Yesterday, while caring for both children, I…

Got the car emissions test done
Renewed my driver’s license
Mailed a package at the post office
Took Caroline to the lab at the hospital for her lead test
Went to BJ’s
Got copies of Caroline’s birth certificate from town hall
Filled up the car at the gas station
Did ALL the dishes and cleaned the kitchen
Did ALL the laundry, including the sheets
Put away ALL the laundry
Made dinner
Made dessert
Remembered to wash my face
Did not completely lose my mind

Today, I am…

Taking a nap

The End

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I am torn on whether or not doing ALL THE THINGS on one day is a good system, and I think we should discuss it.

Pros: Our usual Stroller Strides/playtime schedule  means I only have time for one or two errands BEFORE nap time and the kids are always a mess if I try to take them out AFTER nap time, so taking a day out of the week to get everything done seems like a good idea. Plus if I’m going to haul the kids in and out of the car a few times I might as well do it a LOT of times. I love crossing so much stuff list in quick succession – Check! Check! Check!! Once I get on a roll, I stay on a roll for a long time and my roll spirals into a super clean and organized house/life without lots of hemming and hawing and eye rolling about how much I don’t want to be doing it. And it’s true that once the house is clean it’s easier to keep it that way – I am less likely to throw dishes in the sink instead of putting them directly in the dishwasher if the sink is totally empty. Mostly, I am no longer totally overwhelmed by all the things I know I need to take care of but dread doing.

Cons: I usually only get to the point were I NEED to do all the things after weeks and weeks of avoiding and putting off and honestly should have done most of it a long time ago. It is really, really exhausting to drag the kids to so many places in one day and they really, really don’t like being dragged. When I am PLANNING to do all the stuff at once I don’t bother even TRYING to keep up with it on a regular basis so my laziness spirals out of control. On the days when I am doing all the things I end up ignoring the kids – obviously it is hard to ignore them in public, but at home they watch too much TV and eat snacks off the floor while I try to organize just ONE MORE junk drawer. No matter how much I DO get done, there are still MORE things on my list so I’m still a little overwhelmed.

Wow, that was also exhausting. I think I need another nap. Or maybe I need to suck it up and stop thinking so much about what I have to do and just do it.

This shop has been compensated as part of a social shopper insights study for Collective Bias, but all opinions and photos are my own. You know, in case you thought McDonald’s had stock photos of my kids. #CBias

We obviously watch too much Fresh Beat Band in our house, because every time I told Evan we were going to get lunch and a smoothie he said “Kiki Shout smoothies?” Unfortunately for him, the only smoothie place I know of around here is McDonald’s and while it’s still pretty groovy, no one broke into song or choreographed a dance for us while we were there. Bummer. (more…)

When you’re a mom, it’s important to take some time for yourself and continue to enjoy the things you used to before having kids…with a few minor modifications. Here’s a handy guide to your new life:

A relaxing spa day: Fluffy robe, aromatherapy massage, chatting with girlfriends, mimosa in the quiet room, pedicure.

Mom Version: Locking the bathroom door and peeing alone while your kids scream from the hallway and you sniff a bottle of baby shampoo.

Date Night: High heels, shaved legs, nice dress, sushi, bottle of wine, maybe a movie in a theater.

Mom Version: Flannel pants, pizza and Cars 2 because the Redbox at the grocery store was broken, in bed by 10 pm.

Shopping: Anthropologie, Pottery Barn, your favorite vintage shop, all while sipping a non-fat soy mocha latte.

Mom Version: Pushing a giant car-shaped cart through Target, buying shirts you didn’t trying on, sharing a slushy with a toddler who loudly demands new toys.

Going for a drive: Cruising in a convertible, stopping at a scenic overlook to take some photos, listening to classic rock

Mom Version: Circling the block for 45 minutes, playing Angry Birds on your phone in the driveway once the kids fall asleep.

Sleeping in: 11:30 am

Mom Version: 8 am

Cooking a gourmet meal: Blood Orange, Beet and Fennel Salad, Chard and Mushroom-Stuffed Breast of Veal,White Chocolate-Mint Pots de Crème with Candy Cane Brittle, $75 bottle of wine.

Mom version: Serving real grated Parmesan with the spaghetti instead of the powdered kind from a green can, wine someone gave you for Christmas 3 years ago

Vacation: Spur of the moment weekend getaway to Montreal, bed and breakfast, carriage ride, antiquing

Mom version: Disneyworld, planned a year in advance, breakfast with a person-sized Mickey Mouse that makes your kid cry

Wine tasting: At a vineyard

Mom Version: From a box

Seeing a show: Secret Radiohead concert at underground club you can only get into with a password

Mom Version: The Fresh Beat Band Live!

Romantic evening: Cocktails, fire place, lingerie, chocolate covered strawberries

Mom Version: Ahahahahaha what? I could be SLEEPING right now.

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See? Practically the same! What other Mom Life activities do you enjoy?

I AM GOING TO TALK ABOUT MY BOOBS A LOT NOW SO IF YOU ARE MY MALE SECOND COUSIN BY MARRIAGE MAYBE YOU SHOULD SKIP THIS POST TODAY. THANKS.

Yes, that actually was entirely necessary. Jimmy.

Breastfeeding Caroline has been cake. I learned so much the first time around that even when things were challenging I knew how to ask for what I needed (nipple cream) and how to do what worked for me (crying in the shower while hand expressing milk) and it took days rather than months for us to find our groove. I am so thrilled we made it a full year of exclusive breastfeeding, especially because I struggled so much after BlogHer I thought we might not. For me, breastfeeding is both a wonderful bonding experience and a wonderful chance to sit down several times a day. I am never going to look back on my baby’s babyhood and think “Damn, breastfeeding was such a mistake”.

That being said, I have decided to start weaning Caroline. Yes I know she is only a little more than a year old. Yes I know what the WHO recommends. Yes I know I don’t HAVE to. Yes I know there is no medical reason to wean. And I don’t need anyone to talk me out of trying – although I welcome your opinion – because my reasons are totally selfish and for once I am ALLOWING myself to be selfish. I am a selfish, selfish mama who wants her body to herself for a little while after three and a half years of pregnancy, breastfeeding or BOTH AT THE SAME TIME.

In March, I am going on an honest-to-goodness vacation with my husband to several tropical beaches by way of Princess Cruises. It is a Big Deal for us, our first vacation since having kids, and the only vacation longer than a weekend we’ve taken since our honeymoon. My folks are going to watch the kids and the dog and the house for us (cue panicked cleaning of closets and kitchen drawers because OMG my parents will be in my house without my supervision) and since they’re doing us such a huge favor I’d prefer to leave them with a baby who ISN’T expecting anyone to whip out a boob to help her get to sleep. Also, right now my body is still making enough milk for a baby who nurses 4 times a day (plus 2 or 3 times a night) and that would mean bringing a pump on vacation to keep my chest from exploding. Let me tell you, there is nothing sexier than whipping out my double electric Medela for a good milking before bed. Even just cutting back on the nursing would be better than nothing, although I’m hoping for a mostly weaned baby.

The problem is I have no idea how to go about it.

Weaning Evan was something I thought about constantly for months but when it happened it was sort of anticlimactic. He went from nursing all the time to giving it up completely in just a few weeks, but that was because of a pregnancy-related drop in my supply. I do NOT want to be pregnant on our vacation – it would put quite the damper on my goal of drinking my weight in pina coladas. But is there a natural way to decrease my supply? I suppose I could just do the OPPOSITE of all the things the experts suggest when you’re trying to increase your supply, but not drinking water, not sleeping, not eating extra calories and not taking care of myself seems like a poor choice. I have read sage can decrease milk supply and I happen to have a bunch of it lying around from our summer CSA but that sounds like an old wives tale. I know nursing moms are told not to take antihistamines because they can decrease supply, but do I really want to take a bunch of drugs while I’m still breastfeeding? (Short answer: no)

And then, despite what I said above about letting myself be selfish there’s the guilt I’m going to traumatize my baby if I stop. Caroline has always been a really independent little girl and she rarely nurses for comfort. She is affectionate and cuddly even when we’re not nursing so I’m not worried about losing all our mommy-daughter time. But she still has a midnight feeding (and sometimes a 2 am and a 4 am and a 5 am feeding) and those are HARD to drop. She still cries and tugs on my shirt if we go too long without nursing. Despite the fact that yesterday she had two mini waffles, a donut, an apple, blueberries, a Babybel cheese and half a yogurt for breakfast she still wanted to nurse for a minute before we left the house. Does she NEED it or does she just like the familiar? How can I possibly know? I’ve got 3 months to figure it out.

Truthfully, the period of time in a baby’s life where they are either breast or bottle fed is SO SMALL in the scheme of parenting (unless you are amongst the very most extreme extended breast feeders) that cutting her off a few months short of where she would have weaned naturally isn’t going to keep her from getting into Harvard some day. (I am going to repeat that to myself over and over and over for the next 3 months.) And when I come home from vacation if she wants to start nursing again I would be totally OK with that. I LIKE breastfeeding, as a thing. In general. When it’s not making me sick to my stomach with anxiety about leaving. Again. So right now I need all the weaning advice and anecdotes I can get.

I LOATH turning January 1st into some sort of magical diet-starting day, as if the flipping of a calendar page can somehow change all of my poor eating habits, rip out my crazy sweet tooth and give me the motivation to work out during every nap time instead of sitting on the couch watching Judge Judy. And with so many people kicking off their diets or fitness plans it feels like I can’t escape the constant deluge of advice and tips and tweeted pictures of sad little yogurt cups. Your yogurt makes me SAD, friends. Please throw some granola and a few berries on top. Personally, I think January is the WORST time to start a diet plan. Do you have seasonal amnesia? Do you REMEMBER what January is like in 75% of the country? Cold. Dark. Dreary. Miserable. Mind-numbingly boring. An endless stretch of nothingness punctuated by housebound snow days and pajama pants. If you love the symbolism of a brand new year as a fresh start towards your goals then go ahead, fight the crowds and sign up for that gym membership – but don’t be surprised when the siren song of pizza delivery and unplowed roads drives you totally insane. I vote we all start making Memorial Day Resolutions or Arbor Day Resolutions or National Day After National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day Resolutions instead.

That being said, as of Monday I’m back to strict point tracking with Weight Watchers and recommitted to attending Stroller Strides at least 4 days a week. Pot, kettle, etc etc. But the truth is with Caroline’s first birthday in my rear-view mirror, I have passed the “just had a baby” excuse for anything and I’m really sick of feeling like such a MOM in my body. I’m not even talking just about my weight. I actually don’t feel so bad about that. The 20-something pounds slash jean size I’ve already lost have done WONDERS for how I feel, especially when it comes to photos of myself. Go ahead! Snap a candid shot! From a low angle! I fully accept that those arms are attached to my torso!

What I really mean is I wear far too many stretchy pants and sweatshirts. I own jeans my own mother is too cool to be seen wearing in public. I haven’t had my hair cut and colored professionally since before I was pregnant. The first time. I am a grown-up with a mortgage and two kids and yet I still don’t wash my face before I go to bed. I cannot stop myself from eating an entire bag of candy if it’s anywhere in my house.  I haven’t gotten more than 4 hours of sleep in more than a year.

Whoa, that turned really whiny really fast. This is the least original post ever in the history of mom blogging – committing to taking better care of myself so I can feel better is like the super graphic but somehow still boring birth story of 2011.  Sorry for the self-pity parade, but it has been a Tough Week with a non-sleeping baby and no pints of ice cream to self-medicate and we did a goal setting exercise at Stroller Strides that made me thinking writing this stuff down somewhere where I could be held accountable might not be a bad idea.

So, here’s the facts:
I would like to lose 15 pounds before we take our super special bathing-suit based vacation in March
I would like to lose 30 more pounds total
When I get to 150 pounds, I get a new tattoo as a reward
When I get to my goal weight I get to buy a pair of REALLY EXPENSIVE jeans that REALLY FIT as a reward
I will get my hair cut/colored at a real salon where I have to make an appointment
I will get at least one pedicure this year (yikes)
I will wash my face at night – or at least MOST nights, or at least wipe it off with those cloth things

I’m not going to make some sort of promise to record my journey and document all my triumphs and set backs (pause for the collective sigh of relief) but I might mention it. And if you happen to see me hanging around Twitter making EAT ALL THE CANDY comments, maybe remind me I really really want that new tattoo.

tl;dr version – I’m turning 30 in April, so it’s time to stop feeling like shit about myself.