Let’s not even talk about how late this post is, since my reasons for being late are mostly valid. And by mostly valid I mean first we were busy traveling to Caroline’s BFF’s house on Long Island and then Caroline turned into a horrible screaming monster. We have apparently entered the Terrible Twos a few weeks early and it is taking every ounce of patience I have in my body not to turn into a screaming monster in return. Sometimes even every single ounce I have isn’t enough and I have to fortify my patience with wine and chocolate and Diet Coke. I’m getting lock-jaw from all the teeth clenching and bald patches from ripping my hair out in frustration and I could pack her entire fall wardrobe in the circles under my eyes from the stress of handling her in public.

But then she goes and does something hilarious and when I laugh she says “Caroline funny! Funny Mommy!” and does anything she can to make me laugh again. She loves being the center of attention and has no problem making friends, even with kids older than she is. Her broken collar-bone hasn’t slowed her down or made her more cautious at all – which is good, I guess, I don’t want it to hurt her. But DEAR LORD she is hard to keep out of danger.

With just two month months before she turns two, I’m trying to decide if sending her to school in January is the right choice. Right now she really WANTS to go to school. She cries when we drop Evan off and God forbid we actually have to go INTO the school for anything, since she’ll try to angry-badger her way out of my arms and run into the 2-year-old class. But in some ways she’ll still just a baby who needs a cuddle if she falls down and doesn’t understand why some kids aren’t always nice. She’s smart enough to count to three but not mature enough to negotiate a complicated sharing situation. She gets along great with her brother…except when she doesn’t. Am I trying to push her into school more for selfish, two-child-free-mornings-a-week!!!! reasons or would she do amazingly well in a school environment?

Besides counting to three (which she hilariously does anytime I threaten her with it – “Me: Caroline, get off the dog now or you’ll go to time out! One…” Caroline: “TWO!!! THREE!!!”), she’s started naming colors and shapes, reciting books we read often, and helping with Evan’s alphabet puzzle. She will repeat and remember any word you say in her presence and can (almost) tell knock knock jokes. I hope some day she becomes an actress – even if it’s only in the middle school production of Annie – since she has the most expressive face I’ve ever seen.

Favorite things include dancing, singing, reading, Mickey Mouse, Elmo, running, jumping, gymnastics, juice, cheese, iGadgets of any kind, trains, elephants, hayrides, boats, baths, The Fresh Beat Band, being naked, princess skirts, sparkly shoes, coloring, throwing things, shopping (a.k.a. throwing things into my cart that I don’t want), books, pirates, slides, cereal, eggs, and petting zoos.

Least favorite things include not getting her way, not getting her way and not getting her way.

p.s. I made the skirt and am SO IMPRESSED with myself.

21 Month Milestones (from BabyCenter, as usual)

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
Kicks ball forward – Yes, although she could work on her aim.
Follows two-step requests (e.g., “Get your doll and bring it here”) – When she feels like it she can follow a 10-step request, but mostly she’d rather run away and drive me insane.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
Does simple puzzles – Loves to do the big dinosaur puzzle, but loves smashing it up even more.
Draws a straight line – Only if she’s coloring on something she’s not supposed to be coloring on. Like the tv or the dog.
Names several body parts – I think she knows pretty much all the body parts. Or at least the common ones – I doubt she could find her uvula.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
Puts on loose-fitting clothes – Puts on and takes off clothes at will. Usually in public.
Might be ready for a big bed – Been in a big girl bed for months, although still chooses the crib at night most of the time.
Understands opposites (e.g., tall vs. short) – I know she knows UP/DOWN, since she enjoys screaming it at me when she wants to jump.

I sort of can’t believe that after 33 months of posts – and only 2 more to go – I completely forgot Evan’s 34th monthday. Just totally let it blow right by without even a thought. I’ve had no trouble adjusting to writing 2012 on everything but admitting it’s February? Forget about it. At least it was just a monthday and not an actual birthday I missed. Like my husband’s. Which is on Saturday. Oh crap.

I think by blocking the date out of my head I was subconsciously avoiding trying to write this post. 34 month old Evan is pretty much the same as 33 month Evan which will probably be the same as 35 month Evan. This isn’t an age with big, exciting milestones to celebrate and check off and compare to other kids. This is an age of subtleties and new emotions and suddenly realizing my kid is drinking from a real cup and helping watch his sister at the playground and sitting quietly while we wait for an appointment. Yesterday in the car he said “My trains are right here, Mommy, all my trains” and I realized he has just used a personal pronoun correctly, twice. I’m not sure I’m ready for pronouns to replace all the Mommys and Evans and Daddys and Sisters. I can’t even pretend he’s a baby anymore. No matter how hard I squeeze him he just keeps on growing.

We are in the midst of a bedtime/naptime renegotiation, where he NEEDS a nap or he ends up falling asleep on the floor but if he DOES take a nap he won’t go to bed without hours of delays and then wakes up at 4 am, turns on all our lights and insists it’s morning. Even though we skipped naps on Tuesday, he tried that TWICE Wednesday night – once at midnight, once at 3 am and I ended up lying in his bed for an hour listening to him protest how NOT SLEEPY he was until he drifted off. I’ve been around the parenting block enough times now to know this is A Phase and like all Phases it will change before I can really do anything about it – but I’m still considering a door lock for his room.

When it comes to The Tantrums, a few parenting books are on their way to my door thanks to the magic of two-day shipping with a trip to the library on the agenda for tomorrow. I also took a more proactive approach and signed both kids up for weekly gymnastics. At the first class, Little Evan ran around like a wild monkey and then cried his eyes out when it was time to go home. At our second class, he ran around like a wild monkey, attempted a cartwheel, learned to do a somersault, swung on the high bar, waiting his turn, jumped in the foam pit, threw a Frisbee through a hoop, and cried his eyes out when it was time to go home. How many classes do I think it will take before he participates in warm up, jumps off the trampoline, learns to vault and DOESN’T cry when we leave? I have no idea but I’m willing to keep taking him until it happens. STRUCTURE is the name of the game, folks.

Speaking of structure, Evan heard some of the girls at Stroller Strides talking about school and now he keeps asking when he gets to go. “Evan go school too Mommy! See friends, see teacher, see trains. Bye-bye Mommy! See-ya later!” I guess I can’t keep putting off a decision for much longer, not unless I want to crush his dreams of backpacks and new friends and access to crayons that haven’t been chewed up by a certain small ginger toddler. I wrote “call preschool  at the church for a tour” on my to-do list today and if I like them I’m going to call it good and sign him up. I decided to stop stressing SO MUCH about preschool. We’re talking about circle time and finger painting here, not choosing between Ivy League colleges. As long as they don’t believe in corporal punishment or include a unit on Zenu our benevolent overlord I don’t think I need to spend so much energy on researching every single option withing a 60 mile radius.

I would like to sum up 34 months in a short, catchy way but honestly there is TOO MUCH of EVERYTHING to even try.

Likes include carrots, lollipops, trains, chips, dinosaurs, books, being carried, running, sitting in my lap, not sitting in my lap, Daddy, babies, friends, his blankie, milk, sleeping, Mickey Mouse, iPads, singing, the alphabet, helicopters, dogs, kitties, and the aquarium.

Dislikes include really loud noises, waiting his turn, riding in the shopping cart, sharing, and being forced to use the potty when he’d rather be playing even when he REALLY REALLY has to go.

I swear he's getting MORE gingery by the day

I have to put his dinosaurs to bed before he'll take a nap

Night night Mommy! Get out Evan's room!

34 Month Milestones (from BabyCenter, as usual)

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
• Names one color – His favorite colors are orange, pink and purple, but he still gets the rest of them mixed up a lot. Still on my list of stuff to ask about at his 36 month check-up.
• Names one friend – He cried yesterday because he didn’t get to see his friends, all of whom he can name.
• Carries on a simple conversation – Yes, although sometimes I have NO idea what he’s talking about.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
• Alternates feet going up and down stairs – Yes, although he fell the other day and is now being SUPER cautious on the back steps.
• Uses prepositions (e.g., on, in, over) – His new favorite joke is talking about all the places he is not going to put his poop. No poop in tub! No poop on baby! No poop on dog! No poop under couch! Ahahahahaha!
• Speaks clearly most of the time (75 percent can be understood) – I don’t think the PERCENTAGE is getting any better, but he’s using a lot more words. Other people can understand him about 50% of the time, but it’s more like 90% for me.
• Stacks eight blocks – FOURTEEN BLOCKS. BOOM.

Evan & friends built (and knocked down) this tower over and over for 10 minutes.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
• Is toilet trained during the day – Still yes. Next step is to get him to stay dry during naps.
• Wiggles thumb – Yes, but he’s about as good at giving a thumbs up as my cat is.
• Expresses a wide range of emotions – SO MANY EMOTIONS
• Draws a stick figure – Still no, but he’s started declaring his scribbles are things. Mostly dinosaurs.

I’m not upset about my teeny tiny baby girl turning one. I understand it had to happen eventually. And really, she is still so TEENY TINY I can pretend she’s a baby when we rock in the glider or when I creep into her room to take pictures of her while she sleeps. (Creeeeeeeeepy!)  But mostly I’m ok with her being one because she is super duper awesome and cool. She is way cooler at 12 months old than I have ever been in my life. I mean, she can TOTALLY wear knit leggings.

Caroline still loves food – all food, any food, all day – but especially chicken nuggets and cheese. She learned how to use a sippy cup (today!) but is having some trouble with not letting all the milk/water fall out of her face. I’m going to have to find something REALLY delicious to convince her it’s worth swallowing. Maybe she’d like some hot cocoa and schnapps.

As much as she eats, she has definitely cut back on her nursing schedule, although she refuses to drop the midnight feeding. I KNOW she doesn’t need it – sometimes she goes from midnight until noon the next day without nursing – but she wakes up every single night and is so much easier just to pop a boob in her mouth than to argue. In case you didn’t know, arguing with toddlers almost never works. We are leaving her with my parents (more on THAT later) in March, so my goal is to have her sleeping through the night by then, if only because I don’t want them to refuse to babysit ever again. I’m also debating weaning her before then, or at least mostly weaning her, so I don’t have to do much pumping while I’m gone. (I have SUCH. MIXED. FEELINGS. I think I need a whole separate post for them.) But for now, she’s still a nursing champ.

But besides the waking up, she is an awesome sleeper. If she doesn’t fall asleep when we rock I can leave her in the crib with a book or a toy and she’ll play herself to sleep. Oh my God, do you hate me SO MUCH right now? Seriously, she is at an insanely easy age, so even when she’s having a clingy day she is still a darling child. Today at Target a woman literally couldn’t stop herself from trying to hug her, although when I looked alarmed she was like “Oh no! That was inappropriate! I’m so sorry, she’s just so gorgeous and she’s SMILING at me!”

It’s true. It’s impossible not to love her when she smiles at you. I love her so much I forgave her for breaking my iPhone.

Favorite things include: iPhones, the dog, the cats, her brother, putting trash in her mouth, cheese, cookies, spaghetti with meat sauce, boobs, her fancy patent leather shoes, blankies, forts, sleeping, bath time, dinosaurs, biting things, giving huge slobbery open mouth kisses and throwing herself head first off the couch.

Least favorite things are falling on her face, diaper changes, the vacuum cleaner, watching me leave the house, being buckled in the shopping cart and when I fish the trash out of her mouth so she doesn’t choke to death. Such a TERRIBLE MOTHER.

I don't like this sticker, Mom.

No, seriously, get it off me or I will CUT YOU.

Ha ha, just kidding. *BABY GANG SIGNS*

C'mon, do you want YOUR age in giant numbers on your chest?

Ok, FINE, if you won't help I'll do it myself.

Here you go! I fixed it!

Showing off the baby gun show

OH FOR THE LOVE. Now the tutu AND the sticker?

Dude, do YOU know what's wrong with this woman? --- Just smile and nod, kid, smile and nod and plot our takeover.

12 Month Milestones (from BabyCenter, as usual)

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
Imitates others’ activities – Her new favorite game is taking very important phone calls on my iPhone. I’m expecting a year’s supply of cheese to show up on my doorstep any minute.
Indicates wants with gestures – Gestures, screeching pterodactyl noises, same difference.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
Takes a few steps – Runs, climbs, roundhouse kick’s me in the face.
Says one word besides “mama” or “daddy” – She can say “mama”, “daddy”, “kitty”, “hi”, and things that sound like “I got it” and “all done!” but I wouldn’t swear those last two weren’t my imagination. She also puts words together and says “Hi daddy!!” in the absolute cutest way ever.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
Walks alone – See above
Scribbles with a crayon – She still put too much stuff her in mouth to let her have crayons…unless I want rainbow-colored poop in the morning.
Says two words besides “mama” or “dada” – See above. I sort of think I’m imagining ALL the talking, but since BabyCenter assures me it IS possible she’s talking I like to believe I just have a super genius baby.

Happy 4 Months Baby Girl! You’ve celebrated this monthday by becoming a master at rolling back to front! Every time we put you down you flip over lightning fast. Your little baby muscles are super strong. Unfortunately, you’ve totally forgotten how to roll front to back (that’s supposed to be the easy way!) so once you’re on your tummy you’re stuck and that makes you Very Unhappy. VERY. So you’ve been spending a lot of time in the exersaucer and the bouncy seat so we don’t have to run over and roll you every few seconds. I tried to task your brother with the baby rolling but, uh, he’s not the most gentle – although he really wanted to be helpful.

You’re wearing 6 month clothes and I’m thrilled because we have SO MANY cute summer dresses in 6 and 9 months thanks to boxes and boxes of hand-me-downs. If only the weather would get warmer so I’m not putting leggings and socks and long-sleeved onesies under everything.

But I need to talk to you about that screaming you did on Monday night. SO.MUCH.SCREAMING. It was stung-by-a-bee or poked-with-a-needle screaming, although neither of those things happened. And even though it probably only lasted for 20 minutes it was the longest 20 minutes of our lives. NOTHING could console you. I had the doctor check you today for possible causes but you just cooed and him and made happy faces and made me look like a liar. Although I’m glad you didn’t give a repeat performance tonight.

Also, please poop soon. I’m not looking forward to what will happen if you wait another day.

4 Month Stats:
Height: 23 3/4 (25th percentile)
Weight: 14 lbs 1 oz (50th percentile)
Head circumference: 42.3 (75th percentile – girl has a BIG HEAD)

Poor Caroline, these pictures are just terrible. When we got home from the pediatrician she was sound asleep so I missed my chance at daylight. Plus she got shots in both legs and a special cream on her head for cradle cap (you know they can fix that now?!) so she’s basically just a mess. But I can’t take them tomorrow because TODAY IS HER MONTHDAY. I may be a little…stubborn about things like that.

Look at my leeeegs! My mommy is so meeeeean!

ALMOST a smile

nom nom nom

NOM NOM NOM NOM

Leg rolls! And also her totally crazy bald spot. It's so so sad.

4 Month Milestones (from BabyCenter, as usually)

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
Smiles, laughs – Yes! Unfortunately almost NEVER in pictures.
Can bear weight on legs – She loves “standing”.
Coos when you talk to him – Yes

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
Can grasp a toy – Yes! She can pull the handle on Evan’s old bouncy seat to make it play music too.
Rolls over, from tummy to back – As I said, she forgot that one. But she rolls the other way!

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
Imitates sounds: “baba,” “dada” – No I don’t think so.
Cuts first tooth – I can’t TELL. There’s a bulgy spot on her gums and she’s definitely drooling like crazy and will chomp all over my hand but it’s not one of the bottom 2 front ones, which I thought were almost always the first to pop out. Also? Cutting a tooth isn’t a SKILL.
May be ready for solid foods – We’re going to wait til 6 months to introduce solids.

She's a drooling mess. But a cute drooling mess.