Good news, bad news

The good news: My baby is totally and completely healthy. He’s gained 14 oz in 10 days, which the pediatrician said is “spectacular”. This is just normal baby spit-up, not projectile vomit or a sign of an illness (although the cat he just threw up ON might disagree). Baby has healthy lungs (the better to scream at you with), a healthy stomach (the better to hold the puke with) and healthy bowels (the better to crap himself with). There are no signs that he has any sort of allergy and the chances of my milk being the problem are minuscule. The doctor said giving up any foods – even dairy – is unnecessary.

The bad news: Baby Evan is going to keep puking. There’s no way to stop it. His problem is purely mechanical – the muscle that holds food in his stomach is too weak to do its job. It happens with almost every baby. Eventually it gets stronger and the spit-up stops. I’ve got to keep reminding myself that although I can no longer remember what NOT having a baby feels like, Evan is still less than 6 weeks old. He went from two cells to a whole baby in only 9 months – I need to give him a little time to adjust to the big wide world. I just wish there was a countdown for HOW much time it’s going to take. I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel – because the tunnel is full of BARF.

8 Responses to “Good news, bad news”

  1. afteriris says:

    Sounds like you have a very sensible pediatrician!

    You probably have higher standards than me but I just stopped attempting outfits after a while. My daughter spent most of her first 6 months in a nappy and vest/ babygro. I hesitate to admit this, but after the first month of so, I developed a gauge for the volume of puke and if it was down the lesser end of the scale I just dabbed it up with a muslin square… I’m what’s known in these parts as a slummy mummy!

  2. erniebufflo says:

    Yay for good peds. I said something to that DOCTOR HUSBAND you know I just can’t stop bragging about and his unimpressed response to stories of baby Evan’s puking was, “It’s normal, it’ll go away by a year.” To which I replied on your behalf, A YEAR?

  3. bebehblog says:

    A YEAR?!?! Tell your husband I’m mailing him a baby. He can handle it, it’s totally normal.

    Afteriris – I WAS keeping the bebeh naked until he decided he HATED THE SIGHT OF HIS OWN LEGS and refuses to be consoled unless he is fully dressed. I have five long sleeved, footed onesies that I alternate…but it takes a couple of pukes before I’ll even consider changing him.

    I wish I lived somewhere I could be called something cute like “slummy mummy” rather than just “lazy and neglectful parent”.

  4. erniebufflo says:

    Eventually I’m going to have to give the man a baby so he can practice all the things he’s learned in how-to-be-a-pediatrician training. For now, I’m sitting here reading blogs, he’s reading some pediatrics journal, and he goes “Hm.” I say, “What are you hming?” He says, “Oh, it’s really scary, you don’t want to know.” This is code for: it’s something terrifying involving pregnancy or children and since I want you to give me babies, I’m not going to tell you. It’s going to be hard having my first kid and knowing nothing while living with someone who knows everything.

  5. lalaland13 says:

    Maybe you could attach the baby to a vacuum cleaner.Whenever he starts puking, stick it in his mouth. That’s not child neglect, is it?You may be able to get a deal with Hoover.

    I dislike hairballs, and I get to clean those up once a week, at most. I can’t imagine this.

    Why does he hate his legs? Is he going to be like my friend with body dysmorphic disorder? Well, not quite that bad. But a bit early for body-hating.

  6. J.D.Regent says:

    I can’t stop laughing at the image of little E. inconsolable at the sight of his own bare legs. I’m sure it does not feel amusing at the time but from afar away it is ridiculously adorable. Every 24 hours must feel like an eternity sometimes but you know you are going to look back and this whole time is going to feel like one heartbeat. I feel like the moms I know started to feel a lot better by 6 months. He is NOT going to be puking like this for a year! Just think, with every hurl he is building those stomach muscles stronger. And, you can comfort yourself with all the dairy you can handle.

  7. stacyinbean says:

    Oh GOOD! Yay for no dietary restrictions! You know I got a sewing machine for Christmas, maybe I could fashion a full legged onesie out of burp clothes for Evan and a full dress for you? I can’t believe he doesn’t like his legs, I’ll have to agree with JD, that’s hilarious to imagine!

  8. […] honestly, we mentioned it ALL THE TIME and all we got was “Meh, some babies throw up a lot“, even from my lactation consultant. Clearly it wasn’t normal but since he was gaining […]

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