I signed up for Audrey’s handmade exchange with some misgivings – not because I didn’t think I would get a wonderful gift, but because between Caroline’s party and Christmas I wasn’t sure I’d be able to make anything even REMOTELY worth sending to another crafty person. I managed to get something in the mail (although I STILL haven’t sent my recipient my guest post) but the really pleasant surprise was a beautiful pouch and delicious macaroons from MY secrket gifter. Check out her guest post below!

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Hello!  I am Kelley.  My blog is Casa Crafty where I write about my many crafting experiments, my family and day to day life.

This year, I thought it would be fun to participate in the Handmade Sekret Holiday Exchange from Audrey at Planet Hausfrau.

I did have fun! Although, it is difficult to make something for a stranger, so I searched and read and combed through this here blog to get as much insight into Suzanne as I could.

 

 

I am a knitting machine! Well, no, not an actual knitting machine – which is a thing – but someone who has been doing a lot of knitting. I am BETTER than a machine, because all my stuff is made with love. And baby slobber. And dog hair. But mostly love.

Here’s what’s been on my needles:

I saw a pair of knit leggings on Pinterest a few weeks ago (which of course I didn’t repin, so I can’t link to the picture now) and thought “hey, I could totally do that”. So I did. Patternless, off the top of my head. Unfortunately, although he was EXTREMELY happy to model them for these photos, yellow leggings don’t really go with the rest of Little Evan’s wardrobe – so these have been shipped off to someone who I know will look even cuter in them.

Pumpkin hat. Caroline’s got one too. Pattern half made up in my head, half from this site.

My first try at this adorable knit necklace my friend Megan made based on the pattern here. It’s two strips knit separately and woven together. You can wear it this way or reverse it for a different braid pattern. I’m going to make a dozen more.

I was afraid I had waited too long to finish this dress I started in the spring, and Caroline would have grown out of the small size before I was done, but with a onesie and leggings it’s still perfect for fall. I’ve never knitted pleats before and was worried they were above my skill level but it turns out they’re totally manageable – even for the kind of disjointed, interrupted, stop and start knitting I do most of the time. (The pattern is called Fiona Baby Sundress and is available for free on Ravelry as a download.)

Classic nautical pea coat buttons in fun colors

Love the pointed hood

If you’ve been around for a while, you might remember me knitting Phoebe Mouse and Phoebe’s sweater. The book also included a toddler sized version of the doll sweater – unfortunately, it was for a 2 year old and my baby is a peanut. So I used the pattern for the mouse-sized coat and did a little math and made it Caroline sized. I’m SO EXCITED that it fits and that she has a beautiful fall coat now. It makes me feel like Caroline Ingalls (who is honest to God one of my actual heroes) that something I made is so FUNCTIONAL. It’s more than a hobby! I make CLOTHES.

I wanted to finish this cowl before I wrote a post about what I was knitting, so I sped through the last 2 inches during every spare minute yesterday. My husband literally took this picture for me at 9:30 last night. It’s the most basic cowl you can possibly make (cast on an odd number of stitches, knit 1 purl 1 until it’s long enough, bind off) but I help the multi-toned yarn double so it’s super warm and comfy.

And finally, one more quick bunny I’ve had 50% finished on a stitch holder since BlogHer in August. It took less than 10 minutes to finish and it feels SO GOOD to now having it staring at me every time I open my knitting bag. FACELESS BUNNY WAS JUDGING ME.

Now all I have to do is finish the sweater I started for E a full year ago – and the one I started for myself even longer ago than that. WHY can’t person-sized sweaters be as fast and fun and easy as baby stuff?! But I will get them done. It’s what Ma Ingalls would want.

I am a sucker for crafty, homemade, small business, or handmade stuff. There is a reason my Paypal balance never stays positive for more than a few days. Here are some of my most recent purchases (plus a one-of-a-kind gift from a friend that is going to make you squee with cuteness). If you have a baby, are expecting a baby, know someone having a baby or just love heandbands, this will be very very bad for your wallet.

Don't even think about taking my animal crackers

Diaper clutch

How much do you love that fabric? LOVE. I won a store credit from Bird E Studios last year and spent it on a gorgeous baby blanket with this print on it. The quality was outstanding and I liked it so much I asked Erika if she could make me a matching bib and diaper clutch. She did – but the post office lost them somewhere between the West Coast and the East Coast. When I mentioned it to Erika she sent me replacement items and told me if the other ones showed up I should just give them to someone as a gift. Is that great customer service or what?! (Sadly, they never did show up. Stupid post office.)

Bebeh shoes

Have you signed up for Heartsy? I heart Heartsy. It’s like Groupon, but for Etsy shops. If you sign up here, you get a $5 credit after your first purchase (also, I get a $5 credit so go do that, OK?) I bought a gift certificate for $9 to Weepereas and got $24 to spend in the shop, which covered a pair of adorable reversible baby shoes, plus the shipping. These have TINY SHEEP on one side and little blue circles on the other. Perfect soft shoes for Caroline.

There are TWO things I love in this photo. Three if you count Caroline. The super cute crochet turtle was a gift from my friend Ashley (it MIGHT have been for Little Evan, but don’t tell the baby. She loooves it). Ashley has a shop on Etsy or check out her Facebook page for more crocheted dolls and animals.

Second is the headband I bought Caroline for my sister-in-law’s wedding from Audry & Ulric. Can’t beat the extremely reasonable prices and free shipping. I think I’m going to buy the sunflower or the water lily ones next.

Despite The Face, she does love her Giddy Up and Grow headbands. Or maybe I’m projecting because they are seriously amazing – the details are like art. I showed the site to my friend Megan right after I ordered this one…and she bought 2 of her own immediately. They’re impossible to resist!

Allora Handmade headband, obviously. It looks fantastic with her vintage pinnafore. How much do I love dressing her in something called a pinafore? SO MUCH.

And do you see what she’s gnawing on? That right there is the best handmade baby gift EVER:

Flat Chicken. My internet friend Audrey invented the pattern from her own head. It’s seriously genius – Caroline loves the silky ribbon tail and the bumpy comb and the pointy feet for chewing. I brought it with us to a doctor’s checkup and our nurse would NOT STOP gushing over it. She eventually asked if she could take a picture to try and recreate one for her daughter. So Audrey, OBVIOUSLY you need to make these available to people besides me.

And last but not least, my darling Emily from Uff Da Deigns made the beautiful baby dress and those adorable felt flowers, which are actually clippies attached to a stretchy headband. Super useful now when Caroline’s hair is still too fine for barrettes but they’ll be useable for years and years (and can also be borrowed by mamas who love felt flowers too). The trio flower clips are coming to the Etsy shop soon, but because I *might* be her best customer, Emily made me a couple already. Is there ANYTHING she makes that I don’t love? (Answer: NO).

Have you ordered anything yet? Don’t worry, I’ll do this again in the next couple weeks with non-baby related stuff for my non-mom friends. I’m an addict. It’s cool.

Blah de blah hopefully unnecessary disclosure because you KNOW always honest with you: I bought all this crap with my own cash money and/or got them as legit gifts from friends who had no idea I was going to blog their crafty talents. I’m just sharing because I like sharing.

What’s that you say? It’s January and so no one CARES about Christmas anymore? Blah blah blah I CAN’T HEAR YOU.

I realized after I had wrapped and mailed all my gifts this year that I really went overboard with the knitting. I mean, sure scarves are awesome, but maybe someone would like a gift that isn’t quite so…heartfelt. Stuff from the store is nice too. Like a Starbucks gift card. Or a bottle of wine. Or a Starbucks gift card AND a bottle of wine. But hey, it’s been really cold this winter so hopefully everyone’s using their fair trade Latin American artisan gifts and thinking nice warm thoughts about me.

If it helps, next year I promise not to be so crafty.

For my dad

Gray cabled scarf made with undyed eco-wool – which means this color came straight off a sheep. I think that’s REALLY COOL and kept telling random people about because LOOK, it’s SHEEP COLORED WOOL I am impressed and amazed at something that is neither impressive or amazing! It’s also about 6 inches shorter than it should be but the cable pattern was driving me BONKERS so…I quit. Sorry Dad.

For my friend Erin

This is my favorite scarf pattern to knit. It works with lots of different yarn, it’s fast, and it’s really useful – you can wrap it several different ways and use any of the holes as button holes…

For my sisters-in-law

…Which explains why both of my husband’s sisters got the same scarf knit with sparkly yarn. I should really make one of these for myself so I’m not tempted to keep other people’s presents.

For my mother

Ok, so the mittens were a total failure – my mom is a small person so I made them a little smaller than the pattern called for…and ended up making teeny tiny thumbs even my toddler can’t wear. Because when I tried for “a little bit smaller” I basically made them for a double thumb amputee. Since Mom did not tragically lose any fingers to frostbite (Yet! Without mittens she might! And then these will be SO USEFUL! See, I’m just PLANNING AHEAD) I made Mom the cowl to make up for the defective mittens. It’s just a big tube knit with super soft sock yarn and again I was VERY tempted to keep it. I need to go buy another skein and start on one for myself. Right after I finish the TWELVE project I’m currently working on/already bought the yarn for/promised to make for people.

For my friend Sara

This right here may be the MOST AWESOME thing I have ever knit. It is an exact replica of the Ravenclaw House scarf from the Harry Potter movies (also the books, but in the books Ravenclaw colors are blue and gold)(there’s some useless knowledge you’ll never get out of your head). If you watch the movies though, Hogwarts upperclassmen wear a different scarf and for a while I considered ripping this one out and making the other version – because my friend Sara is obviously not 11 and would certainly be an upperclassman at Hogwarts – until I remembered IT’S A BOOK YOU IDIOT. THERE IS NO ACTUAL MAGIC SCHOOL. But despite its lack of wizard powers, it’s still super warm and long and I hope it’s keeping Sara’s face from freezing off as she walks around NYC.

For my nephews and niece

And this one wins for most creative gift I gave this year. It’s a pair of mittens for each of my sister-in-law’s kids – kid, toddler and baby sized – and a copy of The Mitten by Jan Brett. I WIN AT CLEVERNESS. I even made the mittens red (unlike the white one in the book) so they would be easy to see and find in the snow.

Things I didn’t take pictures of: fingerless gloves for my BFF, a nice warm hat for her husband, and approximately 20 coffee coozies. I still need to make 4 or 5 more as “Sorry I didn’t get this to you in time for Christmas but I was busy giving birth” presents, but now I’m busy with keeping that thing I gave birth to alive. It’s really cutting into my knitting time.

Here’s today’s parenting tip: Do not read to your child, especially if you value your sanity.

I don’t know why I was in such a hurry for my kid to like books. Obviously I didn’t remember just how mind-numbingly boring most books aimed at small children are. MIND NUMBINGLY BORING. We’re not talking classics like Little House on The Prairie or Where the Wild Things Are or even Harold and the Purple Crayon He’s Probably Going To Fall On and Accidentally Stab Through His Eyeball Because He’s Not Very Smart. Those are stories. The crap aimed at the diaper-wearing crowd is just colors and noises infused with some sort of toddler-brain crack that gets them hooked and then you’re forced to read the same eight words over and over and over to avoid the horrible toddler crack brain withdrawal meltdown that ends when you give in and slowly shove bamboo splinters under your own nails while pointing out the doggie and the ball and the triangle and the cloud and the DEAR GOD PLEASE TAKE ME NOW.

Seriously, HIDE THE BOOKS.

Or if you still want to be a “Good Parent” and encourage “literacy” and “education” and all that BS, just read to them from adult books you actually enjoy – and avoid these in particular:

Trucks Go by Steve Light

THE GARBAGE TRUCK GOES: BURBABA BURBABA BURBABA SCREECH BEEP BEEP BEEP CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH.

I can keep going if you want. I’ve got the damn thing memorized.

Unless you want truck noises taking up valuable space in your brain for the rest of your life, never ever ever let your kid see this book. The bright colors and the random noises are immensely entertaining to small children while being seizure inducing in sane adults.

Baby Einstein Let’s Look!: First Look and Find

I did not buy this book. Obviously the “friend” who gave it to me clearly isn’t a “friend” at all, since I wouldn’t give this to my worst enemy. It’s actually a whole set of terrible books with these crazy unidentifiable animals dressed as people (anteater? REALLY? my toddler is supposed to know that?) doing ridiculous things while you read poetry even less well written than “There once was a man from Nantucket” and encourage your child to point at the red birdie and the blue drum and the…what the heck is that? A telescope? You want my baby to find a TELESCOPE? How about we work on basic body parts before we get to astronomy equipment, mmkay?

I usually just throw this one behind a chair. Somehow Baby Evan keeps finding it anyway.

Knuffle Bunny: A Cautionary Tale by Mo Williams

Don’t let the fancy awards and accolades and reviews on Amazon fool you. Right in the middle of the rather disturbing tale of a child whose horrible, careless father LOSES her beloved stuffed animal there are three pages of NOISES. Yelling noises. Noises that will make your kid laugh hysterically and cause him to bring you this book over and over and over until you’re tempted to just “lose” it in the washing machine too.

Bee tee double you: Can someone PLEASE tell me how to say “Knuffle Bunny”???? Is it a silent K like knife? Is it “kan-uffle?” I need to KNOW these things so I don’t send my kid to preschool totally confused. WARS HAVE BEEN FOUGHT OVER LESS THAN THIS.

Monkey About with Chimp and Zee by Catherine and Laurence Anholt

There is a page in this book that says you should lick it. LICK IT. I’m even more disturbed because this too is a hand-me-down book, which means someone else has probably licked it. The rest of it’s not that bad – very short – but that’s sort of like saying “Well yes, the meal at that restaurant was lovely besides the part where I found a pubic hair in my salad.”

Peek-A Who? by Nina Laden

The whole book is just stuff that rhymes with “who”. Moo, zoo, boo, choo-choo. It takes approximately 24 seconds to read the entire thing (even including the baby kissing the mirror on the last page because he luuuurves the bebeh in the book). Which means you can read the whole thing approximately 150 times in an hour. And you will. Better get those bamboo shoots ready for your fingernails. Or at least some special Mommy-juice.

A Child’s Good Night Book by Margaret Wise Brown

Don’t let the adorable illustrations and calming words and the charming bedtime prayer at the end fool you. This book is…short…and…nice…and…OK, fine. This is pretty much my favorite kid’s book ever. We read it when we wake up. We read it at naptime. E reads it to Baby Evan before bed. And I would happily read this fourteen bazillionty times a day – no stupid rhymes, no goo-goo-ga-ga, no talking down to children, no activities. Just beautiful words and pictures and a few minutes with a peaceful baby in my lap. Damn you Margaret Wise Brown and your fantastic children’s books.

I guess maybe I’ll keep reading to my kid after all.

(Disclaimer: The links above are through my Amazon Associates account. So if for some TOTALLY INEXPLICABLE REASON you decide you actually want to purchase any of these terrible terrible books I get something like three cents commission. Which isn’t even close to enough money to pay for the shrink I need to see to get the damn garbage truck out of my brain.)