A Man of Few Words

There’s nothing like the internet to make you feel bad about your kid’s milestones, amiright?

At least I totally won in mobility milestones with the “My kid’s walking already!” I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I looooved the looks on other mom’s faces at the mall when my answer to “Wow, he’s walking so well! How old is he?” was “Just turned 10 months. He’s very active!”

Oh parenting karma, thou art a total bitch.

At almost 16 months, Baby Evan is definitely communicative but not exactly verbose. He doesn’t pick up new words very quickly or repeat things we say immediately, although every once in a while shocks me by correctly using a word or sign I had no idea he knew (like “more”, which I swear to God I signed four hundred times a day for three months until I gave up – and then a couple weeks ago he was all “yeah, I want more, give me more, WHY DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I’M SAYING WOMAN??? MOOOOOOORE.”)

Words He Says Consistently (and mostly understandably)
Ball
Dog
Cat
Balloon
Book
Daddy
Kiss
Uh Oh
No
Bye

Words He Signs
More
Dog
Eat
In
Milk
Bird
Fish
Hot
Yucky
Bye bye
Baby (I LOVE this one, he knows the baby is in my belly too)

Words He Might Be Saying But I Have *COUGH* NO IDEA Where He Would Have Learned
Shit

Words He Understands
Hey kid, stop running away from me and come over here!
Uh oh, you made a mess! Can you use this paper towel to clean it up?
Would you like to go play on the playground?
Where did you put that pink plastic cover thing that goes on Mommy’s phone?
That’s dirty, can you throw it in the trash?
Where’s your nose?
Where are your feet?
Don’t touch Daddy’s computer.
You may touch the yarn but please don’t grab it.
Stop hitting the dog.
Stop jumping on your baby sister.
Stop trying to climb the stairs.
Danger!

And pretty much EVERYTHING ELSE we say to him. He has no shortage of comprehension skills – it’s just a matter of whether or not he feels like listening. Because he’s a toddler and toddlers are JERKS.

So I guess he’s not exactly STUNTED in the vocabulary department. It just feels like it because of the internet. Maybe the INTERNET is the jerk.

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17 Responses to “A Man of Few Words”

  1. Shannon says:

    The internet is a jerk. I bet he understands a lot more than you think, too.

  2. Shannon says:

    Grr. I meant, I bet he knows a lot more words than you think. You may not be able to understand them, but they probably have meaning to him.

  3. TMae says:

    You can only trust the internet when it tells you what you want to hear. For instance, the internet tells me that “most kids” O’s age have a vocabulary of 3-5 words. You know what O’s vocabulary is? Zilch. He *might* say dog, but we can’t be sure, because no one in this house speaks fingers-in-mouth toddler. So, I basically ignore the internet in these situations. And possibly his doctor. STOP STRESSING ME OUT PEOPLE!

    • bebehblog says:

      It’s not even like I spend all my time Googling baby milestones to freak myself out. I just read a LOT of mom blogs and it seems like everywhere I turn some 13 month old is saying “Antidisestablishmentarianism!” or “I go potty!” or “Doggie say woof!”

      I can’t even get mine to say “Mama”. Although today he learned the sign for “bunny” in one try. I love the signing.

  4. Amy says:

    I have divorced the internet. It only makes me stressed out what with the not walking thing at 15 months… (we are getting closer and closer every day, but sometimes i just want the internet to tell me WHEN it will actually happen…)

  5. Robyn says:

    I agree with the previous comments…only believe the internet when it is convenient for you…or keep searching until you find the answer you like. :)

  6. E says:

    You forgot “eddy” “oh” for ready – throw. Possibly my favorite. Besides the correct use of the bad word that may or may not be what he saying. Like “I just ran into the counter and hit my head” = “Oh seit” (could be that he is saying “oh great”, but I doubt it).

  7. yup, for the longest time i thought my kid might be mute. he still is SUPER behind in talking. 2 years old and has only about 25-30 words, at most. comparing is a slippery slope…
    don’t worry E will get it! It’s awesome that he signs, we sign too and it’s helped a TON.

  8. Crissy says:

    My Evan has been consistently slow when it comes to physical things. I don’t mean THE DOCTOR IS WORRIED slow, just, not the first kid on the block to roll over, crawl, and walk. Just not his thang, and I kinda decided that he would do it all in his own time.

    He’s a gifted speaker, that IS his thing, but I have friends whose kids didn’t talk until they were 2 and then started speaking in these super intelligent sentences all of a sudden, so it’s totally hard to tell!! :)

    Your little E. is brilliant!

  9. My 20 mo DD barely speaks at all. She uses signs to communicate. She understands EVERYTHING. Can follow very complex directions. She can also identify all the letters of the alphabet and spell her name. Hubby and I have been perplexed, but I would not say we are concerned at this point.

    I have had other moms tell me everything from she is gifted to she has autism. Pediatrician says the latter is not a concern. I know lots of kids who did not speak until very late, but when they did they spoke in sentences. We decided to go ahead and have her evaluated by a speech therapist, but have not been able to set it up yet.

    I think there is a very wide range of what is developmentally “normal.” And plenty of normal kids can fall outside of that range. Personally, I go with my instincts, and they tell me DD will talk when she is ready. Go with what your instincts tell you. No one knows your child better than you. Certainly not the Internet! ;)

  10. I agree with the people who say only agree with you want on the internet. Also, doctors are assholes too. I took Spence today and she asked how many words he could say and I answered 8-10. Her reply? Hmmm, 10-12 would be nice.

  11. brigidkeely says:

    I dunno, maybe you should have him evaluated by a professional. I mean, by his age, shouldn’t he be giving speeches in iambic pentameter? Haven’t you been doing your duty as A Good Mother and nurturing him and reading him Shakespeare every night? It’s probably all that TV you let him watch. Have you considered throwing it out and buying a set of bongos or something instead? You know, to nurture his creative side and love of beat poetry? Whatever. It’s all your fault. Everything’s always the mom’s fault. EVERYTHING. You fiend.

    • bebehblog says:

      I <3 you.

      • brigidkeely says:

        ACTUALLY, if you want to feel superior to someone, I’m realizing just how many non-English words Niko has. No wonder he’s so frustrated with me! I don’t speak his language! So I’m like… what, do I not talk to him enough? Am I just not cool enough? He spends two days a week with his grand parents and picks up Serbian like that, and I’m around him every damn day talking to him and he doesn’t even have a name for me consistently? Jerk. (he calls me dada (what he calls his dad) and mamamam (what he calls food). thanks, buddy.)

  12. Audrey says:

    Baby, please. Everett just hit his first verbal growth spurt in the past few weeks and is FINALLY saying more than 5 words with any sort of commonality. And he’s 23 months old. My PED was trying to get me to put him into speech therapy at 15 months..I’m glad I held out. Boys don’t always do verbal stuff first..they are the physical children. And Everett was climbing stairs a full year before his female counterparts were. Heck..my boy is peeing on toilets and his 6 months-older-than-him lady friends are like “toilet…what’s a toilet? You mean you want me to do it some place OTHER than my diaper???!!!!” :D It’s so funny how we are like “wow, some moms are really competitive” and then suddenly find ourselves doing victory dances when our child FINALLY does something before someone else’s. hahaha!

  13. Emmie Bee says:

    Hudson seriously doesn’t say shit.

    Except SHIT is actually one of the few words he can say!

    And he’s a few months older than E- so yeah.

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