Let’s not even talk about how late this post is, since my reasons for being late are mostly valid. And by mostly valid I mean first we were busy traveling to Caroline’s BFF’s house on Long Island and then Caroline turned into a horrible screaming monster. We have apparently entered the Terrible Twos a few weeks early and it is taking every ounce of patience I have in my body not to turn into a screaming monster in return. Sometimes even every single ounce I have isn’t enough and I have to fortify my patience with wine and chocolate and Diet Coke. I’m getting lock-jaw from all the teeth clenching and bald patches from ripping my hair out in frustration and I could pack her entire fall wardrobe in the circles under my eyes from the stress of handling her in public.

But then she goes and does something hilarious and when I laugh she says “Caroline funny! Funny Mommy!” and does anything she can to make me laugh again. She loves being the center of attention and has no problem making friends, even with kids older than she is. Her broken collar-bone hasn’t slowed her down or made her more cautious at all – which is good, I guess, I don’t want it to hurt her. But DEAR LORD she is hard to keep out of danger.

With just two month months before she turns two, I’m trying to decide if sending her to school in January is the right choice. Right now she really WANTS to go to school. She cries when we drop Evan off and God forbid we actually have to go INTO the school for anything, since she’ll try to angry-badger her way out of my arms and run into the 2-year-old class. But in some ways she’ll still just a baby who needs a cuddle if she falls down and doesn’t understand why some kids aren’t always nice. She’s smart enough to count to three but not mature enough to negotiate a complicated sharing situation. She gets along great with her brother…except when she doesn’t. Am I trying to push her into school more for selfish, two-child-free-mornings-a-week!!!! reasons or would she do amazingly well in a school environment?

Besides counting to three (which she hilariously does anytime I threaten her with it – “Me: Caroline, get off the dog now or you’ll go to time out! One…” Caroline: “TWO!!! THREE!!!”), she’s started naming colors and shapes, reciting books we read often, and helping with Evan’s alphabet puzzle. She will repeat and remember any word you say in her presence and can (almost) tell knock knock jokes. I hope some day she becomes an actress – even if it’s only in the middle school production of Annie – since she has the most expressive face I’ve ever seen.

Favorite things include dancing, singing, reading, Mickey Mouse, Elmo, running, jumping, gymnastics, juice, cheese, iGadgets of any kind, trains, elephants, hayrides, boats, baths, The Fresh Beat Band, being naked, princess skirts, sparkly shoes, coloring, throwing things, shopping (a.k.a. throwing things into my cart that I don’t want), books, pirates, slides, cereal, eggs, and petting zoos.

Least favorite things include not getting her way, not getting her way and not getting her way.

p.s. I made the skirt and am SO IMPRESSED with myself.

21 Month Milestones (from BabyCenter, as usual)

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
Kicks ball forward – Yes, although she could work on her aim.
Follows two-step requests (e.g., “Get your doll and bring it here”) – When she feels like it she can follow a 10-step request, but mostly she’d rather run away and drive me insane.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
Does simple puzzles – Loves to do the big dinosaur puzzle, but loves smashing it up even more.
Draws a straight line – Only if she’s coloring on something she’s not supposed to be coloring on. Like the tv or the dog.
Names several body parts – I think she knows pretty much all the body parts. Or at least the common ones – I doubt she could find her uvula.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
Puts on loose-fitting clothes – Puts on and takes off clothes at will. Usually in public.
Might be ready for a big bed – Been in a big girl bed for months, although still chooses the crib at night most of the time.
Understands opposites (e.g., tall vs. short) – I know she knows UP/DOWN, since she enjoys screaming it at me when she wants to jump.

Hello, I like to speak to whoever is in charge of turning my little baby boy into this GIANT PERSON. I am dissatisfied with the speed at which it is happening and would like it to slow down immediately. Thank you.

There’s nothing like bringing home a new baby to make your old baby seem, well, old. Although some of it isn’t just in my head – I ask Little Evan to help out a lot more than I used to and so he’s learning responsibility pretty fast. I know “go throw this diaper away” or “bring mommy her iPhone” isn’t rocket science but it’s still cool to see him understand and follow through. Most of the time. Sometimes he gets weirdly possessive of the dirty diapers and cries when we throw them away. And sometimes he throws them at my face. Oh, toddlers.

In “things I really dislike” news, we’ve officially reached a point where I can’t help comparing my kid to other kids and worry about his development. Why doesn’t he talk more? Should he be saying more words? Why doesn’t he know his letters or numbers? Which of course leads to mountains of Mommy Guilt – although some of it might be just a little bit deserved. If I haven’t really been teaching him letters and numbers how is he supposed to learn them? I’ve been so focused on words (and words that actually SOUND like the words they’re meant to be) I totally skipped the alphabet. I guess I thought we had some time before I needed to start on that sort of learning, but based on my Twitter/internet friends we’re now way behind. And although I love his babbling gibberish I’m starting to feel like people are judging me in public because he doesn’t speak more clearly or say more words. One of my goals this month is to write down a list of all the words he DOES say so at his 24 month check-up I can ask the doctor if he thinks we should look into speech therapy.

Luckily the BabyCenter milestones for this month don’t include language skills so I can try to stop worrying for a little while longer. Oh! Although I have news on the block-stacking front! The other day I caught him making HUGE towers of blocks upstairs in the playroom, so I guess I no longer have to be bitter that he missed all those previous block-stacking milestones. TAKE THAT BABYCENTER.

22 Month Milestones (from BabyCenter as usual)

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
• Kicks ball forward – He’s a soccer player in the making.
• Follows two-step requests (e.g., “Get your doll and bring it here”) – Yes! He could probably follow a three or four step request. Understanding language is not our problem.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
• Does simple puzzles – Does this mean the wood cut-out ones? Because we’re working on those and he’s getting there but he loses interest pretty fast.
• Draws a straight line – Maybe accidentally. He likes coloring in theory a lot more than coloring in practice.
• Names several body parts – Yes. Especially my boobs.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
• Puts on loose-fitting clothes – Sometimes, although he has a problem understanding pants and shirts are not the same. Also that pants are not hats.
• Might be ready for a big bed – I’m planning to make the switch for his 2nd birthday. The problem is it involves a lot more than just switching the crib for a bed because the room isn’t very childproof and if he got up to play he could ruin a LOT of stuff before I noticed. But I’m hopeful that the actual transition to the bed will go well.
• Understands opposites (e.g., tall vs. short) – I don’t know? He understand enough differences that I can ask him to bring me one of two similar things and he gets the right one but I’m not sure we encounter a lot of opposites.

This morning in a desperate attempt to calm a temper tantrum I let him try out the piano for the first time and he loved it. He clearly heard the differences in the notes and loved sliding down to press the lowest ones and then reaching up to the highest ones. He also taught himself that pressing one key at a time made a different noise than smashing down a whole bunch. I’m not saying he’s an OMG MUSICAL GENIUS or anything, but it’s nice that he enjoys it.

Hmmm...time to write my materpiece!

Definitely need some of these notes up here

Brilliance has struck!

Stop bothering me while I'm composing!!

Now for the BIG FINISH

That's it! I shall touch it no more. My work is perfect.