I had a really clever and original idea for tomorrow’s Baby Evan is 10 Months Old! post, and in preparation I did an internet image search for “eHarmony profile”. This was the third most popular search result:

Now, I’m not saying a drawing of a hippo playing a harp is the WORST choice ever for a dating website profile, but it may not give potential suitors the best possible first impression. May I suggest a robot playing volleyball or a cat doing geometry instead?

Out of curiosity I then searched “bad dating profile photos” and was disappointed the results weren’t especially funny or terrible. I suspect Google didn’t understand the question at all, since this was on the front page of my search:

Clearly, the BEST dating profile picture EVER. I would totally date that guy. He’s a doctor with excellent taste in ties. I wonder if I’m his type?

First of all, that is not the appropriate way to wear shoes, even weird sock-shoes with rubber treads on the bottom. They’re supposed to make walking around EASIER and somehow they just don’t look like that’s what they’re doing.

Second of all, I would be happy to put some clothes on you – since it’s JANUARY IN CONNECTICUT – if you would just hold still for the thirty seconds it takes me to get an outfit out of the basket. This pretending you’re going to sit quietly only to disappear completely as soon as my back is turned is getting old. I also don’t appreciate being kicking in the boob while trying to put on your pants. Treat your food with a little more respect.

Finally, whiskey tango foxtrot on the foxtroting BINKY?! NOW you’re ready for one? NOW you want to chew on something besides my nipples? NOW, when most moms are trying to take the binkies away? Hells no, child.

Oh ok. You can keep that one. For now.

The loud noise is coming from my baby. The background noise is his father encouraging it.

So 2009 was kind of a big year for me, what with HAVIN’ A BABY and all. I guess that was pretty much all I did though, besides stay married for 5 years and write a bunch of crap on the internet. Hey, let’s talk about that!

My 10 20 favorite (and most popular) posts of 2009

1. My first post with an actual baby: He’s finally here!

2. Birth story: Part 1 and Part 2.

3. Same and not the same: Pregnant vs. Drunk

4. Free show? Not so much: I think we need to discuss this.

5. Beautiful belly: Maternity Photos.

6. How to have a baby: Advice, for real.

7. Father & son adorableness: Daddy Time.

8. Real time baby care: 24. and 24: season 2.

9. Everything I know about breastfeeding: Your new breast friend.

10. Baby & dog video cuteness: Ten seconds before…

11. Hey, I’ve been married a while now: 5 years

12. Drama! Suspense! Vaccinations!: Can open, worms everywhere.

13. By far my most commented on post: Confessions of a secret co-sleeper.

14. Ooooo the cooking post: It doesn’t count as making dinner if all you make is a phone call.

15. Cute: A little man of many hats.

16. Bebehblog’s Babywearing Guide!

17. Guest post: Erin’s Breastfeeding Story (one of the best posts on my blog ever, even if it wasn’t the most commented)

18. The president luvs mah bebeh: Getting his political future started.

19. Loss: Knowing what to say.

20. Baby’s first visit with Santa: A little holiday cheer.

Thank you to everyone who reads, thank you to everyone who comments, thank you to everyone who has supported me on the internet, thank you to the mamas I’ve met in the last year, thank you to my friends at Papoose, thank you to my friends at Stroller Strides, thank you to my family, thank you to E’s family, thank you to every single person who has ever held a door for me while I was trying to push the stroller, and thank you to YOU for making 2009 the best year of my life so far.

Coming soon in 2010: Baby Evan eats food, learns to walk and talk, has first birthday. E turns the big 3-0, finds out if he makes officer, Navy possibly transfers us to different state. I, well, I plan to write about all that. And lose 30 lbs. Stay tuned!

Y’all. There’s something wrong with my bebeh. First it was chewing on anything made of leather. Then it was the carrying stuff around in his mouth. Now it’s this:

Do you want to know WHY he is doing that? It’s because the tile is cold and hard and his delicate little baby knees don’t want to touch it. On the one hand, those are some mad problem solving skills for a 9 month old. His little brain figured out how to avoid doing something he doesn’t like. This bodes very well for his survival in the world but not so well for my chance of getting him to mow the lawn someday. On the other hand, I want to tell him Dude, can you not SEE your knees? They’re the chubbiest little baby knees ever and if all that baby fat isn’t protecting you from cold hard things then I don’t know what it’s for.

Also, I am slightly jealous of his flexibility. I’ve always sucked at Downward Dog.