Dear Past, Meet Now

This weekend while running super exciting Saturday morning errands (Target, Home Depot, sporting goods store, my life is so glamorous), E and I ran into someone we used to know. Someone from a long long time ago. Eight years to be exact.

Right there in the aisle of BJ’s, holding an oversized jug of olive oil and a sleepy baby, I was faced with just how much my life has changed.

I have written and deleted a zillion words here to explain this next part because there is no way to sum up college in just a few paragraphs. It was new. It was crazy. It was fun. It was full of drama. It felt like the most important time ever in the history of anyone’s life ever. It felt like it was going to last forever and I was totally OK with that. I hated change.

If 19 year old Suzanne were suddenly dropped into my living room, she’d be totally horrified. She’d think I was boring and kind of fat and oh my GOD when was the last time I had my eyebrows done? What do you mean I haven’t seen a movie in a theater in a year? How is it possible that you spent your weekend vacuuming and thought that was a good time? And ew, breastfeeding, really?

But 19-year old Suzanne was shallow and vain and selfish. She made a lot of bad choices. She didn’t love anybody as much as she loved herself. She was only an average student, an average friend, an average employee. She was not always a nice person. So I don’t really care what she thinks.

My life now may be boring but I have a beautiful son.

I may be kind of fat but I’m strong and healthy.

The bad choices I make these days are more like eating french fries than possibly ruining someone’s life.

I love where I am now and wouldn’t give back the last eight years for anything.

Besides, that guy we ran into? Was pushing a cart full of diapers for his three kids.

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6 Responses to “Dear Past, Meet Now”

  1. Other Erin says:

    Selfish and shallow 18 year old Erin loved 19 year old Suzanne. :)

  2. Emmie Bee says:

    I know exactly what you mean. <3 I love that grown up me doesn't give two shits about 19 year old me. Yes, Friday nights are a bit tamer- but seriously? I have never been happier.

  3. Jill says:

    i just got a little choked up. i feel like my life is the best its EVER BEEN at this stage of the game too!

  4. sarrible says:

    I thought 19-year-old was a pretty good friend. She was, in fact, an excellent hostess. As is Present Suzanne. So that’s the same.

  5. Erin says:

    I feel like even though we’ve lost most of our 19 year old selves we got to keep each other so we got the best part :)…..Oh, and Evan.

  6. Lindsey says:

    Oh, I loved this! 19 year old me would have still been sleeping on Saturday mornings (or at least would be watching tv hungover) when I am now out running errands or cleaning the house. I would never take back any of those crazy college years…because they probably brought me to where I am today…soooo happy!

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