Posts Tagged ‘whining’

If there’s ever a Whining Olympics, I’ll bring home the gold

Monday, October 4th, 2010

I’ve been spending a lot of time lately writing two paragraph blog posts in my head and then promptly forgetting them. It’s mostly due to the fact that I’m doing all my brainstorming in the middle of the night when I a) can’t fall asleep to begin with or b) can’t fall BACK asleep after waking up for no apparent reason. This pregnancy is doing weird weird things to my internal clock and thermometer and electrical system and pretty much any other part of me that could be compared to something mechanical. When the weather changed suddenly last week and the barometric pressure went way down (or up or lopsided or whatever it is that happens when it goes from mild and humid to clear and cool) I woke up twitching from head to toe feeling like my skin was trying to crawl off my body. It was rather unpleasant. And not at all conducive to sleeping. So I stay up too late and toss and turn all night and then totally crash during Baby Evan’s nap time which means I stay up even later the next night and get even less sleep and am more exhausted so the vicious cycle continues forever and ever amen.

I felt the same way last pregnancy, only then I wasn’t chasing a toddler around all day so napping wasn’t really a problem so much as a glorious, wonderful way of life. I’m hoping if I can make it through the rest of this week sans nap and with a 10 pm bedtime my body will readjust and I can start stocking up on zzzzz’s while I still can – that number on my pregnancy ticker ain’t getting any bigger and it has DEFINITELY not been long enough since I had an infant around that I’ve forgotten what that’s like. Ugh.

My exhaustion is making every other little tiny annoyance in my life seem like a Huge Deal this week, which is just making it harder for me to relax. Huge Deal #1 is that I’m still laptopless after almost a month because we’re still deciding if we can afford to buy E a new computer or if I should just buy ANOTHER power cord for my clearly defective yet much beloved HP. So we’re “sharing” one laptop, and by “sharing” I mean I’m currently up writing blog posts at 1:20 am because it’s pretty much the only time of day E isn’t involved in some vitally important online game that he tries to guilt trip me into not nagging him about by claiming he’s “spending time” with his brother and his dad. To which I say: THAT’S WHAT PHONES ARE FOR. Because, obviously, I NEED to get online to comment on all my internet friends’ blogs and whine about things on my own. Priorities, people.

Huge Deal #2 is more bullshit with one of our worst purchases ever – E’s Jeep Grand Cherokee. Go ahead, Google “problem with my 2004 Jeep” and come back in 12 hours when you finish reading eight bazillionty forum posts about stupid problems like windshield wipers that don’t work and cruise control that fails every time it rains and the ridiculous trash they call the “heating system” but I’m pretty sure is just a hamster on a wheel working a little fan that costs $1000 every time we have to have it replaced. Which has been twice. So far. But most ridiculous of all is the windows that simply FALL INTO THE DOOR at random times and then can’t be fixed without taken the entire panel apart. It’s because some genius made the little piece that holds up the electric window out of cheap ass plastic. So the piece itself costs like $7 but the work costs $500 plus two days of being a single car family in an area that does not lend itself to single-car-ness. Did I mention this is at LEAST the second time we’ve had the window fall? I’m pretty sure it’s happened to both the driver’s and passenger’s windows once before but E thinks this is the first time on the driver’s side. He’s been driving the Jeep around with the window down for weeks now rather than getting it fixed (I think we were both secretly hoping it would just sort of…self-heal or something).  I could complain about this for another fifty years (I hate our dealership! Taking my car to work is a HUGE pain for E because of security! Being housebound with a toddler in the rain is the 8th circle of hell!) but let’s just sum up by saying the weather report for the rest of the week is so grim we’re going to bite the bullet and take the Jeep in for repairs today so I’ll be Mr. Grumpy Pants for the next few days. 8th circle of hell here I come.

Huge Deal #3 is..oh nevermind. Whatever. Let’s just say I’m annoyed at myself and annoyed at the world and annoyed at my husband and pretty much nothing is going to change that right now besides a good night’s sleep and a day without being smacked in the face by my child. And maybe a few hours of peace to get the house clean so I can stop feeling like I’m YEARS behind on my to-do list. I’d settle for weeks. The best case scenario is days. I’m exhausted already just thinking about it.

FAQs that make me want to say MYOB

Thursday, June 3rd, 2010

Is my inner Navy Wife showing yet? You know how we love our acronyms.

As a public service announcement, and to save myself a tiny bit of sanity, here are the answers to the questions I get most often when someone finds out I’m pregnant.

Oh wow, AGAIN?
No, actually, this is the first time. Baby Evan was delivered by stork. Yes, again.

Did you want to have kids so close together?
Short answer, yes. Long answer, at least the first two. We want our kids – who are destined to the nomadic life of military brats – to have at least one built in playmate.

So were you trying?
Really? Think about what you’re asking me. Do you really want to know the answer to this question? It is not a yes or no – it involves detailed descriptions of my menstrual cycle and marital relations and this one week where…wait, where are you going?! You asked!

Are you hoping for a girl?
Meh. Either way. I already have all the boy stuff and a pretty good idea what to do with one.

You must want a girl for all those cute girl clothes!
They are very cute and I will admit to squeeing over them more than once in the stores, but dressing a baby is only a one teeny tiny part of your day. And I know plenty of girls I can shop for if I want.

Do you want a girl so you can have one for your husband and one for you?
If this baby is “for my husband” then I’ve clearly been doing this wrong. Hey honey! Come get your baby! Apparently he’s not really mine because he has a penis!

Do you want a girl so then you can be done having kids?
It’s not like once you get one of each you have the whole set. They’re kids, not bookends.

Are you trying to have them all before your turn 30?
Why, is that the magical age my uterus turns into a pumpkin? This is just a good point in our lives to have kids – E isn’t deployed, I’m already home with Baby Evan, I have a great support network, and we have room for another crib. If all that stuff hadn’t lined up until I was 32 or 35 or 45 we’d probably still be childless.

Oh. So how many are you going to have?
Well our ultimate plan is to start a traveling circus so I guess I’ll keep having kids until we get one that’s double jointed, one that’s freakishly tall and one bearded lady. Or maybe we’ll just see what happens.

End public service announcement. Continue to ask above questions at your own risk.