The umbilical cord is usually around 2 feet long, but can be anywhere from 5 inches to 4 feet.

There you go Mitch!

E finally had a day off today, and even though he slept until noon we managed to get some stuff done. I’ve realized that no matter how generous my friends and family are there is no way I am getting everything I need want for this baby at my shower, so I’ve started watching for sales and buying some of it myself. I got the breast pump I had registered for at Target on clearance – which is probably good, since it’s kind of a personal thing to buy for someone else, like underwear or tampons. The crib bedding for the nursery was 25% off at Babies R Us so we went ahead and bought some of it. We found a Closetmaid cubby system at Target that is going to take the place of a dresser and bookshelf, at least for now, and I hope to buy another one to put under the windows.

So the official update is, if Baby Evan was born right now, he would be clothed, diapered and not have to sleep in a drawer. I could cut his nails, take his temperature, feed him, and put lotion on his butt. He could swing or stare at his rattles and stuffed animals, or we could go for a ride in the car seat or stroller. I am slightly less panicked about the whole infant situation.

My birthing class last night was very uneventful and not at all like a sitcom. We watched lots of videos of women in labor and got the all important clip of the baby crowning. I am still happy that my doctors and hospital think “in bed on your back” is not the best way to handle labor, although when the instructor said “Next week we’ll talk about medication options, like an epidural” I couldn’t help myself from saying “Oh thank GOD”. Loudly.

No, I’m still having a boy. My best friend Erin is also pregnant but doesn’t know what her bebeh is yet. She wants to have a girl name picked out just in case. We both agree that girl names are much harder – they’re either way too common or way too weird. The world doesn’t need another Jennifer or Jessica. So if you’ve been sitting on the super-special-awesome-perfect girl name and wouldn’t mind sharing, you’d be doing her a big favor.

She likes girly names better than unisex or boyish ones, and old fashioned names better than Mackenzye or Nevaeh. My suggestions were Vivian and Corinne (my middle name, because of course she should name her baby after me). The name also has to be husband-approved, and he’s kind of difficult to please. No complaining Mitch, you know it’s true.

This lovely post on Jezebel today about learning to love music, especially music your father or mother listened to, depressed me. My parents were strict when it came to…well, everything, but especially music and tv shows. All we listened to as a family were children’s albums or the oldies station. I remember hiding in a coat room during 4th grade to avoid a “which New Kid is the cutest” conversation, because I had no idea who the New Kids were. Once I did get my own radio, it was far too late for me to learn anything about “good” music. I listened to Top 40 stations, even while my closest friends got stoned to Radiohead. I have an intense hatred of Dave Matthews based entirely on my high school lacrosse team. Throw in a few years of musical theater and I’m completely hopeless. I too embarrassed by my bad taste to put a “what I’m listening to” application on my Facebook, and I never participate in conversations about shows, since admitting the best concert I’ve ever gone to was the George Strait Chevy Truck Country Music Fest makes people look at me like I have three heads. Yeah, did I mention the country music? And not the cool rockabilly stuff, the Brad Paisley-Lonestar-Sara Evans stuff.

In case you were thinking maybe E would be able to help out, let me assure you he cannot. He knows more words to “Rent” than I do and insists the “I don’t want you back” song is genius.

So unless my baby wants to listen to the “Anything Goes” soundtrack or Britney Spears’ greatest hits, I’m afraid he’s on his own when it comes to music. I’m not sure how kids develop their musical tastes, since I was never allowed to. I guess I’ll have to encourage Tiny E to hang out with the babies at the playground in the Ramones onesies, or maybe get that cd of Metallica songs turned into lullabies.  To prevent any irreversible harm, I plan to stick with the children’s tapes from my own childhood as long as I can, but as much as I love Raffi I don’t want this to happen to me.

One of the things I hate about the internet is that even when you’re trying to do something harmless, like buy a dresser on Craigslist, you can’t avoid the crazies. My local kids & baby section is full of these posts claiming that after February 10th, no one is allowed to resell baby items that haven’t been tested for lead. My BS flag immediately went up for several reasons – not the least of which being even if that is a law, who the hell’s going to enforce it? So I Googled a few words from the post and came up with several more sites full of outraged mothers screaming about how their friend who makes recycled organic cloth diapers is being put out of business due to the Big Bad Government’s regulations. After three pages of OMG!!!!!!!!!’s I found an actual link clarifying the proposed regulation: Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act.

From what I can tell, since I am not a lawyer and the actual text of the law is too complicated for me to understand, this law is meant to prevent lead and other contaminates in children’s products (how is that a bad thing?) and not keep anyone from buying a used Exersaucer on Ebay. The only effect it could have on a reseller is that they might have to check the Consumer Product Safety website for recalls before they post something for sale. Knowingly selling an item that contains contaminates would be illegal. And it also only applies to items that might contain lead, like cribs and toys and painted stuff – not those hemp diapers your friend sales at the Church tag sale. So chill out.

If anyone with a better understanding of the law wants to school me, feel free. I’m just hoping someone trying to Google this stuff comes across my link before one of the other sites sends them into a conniption fit.