This is my belly. Please watch with the sound off unless you want to hear my heaving breathing and the local forecast from a couple weeks ago. Posting video is kind of weird and perhaps waaaaaaay more personal than I should get, but I am so fascinated by my baby I no longer have any sense of personal boundaries. I think the difference between my breathing and Baby E’s kicking is pretty obvious, but judge for yourself. If you dare.

[googlevideo=http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8928577087414112777&hl=en]

Last night I dreamed that while setting up for my enormous, wedding-reception-style baby shower, E set himself on fire and ended up in a coma. I was more worried about having to handle 100+ guests (none of whom I knew) by myself than I was about E ever recovering. Then I gave birth to a 30 pound Cabbage Patch kid. Through my belly button.

I just wanted to take a moment and thank my baby for not DISLOCATING MY RIBS. Apparently, this is something that happens to some (very unfortunate) women during pregnancy. So no matter how uncomfortable I am, it could be a hell of a lot worse. Good baby, have a cookie.

I have my doctor’s permission to have my baby any time I want. Unfortunately, I don’t really feel like it right now, since my cold has two or three more days until it expires and all I’ve eaten this week is Gatorade. I’ve got enough crap coming out of my head, I don’t need any other orifices to start leaking just yet. But the baby is head down and has definitely “dropped” into my pelvis – where he actually fits a lot better than he did under my rib cage. The midwife also said Baby Evan seems to be a reasonable size and I’m in no danger of delivering a 12 lb infant.

I also need to finish a round of antibiotics for some sort of unusual urinary infection that my midwife forgot to call and tell me about when I got tested a week ago. (Sidenote: Did you know Stop & Shop is giving away free antibiotics? I was worried they wouldn’t take my military insurance but since the drugs were free it doesn’t ever matter! Yah, Stop & Shop!) I don’t really want to give my baby a weird crotch disease so I’m going to try to wait 7 days before going into labor.

At my appointment Monday the doc starts doing internal exams to check my cervix. If I’m “long and closed” I have permission to visit Sara in NYC on Tuesday – where I hear they have excellent pad thai – but if I’m dilated 2-3 cm I have to stay home – where we only have lousy, non-delivery pad thai. I’m really hoping for the first scenario.

You know what’s really weird? There are tiny pastel spoons in my silverware drawer. And bibs mixed in with my pot holders. There’s formula next to my coffee maker, baby bottles in my dish cabinet, a car seat by my back door, three high chairs in my dining room, a cradle in my entryway, a co-sleeper in my bedroom, crib sheets in my dryer, itty-bitty washcloths in my bathroom, and a Baby Einstein Discover & Play Entertainer in the corner of my family room. It’s incredibly strange to have all this baby stuff when I still can’t imagine what it’s like to have an actual baby.