Maybe some day far in the future my pictures from New Years Eve will involve high heels and parties and sparkly dresses and champagne drunk from something fancier than a plastic cup. But yesterday we celebrated the end of 2011 by getting Little Evan a haircut, taking a trip to Target for 75% off wrapping paper and opening the champagne at 9 pm in case I fell asleep. I’ve always sort of hated New Years – it’s built up to be SO GLAMOROUS and SO SPECIAL and a HUGE TURNING POINT in your life, when really it’s just like any other night. Even when I was younger and DID go out for New Years I never felt like I was having as much fun as I was supposed to be having. And not even once did Billy Crystal declare he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.

So instead of building it up and being let down, this year I just enjoyed having these two goofballs to hang out with all day and a husband to kiss at midnight any time I want to.

Twinsie trouble faces

You think they might be related?

Pushy

Whatchu lookin' at, fool?

Negotiating

She suspects she got the short end of the stick

Minding his own business

These aren’t the best SOS pictures I’ve ever taken, but there is no way to pose for photos at Target without feeling like a total idiot and we didn’t do anything else. But I DID put on real clothes after a full week of PJ pants and there is no way I’m letting that go undocumented.

Dance party!

On Evan:
Shirt – Old Navy
Jeans – Children’s Place

On Caroline:
Dress & leggings – Crazy 8 (dude, don’t even think about looking at their website unless you’re prepared to spend mucho bucks on adorableness)

On Suzanne:
Tank – ModCloth (bought on sale last week, now gone)
Sweater – Target
Jeggings – Nordstrom Rack (I’m not even ashamed, they’re SO comfortable)
Boots – Old Navy
Necklace – Lisa Leonard
Bracelet – Spiffing Jewelry (it says “I curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal” and rocks my socks)

Scene: Pouring rain. In the van on the entrance ramp to the highway. Two kids in their car seats. You’re  just barely on time for Stroller Strides because you had to pack four zillion snacks, sippy cups, toys, water bottles, crayons and blankets.

Suddenly, you hear a voice from the back seat.

“Mommy, poop potty! Big poop Mommy!”

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

Option A: Turn around and go home. You’ll have to drive down to the next exit, get back ON the highway, get back OFF the highway, drive back past the hospital during the busiest part of the morning, drag both kids out of the car into the house in the rain.

Cons: Getting wet, hauling kids, being late
Pros: You probably won’t have to scrape poop of the toddler

Option B: Stop at the gas station a few exits down the highway. The bathroom will be of questionable cleanliness and you’ll have to balance a baby on your hip while removing the toddlers shoes, pants and underwear because he refuses to sit on the potty unless entirely bottomless. Then you have to do it all in reverse to go back out in the rain and reload them into the car.

Cons: Getting wet, hauling kids, being late, catching horrible disease from disgusting public restroom
Pros: You probably won’t have to scrape poop off the toddler (but not guaranteed)

Option C: Ask him to hold it. Beg him to hold it. Shout “NO POOPING IN THE CAR!” Sing a made-up-song about how we only poop in the potty. Say “Did you poop? Did you poop? Did you poop?” every 12 seconds the whole way to the mall. UNFORTUNATE TWIST: You forgot to pack extra underpants (or any kind of pants).

Cons: Possible poop scraping, being so tired of the word poop your brain explodes
Pros: On time to class, no extra kid hauling, taking the risk gets your heart racing which practically counts as a bonus morning workout

So, yeah, I thought my life was supposed to get EASIER after potty training. Everyone is always complaining about diapers but let me tell you, THIS IS NOT BETTER. I spend at least two hours a day staring at my kid while he sits on the can, helping him with his pants, wiping his butt or bribing begging him to use the potty BEFORE we leave the house. My Weight Watchers activity tracker should have an option for “potty trained toddler” because if I’m going to be running back and forth to the restroom every single time we go out in public I want to be able to EAT those activity points. Or more accurately, drink those points. Mommy needs a hot cocoa with peppermint schnapps.

For the record, my choice in the earlier scenario was C because I happen to know my kid is a LYING LIARFACE and uses “Poop potty!” as an excuse to get out of the car/stroller when he’s bored. There was no poop scraping. He not only held it until we got to the mall, he told me he didn’t even have to go anymore. No accidents.

So to sum up: I am sick of the word poop and my toddler is incredibly manipulative.

Oh man, I am SO HAPPY to be home vegging on my couch and staring into a long, boring afternoon of regularity. No more traveling, no more driving, no more pack-n-play, no more guest bed, no more unbaby-proofed houses, no more stuffing my face with pie, no more long afternoons with no naps, no more rushing around to get thing unpacked and Christmas decorations up. I love spending time with our families but everything about traveling with kids is stressful. It’s hard to be “on” as a mother constantly – sometimes I just need to lock myself in a bathroom and scream, but in a house full of people there’s always someone knocking on the door to make sure you’re OK. I have trouble explaining yet, I’m fine, I’m just GOING TOTALLY CRAZY for a moment. It will pass.

Instead of letting Nick Jr do all my parenting today, I managed to get the kids out the door to Stroller Strides and the playground for a few hours. We’re having that week of insanely mild temperatures where all the New Englanders run around in shorts and tank tops and say “This is crazy! I can’t believe how warm it is!”. I think this happens every November – I definitely remember wearing flip-flops to my OB appointments at this time last year – but it still feels SPECIAL. I’m determined to take advantage of it as much as we can before I have to deal with winter coats and hats and mittens and blankets and running out to start the car at 7 am so it defrosts before we leave the house. And the snow. There’s going to be so much snow.

I’m already sad about Christmas being over, which is CRAZY because it is NOT AT ALL OVER. It’s not even December. Why am I letting myself get depressed about taking down decorations while I am putting them up? It just feels like the month is so full of things that I can’t possibly enjoy all of them enough. And I WANT to enjoy them, especially because Caroline’s birthday is coming up in 3 weeks and I’m trying to throw together a tiny party for her. Of course, by “tiny” I mean I’ve already started decorating, made a lace garland and I’ve bookmarked seven different kinds of cake to try making. I SWEAR it’s going to be low key though, if only because I won’t have time to clean up before we have to get back in the car and travel AGAIN for the holidays.

So excuse me while I go take a nap. Today I am thankful for easy, quiet, boring afternoons like this one.

There’s a thing in the month of November called “National Novel Writing Month” where people who are writing novels all get together to motivate each other and write 50,000 words during the month. It sounds impossible to me (especially because my first and only attempt at a novel was 200 words about a fictional version of myself sitting on a plane. I was wearing a scarf. The stranger next to me was mysterious. AREN’T YOU JUST DYING TO READ IT NOW?) so I won’t be participating. But some genius came up with the idea to also make November “National Blog Posting Month” which is something I CAN get on board with, although for me that’s not much of a challenge. I post an average of 27 times a month, and have for almost the entire time I’ve been blogging. And yet I STILL WON’T SHUT UP.

Instead of JUST planning to post something every single day, I am going to combine NaBloPoMo with being thankful which is an idea I got from Nick Jr I really love. I lean towards whininess in my online life (and my real life) and it’s about time I shake some of that negativity off. So for November I’ll be posting about something I am thankful for every day. Sunshine! Rainbows! Unicorns! Oh God the energy it’s taking to be that positive is making me exhausted already – especially since it is 8:55 on November 1st and I haven’t yet published this post. It is DAY ONE and I am already behind. Best blogger ever???

Don’t worry, I have all sorts of excuses. My computer is broken, the kids won’t let me use the iPad when either of them is awake (what is WITH that?! is there a sticky-finger-magnet in the screen or something?!), and I’ve been up since 5 am without a single adult conversation besides “cash or credit?” while running errands. There’s also a 55 lb bag of dog food in the back of my car I really need to get into the house but OMG 55 POUNDS IS A LOT OF POUNDS. Maybe I can just lock the dog in the van every time he needs to eat for the next couple weeks until it gets lighter? That’s either a totally genius idea or just about the laziest bullshit I’ve ever come up with.

But right now both kids are sleeping, I’m wearing my comfy pants and I have a whole bag of Milky Ways left over from trick-or-treaters to keep me company and help sooth the rough edges from a stressful day.

So today I am thankful for candy.

I bet you’ve been waiting anxiously to see my official 1 year of iPhone photos post. I know it’s the most exciting part of your weekend. Unfortunately, it’s hard to type when my hands are full of mini powdered donuts, so I had to eat ALL of the ones left over from yesterday’s party before I got to today’s blogging. Don’t worry, they’re all in a better place now. Let the photo posting begin!

Sunday:

NOM PIZZA NOM NOM

NOM CUPCAKE NOM NOM

Thank goodness it was a padded room

Monday:

Caroline's new favorite thing is forts and/or anything that sort of looks like a fort. FOOOOORT!!!

"Uh oh mama! Fall denoun!" "No sweetie, you threw them."

Picture frames for the party

Hungry baby eats her own hand

Bathtime rave

Tuesday:

It was so scenic at the park for Stroller Strides it made me kind of nauseous. SO SCENIC. BLAH.

Party prep - sugar cookies!

She's adorable, even with snot on her face.

Shopping with my Kate Spade and my Dunkin Donuts is so much more pleasant that two screaming kids.

Good dog doesn't eat the toys even when forced to lie on them.

Wednesday:

More party prep - tiny pumpkins!

Sharing siblings are the best kind of siblings.

So, do you come here often?

Nice quiet knitting + gossiping with friends = my favorite night of the week

Thursday:

Mama, can I borrow your shoes?

Weight Watchers suggests making mini cupcakes to satisfy sweet cravings. I think we have different definitions of "satisfy".

Time to break out the slippers for the cold winter floors.

Friday:

Because OF COURSE the day your houseguests come is the day you should clean the toybox

The top blankie is MY baby blankie. I still love it.

MESS. It never real got better. Sorry party guests!

Me & Erin. We met on the first day of college and now have toddlers only 3 months apart. Isn't that the best?

Saturday:

Having 12 toddlers in my house suddenly made having 1 toddler and 1 baby seem SUPER EASY.

Tiny cheesecakes from my friend Heather. I think she's trying to make me fatter.

Four people in this picture think they are playing Kinect on the XBox. Only two of them actually are.

There you go! 52 full weeks of iPhone photos, which means I’ve unintentionally and successfully completed one of those 365-photo-challenges I never start because I’m terrible at follow through. TAKE THAT SELF. I DID IT.

For the record, the chair from my first week in iPhone photos is still sitting on my front porch. Oops.

Did you take any camera phone photos this week? Link up with one or lots using the linky below and grab the code (so it shows on your blog too!) over at Amy’s . It’s really fun!