My last posts about E’s hideous work schedule and struggling to parent my preschooler came across wrong and I’ve been feeling dishonest. I miss E, my husband, the guy I married, a ton. I miss talking to someone about what we did that day. I miss sharing dinner with someone who doesn’t throw food at me and demand a toy and fries instead of his mac and cheese (I curse the day I bought that first Happy Meal). I miss someone else taking out the trash and mowing the lawn. The LIFE part is sort of overwhelming to do alone after not doing it alone for most of the last 8 years. And although I struggle with consistent, positive parenting I’m also enjoying the crap out of my kids. It helps that I’m writing this after we’ve had a lovely morning and that we have fun stuff planned every day until school (school!!) starts on Tuesday, but I don’t feel like I’m struggling to keep my head above the stream of challenges.

I have gotten used to this all-the-time mom thing. My little family – my daily we – is just one person smaller most of the time. We leave the house. We take vacations. We go to the beach. We buy groceries. We read lots and lots and lots of books. I don’t even cringe when I realize I’m doing bedtime alone every day. I’ve actually pushed the kids’ bedtimes back so I can spend more time with them – evenings are lonely when no one is coming home to talk to. So You Think You Can Dance is only good company for a couple episodes before you realize it’s kind of sad to comment out loud to the cat on Cat’s crazy outfit.

We have fun, the kids and I. We’re good together. Even when I’m failing at the technical details of parenting they’re always ready to forgive me, give hugs and kisses and go on another adventure.

Even though saying it seems like sacrilege to the gods of warm weather, popsicles and iced coffee, I think we’re ready for our fall adventures to start. Caroline has outgrown this outfit – our favorite all summer – and it’s a smack-you-in-the-face kind of metaphor for how this season of our life is ending.

I might cry the day she outgrows those shoes though. I know she will.

Our carefree days with no schedule and no responsibilities and spur-of-the-moment fun at the zoo are officially over. Evan has school Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. Both kids have gymnastics on Wednesdays. It’s making me doubt this whole preschool situation a little. As good as I know it will be for both of us to get a little time apart, it feels like I’m sending a piece of my heart off into the world to fend for itself.

I promise I’m trying not to write a post filled entirely with the most cliched mother cliches ever. I’m so blessed. My kids help me see the world in a new way. I love them so much my heart might explode. Being a mom is the best job in the world.

But those are all mommy cliches for a REASON.

Caroline is such a big girl and so smart and understands almost everything that I’m thinking about sending her to school after her birthday. Two year old preschool has always been something I thought was silly – it’s just DAYCARE, don’t try to make it sound fancy – but even if all she does all day is hang out with other 2 year olds and scribble with crayons and eat Goldfish at least it would be with actual trained teachers who could focus on building her skills instead of a mom who just takes Instagram photos of her.

I like to think knowing my own strengths and weaknesses makes me a better mom.

But then I will be childless for 5 hours a week and that kind of free time might be too much for me. I could run! I could shop! I could sit on a park bench alone and read a book! I might also sob for days and/or catch a case of baby fever that ends with spontaneous triplets. The possibilities are endless.

Here comes Fall, y’all. We’re so ready for the adventure. Are you ready for us?

This week was fueled by left-over party food, lots of Stroller Strides to balance out the party food and plenty of begging my children to behave themselves so I didn’t have to drag them home and entertain them myself all afternoon. But even on the days when I resorted to bribery, tears, screaming and more screaming we had tons and tons of good moments. Today I am thankful my iPhone gives me an easy way to capture those moments, so once a week when I review them for this post I pretty much forget all the bad stuff. It is extremely good for my sanity.

Sunday:

Nursery floor pillows are probably never going back up to the nursery. SO COMFY. (Sidenote: not my kid)

After finally sorting all the baby clothes, Caroline's room looks like a real playroom

Mmmmm...dirty, soap filled water is the BEST.

Monday:

Oh no! I'm being attacked by the tiniest most adorable dragon ever!

The button on that bench at Old Navy didn't do anything. Best toddler toy ever.

My I got new boots boots! (They're miraculously large enough for my huge calves and were only $25 at Old Navy)

Tuesday:

My kid might be the only person on the planet who gets one of those "part of a complete breakfast" cereal commercial breakfasts...and then doesn't eat any of it.

This buckle? Is NOT OK. It totally doesn't match my outfit.

I'm kind of obsessed with taking sleeping pictures of Caroline, since Little Evan was such a picky sleeper I never got to take any.

Wednesday:

SO EXCITED. And it's not even on.

Sinking her teeth into a little vampire fiction (IT'S TWO JOKES IN ONE!)

Cut up food. Throw it in a freezer bag. Add mustard and rosemary. Freeze. Voila, easy peasy dinners.

Thursday:

Overdramatic toddler is overdramatic. NO MAMA, NO WALK DOWNSTAIRS. FOOT HURT. (He has a hangnail.)

It made my house smell like CHRISTMAS.

Four children. Two shopping carts. WHO WILL BE THE FIRST TO FALL ON THEIR HEAD?

Friday:

I take your picture take my picture, mama!

Using the ball winder at the yarn store is oddly thrilling.

"Evan, what are you doing?" "Fire truck! Weeeoooooh!" "Uh, ok."

Saturday:

Clyde's. Pretty much the best place ever on a Saturday in November.

This is what 1 dozen apple cider donuts look like after I've shoved half of them in my face.

I just don't even know.

Now we’re going to go cram a week’s worth of family time in less than 48 hours. There will be forts, dancing, messes and pizza with our weird, wonderful kids. I am thankful for ALL of those things.

Did you take any camera phone photos this week? Link up with one or lots using the linky below and grab the code (so it shows on your blog too!) over at Amy’s . It’s really fun! (linky up on Sunday!)

Despite the fact that this WASN’T a typical week (hellooooooo single parenting) it was about as typical as any of our weeks are. Stroller Strides, playground, errands, cooking, lots of sleeping babies. But we survived and had fun and no one’s eyes rotted out because of too much Nick Jr. or starved to death because all they ate was Goldfish crackers.

Sunday:

Yes, Hello, We will buy ALL the pumpkins.

The portabello mushrooms were really just a goat-cheese-face-delivery device.

Late night toddler party

Monday:

I ruined a beautiful morning by exercising.

Playdough playgroup

It is a universal truth that water from a faucet tastes better than water from a cup.

Tuesday:

Does this LOOK like the face of someone being naughty?

I refuse to let him even try the big kid swings. He's not allowed to not need me!

Bebeh toes

Wednesday:

Baconface

So close, yet so far away. Victims of a cruel mother.

Dreaming of a quiet bath of his own

Thursday:

No YOU were just dancing to the Olivia theme song

She loves this book.

Riding dirty (on the side of the shopping cart).

Friday:

Too busy playing dollhouse to get dressed.

I like this.

Fine, if you won't let me eat those Oreos you snuck into your cart I'll eat my shoe.

Saturday:

My husband brought me a nice healthy salad for lunch...

...and then I went shopping for CARBS AND MEAT. Caaaaaarbs.

Caroline says "Gimme the boobs or I'll pop a cap in you, Mama".

The coming week is going to be ALL CRAFTING ALL KNITTING ALL BAKING ALL HALLOWEEN ALL CLEANING ALL THE TIME. It’s E’s last week before he starts design school (spoken lots of time out of town in a hotel) and I have a Halloween party that miiiiight have gotten a little out of hand to prepare for. It’s going to be super fun (and super bad for my diet) and if you’re reading this you should definitely come too. I’m forcing my whole family to wear Halloween costumes. Come back on October 31st for some EPIC pictures.

p.s. I’m also probably maybe sort of thinking about upgrading my iPhone so these weekly roundups aren’t such a blurry mess. I think that would be a good way to end my FULL YEAR of iPhone photos.

Did you take any camera phone photos this week? Link up with one or lots using the linky below and grab the code (so it shows on your blog too!) over at Amy’s . It’s really fun!

Eastern Connecticut is a black hole for a lot of things – chain restaurants, free public beaches, Anthropologies – but this time of year I am totally in love with everything about it. TOTALLY. I drive around on my regular every day errands literally GASPING at how gorgeous the trees are. Out loud. GASP. And just when I think I’ve found the most spectacular, fall postcard worthy stretch of road I round a corner and IT’S EVEN MORE GORGEOUS HOLY CRAP I CAN’T EVEN. Throw in trips to do photo-shooty fall-type things with my children in plaid shirts and tiny overalls and it’s a miracle I don’t pee my pants with excitement. Or maybe that’s why I’m wearing black pants.

Of course, my blissful land of red and oranges and yellows and pumpkins and caramel apples and chicken pot pie lasts for approximately two weeks (IF WE’RE LUCKY and it doesn’t rain for all of October). The rest of fall is cold and dreary and brown, and I reserve my right to complain about it on the daily right up until we get our first real snow of the winter and/or/usually at the same time Christmas. Then everything is AMAZING and GORGEOUS and A FAIRYLAND OF MAGICALNESS for exactly the amount of time it takes for the snow plow to come and spew dirty slush all over the place. After that it’s just one long stretch of misery until spring shows up in April (or May, more likely) when all the flowers bloom and I once again remember why I love New England.

I never said it was a HEALTHY relationship, but it’s one I don’t plan to get out of any time soon.

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I got new glasses this week, for the first time in years. My old ones were thin and gold and half-rimless and totally considered fashionable when I bought them, if that gives you an idea of how long it has been. I bought two pairs from the place that did my exam and then asked them for my prescription. Because I am SMART, I also looked up what exactly one needs to order glasses from the interwebs BEFORE I asked for it, to make sure I got all the parts I needed.

Turns out – SURPRISE! – they don’t actually give you all the information you need! Because they are jerks and want you to be forced to buy their $350 Tory Burch frames! The woman who was helping me wrote down the extra number I needed in teeny tiny letters at the bottom of the page and whispered “You can take this anywhere. THEY will know what it means” as if she was giving me the secret recipe for Coca-Cola instead of just the distance between my eyeballs. When I said I was planning to get a zillion pairs of $6 frames from the internet (thanks to a fantastic tip from Swistle) she got all scoldy and mean and told me I was wasting my money because those cheap glasses would probably break after two weeks anyway. To which I say YES, EXACTLY, which is why they are SIX DOLLARS. But with two grabby little kids I am just as likely to break my $350 Tory Burch glasses (yeah, they got me) and I don’t see you offering to replace them out of the kindness of your heart.

Besides, I am finally getting used to seeing things again. It’s kind of nice and I don’t want a pair of broken glasses to ruin that.

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I want to write about how I am surviving some temporary single parenting LIKE A CHAMP – not only am I keeping the kids alive, I’m cooking dinner from scratch! Knitting things! The house isn’t a disaster! I have put away folded laundry! TWICE! – but that would be tempting fate just a little too much and I have TOO MANY DAYS left before I get my husband back, so that is all I will say about that.

Post-script: I HADN’T EVEN SCHEDULED this post yet and shit started to fall apart. I will NEVER LEARN.