Misery, thy name is teething

How in the world has the human race survived this long? I mean, you barely recover from giving birth soon enough to deal with sleep deprivation and sore nipples and just when the baby starts getting all cute and mobile and human-like, TEETHING STARTS. You want to prevent teen pregnancy? SEND ‘EM THIS WAY. I guarantee an hour with my baby and any teen’s knees with slam together so hard they’ll be limping for a month. I have no job, no pressing responsibilities (beyond keeping my child alive), no other kids to care for, no neighbors close enough to disturb if the baby screams and I am almost at the end of my rope. I cannot imagine what dealing with a teething baby would be like in a mud hut or a covered wagon or an 800 square foot apartment. If you have teeth, go kiss your mama right now.

By the time E got home from work yesterday I was lying on the floor of the nursery begging the baby to take a nap. I know E was secretly thinking “Geez woman pull yourself together, he’s not that bad” – until Baby started screaming his head off because someone smiled at him the wrong way or said his mama was funny looking. I wouldn’t blame E if he suddenly had to start “working late” so he would miss the afternoon meltdown. I would totally kill him, but I wouldn’t BLAME him.

The real problem is the child cannot make up his mind. Cutting just one tiny tooth has thrown any semblance of a schedule out the window. Two nights ago I was totally ready to throw in the co-sleeping towel because Baby Evan thrashed and tossed and nursed ALL NIGHT and I can’t deal with a cranky baby during the day without at least five hours of sleep. But then last night he slept from 9pm – 2am, nursed, and then went back to sleep until 5:30 am, still and quiet as a mouse. Unfortunately, GETTING him to sleep was a nightmare. I don’t think it counts as cry-it-out if E is holding him and rocking him and shushing him in the nursery…but the baby cried himself to sleep anyway. During the day he’s just as unpredictable. One minute Baby Evan wants to nurse non-stop and the next he thrashed and screams if I put him anywhere near a boob. I was not expecting engorgement to be a problem anymore but yeah, it is, AGAIN. One second he’s playing in his exersaucer happily and the next he’s screaming bloody murder. One minute the teether toy is his favorite thing ever until he sees me holding the remote and then he wants THAT RIGHT NOW INHISMOUTH GUMGUMGUMDROOOOOOOOL.

I wish there was a definitive answer as to how long teething lasts. It would really help me deal with this if I knew “OK, he’s horrible now but I only have two more weeks (or months) to go”. But the internet has very little to say on the subject, except that he has 20 teeth to get through and that the molars can be worse. WORSE. My heart actually stopped beating for a second.

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12 Responses to “Misery, thy name is teething”

  1. Erin (i need to think of a fake name) says:

    Wow, I’m so sorry. That sounds like it really sucks! And what is more, like its really going to suck for me!!! Want to borrow baby Reid in a few months? :)

  2. Natalie says:

    Awww, I remember those days–the endless nursing and feeling like I wanted to rip my boobs off of my chest and throw them in the corner and have the baby go after them and leave me alone. I’m giving you lots of hugs and encouragement. I found my oldest dealt with the teething pain much better than my youngest. Not that my oldest was a shining beacon of smiles as she teethed, but I do think they have different pain thresholds and it really came out during teething.

    Obviously I can’t tell you how it will be different with the next tooth, but in my own personal experience, it did get better the older they got, almost as if they could deal with the pain a bit better.

    I know you said he was too young for teething toys, but do you think he would chew on a washcloth? One trick I used was a wet frozen washcloth. Or just a wet one. They like to suck the water out and gnaw on it and it seemed to help my girls. Sometimes just rubbing something cold on his gums could help. I used ice cubes and just gently rubbed the gums–but i also used unopened frozen pedialyte pops.

    Good luck and I hope this doesn’t fall into the “unwanted advice” category. I don’t want to be one of THOSE people. ;o)

  3. lalaland13 says:

    Ack, this does sound awful. I wish I could think of some advice, but I don’t remember teething, obviously. I remember it really sucking to have braces and my wisdom teeth removed. Poor little guy. You’ve probably already seen this, but it’s a “teething timeline.” For some reason, the advice about not being a martyr amuses me. http://www.parenttime.com/babyarticles/teethingschedule.html

  4. moonfilament says:

    Two words:

    Frozen binkies.

    Trust me… they are magical.

  5. bebehblog says:

    Yes! We do have the Hyland’s. He’s finally started letting me dose him with the other homeopathic stuff I bought…and I got an amber necklace. I don’t want to say which thing worked but every day he gets a little better and NO day has been as bad as the first one.

  6. mamajade says:

    Perhaps we should have a meltdown together, on the floor. Fun.

    J hasn’t had huge problems with teething, which is good because he got his first two at 3 months and it’s been fairly constant ever since. He follows a predictable pattern: the drool starts, then he has diarrhea for a day or two, and then you figure out oh he’s teething. He might be a little bit clingy for a bit, but no big deal, until they start to actually come through the gums. Then he’s not fussy, he’s ANGRY. (only time I have any biting issues is right then)

    Well, forget that now. He is working on his second one year molar, and the first one isn’t quite all the way up yet (and those top fangs keep coming in and going out, seriously get it done already), and it’s like having a totally different baby. He’s up all night, and he cries, something he never does, why is it so much worse at night? He goes from happy to angry in a heartbeat, he bit my arm in anger yesterday, and hello tantrums. Oh my god can we be done yet?

    I have tried teething tablets (they seem to work, sometimes), cold washcloths, teething toys, long walks, even ibroprophren (so much for “I don’t want to drug my child” oh, no, bring on the drugs)… some things work, for a while, some things dont. This round, he has stopped eating completely, nurses only for a few seconds at a time, this is awesome.

    I suppose that’s not the kind of encouraging helpful comment I started out meaning to make, a hey you’re not alone this too shall pass kind of post, but it’s been a day, I’ll try again tomorrow. For now, I will say that it does end, eventually, and it seems that some teeth come in easier than others, and… well, at least the second set comes in pretty easy.

    Good luck, mama!

  7. silenceandnoise says:

    Oh no, not theething! We recently went through the same with our son. We bought the Razberry teether (you can google it). It sucked at first, but then he figured out how to use it and it has kept me from bangign my head against the wall. We tried everything: teethers, wet blankies, a frozen washcloth, cold spoons, a frozen bagel. He didn’t want any of these things. Lately he has been chewing on his rubber spoon, the one we use for feedings and it seems to soothe him so we offer it to him when the crying starts and it works. You can also try to apply pressure with your fingers on his gums. I hope it gets better!!

  8. Emily says:

    So… How long did it last???? You could be describing my son and here I am searching the Internet for how long it will last

    • bebehblog says:

      You know what? I don’t even remember. It definitely ended? I’m on kid #3 now and no one is teething and I’ve COMPLETELY blocked all of that out of my head. Soon, mama, soon you will also forget it.

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