Diapers: Not just for babies anymore

Considering my last pregnancy only ended 13 months ago, you’d think I could remember simple stuff like OMG DID YOU KNOW MORNING SICKNESS ISN’T JUST IN THE MORNING?!?!?! and SOMETIMES FOOD YOU USED TO LOVE IS SUDDENLY GROSS! I mean, I know am the first pregnant person ever in the history of the world but how come I forgot these things already?

Some stuff is new this time. Some really, really not fantastic stuff. Like how when the morning sickness does hit first thing in the morning I have to run to the bathroom to empty my always full  bladder (serious baby, how are you kicking me in the bladder when you are smaller than my finger nail????) or I pee myself a little when I throw up. Dry heave, pee. Dry heave, pee. Sneeze, pee a little more, just because it’s so much fun. I bet no one ever you told you THAT joyous bit of second-pregnancy news before. Congrats! You need Depends!

I don’t remember being this tired last time either, although that might be because I slept through my whole first pregnancy. I was like a real-life Disney princess, deep in an endless slumber,only wakened by true love’s kiss. And by true love’s kiss I mean bacon. It may also have something to do with the toddler-sized hell demon I chase after all day and still get up to feed at night. Possibly. I’m hoping I get that second-trimester energy back with a vengeance or nothing is every going to get done around here ever again. Bebeh #2 is going to be sleeping in a drawer for sure.

Also, although my scale says I haven’t gained any weight (although that was before the THREE cheeseburgers yesterday) the button on my jeans is already at Busting Threat Level Red. My “bump” this time is going to be closer to a “giant misshapen abdominal tumor” and I can’t even blame people for asking insipid questions like “Wow, are you STILL pregnant?” or “You’re due WHEN??????” starting around month five. My poor ab muscles have already given up and are on suicide watch. They ask that you please send candy. But not chocolate. Because for some God-forsaken reason, this fetus hates chocolate. Even thinking about the brownie I ate last night makes me want to throw up again. And I really can’t do that. I’m all out of dry underwear.

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7 Responses to “Diapers: Not just for babies anymore”

  1. Amanda says:

    Oh thank you for this little bit of loveliness! My first pregnancy was a breeze and this makes me pause now and think…… hmmm. We will just have to see!

  2. Audrey says:

    haha! Yeah, I pee a little all the time with this pregnancy and it is super embarrassing. The husband just doesn’t understand. I’m like some incontinent old relative he’s hiding away in a home, only the home is the one he has to return to. Sneeze, pee. Cough, pee. Oh, I think my bladd-pee. *sigh* And yes, I was also feeling very very tired the first trimester. I recall being tired the first pregnancy, but not this tired. I am here to report that I got my energy back times two when I hit 2nd trimester and odds are good you will too!

  3. SarahMC says:

    “And by true love’s kiss I mean bacon.”

    Hahaha!

  4. Kimberly says:

    awesome & true! I did get a burst of energy in the 2nd tri, but now I get winded going up the stairs. Hubby laughs at me. In maternity pants, but I still haven’t gained weight… I should be worried, but I’m secretly kind of happy.

  5. Aunt Katie says:

    Be lucky you don’t have 2 (twins) at one time. 14 years later I still need a diaper when I cough, sneeze or throw up.

  6. FourInchHeels says:

    Aunt Katie is scaring me. Peeing while preggers I think I can handle since it’s temporary and I’ve got a built in excuse (NOT diminishing how irritating it would be at the time. Promise.) …. but 14 years later? *whimper*

  7. I peed when I threw up during my FIRST pregnancy.

    I’m totally screwed.

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