I read a post on BlogHer last week about a mom who has no interest in throwing her kid a Pinterest-style birthday party. I’m not going to link to it directly since I’m not trying to criticize or start a fight with the author. You can easily find it if you want to read the original but the gist was this: “We do low-key parties. I sent some email invites and invited 2 friends and my kid had a super good time…” The part that came after those ellipses was unspoken by the author but was obvious in the comment section. It ranged from “…so planning a big, extravagant party is stupid” to “…so your way is a waste of time” to “…which makes me a better mom because I spent more time with my kid than you did because you were on Pinterest looking for ways to make cupcakes in a mason jar.”

WHOA WHOA WHOA. While I can agree with the premise of the original post (You don’t NEED matching place settings to have a nice birthday! Kids don’t really care!) I would like to register my extreme disagreement with the idea that throwing a Pinterest-inspired kid’s birthday party makes me anything except for someone who likes throwing parties.

I am not a better mom. I am not a worse mom. I am not a busier mom. I am not a slacker mom. I am not a more involved mom. I am not a mom who never plays on the floor with her kids. I am not interested in comparing my kid’s birthday party to your kid’s birthday party. YOU DO YOU. I am just doing something that makes me and my kid happy.

What’s that you say? This sounds just like everything else about parenting? Why yes, I believe you’re correct! Breastfeeding, bottle feeding, make your own baby food, baby-led weaning, cloth diapers, disposable diapers, organic sawdust filled diapers, daycare, preschool, homeschool, unschool, upside-down school, WHATEVER. The effort/non-effort you are willing to put into any of those things doesn’t have anything to do with me. Stop making it a comparison. If you hate it, don’t do it!

I swear to you – double-dog, pinkie-swear, cross-my-heart-and-hope-to-die-stick-a-thumbtack-in-my-eye swear – that when I bring my kid to your kid’s birthday party at Chuck E Cheese the ONLY thing I am thinking is “Hmmm…Will anyone notice if I eat 4 pieces of pizza?” I am grateful we were invited because it means my kid isn’t a total jerk. I am glad to be out of the house. I am EXTRA glad if there is store-bought cake, since we all know that’s really the best kind. I’ve been to birthdays ranging from 3 kids just hanging out to 30 kids and a bounce house and my kid had fun at all of them.

When I started this big, fancy birthday party thing for Evan’s 1st there WAS no Pinterest. It was the Stone Ages of party planning, where I had to rely on Google Image Search and my own brain. I didn’t even know about paper straws. But I started the planning ball rolling and it just…kept going. I liked it. It was fun, it kept me busy, it was a creative outlet I had been missing during that first hectic new-baby year. Evan REALLY enjoyed his birthday and I enjoyed the compliments. Now it’s become my Thing – birthdays, baby showers, Halloween, whatever – and I’m going to keep doing it as long as the kids are still excited about it. Although one day I’m sure we’ll do Chuck E Cheese – and this year we’re doing a store-bought cake too.

Whew. That was 400 words more than I was planning on writing and probably 600 words more than I actually needed.

TL:DR version – Parties are cool, do whatever you want.

If what you want is a vintage train themed party with an orange and blue color scheme, here’s what I’m planning for Evan’s 4th. I’ve bought about 75% of this already and I’m making/hunting down/crowd-sourcing the rest.

We love you, family and friends and internets.

We also love 50 degree weather – for my New England babies, that’s practically summer! Don’t worry, I put coats on them before I let them make snow angels.

Free tip: Two kids might be harder in a LOT of ways but the good part is they always have someone to play with. These two are BFF’s.

*Giveaway is closed!*

Here is a complete list of all the fruits my children eat:

Apples
Bananas
Strawberries
Raspberries
Blueberries
Anything that’s a berry
Oranges
Clementines
Tangerines
All other orange colored fruit
Mangoes
Kiwi
Grapes
Watermelon
All the other melons
Any fruit that costs $8 a pound

Here is a list of vegetables my children eat:

Carrots

That’s mostly it. In the spring and summer when we can get stuff from the farmer’s market or our CSA they’ll eat a lot more – lettuce, sprouts, beans, peas, zucchini – but winter is long in Connecticut and trying to get in 3 servings a day is like pulling teeth. Considering Evan’s already been on supplements for his iron once (thank goodness we’re done with that!) I’m not above tricking them into eating their vegetables – we’ve done smoothies with hidden spinach, pureed veggies in the tomato sauce and thinly sliced squash in sandwiches and quesadillas, but I’m always looking for extra ways to sneak in nutrition.

So when the people from Voots Veggie-Fruit Tarts reached out, I said we’d love to give them a try.

Voots Veggie-Fruit Tarts are a children’s supplement made from 11 real fruits and vegetables, which are dehydrated, crushed, blended with Vitamin C and other ingredients, and made into delicious chewable berry-flavored tarts that kids love. The product even contains the Vitamin C antioxidant power of three full servings of fruits and veggies!*

When I got my package from Voots, I noticed the directions said “ages 4 and up” on them, so I ran the idea of giving them to Evan by my pediatrician. She said it was totally OK and well within the safe limits for vitamin C, especially since he’s almost 4 anyway (OMG! He’s almost FOUR!) and the restriction was probably more about choking rather than ingredients. Evan’s opinion of Voots is that it’s “fun candy”, which I am doing nothing to discourage. I love that they come in little packages so I can throw them in my purse and let him have a “treat” while we’re out. They’d be perfect to put in a lunch box or even bring to work for your OWN lunch – Vitamin C is extra important during cold season!

You can get more info about Voots on their website, especially in the FAQ section. To give someone a chance to try out Voots on their own, I have a prize pack to give to one of my readers! It includes:

• An adorable t-shirt featuring the Voots brand fruit and veggie characters
• A reusable lunch bag to help pack up those healthy meals for your kids
• A pencil sharpener to keep writing utensils in tip-top shape
• A magnet and picture frame that can be posted around your favorite photo on the fridge
• A temporary tattoo that your child can wear in pride
• And… a 45-day supply of Voots Veggie-Fruit Tarts!

To win, just leave me a comment with your kid’s (or your own!) favorite fruit or veggie. I’ll use Random.org to draw a winner on February 18th and email them so Voots can ship out their prize pack.

Caroline is REALLY excited about that temporary tattoo.

* Voots supplements contain 60 mg Vitamin C per serving. The average Vitamin C content of the top 20 most commonly consumed fruits and top 20 most commonly consumed vegetables is 19 mg per serving, for a total of 58 mg per three servings. Voots supplements are not intended to replace your daily intake of fruits and vegetables, which are important sources of fiber and additional nutrients. I received a prize pack from Voots for me to try out but no other compensation was provided and all opinions are my own. 

And the winner is…#8!

Congrats to Amy, who was commenter #8! Watch for an email to get your shipping address!

Sometimes people accuse bloggers of airbrushing real life out off their posts, focusing only on the beautiful, sparkly, aspirational parts of their day to day.

I think this is true. A lot of bloggers want their spaces to be about beauty, to represent the happiest moments, to share only the best memories with the world. Lovely things get lovely compliments. It’s nice to hear approval and admiration from other people, even if it doesn’t actually mean anything. Who doesn’t want to hear “You have a beautiful home” “Your children are adorable” or “Wow, that looks delicious”. Blogs are today’s magazines, and no one subscribes to an ugly magazine.

The problem is when everything looks TOO effortless and TOO perfect. When I read Martha Stewart Living, I know those homes and recipes and children have been styled and arranged and glossed within an inch of their life. When I read blogs I assume I’m getting a real, un-glossed story – or at least one one that is more true than false. Maybe you really do look like a model, have an all white living room and eat every meal in restaurants by candlelight. In that case I am very jealous of your life and won’t say a word about the authenticity of your blog. Congrats on being awesome.

But for the rest of you? Go ahead and show me your messy house or your yoga pants or your dirty children sometimes. Tell me the story of how you planned an idyllic picnic in a meadow but a dog ran off with your roasted chicken and your kids fell in a creek. By all means be beautiful, but be honest too. I’ve never shared a moment of weakness or truth and had someone walk away disgusted. Whether it’s through photos, words, or funny misspelled kitten pictures, let’s be real friends.

Because real friends tell you they let their kids watch 11 episodes of The Backyardigans yesterday AND eat cookies for dinner. They admit that they prepped all the cookie ingredients  like a sous chef on a cooking show so she could take fifty pictures without worrying about a pound of sugar ending up on the floor. A real friend will admit that she chooses and edits her photos because she wants to show off her kids being adorable but also because she enjoys taking and choosing and editing photos. A real friend will admit she ate five six seven cookies while doing all that editing.

A real friend would also share her cookies with you, but you better hurry over since these are going to be gone really soon.

Besides the prep and a little help spooning out the dough, these cookies were totally ginger-made. I couldn’t be more proud of my tiny bakers.