I picked the funniest photos as an apology for not getting this up sooner. My only excuse is I was busy watching all 24 episodes in season 8 of Grey’s Anatomy this weekend. I somehow forgot to watch all year until Twitter BLEW UP during the finale. Now all I can say is WHAT THE HELL, GREY’S?

Sunday:

Family hockey practice - I'm sitting in a chair drinking coffee, obviously

SHUT UP AND GET IN MY FACE, CAKE.

Obviously really excited about the twinkle lights

Monday:

I cut Evan's beautiful hair without crying.

Apparently a haircut was all he needed to be a BIG KID

Raise your hand if you're the cutest person here!

Tuesday:

Stroller Strides stretching!

Mini Gene Kelly

We had a really rough afternoon, so as long as they weren't crying I let them do whatever they wanted.

Wednesday:

See? I left the giant pile of clean laundry there ON PURPOSE so my kid could use the iPad in comfort. WISE CHOICES.

That blur is one really happy gymnast

I don't even have a caption for this face

Tiny baby reading a tiny book = GIANT SWOON

Thursday:

The narrator on this dinosaur app reads like he's doing the trailer for a Michael Bay movie.

WHEEEEEE!

I look way less cute when I nap on my face

Judge all you want, this pizza is DELICIOUS. I'm going to judge you for NOT eating it.

Friday:

And now he's 80 years old.

Mommy, the porch is my favorite.

Finally the kids are up someone else's butt.

Saturday:

Barking at the sea-lion

Back off you crazy lady, leave us the duck alone!

Being three is awesome.

Yeah, yeah, I know, Mother’s Day was like a zillion years ago and all the moms who REALLY appreciated their families already posted their recaps. What can I say, except maybe mine will remember to get me something next year.

The blankie she's wrapped in was my baby blankie, knit by my grandmother

Pallet petunia garden - we'll see if it holds up when I stand it against the fence

Srsly, the greatest swag anyone has ever given me - Corona garden tools are the BEST

GROSS

Super Hero Evan!

Monkey-see, monkey-do

Super Hero Caroline!

Grill tray for nachos on the grill = genius

NO SAD FACES ON MOTHER'S DAY

TWINS

Giant marshmallows might have been the highlight of his year

Here are some ways in which I am extremely uncool:

– I really like the song “Boyfriend” by Justin Bieber. I told people on Twitter I thought it was a Justin Timberlake song and most of them agreed which means I’m not crazy, just lame. Oddly, fifteen years ago I would have been EVEN MORE embarrassed to admit I liked Justin Timberlake than I am to admit I like this song now. I think I am just a lot harder to shame now that I’m a mom and have to do stuff like collect poop samples from my kid.

– I’ve been collecting poop samples from my kid. I have no idea where I should keep them until I turn them in to the doctor.

– I bought the One Direction album on iTunes and listened to it yesterday at the dentist. I lied to the him when he asked what I was listening to and said “NPR”. I sing along – LOUDLY – to that “What makes you beautiful” song anytime it comes on in the car.

– I like Smash even more than I like Glee. I don’t care one tiny bit how improbable and ridiculous any of it is – although I am really, really, enjoying my friend Sara’s snarky recaps on Television Without Pity.

– I am half way through the 3rd book in the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy. I would NOT like to talk about them.

– I have already started planning my outfits for BlogHer in NYC in August. I will try really really hard NOT to mention anything about it again until at least July. Except that I am rooming with these swell gals and I’m super excited.

– Because I am a terrible, neglectful mother Evan hasn’t been to the dentist yet. My office doesn’t see kids until 3 so I was waiting, but they’re a “family” dentist not a pediatric dentist and I’m not sure they’re prepared for what I am sure is going to be a very very angry toddler. Our insurance switched providers on May 1st and I checked with the local pediatric office and they accept it so I scheduled back to back appointments this morning. I cried after I made them because I am SO worried about how it will go/if they have cavities. I am probably crying at the appointments right now.

– This afternoon I am getting laser hair removal. I bought my treatments with a Groupon.

Ok, your turn. I’m going to need a laugh after both kinds of appointments today.

It was a good week! We had a lot of adventures, made some progress in the sleep department (going to bed at 9 pm helps), and it’s ending with cake and a date for E’s birthday.

Sunday:

I bought some Jason Wu at Target - one of these days I might even WEAR it

Lazy toddler is lazy

I brought my knitting to a Super Bowl party. I'm so cool.

Monday:

15 Weight Watcher's points. Totally worth it.

I am amazed at how quickly she fell in love with this seahorse

I'd call her a genius artist, but she keeps trying to draw with the wrong end.

Birthday crafting has begun! I got all 45 flags made this week.

Tuesday:

Beeyotch, don't be lookin' at my grapes.

Car naps FTW

Nice healthy dinner, until I ate like FIVE portions.

Wednesday:

Still having mixed feelings about gymnastics

Oh hey, whatcha got? Can I see it? Can I can I?

Adorable toddler photo opp ruined by my lazy housekeeping

Thursday:

Library turtle! Meaning a turtle at the library, not some sort of special species

The entire top floor of our town library is for kids. I feel like a total idiot for not going sooner.

Library train table. I'm surprised I EVER got Evan to leave.

I'd actually been in bed for at least half an hour when I took this. My life is so exciting.

Friday:

Evan and T sharing a hiding spot

Smug elevator face

This look is called "The Lazy Mother's Smock"

Sometimes, everyone gets along

Saturday:

I'd like to speak to a manager about this restaurant - there's a weird guy lurking in the corner

Someone was a little confused about whose birthday it actually is

Do I LOOK like I'm enjoying this, Mother?

I am a wee bit overexcited about tonight, because E and I are going OUT with NO KIDS because I found a baby sitter. We’re actually paying her an obscene amount of money to just be in the house – we’re not leaving until we put the kids to bed so they won’t even know we’re gone. It’s too bad we don’t live in the 1950’s when we could have just locked the door and told the neighbor to call the fire department if it looked like the house was burning down. Then we could afford to play a few more hands of blackjack tonight. Child endangerment what?

Did you take any camera phone photos this week? Link up with one or lots using the linky below and grab the code (so it shows on your blog too!) over at Amy’s . It’s really fun!

So apparently the accent vlog meme started amongst a bunch of bloggers going to The Blathering (which sounds awesome BTW – it’s just friends hanging out and getting coffee and drinking cocktails, minus the sponsors and the drama of a conference). I found other people’s vlogs super interesting and enjoyed hearing them speak words from their faces, so here’s my contribution.

Please to enjoy my awkwardness for the next eleven minutes*:

bebehblog’s accent vlog from Suzanne Davis on Vimeo.

To play along:

Say the following words:
Aunt, route, wash, oil, theatre, iron, salmon, caramel, fire, water, sure, data, ruin, crayon, toilet, New Orleans, pecan, both, again, probably, spitting image, Alabama, lawyer, coupon, mayonnaise, syrup, pajamas, caught

And answer these questions:
What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house?
What is the bug that curls into a ball when you touch it?
What is the bubbly carbonated drink called?
What do you call gym shoes?
What do you say to address a group of people?
What do you call the kind of spider that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs?
What do you call your grandparents?
What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket?
What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining?
What is the thing you use to change the TV channel?

*I know, that is RIDICULOUSLY long but I didn’t realized it until I was done and I didn’t feel like doing it for a FIFTH time. I will not be at ALL insulted if you skip this altogether.