I totally forgot that babies continue to grow once you get past 12 months. For some reason I had gotten it into my head that after his first birthday Baby Evan would just continue to be one forever. Which, actually, wouldn’t be so bad. It’s a pretty good age. If you don’t count the teething, which could really be said about almost any baby age. Oh teething.

Chillin' at Stroller Strides, still our favorite way to start the morning. Despite the obvious AWESOMENESS of that hat he refuses to keep it on more than 30 seconds.

On the super cool milestone front, yesterday E taught Baby Evan to climb up AND slide down his Little Tikes plastic slide by himself. There was only one falling-on-his-head incident, which is normal for an average day around here. Baby Evan sometimes falls on his head just from looking at the dog wrong. I’m really impressed he has the gross motor skills and the kind of control over his limbs it takes to climb a ladder, swing his legs around under him and push down a slide, especially since until recently the best he could do was kick the slide end and whine when I told him not to climb up that way. Although I think this means trips to the playground can no longer be called “leisurely” – the slide there is like 14 FEET TALL. Head-falling from that height is not so fun.

This picture makes my teeth hurt. Why my child is the only person on the planet who things gnawing on tin foil is fun is beyond me.

As far as the food thing goes, well, I almost don’t want to talk about it since things have improved so so so much it’s not worth jinxing. I’m willing to risk the wrath of the mommy-gods with almost ANYTHING ELSE (including sleep, as in, we night-weaned Baby Evan again this week and it’s going super well! I’m looking forward to a full 9 straight hours of sleep in my very very near future!) but when my kid actually starts opening his mouth and letting me feed him stuff off a fork I cannot screw that up. I will tell you he drank cow’s milk AND lemonade out of a glass today – with our help – so it’s just about time to start pushing the sippy cup as a means of hydration rather than just pouring water on the floor. My nipples are practically weeping with joy.

Just call me Baby E for Enigma. Or not. Whatevs. Does this look like the face of someone who cares?

Dude, we’re on a whole new chart over at BabyCenter!

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
• Uses two words skillfully (e.g., “hi” and “bye”) – I dunno. He say mama and dada with some purpose. He said “nigh-nigh” at bedtime last week. He’s said “hai” for a while but not consistently. He says things that sound like kitty and dog and no but not on command. I’m not exactly concerned about his language skills but he’s not exactly advanced.
• Bends over and picks up an object – Let’s just assume he can do every physical milestone between now and 18 months. Because physical development is not our problem.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
• Enjoys gazing at his reflection – He’s so vain, he probably thinks this blog is about him. Oh wait. Yes.
• Holds out arm or leg to help you dress him – Does kick his legs and arms and flail to prevent diaper changes count? Then yes. But he does know socks go on your feet and will try to put his socks on if I let him.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
• Combines words and gestures to make needs known – He still knows the sign for milk and dog a kitty and stop but doesn’t do them himself. I would say he combines yelling with reaching but not words and gestures.
• Rolls a ball back and forth – He can hit a ball with a stick and throw a ball in a forward direction about 75% of the time. The rest of his tries end up as some sort of slapstick routine where he drops it behind his head and gets totally confused when he can’t find it. I’ll try rolling back and forth this week.

Happy Monthday Little Monster!

When I first thought about this breastfeeding thing, I read the AAP recommendation for 1 year and the WHO recommendation for 2 years and thought “Easy-peasy, yo, no worries. I’ll nurse as long as the baby wants”. I was a very laid back person before I gave birth.

After having the baby and actually trying to nurse, I am relieved to make it through each and every individual feeding. I had to block all thoughts of the future from my head, because thinking about the pain and frustration and sleepless nights for TWENTY FOUR MORE MONTHS made me want to jump out a window. Not a very high window, just high enough that someone else would have to take over feedings for a couple days. I decided if I made it to 2 months it would be a miracle.

Once I started treating my thrush and got the baby off the shield and finally realized I’m allergic to lanolin (you’d think my inability to wear a wool sweater for more than ten minutes would have been a clue but remember, no one said you had to be a genius to have a kid) and stopped putting something that makes my skin itch and burn DIRECTLY ON MY SORE NIPPLES Baby Evan and I fell into a rhythm, lulled into peacefulness by a milky river of cuddles and smiles and easy night feedings we both almost slept through. My original hopes for 2 years of nursing came back with a vengeance. I sat in my comfy chair at breastfeeding support group dispensing wise advice to the teary new moms with their days-old babies, assuring them they would make it through and be just as happy as I was now.

And I bet I would have stayed happy, with no doubts about making it to 2 years if it weren’t for these DAMN TEETH Baby Evan has sprouted. Did you know baby teeth are like puppy teeth? Super sharp and pointy and attached to something that doesn’t know better than to bite you. He’s not really biting me yet, since he doesn’t have top teeth. But the scraping, it is painful. I can no longer fall asleep while he’s latched on or I wake up to a bruised nipple. I’ve become an expert at jamming a finger in his mouth to break suction at the slightest noise so he doesn’t whip his head around and take a piece of me with him. Now that stuffy-nose weather is here it’s gotten worse, since when his mouth is full of boob and his nose is full of snot he can’t breath and yanks off every couple of seconds to gasp for air.

I’m hoping these two bottom teeth were just a freak occurrence and he holds off on the rest for a while. I’m adjusting to our current nursing relationship (and our LACK OF SOLID FOOD relationship – yesterday he actually picked up a Cheerio and put it in his mouth…unfortunately as soon as he tasted it he spat it back out) and I’m very proud we made it through 6 months of exclusive breastfeeding. But “exclusive” is no longer a club I want to be part of. Baby Evan is going through a growth spurt and spends most of the day either attached to my boob or lying on the floor going “mmmmm mmmmmm mmmmm oooooooo” *poop*. He eats so much during the night he pees through a size 4 diaper (Which is suppose to work on babies up to 37 pounds. Since the baby only weighs 20 pounds, does that mean he’s outputting 17 POUNDS OF PEE?) at night and I wake up damp and smelly. He’s reached all the important “ready to start food” milestones…except for a willingness to SWALLOW THINGS THAT ARE NOT MILK.

I think the key to my continued breastfeeding success is finding a (baby appropriate) food he’s willing to eat. Cheerios, oatmeal, pieces of banana and applesauce are no’s. I have this butternut squash I’ve been planning to turn into baby food for a week but haven’t actually figured out how to do that yet. I meant to give him a piece of my avocado last week but it was so delicious I ate it all. I’m going to try to find some of those HappyBaby puffs today and maybe pick up a couple more jars of various types of baby food.

Any suggestions? What does/did your kid eat?

How in the world has the human race survived this long? I mean, you barely recover from giving birth soon enough to deal with sleep deprivation and sore nipples and just when the baby starts getting all cute and mobile and human-like, TEETHING STARTS. You want to prevent teen pregnancy? SEND ‘EM THIS WAY. I guarantee an hour with my baby and any teen’s knees with slam together so hard they’ll be limping for a month. I have no job, no pressing responsibilities (beyond keeping my child alive), no other kids to care for, no neighbors close enough to disturb if the baby screams and I am almost at the end of my rope. I cannot imagine what dealing with a teething baby would be like in a mud hut or a covered wagon or an 800 square foot apartment. If you have teeth, go kiss your mama right now.

By the time E got home from work yesterday I was lying on the floor of the nursery begging the baby to take a nap. I know E was secretly thinking “Geez woman pull yourself together, he’s not that bad” – until Baby started screaming his head off because someone smiled at him the wrong way or said his mama was funny looking. I wouldn’t blame E if he suddenly had to start “working late” so he would miss the afternoon meltdown. I would totally kill him, but I wouldn’t BLAME him.

The real problem is the child cannot make up his mind. Cutting just one tiny tooth has thrown any semblance of a schedule out the window. Two nights ago I was totally ready to throw in the co-sleeping towel because Baby Evan thrashed and tossed and nursed ALL NIGHT and I can’t deal with a cranky baby during the day without at least five hours of sleep. But then last night he slept from 9pm – 2am, nursed, and then went back to sleep until 5:30 am, still and quiet as a mouse. Unfortunately, GETTING him to sleep was a nightmare. I don’t think it counts as cry-it-out if E is holding him and rocking him and shushing him in the nursery…but the baby cried himself to sleep anyway. During the day he’s just as unpredictable. One minute Baby Evan wants to nurse non-stop and the next he thrashed and screams if I put him anywhere near a boob. I was not expecting engorgement to be a problem anymore but yeah, it is, AGAIN. One second he’s playing in his exersaucer happily and the next he’s screaming bloody murder. One minute the teether toy is his favorite thing ever until he sees me holding the remote and then he wants THAT RIGHT NOW INHISMOUTH GUMGUMGUMDROOOOOOOOL.

I wish there was a definitive answer as to how long teething lasts. It would really help me deal with this if I knew “OK, he’s horrible now but I only have two more weeks (or months) to go”. But the internet has very little to say on the subject, except that he has 20 teeth to get through and that the molars can be worse. WORSE. My heart actually stopped beating for a second.

At Baby Evan’s 2 month check-up, the pediatrician made a passing comment that all the baby drool is the first sign of teething. I think he may have confused my stunned expression with a death threat (or maybe it was when I said “take it back or I’ll kill you” – I see now how that may be confusing) because he quickly amended his statement to “although it may still be months before it really starts!” Ever since then I’ve been on constant tooth watch. Every time Baby Evan was the least bit cranky or squirmy or his sleeping pattern changed or he wanted to nurse more or he wanted to nurse less or he stuck stuff in his mouth I thought “Oh here we go, teething.” And every single time his gums remained unbroken. UNTIL NOW. Dum-dum-duuuuum.

Yesterday morning at breastfeeding support group I was commenting on Baby Evan’s sudden desire to nurse ALL NIGHT* and my sudden desire to move to Ouagadougou (wow, my spellchecker knew that one!) – alone – when he suddenly clamped down on my finger and I found his first tooth. Subsequent attempts to SEE the tooth have resulted in the kind of bloody murder screaming usually only found in bad horror movies right before the girl in her underwear remembers running UPSTAIRS is always the wrong decision. So there will be no pictures of the tiny, sharp little monster that has turned my sweet baby boy into a hell demon. If you want to come hold him for a minute though, I’m sure he’ll be happy to gnaw on you so you can feel it for yourself.

We have a tube of generic baby orajel which seems to dull his pain enough that he can be distracted with toys or the dog, but I’m going to need a lot more. Like, gallons and gallons more. If I’m looking for a remedy more in the “crazy pants hippie” direction, wearing Baltic amber close to the skin is supposed to help dull teething pain and my favorite maternity store sells amber baby necklaces. I already have my share of teething type toys but poor Baby Evan’s tiny mouth isn’t quite big enough for most of them and we’re still not quite ready for solid food so teething biscuits are out. So it looks like I’m going to need some teething tablets. Do you think they still sell this kind?

*Last night I was trying to put myself back to sleep after YET ANOTHER nursing session by reciting all the poetry I know in my head. I was pretty proud of myself for getting half way through Longfellow’s Hiawatha until I got to the part where he kills the Jabberwocky. My sleep deprivation, let me show you it.