Surprisingly, this month-day didn’t come up too fast. I’ve been saying Baby Evan was 14 months old for a couple weeks until I remembered May came after April and it wasn’t yet June and the number after 12 is 13. It’s understandable I’d have some trouble, seeing as how I’ve only know my months and numbers for the last 26 years or so. After the immense excitement of Baby Evan’s 1st birthday party and all the traveling we did in May I somehow expected the time to just fly by, when instead it dragged on, rich and full and slow like molasses. But now my baby is officially 14 months old and we can barrel on towards our next month-day.

14 Month Milestones (from BabyCenter)

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
• Eats with fingers – Yes! Food! He puts food in his mouth!!
• Empties containers of contents – Any container of anything ever.
• Imitates others – Seriously one of the most fun milestones, since now you have the power to make the baby do all sorts of funny things. We have a new game that involves smacking ourselves in the face. It’s a lot cuter than it sounds there.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
• Toddles well – Unstoppable.
• Initiates games – He initiates games with the dog all the time, especially “I’ll hold your tail while you try to run away and we’ll see how long it takes for me to fall down” and “sit still, you’re a chair!”
• Points to one body part when asked – NOSE!
• Responds to instructions (e.g., “give me a kiss”) – Oh he responds alright. Unfortunately, most of the time when I ask he throws himself backwards to avoid having to give kisses. Although he has no shortage for his father. He also knows “no” “don’t touch that” “stop” “not yours” “danger” and “hey cut it out!” I’m kind of exhausted.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
• Uses a spoon or fork – He could get a spoon in his mouth but not without getting most of the food on his face or shirt.
• Matches lids with appropriate containers – No. But then again, I care barely do that.
• Pushes and pulls toys while walking – Yes.

Enjoying his stash of things he's not allowed to touch.

Pretending to be Daddy.

Why are you bothering me? Can't you see I'm on a call right now?

One of the rare moments he's climbing it the correct way.

I do it all by myself!

Hi mama, whatcha doin? Whatcha doin' mama? Whatcha lookin' at?

Love my doggie. Dog dog dog dog dog.

Ooof, being 14 months old is exhausting. Time to lie down.

I totally forgot that babies continue to grow once you get past 12 months. For some reason I had gotten it into my head that after his first birthday Baby Evan would just continue to be one forever. Which, actually, wouldn’t be so bad. It’s a pretty good age. If you don’t count the teething, which could really be said about almost any baby age. Oh teething.

Chillin' at Stroller Strides, still our favorite way to start the morning. Despite the obvious AWESOMENESS of that hat he refuses to keep it on more than 30 seconds.

On the super cool milestone front, yesterday E taught Baby Evan to climb up AND slide down his Little Tikes plastic slide by himself. There was only one falling-on-his-head incident, which is normal for an average day around here. Baby Evan sometimes falls on his head just from looking at the dog wrong. I’m really impressed he has the gross motor skills and the kind of control over his limbs it takes to climb a ladder, swing his legs around under him and push down a slide, especially since until recently the best he could do was kick the slide end and whine when I told him not to climb up that way. Although I think this means trips to the playground can no longer be called “leisurely” – the slide there is like 14 FEET TALL. Head-falling from that height is not so fun.

This picture makes my teeth hurt. Why my child is the only person on the planet who things gnawing on tin foil is fun is beyond me.

As far as the food thing goes, well, I almost don’t want to talk about it since things have improved so so so much it’s not worth jinxing. I’m willing to risk the wrath of the mommy-gods with almost ANYTHING ELSE (including sleep, as in, we night-weaned Baby Evan again this week and it’s going super well! I’m looking forward to a full 9 straight hours of sleep in my very very near future!) but when my kid actually starts opening his mouth and letting me feed him stuff off a fork I cannot screw that up. I will tell you he drank cow’s milk AND lemonade out of a glass today – with our help – so it’s just about time to start pushing the sippy cup as a means of hydration rather than just pouring water on the floor. My nipples are practically weeping with joy.

Just call me Baby E for Enigma. Or not. Whatevs. Does this look like the face of someone who cares?

Dude, we’re on a whole new chart over at BabyCenter!

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
• Uses two words skillfully (e.g., “hi” and “bye”) – I dunno. He say mama and dada with some purpose. He said “nigh-nigh” at bedtime last week. He’s said “hai” for a while but not consistently. He says things that sound like kitty and dog and no but not on command. I’m not exactly concerned about his language skills but he’s not exactly advanced.
• Bends over and picks up an object – Let’s just assume he can do every physical milestone between now and 18 months. Because physical development is not our problem.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
• Enjoys gazing at his reflection – He’s so vain, he probably thinks this blog is about him. Oh wait. Yes.
• Holds out arm or leg to help you dress him – Does kick his legs and arms and flail to prevent diaper changes count? Then yes. But he does know socks go on your feet and will try to put his socks on if I let him.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
• Combines words and gestures to make needs known – He still knows the sign for milk and dog a kitty and stop but doesn’t do them himself. I would say he combines yelling with reaching but not words and gestures.
• Rolls a ball back and forth – He can hit a ball with a stick and throw a ball in a forward direction about 75% of the time. The rest of his tries end up as some sort of slapstick routine where he drops it behind his head and gets totally confused when he can’t find it. I’ll try rolling back and forth this week.

Happy Monthday Little Monster!

At 7:21 pm tonight, Baby Evan will be 1 whole year old.

Most of my birthday posts have been filled with disbelief that the months since Baby Evan was born have passed so quickly. Oh my God, look how fast he’s growing. Holy cow, he can roll over/crawl/walk. Gee, we better hurry up and babyproof. Blah, blah blah blah yakety yak yak. It’s like the mantra of experienced parents everywhere: enjoy every moment because they grow up so fast.

But looking back, every second of the last year has been a million times longer than any previous second in any previous year. Time hasn’t flown, it’s stretched and stretched like a huge piece of taffy or the world’s longest Slinky. There have been a billion trillion zillion magical moments and another million terrible ones – sometimes all in just one day. My life is fuller, richer, busier, happier and just life-ier than ever before thanks to one tiny little 7 pound 12 oz miracle. Who’s now a 23 pound red-headed terror. But the cutest, sweetest, loviest little terror ever to run rampant through a sleepy Connecticut town. I thank God every day that I get to be his mother and pray I get to enjoy another long, busy, exciting, sleepless year starting tomorrow. Plus a 100 more after that.

12 Month Milestones from Baby Center

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
• Imitates others’ activities – He’s gotten really good at imitating. He can clap, give kisses, put things in, take things out and a few more.
• Indicates wants with gestures – Still not very good at pointing with a finger but reaches and definitely indicates wants.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
• Takes a few steps – RUNS.
• Says one word besides “mama” and “dada” – He only started saying “mama” yesterday with any meaning attached. But he DEFINITELY knows “mama” now and we’re working on “dada”. If we count “ba” as “ball” then sure, one other word.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
• Walks alone – RUNS. Although we’re still working on walking without falling and giving himself brain damage more than once or twice a day.
• Scribbles with a crayon – Who gives a 1-year old a crayon? I don’t have enough time to scrub my walls AND call poison control to find out how much wax a kid can safely eat.
• Says two words besides “mama” and “dada” – Well, if we could “ba” and “ball” and “balloon” then SURE. But not really.

Good morning Mama!! I have new teeth today!

Running towards Daddy (my hero)

Take my picture!

Ok, all done!

Like that title? I just made up a word, y’all.

Baby Evan has been experiencing a little bit of day/night reversal lately, but not in the usual way. Most of the time when babies get their days and nights confused it involves sleeping all day and very exhausted parents at night, especially during those first crazy, disorienting weeks right after you bring baby home. My child is doing just fine with his day-night sleeping patterns (besides the sudden and disappointing shortening of the ONE nap we have left to less than 2 hours most days) but his need-for-attention patterns are WHACKED.

Today at breastfeeding group Baby Evan flung himself into at least four different mamas’ laps, climbing over and pushing out of the way their own smaller babies. (He’s pretty much the infant version of Godzilla.) When one mom was foolish enough to pick him up after group he clung to her like she was the last empty lifeboat on the Titanic. While I was trying to make a pie this afternoon he literally hung on to my apron strings and pressed his face against the backs of my knees. His independent playtime has been cut from at least an  hour a day to just a few minutes at a time followed by much crying and whining and arm-raising until someone (me) lets him rub his nose on their shoulder and dig his sharp, grubby little finger nails into their arms.

And then bedtime comes and our sweet baby boy – who was once totally unable to sleep without at least 30 minutes of rocking and lullabies – thrashes out of our arms. He wants to be left ALOOOOOOOONE dammit, alone in the dark in his crib with his stuffed Yoda and his blankie. Mere minutes (and zero crying) after E sets a totally awake and active baby in his bed there is total silence from the nursery.The baby lays himself down. He pulls the blanket over himself, stuffs a corner in his mouth, and sleeps. It’s….mind boggling. As far as I know we haven’t trained him to put himself to sleep or encouraged it in any way. In fact, I’m a little sad he doesn’t want to rock before bed, since it’s the quietest, calmest part of the day and a baby cuddle is such a great way to relax.

I’ve started to wonder if affection works the same as food – maybe Baby Evan has a necessary daily allowance of love and if I meet all his needs before 7 pm he doesn’t have to fill up right before bed. Clearly his heart is bigger than his stomach.

Of course I know I’m tempting the mommy-blogger-gods AND Karma AND Fate AND probably a pack of rabid flying squirrels by writing about this on the internet, but I’m willing to risk it. Maybe my story will help some poor exhausted parent give their kid a chance to put himself to sleep and discover that’s what he wanted all along.

I feel like this month’s birthday is going to be mostly overlooked because next month’s is SO HUGE. In just two weeks, when people ask “How old is he?” I’m going to have to start saying “almost a year old.” When you think about a year’s worth of anything it seems like a really long time. No chocolate for a year, no internet for a year, no drinking for a year, no driving for a year, no shopping for a year all sound really really hard, but when you’re actually living that year day by day it passes pretty fast. Not getting a full night’s sleep for a year sounds TERRIBLE, but I’ve almost done it. And I’ll probably do it again. Look at me already writing the 12 month post when this is the 11 month milestone. I’m going to skip right to the BabyCenter chart to save you from any more blubbering about my baby growing up sooooo faaaaaaast.

11 Month Milestones from BabyCenter

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
• Says “mama” and “dada” to the correct parent – Uh, no. He says “mama” a LOT more than he used to but he doesn’t say “dada” very often. He does say “ba! ba! ba ba ba ba!!!” all day long.
• Plays patty-cake and peek-a-boo – He loves peek-a-boo and will play behind anything: my computer screen, the dog, the chair, a blanket, but he’s not very good with clapping yet so patty-cake is sort of pathetic.
• Stands alone for a couple of seconds – WALKS
• Cruises – WALKS

Emerging skills (half of kids can do)
• Understands “no” and simple instructions – Understands “no”, yes. LISTENS to “no”, not even a little. But he does follow simple instructions, like “bring that toy over here.” When he feels like it.
• Puts objects into a container – Puts them in, takes them out, puts them in. As long as the container is pretty big. This morning he threw his shoe in the trash and put the trash in his toy box.

Advanced skills (a few kids can do)
• Says one word besides “mama” and “dada” – See “babababa”. But he can sign “milk” and I think I saw him sign “more” and “dog”.
• Stoops from standing position – Definitely yes, he can squat without holding on to anything and stand up again. He likes doing it when he’s pooping.

So my kid really excels when it comes to physical development but is a little behind with the talking, which is the kind of thing a more high-strung mom might freak out about. If I start thinking about it too much even I get a little worried, but it’s more of a general annoyance that he doesn’t love me enough to call me Mama than a genuine concern he might be developmentally delayed in some way.

Baby Evan also has seven whole teeth with at least three more lurking just under his gums and yesterday he ate a couple of Beechnut animal crackers and part of a carrot stick. I feel like he’s right on the edge of discovering food is meant to be swallowed and one day he’ll just wake up and demand a cheeseburger and fries something really healthy and nutritious. I’m still loving baby-led weaning and highly recommend it especially if you’re as lazy as I am.

The past 11 months have been more fun, more work, more stressful and more enjoyable than any of my pre-baby life. I can’t wait to see what comes next. I apologize if the following photos hurt your uterus.