Posts Tagged ‘sleep’

If there’s ever a Whining Olympics, I’ll bring home the gold

Monday, October 4th, 2010

I’ve been spending a lot of time lately writing two paragraph blog posts in my head and then promptly forgetting them. It’s mostly due to the fact that I’m doing all my brainstorming in the middle of the night when I a) can’t fall asleep to begin with or b) can’t fall BACK asleep after waking up for no apparent reason. This pregnancy is doing weird weird things to my internal clock and thermometer and electrical system and pretty much any other part of me that could be compared to something mechanical. When the weather changed suddenly last week and the barometric pressure went way down (or up or lopsided or whatever it is that happens when it goes from mild and humid to clear and cool) I woke up twitching from head to toe feeling like my skin was trying to crawl off my body. It was rather unpleasant. And not at all conducive to sleeping. So I stay up too late and toss and turn all night and then totally crash during Baby Evan’s nap time which means I stay up even later the next night and get even less sleep and am more exhausted so the vicious cycle continues forever and ever amen.

I felt the same way last pregnancy, only then I wasn’t chasing a toddler around all day so napping wasn’t really a problem so much as a glorious, wonderful way of life. I’m hoping if I can make it through the rest of this week sans nap and with a 10 pm bedtime my body will readjust and I can start stocking up on zzzzz’s while I still can – that number on my pregnancy ticker ain’t getting any bigger and it has DEFINITELY not been long enough since I had an infant around that I’ve forgotten what that’s like. Ugh.

My exhaustion is making every other little tiny annoyance in my life seem like a Huge Deal this week, which is just making it harder for me to relax. Huge Deal #1 is that I’m still laptopless after almost a month because we’re still deciding if we can afford to buy E a new computer or if I should just buy ANOTHER power cord for my clearly defective yet much beloved HP. So we’re “sharing” one laptop, and by “sharing” I mean I’m currently up writing blog posts at 1:20 am because it’s pretty much the only time of day E isn’t involved in some vitally important online game that he tries to guilt trip me into not nagging him about by claiming he’s “spending time” with his brother and his dad. To which I say: THAT’S WHAT PHONES ARE FOR. Because, obviously, I NEED to get online to comment on all my internet friends’ blogs and whine about things on my own. Priorities, people.

Huge Deal #2 is more bullshit with one of our worst purchases ever – E’s Jeep Grand Cherokee. Go ahead, Google “problem with my 2004 Jeep” and come back in 12 hours when you finish reading eight bazillionty forum posts about stupid problems like windshield wipers that don’t work and cruise control that fails every time it rains and the ridiculous trash they call the “heating system” but I’m pretty sure is just a hamster on a wheel working a little fan that costs $1000 every time we have to have it replaced. Which has been twice. So far. But most ridiculous of all is the windows that simply FALL INTO THE DOOR at random times and then can’t be fixed without taken the entire panel apart. It’s because some genius made the little piece that holds up the electric window out of cheap ass plastic. So the piece itself costs like $7 but the work costs $500 plus two days of being a single car family in an area that does not lend itself to single-car-ness. Did I mention this is at LEAST the second time we’ve had the window fall? I’m pretty sure it’s happened to both the driver’s and passenger’s windows once before but E thinks this is the first time on the driver’s side. He’s been driving the Jeep around with the window down for weeks now rather than getting it fixed (I think we were both secretly hoping it would just sort of…self-heal or something).  I could complain about this for another fifty years (I hate our dealership! Taking my car to work is a HUGE pain for E because of security! Being housebound with a toddler in the rain is the 8th circle of hell!) but let’s just sum up by saying the weather report for the rest of the week is so grim we’re going to bite the bullet and take the Jeep in for repairs today so I’ll be Mr. Grumpy Pants for the next few days. 8th circle of hell here I come.

Huge Deal #3 is..oh nevermind. Whatever. Let’s just say I’m annoyed at myself and annoyed at the world and annoyed at my husband and pretty much nothing is going to change that right now besides a good night’s sleep and a day without being smacked in the face by my child. And maybe a few hours of peace to get the house clean so I can stop feeling like I’m YEARS behind on my to-do list. I’d settle for weeks. The best case scenario is days. I’m exhausted already just thinking about it.

Second Time’s A Charm

Sunday, September 12th, 2010

(Disclaimer 1: Yesterday and last night Baby Evan was a fussy mess. His 3 hour nap was broken up by several crying fits, stayed sad and grumpy most of the afternoon and got up twice last night, a record I would have thought was awesome just a few months ago but now sends me into a spiraling mess of exhaustion and hopelessness, as in “OH GOD I REMEMBER THIS NOT SLEEPING THING AND I CAN. NOT. DO. IT.” )

(Disclaimer 2: I don’t actually have a second child yet, so take everything with a grain of salt. Or maybe a ginormous, huge, Utah salt flats sized block.)

I’ve decided that having a second baby is infinitely easier than having a first baby.

When you’re pregnant the first time, most of your friends are childless. Childless people flock together like beautiful, exotic birds to go out on Saturday night and do fun things like drink alcohol in bars and rub up against each other and plan spur-of-the-moment trips to Thailand or Paris or Antarctica or Mars or whatever fancy location is hip this week. There is no place for babies in that world – it’s too hard to find shoes to match every color of poop. Even if you have a sister or a cousin or a best friend who had babies first, they probably aren’t a part of your daily social circle. You get all your advice from books or message boards or magazines and end up setting incredibly unrealistically high standards for every part of your life as a mom. You struggle through the first few months of babydom alone, or at least feeling alone, until you finally venture out of the house blinking and squinting at the lights like that poor groundhog in Pennsylvania, hoping the long winter is over.

The second time around, your childless friends have flocked away and you hang out with other parents. Parents understand babies. You meet at the library or at a playground or through daycare or a mom’s group or a local baby store. You plan mid-week playdates when all your old friends are at work and only visit coffee shops that have drive thru windows and take trips to the zoo instead of weekends at the spa. You plan to go to France and Antarctica and Mars together…someday. Right now you’re too busy trading baby sitter stats and tips for hiding vegetables in your brownies.

And Thank God for all of that. Mom friends have no problem listening to endless complaints about morning sickness and exhaustion and diaper explosions. They have real world advice on how to deal with teething and spit up and problems latching and first solids. They have maternity clothes in various sizes and seasons that they will lend/give you. Their garages and attics are full of boxes of baby clothes they are dying to get rid of, especially if you are having a baby the opposite gender from the first one. (You will, of course, still buy a few things yourself but you don’t actually have to.) They will watch your kid at the playground while you run off to find a bathroom because you need to pee. AGAIN.

If you’re super lucky, you’re mom’s group will have an organized Mama Meals program and by the time you actually get around to having the second baby your freezer will be stocked with enough frozen lasagnas and casseroles and homemade baked goods to feed an army of hungry husbands and toddlers.

You know that, realistically, you probably won’t need that crib for at least a few months so having a nursery done before 32 weeks gestation is overkill. You already have the baby gear you ACTUALLY couldn’t live without, rather than the things on the Must Have Baby Items Registry List Sponsored By Babies R Us, Enfamil And Your Own Psychotic Need To Plan Ahead.

You know that there IS such a thing as too many newborn size diapers.

And when the second baby actually comes and you’ve got spit up in your hair and haven’t slept in a week and would kill for a pizza instead of a frozen casserole, you will have friends who understand, bring you a frappuccino, and maybe even watch that pesky first kid for an hour or two.

I an 25 weeks today and I haven’t so much as opened my copy of What To Expect this time around. It is glorious.

I heart…naps

Tuesday, July 27th, 2010

We’ve been having some all out screaming fits trouble with Baby Evan recently, probably due to demon possession teething. (Side note: When does teething END? He’s got 12 teeth with his incisors canines coming through right now.)

Once he stops being distracted by something specific or if I try to interrupt something he’s enjoying – throwing rocks at smaller children, hurling himself down concrete steps, biting the dog – he starts WAILING and goes all boneless and thrashes and flings his head backwards and throws a 100% genuine old-fashioned American temper tantrum.

Let me tell you how fun it is.

The teething is also making our usually peaceful nap and bedtimes into a process that involves every teething remedy in our arsenal combined with endless rocking and basically letting Baby Evan cry it out while in our arms. Several times in the past few days it has also involved letting the baby sleep directly on me for several hours (despite the RECORD HEAT and weird rash I now have from sweaty baby head on my chest) in the hopes that at least ONE of us can get some rest. Like yesterday:

Awwwwwww. Ok, so sleeping baby is not so bad. I think this is officially one of my favorite pictures ever. Cuddly naps on the couch make all the screaming so much more tolerable.

p.s. For the record, my boobs look huge like that because a) I am wearing an UNDERWIRE, NON-NURSING BRA for the first time in more than 18 months and b) despite not nursing for the past four days apparently my body is still trying to feed at least one, maybe two children and refuses to completely stop making milk. I’m about 24 hours away from pumping out of fear of a plugged duct.

p.p.s. I just occurred to me part of his sudden cuddliness is due to the weaning. Before when he needed some attention he just asked for milk and I didn’t really notice how much time we spent sitting together. Duh.

I need a brick for his head. That totally works right?

Sunday, July 11th, 2010

Yesterday morning when he woke up, Baby Evan lay in his crib and announced he was awake rather than cry or scream.

He ate a bagel and grapes for breakfast, an entire grilled cheese sandwich for lunch and ravioli off a plate WITH A FORK for dinner.

He brought us books and sat quietly while we read them. Over and over and over and over.

We played the “name that body part game” and he did nose, ear, head, belly and bellybutton on both himself and on me.

He gave lots of kisses both on demand and on his own.

He appears to have grown some more hair, especially on top.

At bedtime, he had a bath and jammies and a book and then E said “night night”, put him in the crib awake and standing up. Baby Evan lay down, hugged his blankie and went to sleep. Not a single protest.

WHO IS THIS TINY HUMAN BEING PERSON AND WHERE DID MY BABY LUMP GO????

p.s. I also felt Sandy moving for the first time yesterday. OMG THEY’RE GROWING SO FAST.

It never fails…

Thursday, July 8th, 2010

– 30 seconds after I get the cranky, screaming, angry baby to take a nap and FINALLY sit down my husband walks in the door and looks disapprovingly at the mess.

– If we are ten minutes early leaving the house the baby will poop as I’m putting him in the car seat.

– The nights I am absolutely starving are the nights I have nothing planned for dinner.

– If I cut up gallons of fruit/vegetables/wise and healthy options for Baby Evan he refuses to eat anything but Goldfish.

– If I DON’T cut up gallons of fruit/vegetables/wise and healthy options for Baby Evan he screams and throws his Goldfish on the floor because he hates them.

– Baby nap time is always over before mommy nap time can start.

– My house is always in the worst state of disaster when someone stops by unexpectedly.

– Five minutes after someone tells me I look fantastic and barely pregnant at all someone else will tell me “Oh my God you’re huge! Look at that bump!!!”

– The sharpest, pointiest toy is the one that gets left on the floor of the dark hallway to be stepped on.

– The baby will do a great job scribbling with a crayon until I stop looking. Then he eats it.

– The 2% of the floor that is wet/sticky is the part I will step in.

– As soon as I tell someone my pregnancy so far has been totally uneventful and mostly symptom free I’m hit with a wave of morning sickness.

– The days I think I look really cute are the days I’m walking around with half my bra showing or my shorts on inside out, both of which I have done this week.

– I will run out of both deodorant and toothpaste on the sweatiest, grossest day of the year.

– The laundry will all be dirty again before I even get it folded and put away.

– Whatever my husband is doing right at the moment I need his help with something else is the ABSOLUTE MOST ANNOYING THING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.