable photos from Evan’s last 3 birthdays:

Birth Day

Tiny puke machine

12 months

OMG

24 months

36 months

You're in my way, Mom.

Most serious face ever

Attitude to the max

I'm sorry, when did he turn FIFTEEN?

Best siblings ever

Blurry, laughing picture is perfectly accurate

35 Month Milestones (from BabyCenter, as usual)

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
• Describes how two objects are used – He knows the iPhone is for Angry Birds and the TV is for Disney, so we’re good right?
• Uses three to four words in a sentence – On Wednesday, he woke me up by saying “Mommy, I got poop in my butt!” So that’s seven words.
• Names two actions (e.g., skipping, jumping) – He often demands that I RUN FASTER at Stroller Strides or that I do HIGH KNEES when we’re shopping. He’s a tiny personal trainer.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
• Hops and skips – Someone last month said I should ask him to skip for the lulz…and they were right.
• Follows a two- or three-part command – He can get himself to the bathroom, take off his pants, flush and wash his hands all by himself. It’s the BEST SKILL ever to emerge.
• Separates fairly easily from parents – Yes, he likes us OK but realizes other people still fall for his “I’m so cute give me a cookie” routine. The real test will be preschool, which I was super excited about but now I’m dragging my feet.
• Rides a tricycle – Yes, on flat ground. And now he has an awesome bike helmet thanks to his Mormor.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
• Balances on each foot for three seconds – Yes. The kid can walk the beam at gymnastics too.
• Gets dressed without help – He got caught in his shirt trying to pull it over his head (of course I immediately rushed to help him without laughing even a tiny bit) and it was kind of traumatic so now he won’t take off his own shirt. But he CAN dress/undress himself.

Happy Birthday my wonderful, special boy!