The list of skills Caroline has mastered is pretty long, but the list of skills she THINKS she has mastered is hilarious. She’s like a walking internet meme. Eating yogurt? NAILED IT (as long as you don’t mind that she’s covered from head to waist in just as much yogurt as she got in her mouth). Dressing herself? NAILED IT (even though both her legs are in one leg-hole of her pants and her shirt is on backwards). Reading books? NAILED IT (all our books go like this: “One day…kitty, uh oh, look! The end.”) Torturing her brother? NAILED IT. For real. Every. damn. time.

Because of the snow plus more snow, this is only Caroline’s second week at school but so far she loves it. When I picked her up today she told me she loves her teachers and loves baby school and wants more. I’m thrilled she is happy there and thrilled I don’t have to even pretend to feel bad about enjoying my childless mornings twice a week. My hope is she has the opportunity to be a leader in her class, since at home she get bossed around when it comes to play time. I’m trying to make sure she gets to develop as her own little person (especially since the brother-copying at home as gotten OUT OF CONTROL in both good and terrible ways).

As well as Caroline tolerates winter (she is a true New England December Baby) I am so looking forward to the adventures we’re going to have when the weather warms up. Now that she’s big enough to walk/eat human food/drink from a regular cup/stay out all day without a nap we can go on longer and more interesting day trips. It’s like hanging out with an adorable little friend instead of dragging around a reluctant baby. She can still be a major handful (Confidential to the people at Target the other night: SO SORRY. AGAIN. SORRY.) and is by no means an angel but she can be reasoned with 75% of the time. And by reasoned with I mean bribed, mostly. Some weeks are better than others but there are whole entire days where I don’t have to scold or put her in time out because she listened to my requests and followed through. I suspect this is just an up-phase and we’ll be back in a down-phase of listening soon – but at least in a few weeks we won’t be trapped in the house anymore.

I think she’s finally gone through a growth spurt, since her 18 month clothes are officially too small. We’re moving up to all 24 month stuff but even some of her 2T clothes fit. She’s still squeezing her feet into her size 5 sneakers, but I think they’re probably too small. Don’t tell her that though, because girl NEEDS her ” pink ‘parkly shoes!!”

Likes include apples, oranges, grapes, strawberries, peanut butter, noodles, drinking from a straw, The Backyardigans (she knows all their names), singing, dancing, shouting, Brutus, Blushes, her brother (mostly), Daddy, splashing, reading, puzzles, swimming, princess skirts, eating snow, rock’n’rolly music, school, Monsters Inc, cuddles and pretending to be a kitty cat named Ninja who meows instead of talks.

Dislikes include nightmares, cleaning up, wearing hair clippies, being hungry and not getting her way.

26 Month Milestones (from BabyCenter, as usual)

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
Stacks six blocks – Piece of cake.
Walks with smooth heel-to-toe motion – She’s too busy skipping, running and dancing to do much walking.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
Uses pronouns (e.g., I, me, you) – Me me me me me me mine me mine allll day.
Washes and dries own hands – Like a champ.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
Speaks clearly most of the time – Other parents can understand her. Childless grown ups less. Her teachers understand more than I do.
Draws a vertical line – She’s must more interested in coloring in the entire page blue (ALWAYS BLUE) than drawing a stupid old line.

Caroline is a big girl now, the end.

This morning I opened the gate and sent her downstairs herself. When I came down a few minutes later she gotten two clementines off the counter and peeled them – one for her, one for her brother.

Today at the play place, she taught all the other kids how to slide down the slide head first.

She also conned one of the moms into giving her all the snacks the mom brought for herself. I told the nice lady she didn’t have to share, Caroline is very well fed, but she insisted she didn’t mind because “She’s so cute!”

Yesterday at bedtime I explained to her my back hurt so I couldn’t sit on her bed while she fell asleep but I’d be happy to sit in her chair instead. She said “OK Mommy. Feel better now.”

Instead of crying when she fell off the couch and on her head, she jumped up and said “TA-DA!”

She is spunky, funny, full of life, full of attitude and charms almost everyone she meets. She is an amazing two year old (and is going to be a TERRIFYING 12 year old).

Likes include animals, books, apples, oranges, running, jumping, making up songs, dancing, Minnie Mouse, Monsters Inc, snow, playgrounds, friends, Daddy, bath time, Tinker Bell, cuddles, princess skirts, wearing pull-ups instead of diapers, stacking things, exercise, noodles, strawberries,  and her brother.

Dislikes include time outs, wearing clothes all day, hair clips and when Evan doesn’t want to play with her.

25 Month Milestones (from BabyCenter, as usual)

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
Stacks six blocks – Caroline and Evan used teamwork to stack 12 stall tubs of play-doh, so I’ll give her half credit for that.
Walks with smooth heel-to-toe motion – Walks, runs, jumps, dances, all like a big kid.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
Uses pronouns (e.g., I, me, you) – All the pronouns are belong to Caroline.
Washes and dries own hands – Her favorite part of potty training (and the only part she’s very good at).

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
Speaks clearly most of the time – I can understand her about 90% of the time, other people are probably at about 75%.
Draws a vertical line – Sort of. But she likes drawing circles the best while shouting “CIRCLE CIRCLE CIRCLE”.

I looked at Caroline’s socks this morning and they say “6-12 months” on the bottom. (If having a tiny child is good for one thing it’s getting your money’s worth out of clothes.) Those little purple socks have been through a lot of milestones, but when I think about 6-12 month old Caroline I can barely remember her. My Now-Caroline, the one who demanded sprinkles on her birthday doughnut and a kitty shirt to go with her kitty pants and is right now sleeping with her head in my lap, makes my heart so full I don’t even think longingly of the baby-days. There’s hardly time for missing things between her demands anyway.

We had to adjust our bedtime routine a few weeks ago and now I get to sit on her bed and watch her fall asleep each night. I love that she needs me for something besides a cheese-and-grape dispenser and I treasure the moment she drifts off and her arms relax. That’s when she’s still my baby. She even let’s me brush her ridiculous hair out of her eyes so I can actually see her face (tips on getting her to wear a barrette would be useful).

Caroline is still taking gymnastics once a week and her favorite part is hanging from things. She can hold onto the high bar for an incredibly long time and loves to swing on the rings like a monkey, complete with monkey sounds. She can do a somersault on her own finally and at the end of class she requests that I throw her – THROW, with lots of hang time – into the foam pit. In the past she hasn’t always wanted anyone but mommy to help her in class but she’s warmed up to the coaches and it’s making everyone’s life much easier.

She refused to tell me or Santa what she wants for Christmas so we are both being forced to guess. Considering she just got pretty much every fairy toy and book in existence at her birthday party she needs more toys like I need another Pinterest board, but I won’t let her December birthday mean she gets combined gifts. At least not until she asks for stuff like a flying scooter or a hair-dresser robot.

Caroline is so smart. She is beautiful. She is kind. She is an excellent sharer. She is hilarious. She is an incredible hugger. She might be a championship eater when she grows up. She is precious in every way. And even when she’s driving me totally bonkers I love her to pieces.

Likes include: Minnie Mouse, ducks, running, climbing, dogs, Santa from a distance, the rocket ship ride on thing at the mall, coins (“monies”), my wallet, counting, play-doh, cutting things, undecorating the Christmas tree, birthday parties, books, Tinker Bell, bath time, her blankies, dolls, stuffed animals, cuddles, Daddy, Mommy, music, Octonauts, cats, stickers and food.

Dislikes include: Santa up close, being tired, getting dressed and being told what to do (apparently she’s 15).

If having kids, especially Caroline, has taught me anything it’s that life isn’t always picture-perfect. We didn’t do anything photo worthy today, no special photo shoots in the woods, not even a stop in the grocery store for a birthday balloon like I had planned.  I tried to take her to Build-a-Bear yesterday to pick out a special new toy but I was too busy convincing her the deflated empty bears hadn’t been skinned for their pelts by stuffed animal poachers to remember to take photos. (Luckily Evan did the building for her, so now she has a lovely stuffed dog named Franz.) That was the last “fun” thing we’re even attempted – she’s been grumpy and feverish so today we’re celebrating quietly at home with our doughnuts, Play-doh and waaaaaay too many hours of Disney Jr. Even without two dozen staged photos to remember it by, I think turning 2 is a pretty special day.

24 Month Milestones (from BabyCenter, as usual)

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
Names at least six body parts – She’s especially fond of “chin” and “collar bone” so she can show off her scars.
Half of speech is understandable – I can understand 95% of her speach, other people can probably understand about 75%. She doesn’t babble, she just speaks with a toddler accent.
Makes two- to three-word sentences – Yes

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
Talks about self – Me, mine, my, and Car-line are some of her favorite words. She also says “favorite” a lot.
Arranges things in categories –
Can walk down stairs – Yes, although she’s still awfully short.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
Begins to understand abstract concepts (e.g., sooner and later) – I would say yes she UNDERSTANDS the concept of “later” but she prefers “NOW MOMMY NOW.”
Becomes attuned to gender differences – Er, well, having a brother means she understands at least ONE gender difference. And she can point out other people’s mommies and daddies. But besides that Caroline is equally willing to play the princess, the dragon or the knight.
Learns to jump – Tiny jumps, although she can fling herself off a trampoline like a pro.

This is the last month my baby will be my baby. I’ve been letting myself say she’s “one” for the past couple weeks instead of “almost 2”, even though it feels sort of ridiculous. She’s been shedding her babyhood faster than I can gather it up in my memory for more than a year now. Recently she’s moved farther away from charming, silly and good-natured and more towards willful, stubborn and independent.  She’s mostly capable of doing things on her own but has very strong opinions about WHEN and WHERE she wants to do them. It’s like a tiny window into what it will be like to have a 16 year old. It doesn’t help that she’s been having physical and emotional growing pains that frustrate both of us immensely and leave me wrung out by bedtime.

And then, on Saturday night, right as I was leaving her room after an hour of stories and rocking and singing and cajoling and begging her to please, please, please just lie in your bed and sleep already she said “Rock Mommy, rock”. I held her in my lap and we rocked. I felt her go limp and still then twitchy and dreaming and tried to remember the last time we rocked to sleep. I couldn’t. I know the last time  she couldn’t have asked so clearly. I know the last time her feet didn’t hang off the chair and I couldn’t rest my chin on her head. And then I lifted her full sleeping body weight to put her into bed and all of her babyness dropped away. She is long and heavy and definitely a child, even if I’m not completely ready for her to be one.

Two seems like it’s going to be a challenge. Along with learning to say adorable things like “Oh coconuts!” and “Don’t whorry, Mommy!” she loves to yell “I DO IT!” and “EAT! EAT! EAT! NOW!” and “Jammies on, NO BATH!” For every spontaneous please and thank you there’s a screaming fit over wearing shoes or pants. I keep telling myself it’s just a phase – it’s ALWAYS just a phase – but right now I’m just hoping we both survive it with no permanent damage.

It the face of her epic tantrums, it’s a good thing she’s really, really cute. She loves to narrate what we’re doing, so at Target she sounds like this: “Target! I love you Target! Cart. No that cart. Big cart! I DO IT. I push. Caroline walking. See! C’mon Mommy! Coffee, Mommy? Coffee? Icee? Hi! Hi baby! Hi! No, my cart! Buy it Mommy? I have it. HAVE IT NOW. Yahhhhh Target! Bye bye bye bye Target! Bye!” times one thousand times a day. She picks out her own clothes and if that means she wears a short summer PJ’s over footie PJ’s then that’s OK with me, although it’s cold enough now that I keep getting Looks when we go into a store and she isn’t wearing shoes. She eats more than anyone else in the house but is still a peanut. She’s really into coloring and painting now, although the mess she makes is incredible. But that’s the part she likes the best so clever toddler-friendly alternatives like Color Wonder markers don’t fool her one bit. She wants me to read to her 12 hours a day, although she also likes to “read” her own books. Yesterday she tried to play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star on the piano, although I only know that’s what she was playing because she was also singing at the top of her lungs. I wish she would let me put a barrette in her hair to keep her bangs out of her eyes but there is no way I am cutting a single hair on her head.

Likes include her blankies (she calls them both “Bee”), her pillow, books, blocks, music boxes, CHRISTMAS STUFF, art, making a mess, Sesame Street, music, dancing, gymnastics, putting on clothes, taking off clothes, running, cuddles, iPads, iPhones, Daddy, the dog, the cat, singing, climbing stairs, her brother, doing things herself, bossing me around, Mickey Mouse, apples, eggs, eating and giving kisses.

Dislikes helping me run errands, being left behind, not getting her way, wearing shoes, and bedtime.

Milestones below the adorable photos, as usual.

23 Month Milestones (from BabyCenter, as usual)

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
Names simple picture in a book – She can name almost anything in a book and insists on doing it every time we read anything.
Uses 50 to 70 words – More like 500 to 700 words and that is only a tiny exaggeration. She knows ALL THE WORDS.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
Opens doors – She can, but she’s mostly too short for the ones in our house. THANK GOD.
Sings simple tunes – Yesterday she tried to play Twinkle Twinkle on the piano while singing. It was a nice effort but she is clearly not a musical prodigy.
Takes more of an interest in playing with other kids – Was she supposed to be uninterested in other kids? She’s a second child, the poor girl has no idea how to entertain herself.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
Talks about self (likes, dislikes) – Mostly dislikes. “NO WANT IT BERRIES! WANT MOMMY’S FOOD.” “Nooooo bathtime! Nooooo NOT filthy!” but she will tell you her favorite color is green and she likes her blankie.
Asks “why?” – No, but she asks “HUH?” and taps her finger on her chin and says “Ummmmmm” while she’s thinking.

Let’s not even talk about how late this post is, since my reasons for being late are mostly valid. And by mostly valid I mean first we were busy traveling to Caroline’s BFF’s house on Long Island and then Caroline turned into a horrible screaming monster. We have apparently entered the Terrible Twos a few weeks early and it is taking every ounce of patience I have in my body not to turn into a screaming monster in return. Sometimes even every single ounce I have isn’t enough and I have to fortify my patience with wine and chocolate and Diet Coke. I’m getting lock-jaw from all the teeth clenching and bald patches from ripping my hair out in frustration and I could pack her entire fall wardrobe in the circles under my eyes from the stress of handling her in public.

But then she goes and does something hilarious and when I laugh she says “Caroline funny! Funny Mommy!” and does anything she can to make me laugh again. She loves being the center of attention and has no problem making friends, even with kids older than she is. Her broken collar-bone hasn’t slowed her down or made her more cautious at all – which is good, I guess, I don’t want it to hurt her. But DEAR LORD she is hard to keep out of danger.

With just two month months before she turns two, I’m trying to decide if sending her to school in January is the right choice. Right now she really WANTS to go to school. She cries when we drop Evan off and God forbid we actually have to go INTO the school for anything, since she’ll try to angry-badger her way out of my arms and run into the 2-year-old class. But in some ways she’ll still just a baby who needs a cuddle if she falls down and doesn’t understand why some kids aren’t always nice. She’s smart enough to count to three but not mature enough to negotiate a complicated sharing situation. She gets along great with her brother…except when she doesn’t. Am I trying to push her into school more for selfish, two-child-free-mornings-a-week!!!! reasons or would she do amazingly well in a school environment?

Besides counting to three (which she hilariously does anytime I threaten her with it – “Me: Caroline, get off the dog now or you’ll go to time out! One…” Caroline: “TWO!!! THREE!!!”), she’s started naming colors and shapes, reciting books we read often, and helping with Evan’s alphabet puzzle. She will repeat and remember any word you say in her presence and can (almost) tell knock knock jokes. I hope some day she becomes an actress – even if it’s only in the middle school production of Annie – since she has the most expressive face I’ve ever seen.

Favorite things include dancing, singing, reading, Mickey Mouse, Elmo, running, jumping, gymnastics, juice, cheese, iGadgets of any kind, trains, elephants, hayrides, boats, baths, The Fresh Beat Band, being naked, princess skirts, sparkly shoes, coloring, throwing things, shopping (a.k.a. throwing things into my cart that I don’t want), books, pirates, slides, cereal, eggs, and petting zoos.

Least favorite things include not getting her way, not getting her way and not getting her way.

p.s. I made the skirt and am SO IMPRESSED with myself.

21 Month Milestones (from BabyCenter, as usual)

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
Kicks ball forward – Yes, although she could work on her aim.
Follows two-step requests (e.g., “Get your doll and bring it here”) – When she feels like it she can follow a 10-step request, but mostly she’d rather run away and drive me insane.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
Does simple puzzles – Loves to do the big dinosaur puzzle, but loves smashing it up even more.
Draws a straight line – Only if she’s coloring on something she’s not supposed to be coloring on. Like the tv or the dog.
Names several body parts – I think she knows pretty much all the body parts. Or at least the common ones – I doubt she could find her uvula.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
Puts on loose-fitting clothes – Puts on and takes off clothes at will. Usually in public.
Might be ready for a big bed – Been in a big girl bed for months, although still chooses the crib at night most of the time.
Understands opposites (e.g., tall vs. short) – I know she knows UP/DOWN, since she enjoys screaming it at me when she wants to jump.