It’s been a month since we stopped paying $100+ a month for our TV habit (two months since we first talked about it) and no one has died. It’s a miracle. There haven’t even been any hissy fits or screaming arguments over who gets to watch Their Show and who has to Wait. Look at us! Compromising! Give and take! General awesomeness! Exclamation point!

I’ve had more conversations about that decision than almost anything else I’ve ever written about, so clearly we’re not the only ones who think cable companies are owned and run by the devil himself sort of a rip-off. Since we take our TV very seriously, E put a LOT of ridiculously dorky time into planning how we would watch various shows even without the Super Awesome Cable Plan of Amazing Awesomeness and Thousands of Dollars A Year.

First, let me clarify that we ended up NOT canceling all of our cable. We currently pay $16.80 for basic cable service and $49.95 for the second fastest internet package Comcast offers. We USED to pay $149.99 for TV, $15 for HBO, $7 for the HD DVR plus the $49.95 for internet and a totally unidentifiable amount for a home phone only used to talk to telemarketers. Although the bill claimed our “package” cost only $119, our monthly amount due ranged from $180 to $210 based on…I have no idea. How many nice things I said about Comcast on Twitter that week? How many times we rewound So You Think You Can Dance while saying “Did you SEE THAT?!?!?!”  So losing the “package”, the DVR and the home phone equals a savings of approximately $120 a month.

Second, we have the advantage of already owning a desktop computer with a TV tuner card. Actually, two TV tuner cards. Basically, that means we can watch all our TV through the computer with the added benefit of being able to *GASP* pause, rewind, and record live TV. Finding out I could do that without a fancy cable box or Tivo subscription was like finding out I was secretly adopted. The cards cost anywhere from about $40 to $150 depending on where you shop/what you want/how tech savvy you are when it comes to installing that kind of stuff yourself, but since that’s less than 1 month’s cable cost they are DEFINITELY worth it.

So with basic cable (which in our area includes all the major networks plus USA, Discovery, Spike, TCM, and about a dozen shopping and Spanish language channels) plus the computer card we can watch/record two broadcast shows at once or record one and watch another. I also still get my morning news and lunchtime Price is Right. We have it hooked up actually through the computer so turning on the TV takes an extra step but it’s worth it for the DVR and channel guide the tuner card provides.

“But I don’t have a fancy computer!” you say, “I want to watch broadcast shows! And also, I will DIE if I can’t watch Teen Mom!”

To you I present: Hulu.com. Not only did they have really funny commercials about Alec Baldwin eating your brain, they’re actually a REALLY good way to watch TV. E made a spreadsheet showing when shows air vs. when shows are available online and the answer is almost always the next day. Here’s just part of it (click on it if you can’t read the tiny writing):

If for some insane reason you want the whole thing, I can email it to you. I just couldn't get the whole 50 show spreadsheet into one screenshot. Oh and it was for the summer lineup so some shows are listed as airing on "0" because they weren't on.

There are a few shows I have to track down online (Project Runway and Army Wives on Lifetime, anything on TNT, CW shows, which are especially hard to find – I STILL haven’t seen the premiere of ANTM) and I don’t get to see non-network award shows (like the VMA’s Sunday night) but EVERYTHING ELSE – including Teen Mom – is on Hulu. The best part is you can go through and add all the shows to your queue so when you log in it shows you the new episodes you have to watch. There isn’t a limit on how many shows from each time slot you can watch either, so even though I’ve missed several seasons of Dancing With the Stars because too many things I watched were on at that time I will definitely get to watch it this season (for the record, Jennifer Gray is going to win. NOBODY PUTS BABY IN THE CORNER WITHOUT A SPARKLY DISCO BALL TROPHY).

Which means I may actually be watching MORE TV than I was with the fancy cable package. I’m humming “Ironic” in my head. Not because this is the perfect definition of irony, but neither is rain on your wedding day so I feel justified.

Throw in a Netflix – now streaming movies straight to your tv! and computer! and XBox! and Wii! all of which we have! – subscription for $18 a month and we’ve got seasons and seasons of shows we might not have watched the first time around (Dear Joss Whedon, please please please forgive me) plus enough HBO and Showtime series to tie up entire weekends of time. Even if the very newest seasons aren’t available instantly you can get them in the mail as soon as they’re released on DVD. (Sort of. Some movies seem to be released on Netflix later than they’re actually released on regular DVD at the store.)

So, there you go: the least concise and most confusing explanation of how to watch TV on a budget ever.

(It helps that I am not the sort of person who gets upset at spoilers. If who wins Top Chef is REALLY important to you you’re going to have to make sure you watch the finale live at a friend’s house. Or if you don’t want to know that at the end of season 4 of Dexter *blank* is *blank* in the *blank* OMG!!!!! you’ll have to avoid not only the whole internet, but clip shows, talk shows, and most of your friends. Or you can just forget that someone already told you the ending. Like I did.)

(Disclaimer: Hulu, Netflix, Comcast and anyone else mentioned in this post have no idea who I am and would probably rather I NOT mention them on this blog. I wasn’t smart enough to ask them for compensation before writing about any of the companies so I’m plugging them all for free. Except for Comcast, who I’m sort of UNplugging, although now that I don’t curse their name every time I pay the bill I have to say we actually love their internet service.)

(This next part is written by E.  You’ve been warned.)

The computer we use is an Acer that we got from TigerDirect. com.  The dual band TV tuner card we also got from TigerDirect.com.   Another source of programming for us Comcast users is their Fancast site.  Really it is just a portal to all of the streaming services already available for free (like hulu), but it does allow you to watch shows online if you currently have a subscription to that channel.  I won’t bore you anymore, unless of course you want some more information, then tell Suzanne and I’ll write something much more lengthy.

(Disclaimer 1: Yesterday and last night Baby Evan was a fussy mess. His 3 hour nap was broken up by several crying fits, stayed sad and grumpy most of the afternoon and got up twice last night, a record I would have thought was awesome just a few months ago but now sends me into a spiraling mess of exhaustion and hopelessness, as in “OH GOD I REMEMBER THIS NOT SLEEPING THING AND I CAN. NOT. DO. IT.” )

(Disclaimer 2: I don’t actually have a second child yet, so take everything with a grain of salt. Or maybe a ginormous, huge, Utah salt flats sized block.)

I’ve decided that having a second baby is infinitely easier than having a first baby.

When you’re pregnant the first time, most of your friends are childless. Childless people flock together like beautiful, exotic birds to go out on Saturday night and do fun things like drink alcohol in bars and rub up against each other and plan spur-of-the-moment trips to Thailand or Paris or Antarctica or Mars or whatever fancy location is hip this week. There is no place for babies in that world – it’s too hard to find shoes to match every color of poop. Even if you have a sister or a cousin or a best friend who had babies first, they probably aren’t a part of your daily social circle. You get all your advice from books or message boards or magazines and end up setting incredibly unrealistically high standards for every part of your life as a mom. You struggle through the first few months of babydom alone, or at least feeling alone, until you finally venture out of the house blinking and squinting at the lights like that poor groundhog in Pennsylvania, hoping the long winter is over.

The second time around, your childless friends have flocked away and you hang out with other parents. Parents understand babies. You meet at the library or at a playground or through daycare or a mom’s group or a local baby store. You plan mid-week playdates when all your old friends are at work and only visit coffee shops that have drive thru windows and take trips to the zoo instead of weekends at the spa. You plan to go to France and Antarctica and Mars together…someday. Right now you’re too busy trading baby sitter stats and tips for hiding vegetables in your brownies.

And Thank God for all of that. Mom friends have no problem listening to endless complaints about morning sickness and exhaustion and diaper explosions. They have real world advice on how to deal with teething and spit up and problems latching and first solids. They have maternity clothes in various sizes and seasons that they will lend/give you. Their garages and attics are full of boxes of baby clothes they are dying to get rid of, especially if you are having a baby the opposite gender from the first one. (You will, of course, still buy a few things yourself but you don’t actually have to.) They will watch your kid at the playground while you run off to find a bathroom because you need to pee. AGAIN.

If you’re super lucky, you’re mom’s group will have an organized Mama Meals program and by the time you actually get around to having the second baby your freezer will be stocked with enough frozen lasagnas and casseroles and homemade baked goods to feed an army of hungry husbands and toddlers.

You know that, realistically, you probably won’t need that crib for at least a few months so having a nursery done before 32 weeks gestation is overkill. You already have the baby gear you ACTUALLY couldn’t live without, rather than the things on the Must Have Baby Items Registry List Sponsored By Babies R Us, Enfamil And Your Own Psychotic Need To Plan Ahead.

You know that there IS such a thing as too many newborn size diapers.

And when the second baby actually comes and you’ve got spit up in your hair and haven’t slept in a week and would kill for a pizza instead of a frozen casserole, you will have friends who understand, bring you a frappuccino, and maybe even watch that pesky first kid for an hour or two.

I an 25 weeks today and I haven’t so much as opened my copy of What To Expect this time around. It is glorious.

Another family photo album in lieu of a real blog post. Not that my real posts are ever brilliant to begin with, so no big loss.

We very ambitiously decided to head into Washington on Labor Day despite not getting home until 1 am, one hangover, one separated pelvis, and one child we knew was probably going to miss nap time. My folks only live 20 minutes from DC (when there’s no traffic) so we were prepared for a short visit if we couldn’t handle it. A quick escape proved unnecessary and we made it about half way down the Mall before the pregnant one started complaining too much as we had to give up on seeing the World War II memorial. That’s what happens when you park illegally by the Capitol building all the way at one end of the Mall and think “yeah, we can TOTALLY walk 4 miles in three hours with a stroller and still see several large museums and monuments.” You miss stuff.

Air & Space Museum. Did you know it's the most visiting museum of any kind anywhere in the world? That's the kind of cool stuff you can learn when you eavesdrop on the tourguides. All the good stuff is on the ceiling so Baby Evan spent a lot of time like this.

For the most-visited museum it was pretty not crowded on a holiday. Look closely, do you see the hobo baby in this picture?

Family Picture!! Tired Baby Looks Tired, but he did really well despite the sun and the crowds.

There was no way to accurately capture with a picture how cool this sculpture is. When you walk past, it appears to be turning but really it's just the perspective. Yeah, sorry, that didn't help. Maybe there's a video on YouTube or something.

Natural History Museum, home of my favorite thing to visit in DC - The Hope Diamond

See Baby Evan's blurry little hand? He's signing "fish! fish! fish!!!!" He likes them almost as much as dogs.

More fish. Ancient, scary, giant-toothed fish, but still fish. Strangely enough, he didn't react AT ALL to the dinosaurs. Maybe because he doesn't know the sign.

I mean, even *I* like the T-Rex. You'd think a kid would too. Nope.

Part of an elephant. Maybe. Baby Evan liked poking it.

24 Weeks - it's a Good Amount of pregnant. We've reached a turning point on viability (not that I WANT to have a super-premie but knowing the baby would have a shot if something unexpected happened is nice), I'm not horribly uncomfortable, I still have plenty of things to wear, and I haven't reached the "swollen bloated manatee" stage yet. Can I just stay here?

The whole trip I couldn’t stop commenting on how much I LOVE Washington. It’s such a great tourist destination. You can break up lots of outside walking with museums that are sciencey or arty or historical or fun and they’re all free. The Metro is super easy to navigate, there are tons of places to eat, and most of the time the crowds are manageable. E and I talked about our chances of ever getting transferred to the DC area and decided if it becomes and option we will definitely take it. Of course, it could be 10 years before that happens and my folks don’t plan to live there to offer free babysitting forever, but if they haven’t moved it would be the perfect icing on a lovely just-southern-enough cake. Of course, then I remembered the high crime rate and the insane cost of living and the constant, never-ending politics and the TRAFFIC and how much I complained about the total lack of fun stuff to do when I was growing up there. But hey, no where is perfect.

If you’re feeling clicky today, I’d appreciate it! I think I’m on page three. Maybe four. Shamefully uncool, is what I’m saying, and my ego could use the extra bump. XOXO!

I was too busy passing my baby off on other people to do a post in honor of his 17 month milestone this weekend. Yes, I am a terrible, neglectful, horrible mother AND I DON’T EVEN CARE A TEENY TINY BIT. It was actually a much more important milestone for E and me – we’ve never turned baby bedtime over to anyone else before. My parents swear it was fine besides some protests over the big, slippery bath tub and Baby Evan was so exhausted from TWO dogs and several balls that he slept in later than I did every day. We are now one step closer to hiring an actual non-related baby sitter so we can make date night a regular event.

Ok, I swear I am done talking about how much we needed that break. Over. Done.

We really needed a break. A together break. Couple time is totally different from just a mommy break.

Sorry. Now let’s talk about my kid!

17 month milestones from Baby Center, as usual

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
• Uses six words regularly – Yes, sort of, maybe. Most days it feels like the only two words he says are “dog” and “ball”. DOG! BALL! DOG! BALL! And new from this weekend, “DOGBALL!” – as in the ball that belongs to the dog and is not for babies. Definitely yes if you count signs.
• Enjoys pretend games – Maybe? I’m not always sure what he’s doing when he entertains himself. I guess he’s pretending. He is very good at making imaginary phone calls.
• Likes riding toys – Loves riding toys. Especially the dog. He also tried to ride his little V-Tech helicopter today with very poor results.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
• Feeds doll – He’d rather feed Mommy or Daddy or Brutus. He’s very good at sharing food.
• Speaks more clearly – Well, “NO” no sounds exactly like “NO” instead of “neeaaawwwoo!!” He can also add “no” to any other word to make a sentence – “no dog!” “no ball!” “no dada!” “no book!”
• Throws a ball underhand – My kid is a ball throwing genius. He’s been throwing overhand (on the chart as an “advanced skill” at 18 months) for months already and has EXCELLENT aim. He can also catch the small blue ball about 50% of the time, which isn’t even on the under-two charts. Now we just have to decide which sports to sign him up for. (Football? Baseball?)

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
• Dances to music – He is a dancing FOOL. I swear I’ll get good video some time soon, but most of his dancing is to commercials on TV (add one more point to the bad mommy tally) so it’s only for a few seconds. He also “sings” sometimes, which is adorable.
• Sorts toys by color, shape, or size – Are they balls? He can sort those. He doesn’t really play with the toys specifically made for sorting yet, but he can sort his food based on color.
• Kicks ball forward – BAAAAAAALL!!!!! So, yes. (Soccer?)

A quick round-up of everything else: Baby Evan has 12 teeth – only missing the 2 year molars and the four canines. He’s going to get his first haircut soon, unless I can’t bring myself to do it because I don’t think the back-of-the-head curls are going to grow back and I love them SO SO much. He still refuses to wear shoes most of the time, although that’s mostly because he has TEENY TINY MIDGET FEET and all his cute size 5 sneakers are still too big and the size 4’s pinch his toes. He goes to sleep after a bath and a book without any protest, sleeps from 8 pm to 8 am and takes a 2-3 hour nap around 1 o’clock. (Do not ask me how we managed that, it was blind luck and a good tempered kid). We are still using cloth diapers during the day and disposables at night or when we travel, a system that works really well for us. Baby Evan is a champ at riding in the car, riding in the stroller and going new places. He loves everyone and gives out hugs and high-fives within minutes of meeting strangers. It is AMAZING to watch him grow into an actual little person, although sometimes littler person opinions can be a challenge. And I’ve got to stop laughing at his temper tantrums or I’ll encourage the banging-his-head-against-the-floor-and-stomping-his-feet-fits he’s recently started. They’re just so hilarious, especially since he knows not to hit people and dogs and often flounces off to hit a couch or a wall instead. Oh the flouncing.

Happy 17 months Baby Evan! I promise to stop calling you Baby really really soon!

Hockey? Daddy would like that one best. And yes, again, hobo baby wears no shoes.

Two of his favorite things: Dog and Yarn.

Food breakthrough: HUMMUS. Spinach and artichoke here. The mess is definitely worth the nutritional value.

Party Baby!! It's a whistle from the bachelorette party that I sadly broke just a few minutes after Baby Evan figured out how it worked. "Accidentally" broke, of course.

And here’s your bonus Baby Evan video of the week: attempting to jump. Jumping isn’t on the milestone chart until almost 2 years, so clearly these attempts are early and understandably less than perfect. But he loves doing it!

Sorry about the video, I forgot to turn my phone sideways & the quality isn’t very good, but you can get the idea.

(Maybe not basketball)

THE DRESS FIT.

The End.

I know that was really all anyone wanted to hear about – especially my real life friends, since I don’t think I’ve talked about anything else for weeks. Of course, my fear of the dress not fitting didn’t stop me from stuffing my face enjoying the delicious rehearsal dinner or catered lunch at the salon. Pregnancy is equal to about four glasses of wine when it comes to helping you make good choices. Maybe that’s the REAL reason you aren’t supposed to drink while pregnant – you’re already just a few seconds away from doing something really stupid, no need to add alcohol.

I look like the Hulk next to those teeny tiny maids. HULK SMASH J CREW!!

It was a super awesome fun time. Half the guests were from England (as is the Groom), so cute accents and extremely high alcohol tolerances were plentiful. It’s probably good I was knocked up and unable to enjoy more than a sip of champagne, since “open bar” is a dangerous thing to offer someone having her very first date night in 17 months and who hasn’t even finished a glass of wine in more than 2 years.

Since it’s not my wedding and most of you don’t know who any of these people are, I’ll try to keep the pictures to a minimum. I’m also EXTREMELY disappointed I didn’t pass my camera off to anyone  – I don’t have a single head-on shot with my dress and hair and makeup done, and NO pictures of me and E together or me in the borrowed comfy-yet-still-super-classy black dress I changed into for the dancing and eating part of the reception. Unfortunately, I don’t think any of the people at my table (the official Friends From High School table) had cameras, so the chances of a good picture popping up on Facebook is pretty small. I also loved the bulk lace table runners they had to decorate while we had dinner together.

Here’s your free tip of the day: IF YOU LOOK NICE FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE GIVING BIRTH, GET LOTS OF PICTURES OF YOURSELF.

Every picture of myself I have – the two on the ends are cropped like 400% because they’re really of lots of people. But you don’t know them.

(As a sidenote, although I have hated almost every picture of myself for the past 6 years, I don’t mind these. Being pregnant is a pretty good excuse for a double chin and my arms look not as huge as they used to be.)

I did steal these from someone’s Facebook – just not someone I know. Despite all my complaining about the dress being TERRIBLE for pregnant people, they looked spectacular in the pictures.

I have a whole series of pictures from the “putting on the dress” portion of the afternoon. They’re hilarious.

Isn’t she gorgeous? Everything about the day was gorgeous. For anyone who’s also thinking of marrying someone in the nearest future, check out these titanium wedding bands for sale because they are just plain beautiful. Enough said. 

That is the official E Dancing Face. He was SO THRILLED to be dancing. I wish I could explain the dancing better, but you’ll just have to trust me when I say dancing is His Thing.

I also got to meet a reader (I will NOT say “fan”) who I didn’t know before – the bride was kind enough to send her a link when she was pregnant last year and for some crazy reason she’s kept reading. It was AWESOME, if only because I’d been doing my best not to talk about my kid for the past two days and suddenly here was someone who WANTED to talk about babies. Within seconds we were already discussing our struggles with breastfeeding and cloth diapers and labor preparations. I’ve never met someone I knew through blogging before (I know people who also blog but I don’t know them FROM their blogs, if that makes sense) but it really is like having an instant friend. So great to meet you Kim!

So, who wants to get married next? E and I definitely need another weekend like this one.