This video contains several things I’ve been trying to capture on camera for the last couple of weeks:

1. The palms-up “I dunno!” shrug, accompanied by the face. I think I’ve shrugged like that maybe twice in my life, but obviously one of those times was in front of Baby Evan.
2. That “Ey-ee?” noise he makes when he pulls his arm back to throw something. I was at playgroup two weeks ago and complained that Baby Evan LOVED to throw things but had a hard time distinguishing appropriate stuff from hard, pointy things. One of the moms said “Why don’t you get him to ask “Ready?” before he throws?” AND THEN HE DID. Because she mentioned it once within his earshot. It doesn’t really help though, since he just ask “Ey-ee?” before throwing the hard, pointy things. But at least you have fair warning. It is often followed by “Oh!” (throw!) but not always.
3. The “Ooooooo-ho-oo-oo-oo” that goes with the “Oh” face from the weekend’s post. He does it all the time and I always crack up.

(As usually, please ignore the mess and the dog and my husband’s gym shorts yadda yadda yadda. Whatevs, this is what my life looks like. I’m over it.)

(Also, free housekeeping tip of the day: Socks pick up a lot of dog hair and dirt and are easily washable.)

P.S. Want to make our relationship Facebook official? “Like” me – you can use the link in the left sidebar – to get even more Bebehblog! It makes me feel all warm and tingly.

Really I do. But this? IS RIDICULOUS.

Found in my mailbox. From my local Ocean State Job Lot flyer.

P.S. I am SO SORRY about the horrible blog loading time yesterday. My host swears it was totally random and not a real problem at all so it “shouldn’t happen again.” If you missed entering the giveaway because you didn’t have two hours to stare at a “loading…” page, PLEASE scroll down and do it today or some time in the next week!

I am declaring WAR. An all-out battled to the death from which no one emerged unscathed and the casualties will be severe. The target of the impending attack: MY FLOORS.

With a dog and two cats, pet hair has always been a problem, but the kind I could generally solve with a broom and the occasional damp paper towel. But add a baby to the mix and suddenly the pet hair dust bunnies grow into tumbleweeds of Cheerios and Goldfish crackers and bits of sandwich and half chewed fruit and sticks and leaves and the kind of foot-blackening dirt that sticks to the floor unless you scrub it with straight bleach and a toothbrush. If I don’t sweep, dry Swiffer, wet Swiffer, mop and vacuum EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. the baby gets so covered in dirt he looks like that kid from Charlie Brown who vibrates with grime. I can’t take him out in public after 3 pm out of fear someone will call CPS. And if CPS comes to my house I’m SCREWED.

I took up the rug this weekend (sidenote: what the HELL was I thinking when I picked out a shag rug for the family room? It’s basically a giant upside down yarn mop that traps every crumb and hair and is IMPOSSIBLE to clean) thinking it would be easier to do a quick mid-day sweep of just the hardwood floor but all it did was create a barren desert for the dirt tumbleweeds to tumble across. Plus my problem with sweeping wasn’t so much rug-related as 300-wooden-blocks-two-dozen-chuck-the-trucks-four-sippy-cups-and-a-partridge-in-a-pear-tree-scattered-acr0ss-my-floor-related.

The most permanent solution to my problem is to get rid of the pets, although I don’t think I can bring myself to actually do that. (A quick Google search for “how long do cats live” reveals no hopeful results.) I suppose the other thing I could do is restrict snacks and meals to the high chair but the idea of making Baby Evan sit still for the 7 or 8 hours a day he’s eating something is laughable. I think he would rather give up food than be strapped in a chair that often – and since I JUST got him to eat I’m not doing anything that might hurt his love of stuffing his face.

So I’m left with war. The kind of furniture moving deep cleaning usually only reserved for the holidays or right before my mother comes. (CRAP. My mother is coming TOMORROW.) I’ll buy stock in Swiffer and reacquaint myself with my Dustbuster. I will pick up toys three times a day instead of once. I will not rest until the baby can strip naked, dump a cup of juice on his head and roll across the room without a single speck of dirt sticking to his body.

Ok, maybe that’s a little too ambitious. But I’ve got to do something.

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They reset the list on Top Baby Blogs so all that begging I did last week was useless. If you could take a second to click on the link below – and then click in the middle of the screen where it says “Vote here!” – I’d really appreciate it. The click is your vote, you don’t have to find me on the list but I encourage you to check out the other blogs over there – TONS of awesome moms (and dads).

First, we remove the onesie.

Then we go for a little drive.

Time to break for a little snack.

Mmmmmm...watermelon.

Oh you mean moving the slide into the kitchen so I can reach the counter ISN'T a wise choice? LOOK I HAVE A BELLY BUTTON!

Nothing to see here. Go back to the couch mama.

Tickle fight with dada

And now it's time for a little chillaxin'

Today’s pictures brought to you by the letter F.

F is for “Fluffy butt”
“Fun”
“Freakin’ adorable”

and of course

“Father’s Day”

Happy Special Dad’s Day to my wonderful husband E! I hope our little terror knows how lucky he is to have you. I know I do.

Surprisingly, this month-day didn’t come up too fast. I’ve been saying Baby Evan was 14 months old for a couple weeks until I remembered May came after April and it wasn’t yet June and the number after 12 is 13. It’s understandable I’d have some trouble, seeing as how I’ve only know my months and numbers for the last 26 years or so. After the immense excitement of Baby Evan’s 1st birthday party and all the traveling we did in May I somehow expected the time to just fly by, when instead it dragged on, rich and full and slow like molasses. But now my baby is officially 14 months old and we can barrel on towards our next month-day.

14 Month Milestones (from BabyCenter)

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
• Eats with fingers – Yes! Food! He puts food in his mouth!!
• Empties containers of contents – Any container of anything ever.
• Imitates others – Seriously one of the most fun milestones, since now you have the power to make the baby do all sorts of funny things. We have a new game that involves smacking ourselves in the face. It’s a lot cuter than it sounds there.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
• Toddles well – Unstoppable.
• Initiates games – He initiates games with the dog all the time, especially “I’ll hold your tail while you try to run away and we’ll see how long it takes for me to fall down” and “sit still, you’re a chair!”
• Points to one body part when asked – NOSE!
• Responds to instructions (e.g., “give me a kiss”) – Oh he responds alright. Unfortunately, most of the time when I ask he throws himself backwards to avoid having to give kisses. Although he has no shortage for his father. He also knows “no” “don’t touch that” “stop” “not yours” “danger” and “hey cut it out!” I’m kind of exhausted.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
• Uses a spoon or fork – He could get a spoon in his mouth but not without getting most of the food on his face or shirt.
• Matches lids with appropriate containers – No. But then again, I care barely do that.
• Pushes and pulls toys while walking – Yes.

Enjoying his stash of things he's not allowed to touch.

Pretending to be Daddy.

Why are you bothering me? Can't you see I'm on a call right now?

One of the rare moments he's climbing it the correct way.

I do it all by myself!

Hi mama, whatcha doin? Whatcha doin' mama? Whatcha lookin' at?

Love my doggie. Dog dog dog dog dog.

Ooof, being 14 months old is exhausting. Time to lie down.