Parents waste a lot of time wondering what their kids are going to be when they grow up. You can’t help it when you spend 24 hours a day with this little person who has the potential to be almost anything. Despite the stereotype of every mother wanting her kid to be a doctor, most parents probably have more realistic expectations than kids themselves. I spent most of my childhood planning to be the world’s first astronaut-ballet dancer-marine biologist-movie star. That didn’t work out so well.  But it doesn’t stop me from projecting just a liiiiiittle bit onto poor Baby Evan.

Baby Evan sits on the dog – He loves animals! He’s going to be a vet!

Baby Evan chews on a board book – He loves books! He’s going to be a famous writer!

Baby Evan falls off the couch – What a daredevil! Maybe he’ll be a skydiving instructor!

Baby Evan kisses my toes – He clearly has an interest in feet. He’s going to be a podiatrist!

Baby Evan eats trash – What an adventurous palate! I bet he wins Top Chef one day!

But the truth is, I don’t care if Baby Evan is any of those things. I don’t care if he’s rich or poor or single or married or owns a mansion or only owns a cardboard box. He can be a successful businessman or a starving artist. He can live in New York or LA or Paris or Sydney or my basement. None of that stuff matters (although if he does live in my basement you better believe he’ll be paying rent and mowing the lawn).

I just want him to be happy.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mamas, mama-to-bes, and future mamas!

For some reason, the first half of my photos were totally overexposed. Some were so washed out they were practically blank. The ones that were salvageable with a photo program ended up looking pretty cool though.

12 weeks ago I posted about the Get Fit Challenge at my Stroller Strides class and how pathetic I was for only being able to do 8 push-ups. Well 12 weeks is apparently more than enough time to see an improvement if you go to class almost every single day because this morning I did 20 PUSH UPS. 20 real, straight leg, not so wimpy after all push-ups. I still don’t think they’d pass boot-camp inspection but they certainly weren’t easy.

I also improved my plank hold from 1 minute 7 seconds to 1 minute 31 seconds, which was pretty good considering it was after those damn push-ups. Not so much improvement in my crunches (53 last time, 56 this time) but in my own defense ab exercises have been making me nauseous this week so I may not have tried as hard as I should. PREGNANT LADY EXCUSES, I HAS THEM.

I didn’t write down my time on the shuttle run last time but my time today was 10.3 seconds which sure SOUNDS impressive. We’ll call that an improvement too. I need all the positive reinforcement I can get from my actual fitness though since after 12 weeks of working out at least 5 days a week, making healthy choices like salad instead of french fries and not buying a single bag of candy I lost a whopping…zero pounds. Zero. I weigh exactly the same thing I did when we started. My SS instructor told me it was totally OK! I clearly gained muscle mass! I’m pregnant! (MORE EXCUSES, WE HAS THEM) but it’s still heart-crushingly disappointing. I was hoping to be down enough that this pregnancy’s weight gain couldn’t possibly put me over -insert own personal horrifyingly high number here- but no such luck. I guess I’ll just have to wait another 9 months before I can start a crash new diet.

Until then, I’ll just keep doing push ups.

Doesn’t really mean what it did back in college, huh?

No really, I'm ok over here just waving the hose around.

See, me and this hose is friends. Friends forever. Who don't squirt each other in the face.

MAYBE I should go check out that giant beach ball with the water squirting out of it. It seems sort of suspicious.

No, that was not a wise choice.

Poor choices Baby Evan. Although this is actually a cleaner version of the baby than earlier in the day.

I totally forgot that babies continue to grow once you get past 12 months. For some reason I had gotten it into my head that after his first birthday Baby Evan would just continue to be one forever. Which, actually, wouldn’t be so bad. It’s a pretty good age. If you don’t count the teething, which could really be said about almost any baby age. Oh teething.

Chillin' at Stroller Strides, still our favorite way to start the morning. Despite the obvious AWESOMENESS of that hat he refuses to keep it on more than 30 seconds.

On the super cool milestone front, yesterday E taught Baby Evan to climb up AND slide down his Little Tikes plastic slide by himself. There was only one falling-on-his-head incident, which is normal for an average day around here. Baby Evan sometimes falls on his head just from looking at the dog wrong. I’m really impressed he has the gross motor skills and the kind of control over his limbs it takes to climb a ladder, swing his legs around under him and push down a slide, especially since until recently the best he could do was kick the slide end and whine when I told him not to climb up that way. Although I think this means trips to the playground can no longer be called “leisurely” – the slide there is like 14 FEET TALL. Head-falling from that height is not so fun.

This picture makes my teeth hurt. Why my child is the only person on the planet who things gnawing on tin foil is fun is beyond me.

As far as the food thing goes, well, I almost don’t want to talk about it since things have improved so so so much it’s not worth jinxing. I’m willing to risk the wrath of the mommy-gods with almost ANYTHING ELSE (including sleep, as in, we night-weaned Baby Evan again this week and it’s going super well! I’m looking forward to a full 9 straight hours of sleep in my very very near future!) but when my kid actually starts opening his mouth and letting me feed him stuff off a fork I cannot screw that up. I will tell you he drank cow’s milk AND lemonade out of a glass today – with our help – so it’s just about time to start pushing the sippy cup as a means of hydration rather than just pouring water on the floor. My nipples are practically weeping with joy.

Just call me Baby E for Enigma. Or not. Whatevs. Does this look like the face of someone who cares?

Dude, we’re on a whole new chart over at BabyCenter!

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
• Uses two words skillfully (e.g., “hi” and “bye”) – I dunno. He say mama and dada with some purpose. He said “nigh-nigh” at bedtime last week. He’s said “hai” for a while but not consistently. He says things that sound like kitty and dog and no but not on command. I’m not exactly concerned about his language skills but he’s not exactly advanced.
• Bends over and picks up an object – Let’s just assume he can do every physical milestone between now and 18 months. Because physical development is not our problem.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
• Enjoys gazing at his reflection – He’s so vain, he probably thinks this blog is about him. Oh wait. Yes.
• Holds out arm or leg to help you dress him – Does kick his legs and arms and flail to prevent diaper changes count? Then yes. But he does know socks go on your feet and will try to put his socks on if I let him.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
• Combines words and gestures to make needs known – He still knows the sign for milk and dog a kitty and stop but doesn’t do them himself. I would say he combines yelling with reaching but not words and gestures.
• Rolls a ball back and forth – He can hit a ball with a stick and throw a ball in a forward direction about 75% of the time. The rest of his tries end up as some sort of slapstick routine where he drops it behind his head and gets totally confused when he can’t find it. I’ll try rolling back and forth this week.

Happy Monthday Little Monster!