This is the last month my baby will be my baby. I’ve been letting myself say she’s “one” for the past couple weeks instead of “almost 2”, even though it feels sort of ridiculous. She’s been shedding her babyhood faster than I can gather it up in my memory for more than a year now. Recently she’s moved farther away from charming, silly and good-natured and more towards willful, stubborn and independent.  She’s mostly capable of doing things on her own but has very strong opinions about WHEN and WHERE she wants to do them. It’s like a tiny window into what it will be like to have a 16 year old. It doesn’t help that she’s been having physical and emotional growing pains that frustrate both of us immensely and leave me wrung out by bedtime.

And then, on Saturday night, right as I was leaving her room after an hour of stories and rocking and singing and cajoling and begging her to please, please, please just lie in your bed and sleep already she said “Rock Mommy, rock”. I held her in my lap and we rocked. I felt her go limp and still then twitchy and dreaming and tried to remember the last time we rocked to sleep. I couldn’t. I know the last time  she couldn’t have asked so clearly. I know the last time her feet didn’t hang off the chair and I couldn’t rest my chin on her head. And then I lifted her full sleeping body weight to put her into bed and all of her babyness dropped away. She is long and heavy and definitely a child, even if I’m not completely ready for her to be one.

Two seems like it’s going to be a challenge. Along with learning to say adorable things like “Oh coconuts!” and “Don’t whorry, Mommy!” she loves to yell “I DO IT!” and “EAT! EAT! EAT! NOW!” and “Jammies on, NO BATH!” For every spontaneous please and thank you there’s a screaming fit over wearing shoes or pants. I keep telling myself it’s just a phase – it’s ALWAYS just a phase – but right now I’m just hoping we both survive it with no permanent damage.

It the face of her epic tantrums, it’s a good thing she’s really, really cute. She loves to narrate what we’re doing, so at Target she sounds like this: “Target! I love you Target! Cart. No that cart. Big cart! I DO IT. I push. Caroline walking. See! C’mon Mommy! Coffee, Mommy? Coffee? Icee? Hi! Hi baby! Hi! No, my cart! Buy it Mommy? I have it. HAVE IT NOW. Yahhhhh Target! Bye bye bye bye Target! Bye!” times one thousand times a day. She picks out her own clothes and if that means she wears a short summer PJ’s over footie PJ’s then that’s OK with me, although it’s cold enough now that I keep getting Looks when we go into a store and she isn’t wearing shoes. She eats more than anyone else in the house but is still a peanut. She’s really into coloring and painting now, although the mess she makes is incredible. But that’s the part she likes the best so clever toddler-friendly alternatives like Color Wonder markers don’t fool her one bit. She wants me to read to her 12 hours a day, although she also likes to “read” her own books. Yesterday she tried to play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star on the piano, although I only know that’s what she was playing because she was also singing at the top of her lungs. I wish she would let me put a barrette in her hair to keep her bangs out of her eyes but there is no way I am cutting a single hair on her head.

Likes include her blankies (she calls them both “Bee”), her pillow, books, blocks, music boxes, CHRISTMAS STUFF, art, making a mess, Sesame Street, music, dancing, gymnastics, putting on clothes, taking off clothes, running, cuddles, iPads, iPhones, Daddy, the dog, the cat, singing, climbing stairs, her brother, doing things herself, bossing me around, Mickey Mouse, apples, eggs, eating and giving kisses.

Dislikes helping me run errands, being left behind, not getting her way, wearing shoes, and bedtime.

Milestones below the adorable photos, as usual.

23 Month Milestones (from BabyCenter, as usual)

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
Names simple picture in a book – She can name almost anything in a book and insists on doing it every time we read anything.
Uses 50 to 70 words – More like 500 to 700 words and that is only a tiny exaggeration. She knows ALL THE WORDS.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
Opens doors – She can, but she’s mostly too short for the ones in our house. THANK GOD.
Sings simple tunes – Yesterday she tried to play Twinkle Twinkle on the piano while singing. It was a nice effort but she is clearly not a musical prodigy.
Takes more of an interest in playing with other kids – Was she supposed to be uninterested in other kids? She’s a second child, the poor girl has no idea how to entertain herself.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
Talks about self (likes, dislikes) – Mostly dislikes. “NO WANT IT BERRIES! WANT MOMMY’S FOOD.” “Nooooo bathtime! Nooooo NOT filthy!” but she will tell you her favorite color is green and she likes her blankie.
Asks “why?” – No, but she asks “HUH?” and taps her finger on her chin and says “Ummmmmm” while she’s thinking.

Let’s not even talk about how late this post is, since my reasons for being late are mostly valid. And by mostly valid I mean first we were busy traveling to Caroline’s BFF’s house on Long Island and then Caroline turned into a horrible screaming monster. We have apparently entered the Terrible Twos a few weeks early and it is taking every ounce of patience I have in my body not to turn into a screaming monster in return. Sometimes even every single ounce I have isn’t enough and I have to fortify my patience with wine and chocolate and Diet Coke. I’m getting lock-jaw from all the teeth clenching and bald patches from ripping my hair out in frustration and I could pack her entire fall wardrobe in the circles under my eyes from the stress of handling her in public.

But then she goes and does something hilarious and when I laugh she says “Caroline funny! Funny Mommy!” and does anything she can to make me laugh again. She loves being the center of attention and has no problem making friends, even with kids older than she is. Her broken collar-bone hasn’t slowed her down or made her more cautious at all – which is good, I guess, I don’t want it to hurt her. But DEAR LORD she is hard to keep out of danger.

With just two month months before she turns two, I’m trying to decide if sending her to school in January is the right choice. Right now she really WANTS to go to school. She cries when we drop Evan off and God forbid we actually have to go INTO the school for anything, since she’ll try to angry-badger her way out of my arms and run into the 2-year-old class. But in some ways she’ll still just a baby who needs a cuddle if she falls down and doesn’t understand why some kids aren’t always nice. She’s smart enough to count to three but not mature enough to negotiate a complicated sharing situation. She gets along great with her brother…except when she doesn’t. Am I trying to push her into school more for selfish, two-child-free-mornings-a-week!!!! reasons or would she do amazingly well in a school environment?

Besides counting to three (which she hilariously does anytime I threaten her with it – “Me: Caroline, get off the dog now or you’ll go to time out! One…” Caroline: “TWO!!! THREE!!!”), she’s started naming colors and shapes, reciting books we read often, and helping with Evan’s alphabet puzzle. She will repeat and remember any word you say in her presence and can (almost) tell knock knock jokes. I hope some day she becomes an actress – even if it’s only in the middle school production of Annie – since she has the most expressive face I’ve ever seen.

Favorite things include dancing, singing, reading, Mickey Mouse, Elmo, running, jumping, gymnastics, juice, cheese, iGadgets of any kind, trains, elephants, hayrides, boats, baths, The Fresh Beat Band, being naked, princess skirts, sparkly shoes, coloring, throwing things, shopping (a.k.a. throwing things into my cart that I don’t want), books, pirates, slides, cereal, eggs, and petting zoos.

Least favorite things include not getting her way, not getting her way and not getting her way.

p.s. I made the skirt and am SO IMPRESSED with myself.

21 Month Milestones (from BabyCenter, as usual)

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
Kicks ball forward – Yes, although she could work on her aim.
Follows two-step requests (e.g., “Get your doll and bring it here”) – When she feels like it she can follow a 10-step request, but mostly she’d rather run away and drive me insane.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
Does simple puzzles – Loves to do the big dinosaur puzzle, but loves smashing it up even more.
Draws a straight line – Only if she’s coloring on something she’s not supposed to be coloring on. Like the tv or the dog.
Names several body parts – I think she knows pretty much all the body parts. Or at least the common ones – I doubt she could find her uvula.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
Puts on loose-fitting clothes – Puts on and takes off clothes at will. Usually in public.
Might be ready for a big bed – Been in a big girl bed for months, although still chooses the crib at night most of the time.
Understands opposites (e.g., tall vs. short) – I know she knows UP/DOWN, since she enjoys screaming it at me when she wants to jump.

My poor baby. She didn’t even make it to her second year without breaking something, although the good news is it doesn’t seem to be slowing her down. I had to pin her to my chest with both arms during gymnastics on Wednesday because all she wanted to do was jump off of everything, hang off of everything and throw herself into the big pit of foam blocks. She is 99% affected already and it hasn’t even been a week. There’s a rather large bump on her collar bone that I am hoping disappears on its own, otherwise she’ll never be a collar bone model and obviously that would be tragic.

Things are on hold a little bit while she heals, but we’re keeping busy with quiet play dates – although the aforementioned insistence on jumping/climbing/running is making them a little less quiet. So far at least we’ve managed to avoid playgrounds. Caroline doesn’t seem to mind, especially since one of our play dates brought purple sparkle play dough and she is OBSESSED. (Well, technically she bought white, pink and blue sparkle play dough, but it is currently one big lovely lump of lavender.)

Let’s talk about how the accident clearly hasn’t affected her smarts. Caroline has the very best memory of any baby I have ever seen. She regularly (as in, every 5 minutes) asks about her friends James and Owen who we went to Sesame Place with a month ago. She can identify all of her grandparents by their photos even though we don’t see them very often. On Sunday I told her we could go to the zoo on Monday and she said “Aoudads?????” What kind of one year old remembers aoudads instead of giraffes or elephants? Although to be fair she remembers those too. I kept her awake for the entire hour car ride home from the zoo naming animals we had seen.

She is still small – most of her 18 month stuff is still big and she’s swimming in 2T. It means she has more clothes than any child could ever possible need (and today I found a full box of 18 month stuff in the attic I have literally no memory of receiving and/or putting up there). Bless all of you lovely people who sent us hand-me-downs. You won’t even believe the cuteness of the little red swing coat Harper sent us and it’s only made EVEN CUTER because Caroline loves to say “Arper! Arper!” She has a plethora of shoes as well, but insists on ONLY wearing her pink sparkle shoes because, duh, sparkles.

Caroline’s favorite things include cheese, strawberries, cereal, eggs, bacon, stealing my eggs and bacon, dogs, animals, play dough, coloring (on herself), children’s pain relievers, talking like a pirate, watching Disney shows on my phone, friends, dancing, Yo Gabba Gabba, fruit snacks, pointing at things, trying to drink my coffee, books* and her brother.

Least favorite things include CAT scans, being really really tired, Lara Bars, not being allowed to jump off of high things, not being allowed to watch shows on my phone, not getting her way immediately, having her hair brushed, and being pushed off of playground equipment.

Today you get 21 photos because she in 21 months and also because I couldn’t narrow it down to any less because I love her so much I think they are all the very cutest picture of her ever. No THAT one’s the cutest. No THAT one. HERE JUST LOOK AT ALL OF THEM.

*pictures feature all of Caroline’s current favorites: Where The Wild Things Are, The Sailor Dog, Llama Llama Red Pajama, Mike Mulligan And His Steam Shovel and Baby Beluga.

21 Month Milestones (from BabyCenter, as usual)

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
Can walk up stairs – Don’t even THINK about trying to help her.
Able to set simple goals (e.g., deciding to put a toy in a certain place) – The goals Caroline sets are more like “see how many times I can make my mom button and unbutton my shirt today before she loses her mind” or “pretend my shoulder hurts so I get another popsicle but then jump up and down on the couch with it laughing”. I’m just hoping none of her goals involve selling her brother for more play-dough.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
Throws a ball overhand – Only if she’s aiming at someone’s face.
Kicks ball forward – Only if she’s aiming at someone’s face. Or crotch.
Stacks six blocks – No comment. But also, yes.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
Names simple picture in a book – She can name all the animals in Baby Beluga, including “harbor seal”, “narwhal”, and “puffin”.
Can walk down stairs – Don’t you even THINK about trying to help her. Although really you have to a little because she’s so short her legs aren’t really long enough for stairs.

Evan started school on Tuesday. He’s going Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays, which is kind of a wonky schedule but we do gymnastics on Wednesdays and I didn’t want to have to pull both kids out just so Evan could go to pre-pre-K. Some kids attend all five days so he’ll see some of the same friends regularly. Plus at the first day of drop off I ran into TWO of the moms from gymnastics, so he already has a couple friends in his class. I’m sensing a whole new circle of mom-friends in the making and I’m kind of excited. Unless, of course, then find my blog. Then I’m sensing I’ll be shamed out of the school entirely.

Ideally, I will do this every year for the rest of his school days. More likely I will do it next fall and then totally forget about it. And somehow I can’t picture a 13 year old 8th grade Evan wanting to pose while I ask him what his favorite toy is. MOM. TOYS ARE FOR BABIES. I like XBox.

p.s. I pretty much died when he said Caroline was his best friend.

Someone was annoyed I didn’t want to take HER picture

After a successful first day of school (no one cried except me!) we met E for a quick treat  and tried to get Evan to tell us about school. He wasn’t really interested. Or, more likely, he was just really really interested in his cheeseburger and milkshake.

Caroline gets a special treat for surviving 2.5 hours without her brother.

Yesterday was also Evan’s 41st monthday. Even though I stopped officially doing updates after he fell off the Baby Center charts at 36 months, I still think about how he’s growing and getting smarter and learning new stuff every single month on the 5th. I think school is going to accelerate things to a level I’m not sure I can handle – the less he acts like a little kid the sorrier I am that those years are so very short.

I just have to keep reminding myself school is good for BOTH of us. Today, while Evan is at preschool being a big kid I get to go grocery shopping with ONE CHILD at the base commissary, something I’ve literally never done despite their dramatically lower prices because it is too far to drag two children who might melt down plus the carts and aisles are too small. I’ve been making a list for three days, I’m so excited about this shopping trip. My life may not be glamorous, but it I think it’s pretty sweet.

I realized this week that twenty months isn’t really that far from twenty four months, which means Caroline’s birthday is coming up. I’m not even going to pretend I’m sad about it – I’m too excited about getting to throw a party (I’m thinking winter/arctic fairy wonderland in white and red plus some puffins and whales and narwhals because, duh). Plus she’s already seemed like a big girl for so long now it hardly makes a difference if she IS actually a big girl. The only down side is I don’t get to blow strangers away with her awesomeness, although that hasn’t been happening too much lately since I think she hit a growth spurt and has super super long legs so she doesn’t look tiny. I HOPE she hit a growth spurt, since her normal breakfast is three scrambled eggs, an apple, toast, a cheese stick and a bowl of cereal. JUST FOR BREAKFAST.

She’s still pretending she wants to potty train, but only enough to be kind of a pain in the ass – last night at dinner she INSISTED she had to poop on the potty, which she totally did, but then she pooped again. In the bathtub. On purpose. Because she thinks that’s hilarious. I think I’m going to give her through mid-September and then I’m switching to underwear and we’re going to do this more seriously. Things are just too hectic right now to do it entirely on my own. Oh yeah, and, I’m lazy.

We’ve been going to the playground a lot lately, although all Caroline does is swing. The whole time. Just swing. While shouting “HIGHER!” at me and screaming if I try to walk away for even a second to help her brother not break his arm on the monkey bars. How dare I!? Worst Mother Ever. But she loves swinging so very much I can’t stop taking her. I pushed her for an hour and a half yesterday and she still screamed when I made her leave (to go eat blueberry pancakes. Someone call CPS!!) Who loves something so boring THAT MUCH?

Her other favorite things include her pink sparkle shoes, creepy dolly, OTHER creepy dolly, Minne Mouse, both of her blankies, apples, plums, eggs, reading books, my singing voice (bless her), dancing, kitties, whales, grapes, Octonauts, napping in my bed, arguing, saying NO, running, splashing, babies, the zoo, aoudads (at the zoo), cheese and having people tell her she’s pretty.

Dislikes include having a dirty diaper, half of her clothes, not having enough eggs, not reading books and not swinging.

These pictures are kind of not great and all over the place but between the swinging and the blueberry pancakes we were Very Busy And Important today, so I had to do them right before bedtime.

She insisted on wearing her crown…as a garter. And then biting it.

Hi neighbors!!

Double trouble

Daredevil baby is always covered in bruises

Happy 20th Monthday Caroline!

20 Month Milestones (from BabyCenter, as usual)

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
Feeds doll – CAROLINE DOESN’T SHARE FOOD. But she could feed her doll if she wanted to.
Takes off own clothes – She can get from dressed to entirely naked in less than 30 seconds, including her diaper. I’m not sure if I should be proud or invest in snaps that lock shut.
Dumps an object in imitation, such as throwing garbage away – In imitation? No. But if you say “Hey Caroline, go throw your jammies in the laundry and this diaper in the trash and this bowl in the sink” she will do all those things correctly. When she feels like listening, she is EXCELLENT at following directions.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
Learns words at a rate of ten or more a day – Easily. Her words this week include “iPad, sound machine, penguin, puffin (she can tell the difference between those last two in her books), lion, bell, carpet, Bailey (one of Evan’s friends), soda, bacon, eggs” and “band-aid”.
Can walk up stairs (but probably not down) – Up and down. Although down still makes me nervous, so I insist on hand holding if it’s more than a couple steps.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
May start exploring genitals – There was a playdate a few days ago with a friend who was very interesting in his own, ah, areas. Now Caroline thinks putting her hand in her pants is HILARIOUS. Toddlers, they’re just like frat boys!
Draws a straight line – She loves to color but I wouldn’t call any of her lines straight. Mostly they’re just scribbles. In pen. She hates crayons.
Names several body parts – She loves body parts, but refers to everything from her neck to her thighs as “butt”. We’re working on it.