Here are some ways in which I am extremely uncool:

– I really like the song “Boyfriend” by Justin Bieber. I told people on Twitter I thought it was a Justin Timberlake song and most of them agreed which means I’m not crazy, just lame. Oddly, fifteen years ago I would have been EVEN MORE embarrassed to admit I liked Justin Timberlake than I am to admit I like this song now. I think I am just a lot harder to shame now that I’m a mom and have to do stuff like collect poop samples from my kid.

– I’ve been collecting poop samples from my kid. I have no idea where I should keep them until I turn them in to the doctor.

– I bought the One Direction album on iTunes and listened to it yesterday at the dentist. I lied to the him when he asked what I was listening to and said “NPR”. I sing along – LOUDLY – to that “What makes you beautiful” song anytime it comes on in the car.

– I like Smash even more than I like Glee. I don’t care one tiny bit how improbable and ridiculous any of it is – although I am really, really, enjoying my friend Sara’s snarky recaps on Television Without Pity.

– I am half way through the 3rd book in the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy. I would NOT like to talk about them.

– I have already started planning my outfits for BlogHer in NYC in August. I will try really really hard NOT to mention anything about it again until at least July. Except that I am rooming with these swell gals and I’m super excited.

– Because I am a terrible, neglectful mother Evan hasn’t been to the dentist yet. My office doesn’t see kids until 3 so I was waiting, but they’re a “family” dentist not a pediatric dentist and I’m not sure they’re prepared for what I am sure is going to be a very very angry toddler. Our insurance switched providers on May 1st and I checked with the local pediatric office and they accept it so I scheduled back to back appointments this morning. I cried after I made them because I am SO worried about how it will go/if they have cavities. I am probably crying at the appointments right now.

– This afternoon I am getting laser hair removal. I bought my treatments with a Groupon.

Ok, your turn. I’m going to need a laugh after both kinds of appointments today.

Yesterday, E took a much needed vacation day so I could wrangle the dog to the vet without wrangling two kids as well. And then I took the bigger child with me anyways because he asked really nicely. It actually worked out great. Brutus had to get a couple of shots, some blood drawn, and a dental exam, which are all things Evan is going to have to get in the next couple of weeks and it was nice to be able to say “Look how brave Brutus is! Just a little poke! Now you can give him a hug and he feels so much better!” I’d like to say I’m brilliant and that was the plan all along, but really I just thought it would be fun to hang out with my kid for a while. Three is a pretty great age (insert a zillion instances where 3 year olds are AWFUL right here), and getting to take just ONE kid with me is such a special treat.

When we got home, I suggested we not sit on the couch all day and remarkably everyone agreed. So we loaded up the stroller and uh, strolled down to the town library. When we bought this house I was SO EXCITED to live “walking distance” from “downtown” – and honestly, before kids I did do a lot of walking. I could walk to the YMCA, the post office, the library, 2 bars, and 3 restaurants. Of course “walking distance” is a relative term because the sidewalks are terrible (old, broken, uneven, slate that has shifted, blocked by cars), the neighborhood between my house and the stuff is kind of scary, and it is all down a BIG hill…which means it’s all up hill on the way home.

ANYWAYS, what I’m saying is we don’t walk much anymore but it’s something I’d really like to start doing again. Too bad our YMCA went out of business (did you even know that could happen?) and the post office is completely inaccessible to strollers (which I’m pretty sure is illegal, since it’s also handicap inaccessible?) and day drinking when you’re caring for 2 small kids is frowned upon (I know, right?!) so the library and food are pretty much our only choices. So that’s what we did! Books and Irish pub food for everyone! And like a good mommy blogger, I brought my camera along to take pictures of our Fun! Family! Outing! And because I’m actually NOT a very good mommy blogger all the pictures are kind of terrible. Still not going to stop me from posting them.

Our favorite place in town - and I'm not just saying that because it's the ONLY place in town. There are at least 3 other places.

I should have taken a video, because this is both Evans jamming out to the Dropkick Murphys

Caroline was also a Dropkick Murphy's fan. The waitress looked at the kids and said "They must be Irish".

Here, I’ll do you a favor and link the song. You’re welcome. “DROPKICK MURPHYS 4 EVA!!1!!111!!!!” – 1oth grade me.

Town Hall is pretty

Flowers and rocks. And E pushing the stroller up the giant hill.

Me, pushing the stroller the rest of the way up the big hill. And yeah, Caroline needs to SIT DOWN. She is a buckle escape artist.

I’ve seen this meme floating around the interwebs for almost as long as I’ve been reading blogs, but this week I’m going to hop on the bandwagon and join Audrey‘s hop. I’m doing it for several reasons including a) the kids are being really good and no one wants to read a bazillion posts about angelic, adorable, well-behaved children b) I’ve rededicated myself to CLEANING ALL THE THINGS on a regular basis so I have less time to write my usual deep, meaningful posts (bahahaha) and c) I like reading what people ACTUALLY keep in the handbags as opposed to posts with titles like “15 Things A Good Mother Is Never Without In Case Of Bear Attacks” or “The 7 Things In Your Diaper Bag That Might Kill You”. I could totally picture both of those headlines on Babble, amiright? But today, you just get “Junk That Suzanne Hauls Around For No Reason”.

This is the bag I’ve been carrying for a few months now. It’s a Gussy, which I fully admit I bought because I wanted to check that box off in Mommy Blogger Bingo (other boxes: headband/DSLR/Epiphanie camera bag/Lisa Leonard jewelry/rosettes/Toms shoes) but it’s actually a REALLY great bag. It holds a ton of stuff (see below), it stays on my shoulder, I can fit my camera in it, and things rarely fall out – which was a HUGE problem with my last bag. Oh God, I re-read that post and my palms are all sweaty just remembering my panic.

And here’s what’s inside the bag:

I sorted it into categories! In a vague columns left-to-right manner I present to you…

Clothing/accessories:
Caroline’s fox hat
Evan’s dinosaur hat
My glasses
Backup sunglasses (my real ones were on my head when I took this pic)
Two and a half pairs of soft-soled baby shoes
Caroline’s sun hat
Caroline’s socks
Baby Legs
Flower headband
Workout headband for me
Two pairs toddler underpants
Extra pants for Caroline
Evan’s striped sweatshirt he took off during gymnastics

Essentials:
Pen
Wallet
Change
iPhone
Keys

Random:
Sunscreen
Amber teething necklace
Yarn cutter
Gum
Lens cap for my 50mm
Lip gloss/sunscreen
Gussy business cards (for when people ask about the bag)
Reusable coffee cup coozie from Emily

Baby Essentials:
Diaper clutch from Erika
Wipes case

Toys:
Boat
Helicopter from the train table
Truck
Ladybug we stole from someone
Vibrating grape teether (both kids LOVE this when their gums hurt)

Trash:
I’m surprised there wasn’t more.

Food:
Reusable snack bag of Wheat Thins
Snack trap with carrots
Mini-bagel
String cheese
Four granola bars
Emergency bribery Hershey’s kisses
(The kids had just taken their sippy cups out, or those would be in there too)

And THAT is just what I packed for the 12 minutes round-trip drive to a 45 minute gymnastics class. You should see the bag on Stroller Strides days or trips to the Seaport. It’s amazing I’m not permanently lopsided (although there’s still plenty of time for that to happen).

You totally think I’m a crazy person now, don’t you? OK, what’s in YOUR bag?

p.s. I had to put the kit lens on my camera to take that picture of all the stuff AND I stood on the counter and held the camera up as high as I could. If I wasn’t a total moron I would have taken my shoes off, but ALAS.

Look, it’s one of those ridiculous MySpace surveys I secretly loved reborn as a blog meme! My friend Mandy did it a few days ago and I wanted to play along – and THEN my friend Kristi from The Fischer Family tagged me, so I HAD to do it. Win-win!

Post a picture of yourself, tell us 11 things we might not know about you, then write 11 new questions and tag some friends to play along (let them know you tagged them!)

Eleven things about me:

– I’ve been a military dependent my entire life, first because my dad was in (and then retired from) the Coast Guard and then because I married a Navy guy. I can’t imagine a life separate from the military.

– I can play both parts of “Heart and Soul” on the piano at the same time.

– In high school I was seriously into drama and chorus, but haven’t done any acting/singing AT ALL since I graduated. I wish there was an easier way to do that stuff as an adult.

– I played with Barbie dolls until I was 14.

– I have probably never heard of your favorite band because I was too busy listening to my Britney Spears CDs.

– My favorite joke in the whole world: Two pretzels were walking down the street; one was a salted.

– At various points when I was young I was a semi-serious ballerina, gymnast, ice skater and piano player. I always quit right at the point I would need private lessons and/or to practice several hours a day. I wish I had stuck with ONE of them.

– My (not so) secret dream is to run a party planning business.

– From the time I was seven until my freshman semester of college I planned to be a marine biologist. Turns out I love the ocean but hate studying science, so now I just enjoy our aquarium membership.

– An aunt sent me the first Harry Potter book before Harry Potter was A Thing. I read it at the pool hidden behind a Cosmo magazine because I was sooooooo embarrassed to be seen with a kid’s book. She told me it was going to be popular but I didn’t believe her.

– I have a lot of trouble making eye contact with people and use lots of dramatic gestures, facial expressions and hand waving to distract from it.

Here are the questions from Kristi:

1. Is it soda or pop? And what is your favorite? Soda! Diet Coke, although I’m trying to kick the habit.
2. What is your go to outfit when you need one? A dress. I LOVE to wear dresses, especially in the summer. I’m looking forward to the end of breastfeeding so I can wear most of my dresses again.
3. Tell me what you are reading and why? I’m reading a whole pile of parenting books to help me learn to parent my toddler better, and before I fall asleep at night I’ve been reading all the Janet Evanovich Stephanie Plum novels. They’re good fluff.
4. Name a reality TV show you would like to go on? Top Chef! Except I’m not nearly good enough besides in my dreams.
5. Tell me the best blog you read that you think I should start reading. I seriously love Heather at The Extraordinary Ordinary.  She’s an amazing writer and story teller and encourages everyone to speak from their heart.
6. If you had to move out of your current state where would you go? South Carolina. I loved living there. Although if we’re talking dream-place-to-live I’ll take Paris.
7. Tell me one rule you had growing up that you will never impose on your own kids. The three bites rule – I want my kids to try new food but we had SO many battles over stuff I knew I hated. I’m hoping to
8. What is one thing you could not live without? (It can’t be a person) An internet connection. Not only because of my online friends but because I use it to stay in touch with my real friends too!
9. What’s the first thing you do in the morning? Wish I was still asleep? Ha! Most mornings the first thing I do is hand my phone to the toddler so he can sit in the chair and play Angry Birds while I think about getting out of bed.
10. What would your final meal consist of? Really good pad thai, a cheeseburger, guacamole, red wine, and key lime pie. I would die extremely full.
11. If you had to pick a song as the “soundtrack of your life what would it be?” It’s not exactly the story of my life but “Ain’t Nothin’ ‘Bout You” by Brooks and Dunn is my all time favorite song. My best friend and I got rose tattoos because of it.

Now here are the 11 questions I came up with:

1. What is your favorite color and has it changed over the years?

2. How well do you remember your first kiss? Details, please.

3. Where is your favorite vacation spot?

4. How many siblings do you have and are they older or younger?

5. What are the baby names you used to LOVE but haven’t/wouldn’t ever use?

6. What was your first car?

7. How do you feel about trivia games?

8. What is the worst job you’ve ever had?

9. What movie do you watch every time it’s on TV (even though you probably own it)?

10. Do you collect anything?

11. What color is your house and would you change it if you could?

Now I’m going to tag…

Amy from BabyBabyLemon

Audrey from Planet Hausfrau

Laura from The Diniwilks

Alena from Charmingly Chandler

Amanda from Funny Days from A to Z

Brigid from Now Showing!

TMae from Life V 2.0

And anyone else who wants to play! If you think this is lame, go ahead and skip it, I won’t be insulted.

Yesterday, while caring for both children, I…

Got the car emissions test done
Renewed my driver’s license
Mailed a package at the post office
Took Caroline to the lab at the hospital for her lead test
Went to BJ’s
Got copies of Caroline’s birth certificate from town hall
Filled up the car at the gas station
Did ALL the dishes and cleaned the kitchen
Did ALL the laundry, including the sheets
Put away ALL the laundry
Made dinner
Made dessert
Remembered to wash my face
Did not completely lose my mind

Today, I am…

Taking a nap

The End

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I am torn on whether or not doing ALL THE THINGS on one day is a good system, and I think we should discuss it.

Pros: Our usual Stroller Strides/playtime schedule  means I only have time for one or two errands BEFORE nap time and the kids are always a mess if I try to take them out AFTER nap time, so taking a day out of the week to get everything done seems like a good idea. Plus if I’m going to haul the kids in and out of the car a few times I might as well do it a LOT of times. I love crossing so much stuff list in quick succession – Check! Check! Check!! Once I get on a roll, I stay on a roll for a long time and my roll spirals into a super clean and organized house/life without lots of hemming and hawing and eye rolling about how much I don’t want to be doing it. And it’s true that once the house is clean it’s easier to keep it that way – I am less likely to throw dishes in the sink instead of putting them directly in the dishwasher if the sink is totally empty. Mostly, I am no longer totally overwhelmed by all the things I know I need to take care of but dread doing.

Cons: I usually only get to the point were I NEED to do all the things after weeks and weeks of avoiding and putting off and honestly should have done most of it a long time ago. It is really, really exhausting to drag the kids to so many places in one day and they really, really don’t like being dragged. When I am PLANNING to do all the stuff at once I don’t bother even TRYING to keep up with it on a regular basis so my laziness spirals out of control. On the days when I am doing all the things I end up ignoring the kids – obviously it is hard to ignore them in public, but at home they watch too much TV and eat snacks off the floor while I try to organize just ONE MORE junk drawer. No matter how much I DO get done, there are still MORE things on my list so I’m still a little overwhelmed.

Wow, that was also exhausting. I think I need another nap. Or maybe I need to suck it up and stop thinking so much about what I have to do and just do it.