I am super proud of this project because for once it WASN’T inspired by something I saw on Pinterest or in a magazine or some other creative person’s blog. It came out of my very own brain, as small and empty as that brain might be.

And don’t go raining on my parade by telling me you wrote a tutorial for the VERY SAME THING back in 1997 when it was ACTUALLY an original idea because WHATEVER DUDE. We are not special snowflakes so just let me have this one, OK? I spend an embarrassing amount of time looking at things on Pinterest and kicking myself and slapping my forehead saying “Why didn’t I think of that?!” So I finally thought of something, which may or may not kind of suck, but as far as I’m concerned is the BEST CRAFT PROJECT EVAR.

No-Sew Rag Wreath Tutorial

Supplies:
Foam wreath form
Thumbtack/map pins
Fabric
Scissors

Because I am lazy, I bought a roll of pre-coordinated fabric strips from the craft store. I think these are meant for quilting but since that is a craft that requires actual skills you won’t find me anywhere near it. You could, of course, use your own fabric just cut into strips, if you were the kind of person who just kept yards and yards of pretty fabrics lying about. I bow to you.

When you unroll your roll, you’ll see there’s two long lengths of each pattern of fabric, folded in half. I started by cutting at the folds, so I had 4 strips of fabric. Then I cut through all 4 pieces at once to make square-ish squares. It’s not rocket science, so don’t get out your protractor or anything. The goal is to cut up a nice big pile of fabric pieces without injuring yourself. IT’S HARDER THAN IT LOOKS. You should see the blister I got on my middle finger from all the cutting.

I am so hard core. A HARD CORE CRAFTER. I’m packing heat! Oh wait, that’s just a glue gun.

I wrapped some extra fabric around my wreath (it took 2 of the full-length strips) because I didn’t plan to decorate the back and I thought it looked a little nicer with the fabric. Pin the ends with a couple of map pins (note: I bought the map pins at Staples in the fastener aisle. They’re just like the pins my mom used to use when she was tacking up a hem to sew but I would bet they’re cheaper when they’re called “map pins”). I alternated my map pins with some large ball thumb tacks in colors that matched my fabric. The tacks didn’t work as well because they were shorter, but add some texture to the finished product.

Now push a pin through the middle of one of your fabric squares into the wreath. Push JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE once you get it all the way in, so the fabric sticks out. Start filling in the wreath with different colored squares. I found it was easier to cover it with a layer and then go back and fill in as needed. After you’re about 3/4 of the way done you’re going to look at it and think “This looks TERRIBLE” but trust me, keep going. Pull the edges of the fabric out so you can pin new pieces close to the old pieces to get that sticky-outy effect.

Originally, I thought they would kind of look like flowers, but because I just cut squares they aren’t especially flower-like. You could use pinking sheers to make the edges ruffly or cut circles of different sizes, but as I’ve mentioned before, I am L to the A to the Z to the Y and nap times are short.

Once you reach the desired fullness level, use two pins to attach a ribbon to the back and hang it up. Check to make sure there aren’t any bald patches and voila, you have a one of a kind rag wreath.

Ta-da!

I don’t even know who I am anymore.

Sticks. Trash. Should be thrown away or at the very most turned into mulch.

I was out in the garden this week, cutting back a stupid useless vine of some sort that keeps trying to grow up the side of our house and stuffing it into a trash can to haul out to the dump. I looked at the bendy, twiggy vine all curled up in the can and thought “hey, it looks kind of like a wreath.” And then instead of doing the TOTALLY NORMAL PERSON THING and throwing it away I cut a few more branches, dragged them inside, trimmed them up and made a damn wreath.

I started with some long ones and just twisted them together. I used an extra thin twig to tie the ends.

By hand. With sticks. Sitting on the floor of my living room. When I could have been doing something useful like knitting or blogging or picking my toenails.

Then I twisted different sized twigs around and tucked in the ends until it was wreath-sized.

Oh but I didn’t stop there. I dragged out my craft box and glue gun and the felt flowers I made last year and decorated that bitch right up.

Junk I keep in a box for moments like this where I lose my mind.

I started with some ribbon and tulle and yarn, because those look nice on a wreath, right?

I really half-assed it on the bow

Then I used the glue gun to attach some felt leaves and flowers.

Hot glue: the lazy crafter's best tool

And because, hey, naptime lasts forever right? I’ve got all the time in the world to waste! I stitched up couple of little buds to fill in the gaps.

Just makin' it up as I go

A little more hot glue, a loop of ribbon for a hanger and BOOM. My front door has been spring-ified for exactly zero dollars.

Too bad I made a brown wreath for a brown door. Stupid.

Take your $6 stick wreath and SHOVE IT, craft store. Ain't got nothin' on me.

And that’s the end of today’s craft project. I’ll be in the kitchen, drinking wine straight from a bottle and wondering when my life became so boring this is what I do for fun.