I freaking love zucchini bread, even if it is healthy zucchini bread. Which is sort of weird, since I don’t really like zucchini. But when this time of year rolls around and the grocery store/farmer’s market starts selling them 3 for a $1 I find myself with a whole fridge full. Last year I did a bit of incredibly rare planning ahead and shredded up half a dozen zucchinis, popped then in the freezer and then made bread all fall whenever the urge hit.

When I posted about our lack of healthy food choices I got a TON of great suggestions, including one from my friend Ernie Bufflo who said healthy baked goods like zucchini bread were the only “junk” food she kept in the house. Which seems like an excellent idea on the surface, except that even zucchini bread is bad for you if you eat the entire loaf in one sitting.

So I set off across the internet to find a recipe for healthy zucchini bread. But because I am NOT willing to sacrifice the tastiness of actual bread for whatever the totally vegan, gluten-free, no-calorie sweetener, enriched with twigs and sticks option is, it’s not truly healthy. We’ll call it healthier.

Suzanne’s Healthy (er) Zucchini Bread
(I started with this recipe but used several commenter’s suggestions as well as my own adaptations)

Please ignore the ridiculously large bag of baking soda. I read a list of like 1,001 things to do with baking soda and planned to clean the whole house or make my own tooth paste or cure cancer with it or something. So far, I’ve used 2 tablespoons for baking.

Ingredients:

2 cups sugar
1/4 cup brown sugar
3 eggs
1/4 cup oil
3/4 cup applesauce
2 tablespoons vanilla
2-3 cups zucchini, grated (2 medium sized zucchini)
1 1/2 cup white flour
1 1/2 cup whole wheat flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp baking powder
1 Tbsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
Raw sugar for sprinkling (optional)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Combine the first 6 ingredients in a large bowl & mix until smooth. Stir in zucchini. Add remaining ingredients to bowl and stir stir stir.

Go ahead and stick your finger in it. You know you want to. Just remember the raw eggs and don’t complain to me if you end up puking out your eyeballs. That was a stupid thing to say in the middle of a recipe.

Pour into muffin tins or loaf pans that you’ve sprayed with non-stick spray. Add the SUPER SECRET INGREDIENT: Sprinkle the top(s) with a little raw sugar*. When doling out the batter, remember it rises but not an enormous amount so don’t skimp on filling them up. For loafs, bake at 350 for 60 minutes. For muffins, 350 for 25 minutes.

Get in my face

See the sugar on top? SO GOOD.

With a little *real* butter it’s a fantastic breakfast. Or lunch. Or dinner.

I’m not going to lie, using whole wheat flour instead of all white changes the texture a little, but not so much I would know if I didn’t know. Y’know what I mean? You could also get away with using a little less sugar – maybe 1 1/2 cups white plus the brown – but you might want to add a bit more flour to keep them from getting to liquidy. Overall I am deliciously pleased with these. Any baked good that contains both a fruit and a vegetable counts as health food in this house!

*Super Secret Ingredient:

I buy it in the little packets so I can toss some in my tea. I only used 2 packets for all 27 muffins.

So finally, at almost 14 months, my child officially eats solid food. All my fears about poor oral motor skills and gag reflex and allergies and exclusively nursing until he was 8 proved to be just normal first-time mommy induced panic and now I can go back to freaking out about the important stuff, like why doesn’t he say “mama” more often and will he grow up to be a serial killer because he likes to stand on the cat?

Baby Evan’s new and somewhat sudden interest in real, human food has left me woefully unprepared to offer healthy, age appropriate choices. It’s incredibly embarrassing to realize the only food in our house is stale bread, frozen pizza rolls, ancient cans of soup and fourteen kinds of cheese (which happens to be one of the only foods Baby Evan is still totally uninterested in) while Baby Evan whines and signs “food food food food foooooooood”. And even when I do have apples and Cheerios and yogurt and wheat bread and raisins and four dozen other things to offer him, all Baby Evan wants is cookies. Or french fries. Or jelly beans. Or one of the other terrible, horrible, no-good-for-babies things I’ve fed him over the past six months in a desperate attempt to find ANYTHING he would eat. It’s a lucky night when we’re having chicken or pasta or salmon or something I can offer him without the horrible guilt brought on by food coloring and corn syrup.

How did I end up doing this so wrong? I’ve seen plenty of news reports about childhood obesity. I scoffed at the idea of french fries being the most common vegetable in a child’s diet and swore “not MY child”. I know intellectually how important it is to start good habits now, but then suddenly it’s time to eat (breakfast, brunch, mid-day snack, lunch, early afternoon snack, etc etc etc) and all those good intentions fly right out the window. I am failing.

It’s crazy to realize feeding my child is turning out to be my greatest parenting challenge to date, especially since I thought I got the baby-feeding thing under control when Baby Evan was 4 months old. Wasn’t breastfeeding supposed to be the hard part?

Moms (and childless healthy eaters), how do you do it? How do you make sure your kids eat real, healthy, non-processed crap more (or at least as) often as they eat junk?

I feel like I need to start with a disclaimer: This post is not part of the breastfeeding/formula debate. My choice on that matter was made a long time ago and I fell firmly on the breast side of the fence. I struggled, I cried, I fought and after almost FOUR MONTHS of problems, with a very supportive LC and a lot of luck I made breastfeeding work for us. I now attend a weekly breastfeeding support group, at which I am one of the “veteran” mothers who give advice to those just starting out. I have nursed Baby Evan successfully and exclusively for his entire life. I would even go so far as to say I am a lactivist, especially when I compare my opinions to many of the posts and articles I see online. My original goal of nursing for 1 year was extended to 2 years a long time ago.

All that being said, I NEED MY BOOBS BACK.

Did you know that when you’re pregnant, the volume of blood in your body doubles? All that extra blood flow can lead to a lot of changes – both good and bad. You can use you imagination on the good stuff. (If you need any more details shoot me an email, I’d be happy to explain.) But thanks to increased sensitivity my nipples now feel like they’re being pierced with dull yet burning hot needles by someone who sucks at piercing things every time Baby Evan nurses. Let me tell you, it’s not very fun. I’d rate it somewhere between root canal with no Novocaine and having a toenail ripped out with pliers.

As far as I know, there really isn’t any way to alter this pain level, unless I were to rely on heavy narcotics. Which I don’t think is a real option. It’s not a matter of a better latch or a new way to hold him or teaching him not to bite. We’ve got all that down. The only way to stop it from hurting would be to stop nursing.

And there’s my problem. Baby Evan still nurses like an infant – every 3 or 4 hours with a couple of 6 hour stretches a night. I don’t mind morning, bedtime or even naptime nursing – there are enough hours between those that my nipples get a chance to recover. But I both CAN’T and DON’T WANT to stop nursing Baby Evan completely. I CAN’T because despite his ever increasing acceptance of solid food, Baby Evan still doesn’t eat nearly enough to count as a meal – especially not a well balanced one. French fries, animal crackers and an occasional bean or bite of apple is not lunch. At least as long as he’s nursing I know he’s not going become malnourished or obese. He still wants his milk when he’s hungry and offering other options just gets food thrown in my face and an earful of angry screaming. He never got the hang of a bottle – he’s too old for one now – and cups are usually played with and then thrown on the floor. He also doesn’t get any other liquids (although we did convince him to drink half a sippy cup of juice* this weekend) so I’d be worried about dehydration if I suddenly stopped nursing. I don’t WANT to stop because I set a goal of at least 2 years per kid. I don’t want to end my nursing relationship with Baby Evan just because of this pregnancy. I don’t think that’s a good way to introduce a new sibling to our family – “Say hi to Baby Sandy! No more milk for you! Now don’t go resenting anybody!”

Clearly, weaning him entirely isn’t in our immediate future**, but what I need is advice on how to gently lead a baby towards solids and away from the boob. We’ve past the point where I would need to use formula – my doctor OK’d starting him on whole (preferably organic) milk – but is there an easier transition? Maybe soy milk? It’s closer in consistency and flavor to breastmilk. Do I try to shorten our nursing sessions? Do I force solids on him despite the screaming and throwing? Please help a mama out.

*OK, so it wasn’t juice. It was Crystal Light. But it was orange flavored and I did water it down quite a bit some. Go ahead and judge, things are pretty desperate around here.

**I am clinging to the stories I’ve heard of toddlers who suddenly lost interest in nursing around the 5 month mark of pregnancy due to a change in milk flavor. If I KNEW the end(ish) was within sight I think I grit my teeth through the next 3 months.

I totally forgot that babies continue to grow once you get past 12 months. For some reason I had gotten it into my head that after his first birthday Baby Evan would just continue to be one forever. Which, actually, wouldn’t be so bad. It’s a pretty good age. If you don’t count the teething, which could really be said about almost any baby age. Oh teething.

Chillin' at Stroller Strides, still our favorite way to start the morning. Despite the obvious AWESOMENESS of that hat he refuses to keep it on more than 30 seconds.

On the super cool milestone front, yesterday E taught Baby Evan to climb up AND slide down his Little Tikes plastic slide by himself. There was only one falling-on-his-head incident, which is normal for an average day around here. Baby Evan sometimes falls on his head just from looking at the dog wrong. I’m really impressed he has the gross motor skills and the kind of control over his limbs it takes to climb a ladder, swing his legs around under him and push down a slide, especially since until recently the best he could do was kick the slide end and whine when I told him not to climb up that way. Although I think this means trips to the playground can no longer be called “leisurely” – the slide there is like 14 FEET TALL. Head-falling from that height is not so fun.

This picture makes my teeth hurt. Why my child is the only person on the planet who things gnawing on tin foil is fun is beyond me.

As far as the food thing goes, well, I almost don’t want to talk about it since things have improved so so so much it’s not worth jinxing. I’m willing to risk the wrath of the mommy-gods with almost ANYTHING ELSE (including sleep, as in, we night-weaned Baby Evan again this week and it’s going super well! I’m looking forward to a full 9 straight hours of sleep in my very very near future!) but when my kid actually starts opening his mouth and letting me feed him stuff off a fork I cannot screw that up. I will tell you he drank cow’s milk AND lemonade out of a glass today – with our help – so it’s just about time to start pushing the sippy cup as a means of hydration rather than just pouring water on the floor. My nipples are practically weeping with joy.

Just call me Baby E for Enigma. Or not. Whatevs. Does this look like the face of someone who cares?

Dude, we’re on a whole new chart over at BabyCenter!

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
• Uses two words skillfully (e.g., “hi” and “bye”) – I dunno. He say mama and dada with some purpose. He said “nigh-nigh” at bedtime last week. He’s said “hai” for a while but not consistently. He says things that sound like kitty and dog and no but not on command. I’m not exactly concerned about his language skills but he’s not exactly advanced.
• Bends over and picks up an object – Let’s just assume he can do every physical milestone between now and 18 months. Because physical development is not our problem.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
• Enjoys gazing at his reflection – He’s so vain, he probably thinks this blog is about him. Oh wait. Yes.
• Holds out arm or leg to help you dress him – Does kick his legs and arms and flail to prevent diaper changes count? Then yes. But he does know socks go on your feet and will try to put his socks on if I let him.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
• Combines words and gestures to make needs known – He still knows the sign for milk and dog a kitty and stop but doesn’t do them himself. I would say he combines yelling with reaching but not words and gestures.
• Rolls a ball back and forth – He can hit a ball with a stick and throw a ball in a forward direction about 75% of the time. The rest of his tries end up as some sort of slapstick routine where he drops it behind his head and gets totally confused when he can’t find it. I’ll try rolling back and forth this week.

Happy Monthday Little Monster!

I’m not sure if all kids do stuff that totally puzzles their parents or if mine is just special, but sometimes I think my baby is the strangest baby ever born.

– Baby Evan likes to sit on people. And things. And animals. But mostly people. It started with sitting in our bookcase but now he just loves sitting in general. He will walk up to a total stranger, turn around and back up until his legs hit them and them plop right down. Sunday night he sat on E’s face twice. He also sits on other babies, which could be a problem when we have a tiny one laying around.

Lounging out on the dog

– Baby Evan’s new favorite thing is my eyelashes. He will pet each eye veeeeery veeeery gently for as long as I will let him while we’re nursing, and every once in a while during the day he comes over and pats them just to make sure they’re still there. I don’t know if he likes the way they feel or if he’s just fascinated by mascara or what, but he can’t get enough eyelashes. Adorable quirk or future makeup artist?

– Although we’re starting to see some improvement, Baby Evan is still only vaguely interested in food. AND YET anything that is not food gets eaten immediately. Dirt. Plastic. Yarn. DEAD LADYBUGS. My friend Sarah’s daughter has appointed herself the mulch police at the playground since “Baby Eban eatin’ mulch again! Baby Eban not make wise choices”. How is it possible that a kid who literally spits out ice cream and bacon will eat his body weight in mulch in five minutes?

– Baby Evan is too young to start turning everything into a gun but he’s already all about swords. Spatulas are swords. Brooms are swords. Rectangular shaped blocks are swords. EVERYTHING IS A SWORD AND EVERYTHING ELSE MUST BE DEFEATED WITH THOSE SWORDS. It’s kind of funny when he pokes the cat. It’s not so funny when he smacks me in the eye while I’m trying to change his diaper. It also makes outdoor playdates quite a challenge.

EVIL TREE! I SHALL BANISH YE!

– OK, this is definitely the weirdest thing. I’m actually sort of hesitant to even post it in case 20 years from now he stumbles across this post while Googling “why do I have this strange fetish?” at the request of his therapist. Baby Evan is in love with my feet. I think he likes feet in general (starting with his own) but mine, well, mine he looooooves. Just wiggling my toes can make him laugh hysterically (insert correct link to the video I posted of the baby laughing at my feet here, if I could remember when the hell I took so I could find it again). Sometimes he kisses them. Sometimes he bites them, but I actually manages to teach him the meaning of “gentle” by shouting when he bit me too hard. He prefers it when I don’t wear shoes but will settle for gnawing on my sneakers if I refuse to take them off. I’m hoping he outgrows it. Soon.

Please tell me your kid is weird too.