So the other day I was sitting on the couch when something started to stink. The obvious answer to the “who crapped their pants?” question around here is Baby Evan, so I demanded he come over and let me stick my face in his butt immediately. I said, mostly to myself, “How do you smell buddy?”

And this was my answer.

and P.S. The thing he has in his hand at the end is a baby wipe, with which he is wiping things. Because the clean-up game is his new favorite.

– 30 seconds after I get the cranky, screaming, angry baby to take a nap and FINALLY sit down my husband walks in the door and looks disapprovingly at the mess.

– If we are ten minutes early leaving the house the baby will poop as I’m putting him in the car seat.

– The nights I am absolutely starving are the nights I have nothing planned for dinner.

– If I cut up gallons of fruit/vegetables/wise and healthy options for Baby Evan he refuses to eat anything but Goldfish.

– If I DON’T cut up gallons of fruit/vegetables/wise and healthy options for Baby Evan he screams and throws his Goldfish on the floor because he hates them.

– Baby nap time is always over before mommy nap time can start.

– My house is always in the worst state of disaster when someone stops by unexpectedly.

– Five minutes after someone tells me I look fantastic and barely pregnant at all someone else will tell me “Oh my God you’re huge! Look at that bump!!!”

– The sharpest, pointiest toy is the one that gets left on the floor of the dark hallway to be stepped on.

– The baby will do a great job scribbling with a crayon until I stop looking. Then he eats it.

– The 2% of the floor that is wet/sticky is the part I will step in.

– As soon as I tell someone my pregnancy so far has been totally uneventful and mostly symptom free I’m hit with a wave of morning sickness.

– The days I think I look really cute are the days I’m walking around with half my bra showing or my shorts on inside out, both of which I have done this week.

– I will run out of both deodorant and toothpaste on the sweatiest, grossest day of the year.

– The laundry will all be dirty again before I even get it folded and put away.

– Whatever my husband is doing right at the moment I need his help with something else is the ABSOLUTE MOST ANNOYING THING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.

Warning: Epic number of pictures below.

Since we’re still recovering from a terrible horrible case of overreactionitis, my Happy Monthday Baby! post is going to be sort of lame. I promise to make up for it tomorrow with a video of Baby Evan’s best tricks, including answering the question “how do you smell?” and the unofficial baby sign for “oh no!!”

15 Month Milestones from Baby Center

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
• Plays with ball – Baby Evan loves balls and is pretty good at throwing them, except when he accidentally drops them behind his back
• Uses three words regularly – No, Dog, and More is his entire vocabulary, besides the sign for “milk”
• Walks backward – Can also run backwards. In circles.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
• Scribbles with a crayon – Uh, maybe, but I’m not crazy enough to give him one. I don’t have the time to repaint.
• Runs – Very well, especially towards danger.
• Adopts “no” as his favorite word – I think his favorite word is “dog” but no is definitely a very very close second.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
• “Helps” around the house – If by “help” you mean “removes the clean silverware from the dishwasher and throws it on the floor” or “steals the broom so he can hit the dog and knock stuff off the counters with it” then yes, he’s very very helpful.
• Puts his fingers to his mouth and says “shhh” – Aw, that would be so cute! But no.

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In other news, I’m doing my very first guest post today(I think. It’s not up yet because it’s ungodly early or maybe she changed her mind about it. I wouldn’t blame her)  ! Squee and OMG and I can’t believe someone is willing to risk their own blog’s reputation on my crap writing. Nicci at Changing the Universe is doing a whole series of vacation stories so today I’m sharing mine, including some truly priceless childhood photos from my grandparent’s lake house. Be sure to check it out and PLEASE leave me some comments so she doesn’t regret asking me to guest blog!

We went to Pennsylvania on Thursday for my real-life-best-friend Erin’s son’s first birthday party, which was lovely and very fun and such a special event to be included in. The boys got along well (or as well as a couple of one-year-olds can be expected to get along) and we got to check out the new (very old) house Erin and her husband Mitch just bought. We don’t get to see these friends nearly enough so a couple days visiting was awesome.

Unfortunately, about thirty seconds after we left to drive down there, Baby Evan’s nose started running like a faucet. He went from being miserable and snotty to happy and snotty and back several times an hour the whole trip, peaking with what may have been a fever late Thursday and sleeping 12 hours straight Friday night. But he’s 100% better today.

I’m really hoping it’s just teething. It probably is. Definitely. Maybe. But there’s also the teeniest tiniest chance it’s fifth disease. I know a friend whose kids had fifth last week so we MIGHT have been exposed, although I haven’t seen any of the kids in more than a month and the friend in at least a week. I’m not worried about Baby Evan – it’s not life threatening or even particularly unpleasant, but it can be very serious to the fetus if a pregnant woman catches it. It can cause anemia in the unborn baby, sometimes severe enough to cause death although the internet assures me that is very unlikely. Pretty unlikely. Probably. Maybe.

I really shouldn’t have Googled it.

So right now we’re just playing a waiting game to see if Baby Evan gets a rash some time in the next couple days. If he’s fine Monday and Tuesday I’ll breathe a big sigh of relief and forget all about it. If he has even the teeny tiniest of red spots, I’m calling my OB and asking for the blood test to see if I’m either already immune or already infected. Of course, every time I sniffle or get tired or think “ugh my head hurts” my brain goes OMG EMERGENCY!!!! and I consider calling the 24-hour on call line. Not that it would do any good – I really doubt routine blood work is something they would send me to the ER to do and there’s no way the office is open on a Sunday and probably closed Monday as well.

For now, I’m going to try to relax and enjoy the rest of our holiday and have fun going through the 300+ pictures from the party. Like this one:

For the record, that's Reid's brand new birthday toy my kid is using. Incorrectly.