This is it, I’m done. I refuse to do any more monthday posts for Caroline because I refuse to let her get any older. Nine months is GOOD. She can stay this age FOREVER AND EVER and I will be a happy mama. Because 9 months? It rocks my socks. She can crawl and cruise but not walk or run away, she nurses a lot but not constantly, she’s happy and smiley and social and friendly but she still loves me best. Her clothes are tiny and cute and it’s easy to dress her in anything I want, including dainty lacy vintage jumpers* because she doesn’t immediately throw up on herself of poopsplode immediately! If I let her get any older she’s going to start developing opinions and ideas and then it’s all over.

Tooth count: two middle bottom ones, one top front through and the other top front is about to make an appearance but not before it turns her into the saddest, snottiest, most sleepless baby EVER. I have been beyond exhausted with the not sleeping plus the sad daytime crying but she’s been eating a lot more solids (and by solids I mean eating whatever her brother drops on the floor as he wanders around – yesterday it was a half peeled clementine)(I wish I was joking) and we’re moving her from our room to her nursery this week so I’m hoping to get at least 6 hours every night this week. Whoa! Six whole hours! I’m aiming for the stars here, people!!

Caroline has moved up to 6-12 month clothes from Old Navy, 6-9 month clothes from Gymboree, 9 month clothes from Target and 9 month clothes from Carter’s, unless they are overalls because then they’re just comically long. You know what else is comical? The fact that the math section of my brain is now full of the sizing info for various baby brands instead of algebra. This is what happens when you have kids, kids. Stay in school.

We have a doctor’s appointment….uh…maybe today? Or tomorrow? I should check on that, since when they start asking questions – How often does she eat? Is she vocalizing at all? Do you have any concerns? – and I just stare at them blankly they’re already going to doubt my parenting skills. I don’t want to show up on the wrong day as well. I’m looking forward to seeing how much she’s grown, although she still seems teeny tiny compared to Little Evan. She is going to be my little peanut, my munchkin, my ginger baby doll forever and ever, even if she DOES get older next month.

Caroline’s likes include: cheese, the dog, her brother, blankies, crawling with one leg, smiling, grapes, biting things, boobs, her daddy, standing, apples, yarn, and eating trash. Dislikes are having her nails trimmed, water on her face, loneliness, her crib, and Dino Dan.

Hold on to your ovaries folks, these are the cutest monthday photos yet!

Bebeh model works on her posing

Eeeeexellent

9 Month Milestones (from BabyCenter, as usual)

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
Stands while holding onto something – Yes, especially my pants while I am trying to sit on the toilet for two damn minutes.
Jabbers or combines syllables – She’s a noisy little monster, but so far it’s just blah blah blah blah.
Understands object permanence – Yes. It makes peek-a-boo fun, but it also means she knows if she screams long enough I’ll come back during nap time. A win AND a lose.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
Cruises while holding onto furniture – Yes, the better to steal my snacks and the remote off the couch
Drinks from a sippy cup – Soooort of. She LOVES her brother’s sippy cup but is unexcited by anything coming out of it. I tried giving her breastmilk and she looked at me like WTF WOMAN THIS IS NOT A BOOB.
Eats with fingers – Well, I think she mostly eats with her mouth, but she certainly gets enough food on her hands.
Bangs objects together – Loudly. She needs more cowbell.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
Plays patty-cake and peek-a-boo – If there was a peek-a-boo championship, she would get the gold medal.
Says “mama” or “dada” to the correct parent – I have heard no mama’s. It took Little Evan more than a year to say mama so we’ll give her a break too.

*Dainty lacy vintage jumper and headband send by Pretty Fancy. Heather is a sweetheart with an adorable bebeh!

Just pretend that's a happy laughing face.

Everything about Little Evan has grown exponentially larger in the last month. He’s taller – tall enough to reach a whole new section of the kitchen counter that’s no longer safe for scissors of matches or long sharp pointy knives. He’s stronger – he can open the fridge all by himself now, God help me. He’s louder – SO MUCH LOUDER. And he’s smarter – he learns new words every minute, remembers practically everything, and has a better high score on Angry Birds than I do.

He also has so many more FEELINGS. He’s trapped in a glass case of emotion! Things are SO GREAT but also SO SAD and he is SO EXCITED to be here but he is SO ANGRY you told him not to lick that hand railing. It makes going out in public as stressful as playing Russian Roulette and honestly I’ve cut back on our social activities quite a bit. It’s just so much easier to stay home and play blocks and each snacks and let him watch TV while I do the laundry and nurse the baby and some days I just need things to be easy. Geez, why didn’t anyone tell me parenting was going to be so HARD?

We’ve been working on all the pre-schooly type stuff – letters and numbers and counting and colors – but if you try to tell him the number after six is seven he will YELL AT YOU. Although he gets fourteen right every single time. Since we’re not doing preschool (or pre-preschool or whatever you send your 2-year-old to this fall), I’m going to try to do more of that learning-type stuff, but the kid is only TWO. He doesn’t really NEED to know his numbers when he can’t even wipe his own butt.

Speaking of wiping his own butt…wait, no. I don’t want to talk about it. Let’s just say he is 100% capable of being potty trained RIGHT NOW if he didn’t refuse to poop in the toilet. Because obviously hiding behind the laundry basket and pooping in his diaper is WAY more fun. What. Ever.

Favorite things include dinosaurs, fish, ducks, trucks, bubble baths, diggers, bars (granola or Nutrigrain, not like where you order beer), eating cherries all by himself, Nick Jr, being tickled, giving kisses, naps, naming different kinds of sports, lemonade, milk, Sun Chips (thanks to his father), books, piggy back rides and RUNNING FAST.

Least favorite things are still being told NO, being told to apologize to his sister, leaving somewhere if he’s having fun (but to be fair, NO ONE likes that), watching mama’s show aka the news, booboos, wearing shoes, spicy food and the part in Harry Potter with the snake.

"Sit DOWN, Mama. We sit DOWN."

Commanding his tiny invisible army.

BALL KICK!

All the gingers

I SORRY MAMA. I SORRY, NO HIT SISTER. SORRY BEBEH. SORRY!!!

Happy 29 Months Little Man!

29 Month Milestones (from BabyCenter, as usual)

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
• Brushes teeth with help – Evan is a master tooth brusher, if you don’t count the part where he mostly just chews on the bristles and sucks all the toothpaste off.
• Washes and dries own hands – He would ask his hands all day long if I let him. In his toddler dream house there are sinks in EVERY ROOM.
• Draws a vertical line – No, he only draws diagonal lines. But if I turn the paper they’re vertical, so SCREW YOU Baby Center and your stupid milestone that I am totally counting as a YES.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
• Draws a circle – Yes, but don’t tell him that. He thinks he’s drawing actual stuff, like fish or kitties.
• Balances on one foot – Yes, the better to roundhouse kick you in the junk.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
• Puts on a T-shirt – He THINKS he can put on a t-shirt, but he always ends up tied in a knot with his arm stuck through the head hole. And because I’m such a great mom, I laugh at him EVERY TIME.
• Names one color – He can name red, blue, yellow, orange, and white, but when you ask “What color is this?” he only gets it right about 75% of the time.
• Names one friend – Little Evan has 2 best friends, Tristan and Amelia. He calls them “Triss and Ayahyah”. He LOVES them and asks to see them every day. It makes my heart explode with happiness.

I had to do the math TWICE to make sure 28 months wasn’t 2 and a HALF, but instead only 2 and a THIRD (and I’m still not 100% sure I’m right) because I am clinging to those extra 2 months like my life depends on it. Not that it’s doing me any good – my toddler isn’t even toddling anymore (he hasn’t really toddled in more than a year but whatevs) because he’s too busy running full speed into the deep end of the lake or away from me across the mall. Or into traffic. We’re working on “DANGER! STOP MOVING!” but unfortunately he seem to suffer from temporary hearing loss in parking lots. I suspect it’s a fairly common medical problem among toddlers.

Little Evan’s new obsession is TRUCKS. I am both pleased and saddened – I’m pleased I don’t have to hear about every single basketball net we pass in the car, but do you KNOW how many trucks we see on the way to…anywhere? Trash truck! Box truck! Trailer truck! Dump truck! Tow truck! FIRE TRUCK! FIRE TRUCK MAMA FIRE TRUCK!!!! He also knows where the fire stations are on our regular routes and starts talking about them as soon as we get in the car. I bought him a yellow dump truck toy at Target the other day and he slept with it during nap time. I ALSO bought him a pink baby doll stroller and a baby doll, since he freaked the freak out when he saw the “bebehs!” I hid them in the dining room and he forgot about them, so while I’m gone E can use the promise of brand new shiny toy to keep him in line. I suspect he will end up sleeping with both the stroller and the doll.

Little Evan has an excellent memory and great parroting skills – he’ll repeat anything (note: ANYTHING) you say and he loves to talk about things he did yesterday or last week or a month ago. I can understand his words about 90% of the time, although other people still have trouble. He can identify things by color now (ORANGE digger! BLUE bus!) and by size (BIG boat!) and sometimes brings me letters from his magnet set and tells me what they are. He loves to count “Five, six, GO!” or he says “Eight….nine…” when he’s playing Stroller Strides. I heard him count backwards from 5 to 1 the other day, but he won’t do it on demand. Apparently he doesn’t feel like performing as if he was my trained monkey. How rude.

We’re having a little trouble with his listening skills, but I blame that on being a toddler. The “I’m going to count to three” threat works REALLY WELL, although I’m actually not sure what I would DO if he ever let me get to three. Sometimes he also has trouble apologizing, even when he is literally hiding his face in shame because he know he did something wrong (and I am trying not to laugh because the face hiding is SO CUTE) but he both says and signs sorry and will give hugs and kisses to make it better.

Likes include all kinds of trucks, construction equipment, boats, water, Daddy, giving hugs, reading books, naps, his baby sister, sippy cups of milk, the farm, lollipops, the iPad, Angry Birds, the car carts at the grocery store, his two best toddler friends, running and jokes. Dislikes include holding hands, wearing sandals, sharing toys (unless he’s trying to trade for a better toy), being told he HAS to eat something, the baby touching his blanket, pooping on the potty (blarg) and being tired.

28 Month Milestones (from BabyCenter, as usual)

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
• Jumps with both feet – He can now jump with both feet INTO something, like a lake or the pool or my lap. That last one isn’t always so fun.
• Opens doors – Yes and loves to do it. If I don’t let him open the back door when we come home I risk A Tantrum.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
• Understands descriptions (e.g., big, soft) – Yes, as long as it’s one he’s heard before, although he remembers most stuff after hearing it JUST ONCE.
• Draws a vertical line – Yes! He has JUST decided he likes drawing and I’m looking forward to his gorgeous, museum quality pieces. He’s currently in his Purple Period, which means he refuses to color with any marker but purple.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
• Starts to recognize ABCs – We’re still working on it, but he’s definitely improved a billion percent since I started worrying about it several months ago. I don’t think I’ve doomed him to a life of illiteracy after all.
• Balances on one foot – Easily. If I ever do end up selling him to the circus, he’s a shoe-in for the tightrope act.

There isn’t any point pretending Little Evan isn’t a full-blown person-type human anymore. There’s almost no trace of baby left on him, as if every night in his bath we wash another layer off, revealing the Big Kid underneath. He carries a (toy) phone in his pocket for goodness sake. Next week he’ll be asking for the keys so he can pick up his friends for a movie. BUT I WILL SAY NO. At least not until he takes out the trash and feeds the dog.

I am constantly amazed by how much he takes in and remembers about our days and conversations. It makes me feel like all the shlepping around and packing and planning actually MEANS something to him, even if he is too young to remember it when he’s older. But when he’s still asking about “Farm? Sheep-baa? Go, mama? Friends?” a week after we went to the farm it makes me smile. It also breaks my heart that I promised him a ride on the horse-drawn carriage at Mystic Seaport last weekend but had to cancel due to my foot-sprain and every time we get in the car now he asks about the “horse-boat?” Soon, Buddy! As soon as I can walk I PROMISE.

He has a funny way of saying words that are more than one syllable that is totally adorable but means I have to serve as a translator with most grown-ups. (Kids, on the other hand, understand him even better than I do.) For example, he says “Plees. Car.” for “police car” and “Bass. Ball. Net.” for “basketball net”. He recently learned to love my singing – bless his heart – and will request songs by singing his own mini-version or with hand motions. His favorites are Row, Row, Row Your Boat, Baa Baa Black Sheep, You Are My Sunshine and Happy Birthday.

Little Evan took a four hour nap at some point last week and woke up 2 full inches taller. All the 24 month summer clothes I bought him are too small, and he’s safely in a 2T or even a 3T and a size 6 shoe. He’s still in a size 5 diaper and will probably be in them for a while. We’re taking a casual approach to potty training that’s not stressing anyone out but is also going to take a looooong time. But we’re OK with that.

Favorite things include books, running, pointing out basketball nets, his baby sister, boats, horses, Daddy, his friends, napping with his blankets, taking pictures, splashing and the iPad. Least favorite things include being tired, hearing no, water when he can’t touch the bottom, swallowing strange food (he’ll put it in his mouth and chew it up), and being buckled in the stroller.

Damn those birds! Why are they so angry?!

Eyelashes & rosy cheeks

So much attitude for someone who can't wipe his own butt.

27 Month Milestones (from BabyCenter, as usual)

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
• Jumps with both feet – Yes, jumping has always been one of his strong points.
• Opens doors – Yes, both the regular doorknob kind and the lever kind. Like, for instance, on our back screen door. Which means he can escape the house.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
• Understands descriptions (e.g., big, soft) – I’d say about 80% of the time yes. He knows a bunch of colors, and big and small, and mama’s vs. dada’s vs. baby’s, and a bunch more. You can say “Evan, go get that round thing over there” and he will go get it.
• Draws a vertical line – He’s not too interested in drawing, but he can use his finger to make a straight line on an iPad (totally counts).

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
• Starts to recognize ABCs – Starts, yes. I’m thrilled to see this on the “advanced” skills for his age, because it seems like TONS of my internet friends have toddlers younger than Evan who already know almost all their letters. I was worried I’d been failing Evan somehow by not doing alphabet drills before and after every nap time. But how do you FORCE a 2 year old to learn his letters when he’s busy kicking balls and playing Angry Birds? Now that he likes playing with his VTech magnet letter thing he recognized a lot more of them.
• Balances on one foot – Yes, and I know this because he puts his pants on like a REAL PERSON now. I almost cried the first time I realized I didn’t have to make him lie down to get dressed.

Happy half-birthday to you
Happy half-birthday to you
Happy half-birthday my darling Caroline
Happy half-birthday to you!

Or if you prefer, the other song I’ve been singing all day

OMG HOW ARE YOU SIX MONTHS OLD ALREADY?
STOP GROWING! STOP TRYING TO CRAWL!
AND WHY WON’T YOU DRINK FROM THIS DAMN BOTTLE?

You are again (still) a delightful baby, who loves smiling and being smiling at. You’ve enjoyed both the aquarium and the seaport this week, plus Stroller Strides and knitting group – it is SO NICE that I can take you places without major meltdowns. Your teeth are still not through so I expect a few more crying fits before we’re through the woods but they don’t seem to be bothering you as much as this time last month. I could really do without the gnawing my nipple raw though. Not cool.

Although I was expecting you to be as chubby as your brother was, instead you’ve turned into a little munchkin, still fitting into your 3 month onesies most of the time. I’m thrilled, since all your cutest summer hand-me-downs are 6 month sized and I was afraid your leg chub would get so out of control I’d have to pack them all away. It’s kind of nice that you’re still small – it’s keeping me from feeling desperate for a teeny tiny baby again too soon. Also, it makes your already HUGE EYES look even huger in your itty bitty face.

You still don’t like bottles but you did eat some rice cereal so I’m hopeful you’ll like solids better than your brother did. The avocado didn’t go over very well – WHY don’t my babies like avocado?! – but I’ve got a bowl full of fruit to try out this week.

Some of your new favorite things include riding in the big girl seat of the stroller, being worn half on my hip in the Ergo (I should really figure out the RIGHT way to do a hip carry), stealing toys from your brother and play with the dog’s tail. You dislike the sun in your eyes, shoes, bottles, 7:30 pm and getting stuck under the couch.

Mobile baby is hard to keep in the picture

Look, I'm sitting up! Such a big girl!

Whoops. Fell down.

This picture is straight out of the camera, no touch ups at all

6 Month Milestones (from BabyCenter, as usually)

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
Turns toward sounds and voices – Sounds, voices, music, everything. And half the time she tries to take my nipple with her.
Imitates sounds – I guess? She babbles a lot but I’m not sure if I would say she’s IMITATING anything.
Rolls over in both directions – CAN roll over in both directions, but prefers to just hang out on her belly although JUST TODAY she started barrel rolling to get across the room

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
Is ready for solid foods – I dunno. Maybe. She sort of gummed an animal cracker the other day. I’m going to start offering stuff this week.
Sits without support – Yes, although she’s still a little unpredictable with the falling over.
Mouths objects – HAHAHAHAHAHA Yes.
Passes objects from hand to hand – Yes, but I’m not sure it’s exactly on purpose.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
Lunges forward or starts crawling – Lunges and faceplants, although she is getting SUPER close to crawling and can get both knees under herself for several seconds.
Jabbers or combines syllables – Coos like crazy but nothing that I would call syllables.
Drags objects toward himself – Yes, she spins herself around on her stomach then reaches for her toys. I can scatter them around the floor and it keeps her entertained for close to an hour.

Those skills seem sort of weird, right? How is “drags objects” a MORE advances skill that sitting up? Sitting up is HARD.