My sister-in-law Meghan had her baby girl on Friday! Cadence Brooke was born at 2:39 PM weighing 7 lbs and 14 oz. She is the first girl grandbaby in our generation and I am so excited to finally have a niece. I’m also insanely jealous of the crazy number of adorable dresses, headbands and lacy socks I know Meghan has in her nursery. Girl clothes are just so much CUTER.

Since I am full of good intentions but terrible at execution, Cadence’s baby gift didn’t make it home to her family before she did, but should be there soon! Until then, just show Cadence these pictures of her new friend. Computer screens are cuddly, right?

Teddy Bear pattern by Debbie Bliss from the book Simply Baby

Knit with Debbie Bliss Baby Cashmarino yarn - machine washable but still SUPER soft. I made and sewed on the little bow to make her special.

I hid the felt heart inside the bear before I stuffed it. If I was more talented I would have embroidered it but Sharpie on felt worked too.

Evan's (former zombie) Teddy sends his love with Cadence's teddy.

I’ve been thinking about taking orders for more bears from some local friends but I’m afraid my knitting skills aren’t really good enough to justify charging money. I guess I could sell them for just the cost of the yarn but the seaming takes SO MUCH time I would hate making them basically for free. I think I need a little more practice before I let my Etsy store dreams get out of hand.

Since learning my new skill back in October, I’ve become quite dedicated to knitting and am really enjoying this hobby. I’ve even managed to complete a few projects well enough to gift them to friends and family, although my pile of badly made baby hats is shamefully large. I just can’t bring myself to give away a project I messed up, and messing up is about 50% of knitting – it’s called “frogging” because when you rip out stitches you “rip-it rip-it”. It’s pretty much the cutest way ever of saying YOU SUCK AT KNITTING and should find an easier hobby.

Since about a zillion people I know are having babies, I bought a book of book of baby knitting patterns to get started on a few specific gifts. I also bought what I thought was enough yarn for three teddy bears in three different colors, one of which would be my practice bear for Baby Evan before I attempted one for REDACTED (Let’s just say someone who might read this). Unfortunately, between mistakes and my inability to judge how much of a tail I need to cast on, I ended up one ear short with my yarn. Then Baby Evan was so excited to play with his new toy he ran off with the snout piece and I cannot find in anywhere. So now I’m waiting for my yarn order before I can remake the nose, sew on the nose and ears, stuff the head, and attach it to the body. This is what the finished bear is SUPPOSED to look like:

ADORABLE! via Ravelry.com

And here’s what my bear currently looks like:

Skeptical cat is skeptical of Headless Zombie Bear.

Of course, since Baby Evan wouldn’t keep his hands of the pieces before they were even stuffed, he’s seeing nothing wrong with Headless Zombie Bear and has started dragging him around already.

Zombie Baby enjoys a snack of headless bear.

I’m tempted to just leave Headless Zombie Bear headless and zombie-fied. I think a headless bear lovie is hilarious and would like nothing better than to send Baby Evan off to his first sleep over with my sad, pathetic first try of a bear and have him explain to people no, it’s SUPPOSED to look like this. I could start a whole trend of creepy, headless stuffed animals. Or maybe that’s where serial killers come from and I should keep my dark sense of humor to myself.

p.s. LOVE THE NEW CAMERA. It makes my crowded room and giant pile of plastic baby toys look all soft and colorful. And I still don’t know what I’m doing. Also: no red eye on my Zombie Baby!

In the past 30 years, my wonderful husband has done a lot of stuff. He learned to play several instruments, kicked ass in marching band, became an Eagle Scout, graduated high school, saw The Matrix in the theater 79 times, decided college wasn’t for him (it interfered with Matrix-watching time), joined the Navy, survived boot camp, became a really excellent dancer, blazed up the military ranks at wild-fire speed, got married to your truly, adopted a dog, bought a house, traveled to Japan/Hawaii/Singapore/Greece/Gibraltar on a nuclear submarine, made Chief (E7) in less than 10 years, bought a boat,  and contributed 50%  of the genetic material needed to make Baby Evan. Next up, he’s hoping to get picked up as a Limited Duty Officer and contribute some more genetic material, several times over. Since most of E’s friends are internet-based (or deployed) and extended family is a 10-hour drive, we’re going to celebrate with a nice sushi dinner and some family time. But 30th birthdays are a Big Deal so I did my best to make it a (surprise) special occasion.

Happy Birthday Sweetheart!

When I got up to feed the baby at 5 am last night I also packed a lunch for E to take to work (so he wouldn't have to hike to the cafeteria in the snow). I also included some special treats.

I also decorated the dining room for the evening's cake eating.

Did you guess the theme yet?

Carrot cake with cream cheese whipped cream frosting - E's favorite. The frosting is slowing sliding off the cake (I made it too thin) but it TASTES absofrigginlutely delicious.

Baby Evan helped with the frosting.

And this is a picture from our craft project this morning, when Baby Evan made daddy his first of many birthday finger paintings. The gift is the only thing that's still a surprise.

I don't think the Crayola people had this in mind when they labeled it "non-toxic".

A high school friend I haven’t talked to in almost 10 years emailed me this week to ask for baby gift suggestions for her 6 month old niece. She’s still in the childless stage of life where the thought of buying a fun and age appropriate gift for someone else’s baby causes you to break out in a cold sweat, and as someone with a similarly aged child she thought I could provide some guidance. I was happy to make some suggestions, since I know I spent many a Christmas shopping trip staring blankly at the toy aisle debating whether I’d be better off just sending a card stuffed with cash (babies like cash, right? It’s crinkly.) Is a baby doll too boring? Is a baby doll that cries and poops too creepy? Are stacking blocks too simple? Is a tiny laptop too complicated? So as a public service announcement for anyone in a similar situation, here’s my list of suggested gifts for babies.

Fisher-Price Laugh & Learn Fun with Friends Musical Table

For ages 6 months+
This is Baby Evan’s current favorite toy in the wholebigwideword, unless you count the empty diaper box. Which I don’t, because every time I’m reminded he’d rather go naked, nurse directly from the breast, sleep in our bed, and play with empty boxes I die a little inside thinking of all the money we’ve wasted. But I digress. This table can also be used without the legs for babies who aren’t quite standing yet. It plays lots of different songs, which is very important so you don’t stab your eardrums out after hearing “One two three four five six seven eight! Then! There’s NINE! Counting’s really great!” for the eight hundredth time that day. Plus it’s educational and stuff, teaching colors, shapes and Spanish.  ($42.99)

Sophie the Giraffe

Ages 0-12 months
If you love your niece/nephew/cousin/boss’s kid but you don’t really love them $45 worth, get them a Sophie. The number of kids chewing on these at any park or playgroup speaks for itself. Sophie is BPA free and non-toxic too, so even your fancy friends will approve. ($20)

Tubby Tug Boat

Ages 6 months+
This is what E bought Baby Evan for Christmas, since he is in charge of bath time and related activities. The bebeh loves the water and now that he’s got the sitting up situation under control we’re going to abandon the baby tub (although we have LOVED the one my sister bought me until now and I highly recommend it as a shower gift) and let him splash in our extra large sized tub. Since we’re currently using a disposable plastic cup meant for olive oil or salsa to wash Baby Evan’s hair, this toy will be practical for Daddy as well as baby. ($18.99)

The MULA Collection from Ikea

Recommended for ages 12 months+ (but Baby Evan loves them now)
Oh Ikea, is there nothing you can’t do? Affordable modern furniture? Check. Irresistible duvet covers? Check. Classic wooden toys at unbeatable prices? Check. My mom and grandmother bought Baby Evan the stacking lighthouse, the hammer bench and the stacking cups during an Ikea run and he loooooves them. (Although the hammer became the first baby toy confused for dog chew toy casualty.)  ($5.99+)

Robeez

Ages 0-4 years
These are the leather gold standard for baby shoes, but at $30 a pop no one can afford to buy more than one or two pairs for their own kid. SOMETIMES they go on sale, SOMETIMES you can find them at outlets, and SOMETIMES BabySteals has them as their daily steal (for about 2 seconds before they sell out).  We have one real pair I got at 70% off and one fake pair from TJMaxx, but if someone sent me the whole winter collection I’d be thrilled. Baby Evan enjoys chewing on them just as much as he enjoys wearing them. The sizes are really non-specific, but since the shoes are soft being a little small or a little large doesn’t prevent them from still being awesome. ($22+)

A few more suggestions:

Bright Starts Teether Pals – Baby Evan has a blue elephant version from Target, his friend has the yellow lion, and these are two other options. The combination of plastic, soft and crinkly really keeps him happy when he’s fussing. ($5.99)
Baby’s First Photo Album – I can’t find the exact one online but I PROMISE they sell them in the infant section at Walmart. It’s a soft book with plastic pockets for photos. Bonus points if you pre-fill it with recent photographs of  long-distance family members so baby can learn what Aunt Edna and Uncle Bert look like. ($12.99)
Earth Mama Angel Baby/California Baby Products – I love both these brands but they’re on the expensive side for everyday use. Buy your mama friend some baby wash, diaper cream, shampoo or baby oil, plus a little extra something for herself. ($12+)
BOOKS – Since most parents already have Goodnight Moon and Green Eggs & Ham, you’ll have to be a little more creative to find really good children’s books not on their shelf. I recommend searching Amazon for “reading rainbow books” to find amazing titles that have been forgotten or overlooked for the newest generation but may make Mom and Dad nostalgic for the days when you didn’t have to take my word for it! ($4.99+)

(Disclaimer: The links above that connect to Amazon have my Amazon Associates seller code embedded in them, which means if you click through and make a purchase I get a share of the sale. Which works out to approximately four cents. I actually recommend checking your local big box retailer – or special local baby store! – for baby toys first, since the sales this year are amazing.)

I am obsessed with knitting. OBSESSED. Which is a really strong feeling for someone who’s only knit two badly misshapen baby washcloths and knows almost nothing. But my plans are huge – HUGE I TELL YOU.  I’ve already ordered several balls of yarn, a bunch of needles and a pattern for a hat and scarf that is FAR too ambitious for my very minimal skill set. Luckily I have that set of moms in the Mother of Purl group who can hold my hand through the beginning stages and the vocabulary and remind me not to knit with the long tail AGAIN because I won’t get very far. I don’t think time is going to be a problem because knitting is a perfect evening activity. It’s just as mind numbing and calming and just as easy to do while watching crappy TV as Bejewled or Tetris or Twitterstalking but you actually have something to show for your time when you’re done. And hopefully the things I have to show are adorable little baby socks and accessories. If you have children, better start practicing your “It’s beautiful! I love it!” face because there is a really crooked baby hat not too far in your future. YOU’RE WELCOME.

There’s actually a fairly high chance I’ve just spent a bunch of money on a hobby I’m going to give up or get tired of in a couple months. Quitting my hobbies is sort of my hobby.