Oddball

I’m not sure if all kids do stuff that totally puzzles their parents or if mine is just special, but sometimes I think my baby is the strangest baby ever born.

– Baby Evan likes to sit on people. And things. And animals. But mostly people. It started with sitting in our bookcase but now he just loves sitting in general. He will walk up to a total stranger, turn around and back up until his legs hit them and them plop right down. Sunday night he sat on E’s face twice. He also sits on other babies, which could be a problem when we have a tiny one laying around.

Lounging out on the dog

– Baby Evan’s new favorite thing is my eyelashes. He will pet each eye veeeeery veeeery gently for as long as I will let him while we’re nursing, and every once in a while during the day he comes over and pats them just to make sure they’re still there. I don’t know if he likes the way they feel or if he’s just fascinated by mascara or what, but he can’t get enough eyelashes. Adorable quirk or future makeup artist?

– Although we’re starting to see some improvement, Baby Evan is still only vaguely interested in food. AND YET anything that is not food gets eaten immediately. Dirt. Plastic. Yarn. DEAD LADYBUGS. My friend Sarah’s daughter has appointed herself the mulch police at the playground since “Baby Eban eatin’ mulch again! Baby Eban not make wise choices”. How is it possible that a kid who literally spits out ice cream and bacon will eat his body weight in mulch in five minutes?

– Baby Evan is too young to start turning everything into a gun but he’s already all about swords. Spatulas are swords. Brooms are swords. Rectangular shaped blocks are swords. EVERYTHING IS A SWORD AND EVERYTHING ELSE MUST BE DEFEATED WITH THOSE SWORDS. It’s kind of funny when he pokes the cat. It’s not so funny when he smacks me in the eye while I’m trying to change his diaper. It also makes outdoor playdates quite a challenge.

EVIL TREE! I SHALL BANISH YE!

– OK, this is definitely the weirdest thing. I’m actually sort of hesitant to even post it in case 20 years from now he stumbles across this post while Googling “why do I have this strange fetish?” at the request of his therapist. Baby Evan is in love with my feet. I think he likes feet in general (starting with his own) but mine, well, mine he looooooves. Just wiggling my toes can make him laugh hysterically (insert correct link to the video I posted of the baby laughing at my feet here, if I could remember when the hell I took so I could find it again). Sometimes he kisses them. Sometimes he bites them, but I actually manages to teach him the meaning of “gentle” by shouting when he bit me too hard. He prefers it when I don’t wear shoes but will settle for gnawing on my sneakers if I refuse to take them off. I’m hoping he outgrows it. Soon.

Please tell me your kid is weird too.

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6 Responses to “Oddball”

  1. sarrible says:

    Colin used to like to sit on people when he was a baby. I think it’s because there were five enormous people in the house (to him) and his viewpoint was always of our knees, so whenever someone sat down he would climb on top of them. Now, of course, he’s the tallest in the family.

    OF COURSE Evan is swashbuckling. If his father was in the Army, he’s be pretending a stick was an RPG launcher. But he’s in the Navy. So your baby wants to be a pirate.

  2. Amy says:

    I LOVE the eyelash petting. That is SO CUTE!!!

    My daughter likes to hug people’s arms or hands and make high pitched squeals. It is very odd, but cute.

  3. Jill says:

    i think corbin is too little to be an oddball yet [although he has started making monster sounds] but i had a friend in elementary school and her little brother LOVED my feet. he was obsessed with them. and he turned out normal! :)

  4. I don’t know if this is odd or just gross but Calder will pick and eat his scabs if I don’t watch him closely enough.

  5. aww, baby evan! what a little sweetie. luv me a quirky baby. poppy’s obsessions are: my hoodie strings (twirls them in her fingers, bites them, rubs them on her face) flicking one foot on top of the other while drinking a bottle, and my teeth. she thinks teeth are hysterical – when david & i let her poke at our teeth she’s in heaven – cracks up until she gets the hiccups! silly little monkey.

    that picture of e lounging on your dog just kills me. they’re gonna be pals for life!

    x!

  6. andrea says:

    This post is hilarious. We are on the same boat with food. Bresho loves eating dirt and paper. Even old slices of cheese he finds on the floor. Actual food? It’s pretty much revolting to him. We should try mulch… I bet he would love it!

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